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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23926519">Suddenly Parents</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbindaeyo/pseuds/bbindaeyo'>bbindaeyo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Suddenly Series [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>iKON (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Double B with baby, F/M, Family Bonding, Family Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Sexual Content, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, but not in the first three chapter at least, but still a lot of fluff, maybe there's smut, with minor character death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:28:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>76,670</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23926519</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbindaeyo/pseuds/bbindaeyo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Both Kim Jiwon-ssi and Kim Hanbin-ssi will share custody of Kim Miwa.”<br/>There’s a millisecond death cold silent moment before Hanbin and Jiwon stormed.<br/>“WHAT??”<br/>The lawyer calmly nodded, like there was never a loud shout from two men sitting across him.<br/>“Look,” Hanbin said, “I don’t know this guy over here, this is like the second time I met him and you want me to raise a child with him? What if he’s a serial killer? A drug dealer? A human trafficker?”<br/>“Oh you fit that drug dealer image better than me, Kim Hanbin.” Jiwon scoffed.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Hanbin | B.I/Kim Jiwon | Bobby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Suddenly Series [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1831489</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>217</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>386</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. suddenly parents</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hey! tbh this fic inspired by the baby picture on my pinterest (there's so much pictures on explore because i was looking for photo's of Lilly--Donghyuk and Lisa's daughter in guardian AU, my twitter AU), and i really want to see Double B struggling with baby. so, enjoy!<br/>ps. pardon all the typo and grammar error because trust me i'm a typo queen.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hanbin never likes his brother’s wife, for him, she’s a gold digger, she wants his brother to work harder to make more money. For what? None other reason than to feed her selfish ass.<br/>
</p>
<p>He met her less than five times. First time was 3 years a go, when she was brought home to a family dinner, introduced as Haneul’s girlfriend. His mother was very happy and loves her so much but Hanbin never impressed. One year after that he met her again with his brother, on their wedding day. And a couple more time during her mother’s birthday and his father’s deathday commemorate.<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin ‘s father is long gone, it was around 6 years a go, Haneul inherit a small business from him, a perfume shop. The couple run the small perfume shop, Hanbin heard his sister in law also work in a book store not very far from the perfume shop.  Well, the perfume shop is for Hanbin too, but he wasn’t very interested in it, he choose to be a DJ in a local club, sometimes he even get invited to play outside Seoul. </p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Jiwon likes his brother in law, Haneul, even tho Jiwon thinks Haneul is a little spoiled as an oldest son, Haneul is decent and loves Jiwon’s sister very much. But Jiwon doesn’t like Haneul’s family. Well, Haneul’s mother is okay, she’s a nice old lady, she really aged beautifully. She lives with her sister, enjoying their old age in a nice house in Busan. But Haneul’s younger brother is another story, Jiwon doesn’t really like his brother, Hanin, or Hanbin, he doesn’t really care.<br/>
</p>
<p>He met him only once at Jian, his sister, wedding day, and while everyone dressed in a decent clothes, in suit whatsoever, this Hanbin kid came in ripped jeans, plain white t-shirt which the collar was too low (it shows part of tattoo he got on his chest) and a black blazer. Jiwon saw Haneul’s mom scold him but he just rolled his eyes. He’s freaking rolled his eyes on his mother.<br/>
Jiwon click his tongue. Disrespectful.<br/>
</p>
<p>For someone who lost their parents long time ago, Jiwon mentally cursed at Hanbin. Hanbin surely doesn’t know the blessing of still having one parent.</p>
<p>But those are just a beginning before the next news shocked everyone: 
</p>
<p>Haneul and Jian involved in a pile-up car accident in a high way outside Seoul. No one survived from the accident which implicated three city cars and a one big truck.<br/>
</p>
<p>Whole family of Hanbin and Jiwon’s siblings found dead, except for one,<br/>
</p>
<p>A ten months old baby, who was in a day care that day, waiting for her parents to fetch her.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Hanbin hugs his mother, she’s still sobbing from the news and they’re now on their way to the funeral home after the sepulture. Hanbin let his mother greet the guests while he took a sip of a mineral water to wet his gut. He closes his eyes. Everything seems very fast. His brother gone too soon.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Hanbin…” he open his eyes, lift his head to see a guy wearing a suit similar to his, with the stripes on the upper sleeves too.<br/>
Oh. This is Jian’s brother. Hanbin thought.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Hello…”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Jiwon.” He said, “Kim Jiwon.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah, I know you, I didn’t forget your name, it’s just-“ he chuckles, awkwardly chuckled, “my mind is not in it’s best state right now,”<br/>
</p>
<p>“I get it, I understand.” Jiwon tugged his lips, trying to form a smile. “I’m sorry for the loss.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“You too.” Hanbin murmured.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Boys, there you are…” Hanbin’s mother found him and Jiwon and she gave Jiwon a quick hug before sobbing again, “Jian… she—she’s a very good woman, Jian…”<br/>
</p>
<p>Jiwon hold Hanbin mother's hands, “I know, I know, eomu-nim… it’s okay…”<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin trying not to roll his eyes, he still can’t understand why his mother loves Jian so much.</p>
<p>Jiwon served the guest with food and drinks, he brought the tray here and there, greeting the close family friends who came to show their condolence. Then he saw Hanbin, only standing at the corner busy with his cellphone. He exhales a sharp breath.<br/>
</p>
<p>“It’s better if you help me serving the food and greet the guests.” Jiwon said, “I’m not the only one losing a sibling here.”<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin lift his head, “don’t you see I’m replying the condolence messages? I got plenty because my brother is good man.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Oh you think I don’t get those messages? Do you think my sister is not as good as your brother?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“I didn’t say that,” Hanbin shrugged his shoulder, “you knew her better than me, what was she like?” he ask but obviously in sarcastic tone.<br/>
</p>
<p>Jiwon is ready to throw the tray he hold just to pull Hanbin’s colar if not for mrs. Kim calling them.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Hanbin, Jiwon, come here…” they both turned and saw a pretty little baby girl on her arm, “your niece.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Oh hey…” Hanbin caress her chubby cheek gently, “hello… it’s our first time meeting, hm?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Hey baby…” Hanbin swore Jiwon’s voice is low and rough and not to mention it got double meaning inside his head but he gotta let the other thought away.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Her name’s Miwa, Kim Miwa.” Hanbin’s mom said.<br/>
</p>
<p>“That’s cute… Miwa, really cute…” Hanbin offer her his open arm and she reach him like she wants him to lift her. Hanbin took her to his arms and hug Miwa, “it’s okay, Miwa, it’s okay.”<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin is a mollycoddle, he’s good with pets, like dogs and cats, even rabbit, or goat (their neighbour got a cute black goat back then when Hanbin still living in his parents house) not surprising if he could get along with Miwa. Not that Miwa is equal the pets but baby needs to be babying, and only people who good with pet or often speaks to their pets would understand how this babying baby should go.<br/>
</p>
<p>“I wonder who’s the foster parents, will it be her godparents?” Jiwon asks, sat beside Hanbin.<br/>
</p>
<p>“I don’t know, do they have that godparents thingies here in Korea? I don’t think so.” Hanbin replied. “maybe they’d just commend her to her grannies, right Miwaa…” he sang the last part.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Your mother then?”<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin turned to Jiwon, “where’s your parents?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Uh, mom passed away when I was five and Dad passed away when I was in high school. Both from diabetics.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“So you have the possibility of having diabetics too?”<br/>
</p>
<p>Jiwon nodded, “Yup, that’s why I exercise and thankfully I’m not a sweet tooth.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Well, anyway.” Hanbin said, “so Miwa will live with my mom?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Who else? Does she has any other options?”</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>“Mrs. Kim is not in her best state to raise a child, she has a high blood pressure and have to take care of her sister who is partially paralysed from stroke.” The lawyer said, “from what I have here is that Kim Haneul-ssi and wife Kim Jian-ssi said they want Miwa to be taken care of a family if anything happened that caused them death. And here, the family left is Kim Jiwon-ssi and Kim Hanbin-ssi.”<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin and Jiwon sat still, the lawyer been asking for a private moment to speak with the two guys before the full will reading later. Now they’re waiting for the final sentence of the will reading while praying that it’s not them who will get the custody.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Both Kim Jiwon-ssi and Kim Hanbin-ssi will share custody of Kim Miwa.”<br/>
</p>
<p>There’s a millisecond death cold silent moment before Hanbin and Jiwon stormed.<br/>
</p>
<p>“WHAT??”<br/>
</p>
<p>The lawyer calmly nodded, like there was never a loud shout from two men sitting across him.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Look,” Hanbin said, “I don’t know this guy over here, this is like the second time I met him and you want me to raise a child with him? What if he’s a serial killer? A drug dealer? A human trafficker?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Oh you fit that drug dealer image better than me, Kim Hanbin.” Jiwon scoffed.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Kim Jiwon-ssi is Kim Jian’s closest person. She said that in the will.” The lawyer said.<br/>
</p>
<p>“I can assure I indeed is very close to my sister, and I love her daughter even tho we just met, but” he quickly glancing at Hanbin, “I really don’t think this guy—who showed up in his only brother’s wedding in a ripped jeans and over worn t-shirt here know how rise a child.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Wow, you remember my clothes back then? Super sweet.” Hanbin sneered.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Kim Haneul also said that Kim Hanbin is the closest person to him beside his wife.”<br/>
Jiwon sighs, “Okay good, we’re the closest to our siblings, so?” he said, “don’t you think it’s reckless to leave a baby to two bachelors? You never know what are we, I don’t know this guy right here, he doesn’t know me. We’re not friends, and we’re not raising a baby together!”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Right, that’s not the best decision they made.” Hanbin added, “I mean look at us! I’m a DJ in a night club. I can swear to you that I don’t do drugs but my job require me to not be home at night, and him… well, I don’t know what’s he’s occupation but maybe he’s unemployed and just spending day at the gym.”<br/>
</p>
<p>Jiwon rolled his eyes.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Calm down, Mr. Kim…s.” he said, “there’s always options.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“We’ll take whatever option is that!” they replied in unison.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Mrs. Kim, Hanbin’s mother sat in an arm chair in front of the two boys.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Son…” she’s looking at Hanbin and Jiwon, “you’ve heard the option, haven’t you?”<br/>
</p>
<p>They both nodded, the lawyer called mrs Kim and read the custody option, and he gave them time to decide.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Hanbin, you and Haneul had an extreme connection, he helped me raised you when your father’s passed away, he replaced your father’s figure, he might not the best, but he never failed you.” Then she turned to Jiwon, “Jian never stop talking about you, how she was very proud of you. Jiwon, you and I might only seen each other couple times, but I feel like I know you. Jian didn’t shut when you graduate from the pharmacist course, when you work at the hospital’s pharmacy, she’s the proudest of all, she worked extra hours in book store fro your final research, remember?”<br/>
</p>
<p>Jiwon nodded.<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin peeked him with the tail of his eyes. He’s a pharmacist?<br/>
</p>
<p>“Do you have the heart to leave Miwa in orphanage?” Mrs. Kim’s question is simple but it feels like a chunk of ice shove down the two boys’ throat down to their chest. It’s painful and cold.<br/>
</p>
<p>“You just have to live with Miwa for few months before they found a better foster family for her.” Mrs. Kim stop for a soft sob, “even though I always questioning why Miwa has to live with a foster parents? A stranger for her when she had me, and she had two uncles…” she drown her face between her palms, crying.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>“What now?” Jiwon asked. He scoot his luggage with his feet towards the wall.<br/>
Jiwon look around, he never been here, to his sister and her husband’s apartment. It’s big enough for two. The apartment complex is a small four levels building, but each unit occupied a whole floor, and they’re in the second floor, it’s a three bedroom apartment with relatively large living room and kitchen, no dining table, just kitchen island with high chairs.<br/>
Hanbin shrugged his shoulders, he lived alone in a studio apartment with (obviously) no babies, so this is very new to him.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Wow nice, they have washing machine.” Jiwon said.<br/>
</p>
<p>“You never saw any?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“I had,” he rolled his eyes, “but I don’t have any in my apartment.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Living in a studio apartment too?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“More like dorm for hospital staff.” He said, “they have coin laundry in the basement tho, it’s nice.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“So you basically doctor or?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Just a pharmacist, it’s far from being called a doctor, I never study how to do surgery, or so…” Jiwon replied.<br/>
</p>
<p>“But I saw some pharmacist also examine patient.” Hanbin sat on the couch.<br/>
</p>
<p>"They’re Pharm.D, pharmacy doctors, require more years to study more subjects.” Jiwon walk around checking the room, he found one room full of toys, </p>
<p>“never saw this much pinks in my life.” He murmured.<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin followed him, “Miwa’s room? This is cute.” They both roaming around the baby’s room, she has many toys, many plushies, most of them are winnie the pooh and some unicorns. The room has a connecting door to the main bedroom, it’s not big but enough to accommodate one queen size bed, closet, a medium bookshelf which mostly filled with photo frames, small boxes of perfume samples, vitamins bottles, stationeries, and other random personal things<br/>
</p>
<p>They move to another room, “this might be a guest room.” Jiwon said.<br/>
</p>
<p>Then they both fall silence for a moment before speak again at the same time;<br/>
</p>
<p>“You can take the main bedroom.” Jiwon said.<br/>
</p>
<p>“I’ll stay here.” Hanbin said.<br/>
</p>
<p>They were taken aback.<br/>
</p>
<p>“No,” Hanbin said, “there’s no way I sleep in my brother’s bed.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Me too, I don’t feel like—“<br/>
</p>
<p>“You’re afraid, aren’t you? You afraid of ghost?” Hanbin asked.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Me? I’m working at the hospital, I practically live beside the building where the view of nurses pushing around bed with deadbodies on it is so common.” Jiwon scoffed, “maybe it’s you the little scaredy cat?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Excuse me?” Hanbin “I’m working in the night time, and I have to walk across the empty park everytime I got back from work. Do you think I’m afraid of such thing?”<br/>
</p>
<p>Jiwon shrugged his shoulder.<br/>
</p>
<p>“It’s the matter of integrity, okay? I can’t just sleep in my late brother’s bed.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“well, me too.” Jiwon said.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Okay, then someone has to sleep in the couch.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Not me.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Not me too.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Oh come on!”<br/>
</p>
<p>“What??” Hanbin raised his voice, “you expect me to give in just because I’m younger?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“You’re younger?” Jiwon asked.<br/>
</p>
<p>“My mom said so, she said you were born in 1995, I’m 1996.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“There you go, dongsaeng!” Jiwon raised his hand, “show some respect to hyung.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Don’t put your hopes too high, Jiwon, I will never call you hyung.” Hanbin sneered.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Will we ever solve this endless quarrel?” Jiwon asked, “I started to feel like married couple here.”<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin had stop stop talking to prevent him from choking, “the fuck…” he murmured.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Ha, that’s the first rule,” Jiwon raised his index finger, “no swearing.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Wow, you and your noble life, huh?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Hanbin, there will be Miwa here, I don’t want her first word is ‘fuck’ or ‘shit’ or something like that.”<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin rolled his eyes, “okay, deal, so who’s sleeping in the couch?”<br/>
</p>
<p>They made this schedule, someone will sleep in the couch every two days. But the one who sleep is the bedroom has to make breakfast and has to wake up if Miwa is hungry or bored and decided to cry in the middle of the might.<br/>
</p>
<p>The door bell rang and Hanbin drag himself to open it. It’s his mother, a social service officer from the police department, the lawyer, and Miwa.<br/>
“Miwa…” Hanbin took her from the social service officer arms.</p>
<p>Seems like the mid part of the living room was set empty for Miwa to learn how to walk, so everyone has to sitting in a couch which pressed by the wall, </p>
<p>Hanbin and Jiwon dragged two high chairs from island kitchen to sit with Miwa inside the baby crib.<br/>
</p>
<p>“I’m Jung Chanwoo, the social service officer, I’ll come visit in some random time to check on the family situation for the next few months, if you have difficulties please don’t hesitate to contact me. I’ll be available anytime.”<br/>
</p>
<p>Jiwon and Hanbin nodded, and after few question from mr. Jung, they finally get to talk  with the lawyer again.<br/>
</p>
<p>“I’m really sorry I haven’t told you this but, Mr. Jung doesn’t know that you both are family related.”<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin and Jiwon seems confuse with the statement, “okay… and?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Look he’s the decision maker if you two are good fo Miwa or not.” He said, “first, you have to act like a perfect parents to Miwa so she doesn’t have to wait for her new foster parents in the orphanage.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Wait! Miwa still going to look for a foster parents?? I thought—“ Hanbin turned to his mother, “mom?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“I realised it’s hard for you and Jiwon to have this huge responsibility so sudden, so, I talked to mr. lawyer to find Miwa a family but not a stranger, maybe from Jian’s cousins, or Haneul’s cousins… we’re trying to find the most suitable one, dear.”<br/>
</p>
<p>Both didn’t object because it’s all true, having Miwa is a big deal, it’s not like adopting a cat or a goat.<br/>
</p>
<p>Jiwon lift his head to the lawyer, “and what about the issue that the social officer doesn’t know that we’re family related?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Right,” the lawyer look around, mr. Jung is in the small balcony taking a phone call, “as what mrs. Kim said, we’re gonna look for another foster parents, that’s why you have to act like you both are couple in trial to get Miwa’s custody, let’s say Jiwon is the cousin of Miwa’s parent and Hanbin is the partner, you two are competing with other cousin to get Miwa’s custody… but in the end you gonna lose to, you know, whoever me and mrs. Kim find suitable to adopt Miwa.”<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin frown his eyebrows “T-that’s sound complicated, but why should we—?“<br/>
</p>
<p>“Because if mr. Jung knew you both are the direct family, the siblings, you both gonna get the custody instantly. But none of you want it, right?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Ah, I see…” Jiwon murmured.<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin didn’t say anything, there’s a war inside his head, he really can’t give Miwa away for some random cousin but he clearly agreed that his not capable raising a baby.<br/>
</p>
<p>“We’re not Miwa’s direct uncles, but we have to behave perfectly so Miwa doesn’t have to stay at the orphanage, right?” Hanbin repeated.<br/>
</p>
<p>The lawyer nodded. “yes, you both are lovely couple.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Wait, WHAT??” they both shout in unison.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Oh it’s so cute that you two always so align.” The lawyer laughs with mrs. Kim.<br/>
</p>
<p>“No, why we have to act like couple???” Hanbin asked.<br/>
</p>
<p>“He said it before, Bin, didn’t you listening? He said, Jiwon is the cousin and you’re the partner.” Mrs. Kim sighs.<br/>
</p>
<p>“But mom—“<br/>
</p>
<p>the glass door of the balcony opened and Hanbin closes his mouth.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Sorry for the interruption, so…” mr. Song sat on the couch, “you’re gonna live here?”<br/>
</p>
<p>Jiwon nodded, “yes, mr. Jung, we can’t bring Miwa back to our place because we tried to lessen any discomfort for her.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“The loss and all the situation she couldn’t understand surely is confusing for her. And we understand Miwa knew this house for her whole life, it’s better not to push big changes on her.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“That’s a considerate move.” Mr. Jung said, “and I will comeback again soon to have more interviews, together and individually.” He stood up, “thank you, everyone, mr. Kim,” he nod at Jiwon, “and husband.” He nod to Hanbin and bid himself goodbye.<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin show a faint smile, trying not to look so stiff.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>“A husband.” Hanbin shook his head in disbelief, “he went out the house nodding to that druggist calling his name while turning on me saying, ‘husband’. I fucking have name.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Druggie? Your in law’s brother a druggie??’<br/>
</p>
<p>“Druggist, Junhoe, a pharmacist, a chemist, whatever.” Hanbin exhale a sharp breathe.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Hey, Bin, you're up in five minutes.” Won, he and Junhoe’s manager stick his head between the waiting room door, and leave again the next second.<br/>
</p>
<p>Junhoe wind up his arm around Hanbin’s waist, “don’t frown, you’re scary enough without frown.” He peck Hanbin’s temple, “good luck.” He pushed Hanbin towards the door.<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin and Junhoe are DJs under ONEcolony, an indie musician and DJs collective agency own by Jaewon or Won. and it’s been sometime that he and Junhoe had this amicable relationship, they’re a good friend to each other, sometime share their daily stories, maybe a kiss or two, or an inexplicable sex when they’re super drunk. Well then it’s not very amicable after all.<br/>
</p>
<p>The club was super packed since it’s Friday night. Music blasting, laser lights cutting the wave of people dancing, explosion of jubilation in the form of people’s laughter, faint chants swallowed by the loud thud of drum and bass. Hanbin work in full concentration, as a DJ he considered the one who rarely drink, let alone taking any illegal euphoric acids. He likes to see people enjoying the music he made, looking at them dancing, laughing, some are doing some stupid things like kissing random strangers, he witnessed many reckless action and sometimes couldn’t help but wondering how these people take the regret on the next day.<br/>
</p>
<p>Not like he never be in their position, getting drunk only to find himself on the bed with a stranger. Sometimes with girls, some other times are boys. He never really mind.<br/>
</p>
<p>He felt his cellphone buzzing at the back of his jeans pocket and during a song where needs no mixing, he took his cellphone and open the message.</p>
<p>Jiwon:<br/>
Miwa woke up since 11 and refuse sleep again until now.</p>
<p>Hanbin peeked on the time Jiwon sent the message 1.04 am.</p>
<p>Jiwon:<br/>
I changed his diaper, and found only 5 left, can u stop by a convenience store to buy more diapers? </p>
<p>Jiwon:<br/>
Would u also grab bread and banana?</p>
<p>Jiwon:<br/>
Thank u.</p>
<p>Hanbin sighed. He does feels like a husband.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Jiwon remember all the face mask, rubber gloves and lots of wet tissue piles only to change Miwa’s diaper on their first day with her, thankfuly mrs. Kim stayed there for two days to teach them the basic things like changing the diaper, feed her, bath her (this one’s very tough), and some basic knowledge of having 10 months old baby.<br/>
</p>
<p>Now is their sixth day together with Miwa, everything is not yet perfect (Miwa still refuse some foods and they don’t know how to make her eat anything beside banana) but they’re trying. Jiwon is now looking at how peaceful is she sleeping next to him on the bed, he has to move her to the baby room very soon before Hanbin back, if Hanbin found out, it’ll be another problem.<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin read all the books, journals, articles about rising baby in a right way, he read it during his free time because he mostly work on the weekend. He said Miwa has to sleep in her crib for early self soothe, independence, and confidence.<br/>
</p>
<p>“who need independencies on their 10th months of living in the world?” Jiwon murmured, but he remembered Hanbin glared at him.<br/>
He sat on the couch after putting her back in her crib, taking a bottle of mineral water while watching the TV, it’s still played some sleepy moon and purple clouds singing lullaby. He took the remote and turn in off, just in time when the door’s beeping.<br/>
Hanbin’s home.<br/>
</p>
<p>One thing he learns from the guy is he’s very neat. Jiwon might work in the place where he should be very clean and detailed but Hanbin is naturally well-ordered, a bit clean freak maybe. Haneul and Jian has this small round robot that will sweep and mop the floor twice a day, but Hanbin is never seen without a tissue, napkin, or a small cloth to wipe anything; a circle shaped water-dropped from Jiwon’s drinks dew on the table, food on Miwa’s face, drool on Miwa’s face, Miwa’s face, Miwa’s face, he gonna make the baby shining from over dabbing her mouth.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Hey.” He said, there’s a big plastic bag on his hand.<br/>
</p>
<p>“You got the diaper?”<br/>
</p>
<p>“Yeah.” He said.<br/>
</p>
<p>“The bread? Banana?”<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin paused, “yes, ahjuma.”<br/>
</p>
<p>Jiwon snorted, “how’s the convenience store guy’s face when you get into the shop looking like that but buying these things?”  he smirks.<br/>
Hanbin sat on the high chair in the kitchen while Jiwon took out the groceries, he chuckles before answering, it was indeed funny, they guy behind the cashier would hundred percent sure Hanbin who was in his fashionable leather jacket, ripped black jeans and a lose black tank, with the hair spiked up leaving the neat shaved on the side visible, will get into the store buying beers, cigarette, or condoms. But he went straight to the aisle where they keep tampons, tissue, and diapers, then taking banana and bread on the way, he’s adding a strawberry milk for himself, to keep him company while driving home.<br/>
</p>
<p>“He doesn’t say anything but his look was kind of judging.” Hanbin replied.<br/>
</p>
<p>“He probably think you impregnate your high school sweetheart.” Jiwon laughs, “you want some tea?”<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin halts a bit, he get used to live alone for years, and it’s their first weekend, the first time Hanbin went to work and it’s kind of weird to have someone waiting for him to come home (well Jiwon is not completely waiting for him, he’s awake because of Miwa, of course) but something that’s even weirder is to have someone offering him a hot tea.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Hanbin?”<br/>
</p>
<p>Hanbin quickly nodded, as Jiwon took two cups and two tea bags. Jiwon working days is five days a week, 6-7 hours per shift, he usually leave home at 8 in the morning and finished at 3 pm if he has a morning shift, or at 2 in the afternoon and get back to home before 9pm for the afternoon shift.<br/>
</p>
<p>Jiwon slide the cup in front of Hanbin and he said thank you before sipping the tea. 
</p>
<p>They don’t really talk. 
</p>
<p>And the first week with Miwa seems bearable, even though they still haven’t figure out how to make Miwa eat other things besides banana.</p>
<p>-</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. neighbours</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>where the boys getting to know people lives around them. and dealing with their first strife.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for such a warm welcome to my AU.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>They live in a four levels apartment building which means there are only three families, or group of friends, or individuals living beside them, and at first, Jiwon and Hanbin didn’t care at all, but seems like Haneul and Jian are very sociable in this small neighborhood.</p><p>One afternoon when Jiwon arrived from work, he met a guy at the apartment yard, right after he entered the security post (because Jiwon prefer bus or cab then bring his own vehicles to work.), the guy said hi and ask if they’re the new couple occupied the Kim’s floor. Jiwon nodded.</p><p>“I’m Jinhwan, I’m from the first floor.” He said.</p><p>“Nice to meet you.” Jiwon politely bowed.</p><p>“Jiwon-ssi, I’m very sorry about what happened to Haneul and Jian, I came to to their funeral, I saw you and the other guy but I didn’t get to say hi.” There’s a over friendliness offered by this guy, it brought him to some kind of discomfort.</p><p>This Jinhwan guy is too touchy.</p><p>“You have to invite me and the rest of the neighbor for dinner or so,” he said while caressing his arm, and Jiwon flinched, “I mean, not that I’m pushing you for hosting a party or something, but Haneul and Jian is the most socialize people in this building, well… we all: me, my partner, the couple living above you, and another couple with kid living at the fourth floor, he’s the son of this building owner.” He pretend to whisper, “we are very close to Haneul and Jian.”</p><p>Jiwon a bit taken a back to see Jihwan is winking. Did he just winking at him?</p><p>“Soo…” again, Jihwan run his small palm along Jiwon’s built arms, “you gonna raise Miwa alone?”</p><p>“I’m here with my husband.” He blurted, without even thinking about it. Jinhwan’s wink got him saying this.</p><p>
  <em>Doom. Kim Jiwon. You’re doom.</em>
</p><p>“Husband?” Jinhwan widen his eyes, “ugh… he’s so lucky…” Jinhwan hissed while scanning Jiwon from head to toe like an x-ray machine.</p><p>Jiwon quickly bid himself goodbye before Jinhwan touching him again in God knows where.</p><p> </p><p>He got into the unit and welcomed by the view of Miwa sleeping in the big baby beanbag on the floor and Hanbin is in the balcony hanging the laundry at the clothesline.</p><p>“Bin.” He slide the door open.</p><p>“Oh hello.” He replied.</p><p>“Have you met the neighbors?”</p><p>“Uhm, not yet.”</p><p>“I met one downstairs.” He took one clothes from the basket and lash it a bit before handling it to Hanbin.</p><p>“Did you say hi?” Hanbin took the clothes and hung it.</p><p>“Of course,” Jiwon replied, “and he asked us to host some kind of, I don’t know, house warming party or so.”</p><p>“What for?”</p><p>“He said our siblings is very outgoing, and everyone in this building is very close.” He took another pile of clothes, “do you think we should make one?”</p><p>“Nope, what for?”</p><p>Jiwon shrugged his shoulder; “you know to… get to know them so, if one day, just in case both of us are not able to watch Miwa, we can ask them for a favor.”</p><p>Hanbin considering Jiwon’s suggestion, “hmm, you have points.”</p><p>“I do.” He smiles, “so?”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Hey everyone… thank you for coming.” Hanbin welcomed the neighbor right on Sunday, in their 13<sup>th</sup> days with Miwa.</p><p>Jiwon received the wine and some cakes they brought, “we’re sorry that we couldn’t hold a dinner party or brunch, because as you can see, we don’t have dining table.” Jiwon apologetically said.</p><p>“Oh is Miwa walks already?” a woman, in dark brunette hair asked, she hold a baby like five months old.</p><p>“No, no, not yet, but we’re preparing, because she crawls, and like to standing on her own sometimes.” Hanbin said.</p><p>“Right, oh by the way, you must not know yet but we usually hold the dinner or brunch on the rooftop,” another woman, with a toddler, a boy around three years prompt. “hello I’m Lisa, this is my husband Donghyuk, and this is our boy, Ezra. We lived in the third floor, right above you, so if you hear a small stomps around the house is probably Ezra having some cardio exercise.” Lisa rolled her eyes.</p><p>“And if you hear a loud shout, that’s Lisa having a high blood pressure over Ezra.” Donghyuk added.</p><p>“I’m Yunhyeong, by the way, that’s my wife Jisoo, and our baby boy Haru.” A guy looked very dandy with his beautiful wife smiling, both has an angelic smiles, “we lived at the top floor.”</p><p>“Ah, the owner’s son?” Jiwon asled.</p><p>“Yup, that’s me.” Yun’s laughing.</p><p>“Good afternooon…” small frame, flirty smile, cheery voice, “hello Jiwonnie.”</p><p><em>Jiwonnie?</em> Hanbin throw a sharp gaze to Jiwon. Then he strectch a fake smile, “first floor neighbor?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“Yup!” he turned to the rest, “hey everyone…”</p><p>“Jinani…” Yun smile and give him a warm hug, seems like this small guy is pretty popular.</p><p>“Where’s your boyfriend?” Lisa asked.</p><p>“Ugh, dumped him few days a go, such a baggage.” He rolled his eyes and Lisa giggled. “now I’m single and ready to mingle!” he looked around then pinned his eyes to Jiwon, “too bad some good stuff are taken, don’t you girls agree?” he pouted and Lisa and Jisoo giggles.</p><p> </p><p>They had a good afternoon wine time, but not too much because everyone except Jinhwan has a kid. And, Jiwon and Hanbin realized all couples are hetero, well again except Jinhwan but he’s not married.</p><p>“Who proposed?” Jinhwan asked Jiwon and Hanbin.</p><p>“W-what?” Jiwon almost choked.</p><p>“Who proposed so you both got married, someone has to propose, right?” he looked around.</p><p>“Oh, of course…” Jiwon murmured, “Hanbin y—“</p><p>“Nope, not me again, why is it always me… you tell them this time.” Hanbin said while giving Miwa her pacifier.</p><p>Jiwon mentally cursed. Hanbin was pissed enough that Jiwon told the neighbour they’re couple and worse, married, and now he know Hanbin won’t let himself in further trouble by having an obligation to create a fake proposal story.</p><p>But Jiwon is not gonna make it easy for him, “it’s a little surprising maybe for you all, because maybe you guessed that I’ll be the one on my knee, but no, it’s Hanbin.”</p><p>There are various expression of endearment like “aaww…” coming from everyone.</p><p>But Jiwon saw from his peripheral vision that Hanbin is more than ready to fight.</p><p>“He’s so in love with me, he gotta claim me as soon as possible.” Jiwon wear a dopey smile on his face, as if he’s really happy.</p><p>“If he propose, does it mean you’re bottom??” Jinhwan raised his eyebrows.</p><p>“Jinani, Jinani… we’re not talking about that with children around.” Yun prompted.</p><p>Jinhwan cutely pouting.</p><p>“So, how did you divide the role for Miwa?” Jisoo asked.</p><p>“Role about?” Hanbin asked back.</p><p>“You know, role in the house also… like…” Jisoo seems hesitant, “the mother and father role.”</p><p>“Oh…” Jiwon send a look to Hanbin, hoping he jump in this time.</p><p>“We haven’t decide it yet,” Hanbin got Miwa crawled into his lap, “As you all probably know, this is so sudden… we got called about Haneul and Jian, and everything suddenly moving very fast. We were just—uh—in our daily routine and the next day we’re here. Trying to raise a baby. That’s just so crazy.”</p><p>Jiwon watching him talking, it’s an honest answer, he doesn’t try to create a better answer, or a more pretentious one. He told them they real situation, still guessing what to do.</p><p>“Who’s the bad cop?” Donghyuk asked, “Lisa and I always argue about this.”</p><p>“What bad cop?” Habin asked.</p><p>“The one who said no to the kids.” Donghyuk replied.</p><p>“Oh,” Hanbin paused, “we… we haven’t. in fact, we never said no to Miwa.”</p><p>“What?” Lisa popped her big eyes, “you have to learn how to say no! guys, Miwa is now your daughter, you can’t act like you will give her back to her parents one day.”</p><p>It hits Jiwon and Hanbin right on their chest.</p><p>They treat Miwa as if one day Haneul and Jian will show up again.</p><p>Miwa stretch her little arms, reaching Jiwon.</p><p>Jiwon and Hanbin exchange gaze, “come—come here, baby. Uncle got you.” Jiwon swoop her from Hanbin.</p><p>“And maybe you should start letting her know you both are not her uncle, but her dads.” Lisa added.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Strangely it bothered Hanbin to see Jinhwan latching himself near Jiwon all the time, his hand never leaves Jiwon’s arms alone, there’s always caressing, small touch, soft punch. Hanbin is having naussea, maybe because he hates to see Jiwon having a good time while Miwa keep on whining about many things, refusing her teether, threw out her shooter, and keep making Hanbin on the edge.</p><p>
  <em>This is also your freaking responsibility, Kim fucking Jiwon! </em>
</p><p>“Hello,” Hanbin came in between Jinhwan and Jiwon conversation with a sweet greetings, “seems like a very interesting conversation you have here, gentlemen, but Jiwon can you hold Miwa for a while? I need to use the bathroom.”</p><p>“Sure,” he took Miwa from Hanbin.</p><p>“Also please stop having wine, remember this Sunday is your turn to wake up if Miwa’s hungry.” Hanbin smiles again while taking the half-full wine glass from Jiwon’s hand and finished it in one go.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Mom:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Miwa’s birthday next month, are you planning on having party for her?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Hanbin:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Yes, should I celebrate it in Créma?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Mom:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>What’s Créma? </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Hanbin</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>The club where I’m working.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Mom:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Yes, celebrate it there and you’ll end up in the place where Jiwon’s working.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Hanbin: </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Hospital?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Mom:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Yup. Because I’m gonna find you and kick your ass.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin laughing while sipping his coffee. Just a second later, he has put down his cellphone because Miwa is crying. He swoop her from the crib and hold it with one hand, almost three weeks and he’s a pro in lifting Miwa while making her milk.</p><p>“Miwa, Miwa, baby, why don’t you eat anything beside fruit?” he sighs, Hanbin read some articles, they gave a lot of baby food recipe and so far, Miwa accept only fruits and her favorites are banana, yes, only banana.</p><p> </p><p>Then he found herself infront of Lisa’s door, she got a three years old boy, she must be know how to handle a baby.</p><p>“Hey you…” she welcomed him with a big smile, “hello Miwa…” she played her fingers, dancing it in front of Miwa and Miwa gave herself up to Lisa, she jumped to her embrace and giggling while Lisa juggle her.</p><p>Hanbin smile, but inside he kind of jealous how Miwa laughing loudly.</p><p>“So… how can I help you, Hanbin?” Lisa put Miwa on the floor. “oh wait, I’m gonna call Jisoo.”</p><p>She disappear into her room and came back with cellphone on her ear, “unnie, Hanbin is in my unit, come here…”</p><p>She thinks it’s a some kind of housewives gathering or what?</p><p>
  <em>Does she thinks I’m the housewife?? And Jiwon is the working dad? Nu-uh, nu-uh.</em>
</p><p>The bell rang and Lisa ran to get it while Hanbin watch Ezra trying to squeeze Miwa’s cheek.</p><p>“Hello girls…” she paused, “and Hanbin.” She nodded.</p><p>Hanbin politely nod.</p><p>“Hanbin texted me, said that she needs my help regarding of Miwa’s eating habit.” Lisa briefly explained to Jisoo.</p><p>“She only eats banana.”</p><p>“What? But Miwa is almost 12 months old, isn’t she?”</p><p>Hanbin nodded.</p><p>“She should’ve eat something with texture.” Lisa takes Miwa and check her mouth, “hey do you know how many teeth Miwa has?”</p><p>“Miwa has tooth??” Hanbin surprised.</p><p>“Of course! Even Haru has two already.” Jisoo prompt.</p><p>“But he is only 5 months old!”</p><p>“Hey hey, look, she got four primary teeth.” Lisa expertly open Miwa’s mouth, “maybe she’s teething somewhere, you know that process is not very comfortable, she might losing appetite during the teething.”</p><p>“But don’t spoil her, you have to keep giving her foods with texture, chunk of watermelon, rock melon… or try tofu, and homemade chicken meat balls.”</p><p>Hanbin doesn’t really follow the language they use. He could talk about music, about new songs in chart, about the BPM of his new song, but these? These all are so foreign.</p><p>Suddenly his cellphone rang. Jiwon’s name appeared.</p><p>“Hey husband calling.” Jisoo nudge him.</p><p>Something about the word still making him giddy, he would never get used to the cringe.</p><p>“Hello.”</p><p><em>“Bin, I have a general meeting after my shift.”</em> He said, right to the point. Well what would he expect? A ‘hey, what are you doing? Have you eaten?’.</p><p>“Oh, okay.” He replied, “What time are you gonna be home?”</p><p>
  <em>“I don’t know, the meeting starts at 4, maybe it ended before 7, I’d be home for dinner.”</em>
</p><p>“Cool. Just buy something, you know, for dinner.” They’ve been doing it everyday, nobody know how to cook except when they tried to make food for Miwa, they kind of relieved Miwa hates it, it reduce the chance of poisoning her with a un-edible food.</p><p>
  <em>“Okay, anything you wanna eat?”</em>
</p><p>“Yeah, uh, I don’t know.” He said, “I can reheat the chicken from last night.”</p><p><em>“Ok, cool.”</em> Jiwon then hung up the phone.</p><p>“You never cook at home?” Jisoo asked after Hanbin put own his cellphone.</p><p>“Erm, nope.”</p><p>“Like, seriously??” Lisa gasped.</p><p>“We don’t know how to cook.” Hanbin shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>“Oh my Gosh… boys…” Lisa rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Hey, Yun’s a good cook!” Jisoo exclaimed. “he’s the chef of the noodle restaurant down the street.” He told Hanbin.</p><p>“I see…” Hanbin murmured, mentally taking note that there’s a noodle shop down the street.</p><p>“Hey what time Jiwon’s be home?” Lisa asked.</p><p>“Uh, dinner time?”</p><p>“Let’s have grocery date!” Lisa stood, “I’ll show you what to buy and let’s stop by at your unit, I’ll teach you how to make chicken meat ball and steamed tofu for Miwa.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>This is weird, Hanbin in his black adidas tracksuit, baby carrier in his front with Miwa in it, walking with two young moms one is Jisoo with a baby carrier like Hanbin’s, and on his other side is Lisa pushing trolley with Ezra inside.</p><p>He pushes a trolley his own trolley, and Jisoo only with small basket. Yun is the one responsible for groceries, she said. Yun seems to know about the kitchen more than Jisoo.</p><p>“Babies loves this product.” Lisa show a baby snack puff, “oh they have tester, here Miwa try it!”</p><p>“Wait Lisa!” Hanbin a little taken aback when Lisa shove the puffy snack to Miwa.</p><p>“It’s okay… it’s okay…” she feed Miwa with several flavor and Miwa didn’t refuse the banana flavor (okay, Miwa you have some attitude there.), and the blueberry-yam. So Hanbin took the yellow and purple pack.</p><p>They continue to the other aisle and it’s amazing how people, men and women, are looking at him. Some of them are even staring blatantly, like when he’s picking up fruits for him while wondering if he should buy some fruits for</p><p>Jiwon, and there’s a woman across the fruit section eyeing him, and when he’s staring back, she’s smiling at him.</p><p>
  <em>Does men with babies is hotter? Why does women seems to like it a lot?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh. Hot young daddy, huh?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Wow.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon is home at 7 pm sharp, he understood that he should have shower first before snuggling into Miwa, but he’s too tired and lazy… and strangely missing Miwa’s smell, the baby smell plus a soft smell of cinnamon and rosemary from Hanbin’s mom essential oils that she said very good for baby.</p><p>She said Hanbin and Haneul used to use those essentials oil too, and Jiwon believe even though Hanbin stop using the essential oil, he must get used to the smell of cinnamon and rosemary because Hanbin’s shower gel and shampoo smells like cinnamon and some herbs (Hanbin said it’s oregano oil, while Jiwon only know oregano is something you put on pasta)</p><p>“Jiwon, you want me to reheat dinner for you?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“The chicken?”</p><p>“No, Lisa taught me to cook some simple food, we made kimchi jiggae.”</p><p>Jiwon sit square, “do we have rice?” he asked enthusiastically.</p><p>“Yeah, we do.”</p><p>“Then yes,” he smiles widely, “please.”</p><p>Hanbin abruptly feel bad for him,</p><p>
  <em>how much he misses home cook?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He probably never had a proper home cook because he basically an orphan and his sister’s married.</em>
</p><p>“Did Jian nuna a good cook?” Hanbin blurted. <em>Oh no. </em>he shouldn’t brought up any topic about their siblings. It might still be a sensitive topic for Jiwon, right? Who knows?</p><p>“Nope.” He shook his head while help Miwa wearing her socks after she had several attempts to chew it, he doesn’t seem bothered with he question. It’s a relieved.</p><p>“Okay then I can relax because even if I fail this jiggae, you don’t have comparison.”</p><p>“Well, the cafeteria in the hospital has a phenomenal jiggae, sooo…” Jiwon stood up with Miwa on his arm. “what’s that?” he pointed at the food in a pan next to the stove.</p><p>“That’s… steamed tofu and chicken meat ball.” Hanbin said, “Miwa’s meal.”</p><p>“She like sit?”</p><p>“I haven’t give it to her… I finished cook it when Miwa’s sleeping and she woke up just before you arrived.”</p><p>“Wanna try feed her those?” Jiwon asked.</p><p>“I don’t know… Lisa said Miwa lost her appetite because she’s teething now.”</p><p>“What’s teething?”</p><p>“Miwa has four teeth, you know.”</p><p>“W-what?? Where? She’s still toothless…” Jiwon sure he saw her still toothless when she laughed.</p><p>“Primary teeth not always in front, but you can actually see one tooth at the front bellow,” he stood just in front of Jiwon and hold Miwa’s small chin, he slightly slide it down, “see? See that?” he lift his head and his face just few inches from Jiwon. He immediately took a step back, “s-see that? Did you see…”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, it’s amazing.” Jiwon chuckled.</p><p>Hanbin doesn’t know if Jiwon’s chuckling out of awkwardness, or it’s just him alone who feel awkward.</p><p>“Bin the jiggae—“</p><p>“Oh right!” he turned around and bolting towards the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Miwa likes the tofu, she hates the chicken, so Hanbin decided that Miwa is probably vegan. It’s the third day Hanbin cooked steamed tofu for Miwa. She officially on a temporary break up with banana (it changed into other fruits advised by Lisa, her current obsession is rock melon) but the little princess is still craving attention from the snack puff every now and then. Hanbin also realized that she ate more if he set the plate on her baby chair’s table so she can eat on her own.</p><p>It’s messy and the OCD in him disagree with how Miwa ate her fist more than she put the actual food in her mouth, but it’s better than keep giving her baby formula.</p><p>He received message from Won says that he’ll perform on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. He’s very excited that he’ll perform three days in a row, he needs new mixings.</p><p>Hanbin made sure Miwa is full and sleepy, he play the lullaby songs from her small music box, dim the room light and carefully put her inside her crib then he tiptoeing to the guest room, turning on his laptop, wearing his headphones and make sure the baby camera in right beside him so he will know if Miwa is awake.</p><p>Hanbin bought some tunes and with the virtual mixer he compose a totally new sound. He got a complete mixer set in his small flat, though the tools is not the best, just the compact small one but he loves it, the tools already produce hundred tunes loved by all the partygoers out there. His body moves in a light wave along with the beat, he clicked here and there, dropping effects. He clicked the music store web again, choosing songs, listen to them one by one, there’s a comical beat, some kind of murder song, a lot love song kind of tunes, happy beat, and there’s a summer tunes that strangely remind him of Jiwon, is it from the cologne he use? Hanbin doesn’t know what is his perfume, but Jiwon smell like the summer, like the cocktails at the bar on the beach, like his new favorite cocktail in Créma.</p><p>Last week, Hanbin explained to Vince, the bartender in Créma that he suddenly wants a cocktail that is very fresh, mixture of earl grey as the base, and he wants vodka in it, give a little sparks from soda maybe? And the freshness of cucumber. Vince gave the color of sunset from hibiscus extract. When Vince gave him his drink, Hanbin scoffed, the drink taste like Jiwon’s smell. He then helped Vince name the drink, its the summer sunset.</p><p>Silly smirk appear on his lips when he click buy to the summer tunes, he choose other sound to add on the tunes and saved it under a folder named: cocktail.</p><p>WHACK!</p><p>Suddenly someone harshly snatched his headphone away, he jolted, gasping sharply. Hanbin stumbley stood from the chair, agitated of what just happened, then he saw Jiwon, with crying Miwa on his arm. Air disappear from his chest, words are stuck, he frantically looking at the baby monitor. It’s on. But he was too immersed on his work. Too immersed choosing songs. Too immersed thinking about someone he shouldn’t care. Thinking about Jiwon.</p><p>“What the fuck you’re thinking???” Jiwon barked, “wearing headphones with that volume while alone with a baby at home???”</p><p>The music still leaking from the abandoned headphones.</p><p>Hanbin’s eyes dilated, pupil shaking because now he doesn’t know if Miwa is crying from being ignore when she woke up or because Jiwon is screaming like a mad man.</p><p>“What if I didn’t come home on time??? You gonna let her sleep her exhaustion of screaming asking for your presence?? Is this how you watch her everyday while I’m working? For fucks sake Hanbin I let you know everything she does when you’re working!! I fucking texted you all the time!!”</p><p>Hanbin wanted to defend himself, he wanted to shout back, he don’t deserves this screaming. But he couldn’t find any words. Only guilt when he saw Miwa’s eyes still wet.</p><p>Hanbin exhales before he spoke, “Jiwon, you can be angry all you want, but… we should never argue in front of a kid.” took his hoodie and leave.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin sat on the bench in a small park inside the building complex, he rubbed his face several times, groaning his frustration away. Jiwon should leave Miwa in another room, he shouldn’t yell in front of Miwa, it’s traumatized for kids, that’s what the journal said.</p><p>Hanbin’s clenched his fists, it’s trembling from various kind of emotion.</p><p><em>And Jiwon cursed!</em> He shouldn’t cursed in front of Miwa. What happened to his own rule that prohibiting Hanbin from swearing? Why does it very easy for Jiwon to swear in front of his face when there’s Miwa in his arm?</p><p>“Hanbin?”</p><p>He lift his head and saw Jinhwan, “oh, hello.” He nodded.</p><p>“May I?” he pointed at the empty space beside him.</p><p>Hanbin had no choice but to nod.</p><p>“Are you exercising too?” he asked, Jinhwan looked like he just finished running.</p><p>“Uh, not really, just need a fresh air.”</p><p>“Oh, I see.” Jinhwan smiles.”anyway, I saw Jiwon get off from the bus when I start running and saw you here when I finished running, you good?”</p><p>Hanbin turned to see his face, “yeah, yeah, I’m good, Jiwon too, we’re good.”</p><p>Jinhwan mouthing ‘okay then…’ then he said, “Jiwon’s a doctor? Because I saw he’s wearing the employee tag of Seoul Hospital.”</p><p>“No, he’s a pharmacist.” Hanbin smiles.</p><p>“And you? What you do for living? Are you some kind of housedad?”</p><p>“No,” Hanbin answer it quickly, he’s not fucking house dad who only spent his days cleaning and cooking and waiting for Jiwon to be home, “I’m a musician.”</p><p>“Oh, wow… I really didn’t expect that.” Jinhwan propped his chin with his forearm.</p><p>“I’m a DJ… in Créma.”</p><p>“For real?? I know Créma! It’s next to Blue Republique, right? Those two are like the hypest! I went there often…” her voice a pitch high and funny.</p><p>“How come you don’t recognised me?” Hanbin tilt his head.</p><p>“Hm.. always drunk, that’s the problem.” Jinhwan giggles.</p><p>Hanbin chuckled too, “I’ll play this weekend.”</p><p>“Can I go? I wanna go!” the small guy is so cheerful it lifts Hanbin’s mood a bit, “tells Jiwon to go too!”</p><p>“He can’t… we have Miwa, remember?”</p><p>“Just asked Lisa to watch her, Lisa watch Miwa a lot whenever Haneul and Jian go on a date.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>Jinhwan nodded.</p><p>Hanbin paused, remembering the argument with Jiwon just now, “Jiwon… uh he doesn’t like to go to club. But I’ll ask him later.” He smiles although Hanbin doesn’t know if Jiwon likes to go to the club or not, but he smiles anyway., “well, it’s a nice chat, Jinhwan, but I have to get back up.”</p><p>“Cool, see you this weekend.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin found Jiwon sat on the carpeted floor with Miwa standing beside him, she’s all wiggly while holding tight to the couch and her free hand holding a teether.</p><p>Hanbin took the remote control, play a cartoon about five colorful monster singing and dancing, put Miwa inside the baby fence, load her with toys and all, then open the guest room door.</p><p>“Jiwon, can we talk?”</p><p>Jiwon who watched him since he got back from downstairs to calm his mind is amused of how Hanbin is very quick in doing all of those things. “okay.” He shortly replied.</p><p>The guest room door is obviously open for them to be able to see Miwa, but separated enough from the baby to see them in case they end up killing each other.</p><p>Hanbin stood in front of Jiwon, hands folded in front of his chest. His in full defense mode, Jiwon thought.</p><p>But the first thing came from his mouth was, “I’m sorry.”</p><p>Jiwon didn’t say anything unknowingly his eyes swift from looking at Hanbin to looking at the window behind him.</p><p>“It was the first time it happened, the first time I’m working with my headphone on, usually I used an earpod, just one earpod, but today is different because I’m about to compose new song… I have three gigs this weekend.”</p><p>“Oh…” Jiwon replied.</p><p>“That is okay, right? That I will work on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday?”</p><p>Jiwon put his hands on his trousers pocket, “yeah, I guess?”</p><p>Hanbin took a deep breath, “I never neglected her.” He said, voice barely above whisper, like afraid if he increase the volume Jiwon would hear the crack in it, Hanbin is trying not to cry right now.</p><p>In his 25 years of living never for once Jiwon imagine standing in a situation like this. Let alone the responsibility of having Miwa, but to feel the rage like he felt when he opened the front door and all he heard was Miwa screaming, crying inside her crib, all he could think is what happened to Hanbin? Every horrible scenarios flashing inside his mind, he swore he could mentally see Hanbin hurt himself and unconscious somewhere in the house, maybe in the bathroom. Or worse, what if Hanbin realized he couldn’t do it and leave him and Miwa? Either way he was panic. He swoop Miwa from the crib and start scanning the house. There was a bizarre mixed feelings when he saw Hanbin in the guest room, sitting in front of his laptop with headphones on. He was so angry, but there’s a hint of relieve that he’s still here.</p><p>“Hey, look,” Jiwon said, hands still inside the pocket, “I—I saw the journal,”</p><p>Hanbin creased his eyebrows, “what?”</p><p>“The one about not arguing in front of the kid… I read it just now, I know you sent me that few days a go, I guess? But I admit it I didn’t read it. I read it just now.”</p><p>Hanbin’s mouth forming ‘oh’</p><p>“I yelled right in front of Miwa’s face, yelled at you,”</p><p>“It’s okay.”</p><p>“No! It’s not okay because you are someone who is very close to her right now… I shouldn’t do that because we have to show her how much we have faith and affectionate towards each other so Miwa will trust us.” Jiwon inhaled, “I realized I just blew out attempt to make her trust us… and it was my fault.”</p><p>“Well, I left her crying…” Hanbin shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>“Crying is good for her heart, and leaving her crying for hours will not leaving any colateral damage like yelling to each other anywhere near her.” Jiwon said.</p><p>Hanbin gazing at his slippers, hands still folded in front of her chest.</p><p>“And… I was swearing.”</p><p>Hanbin lift his head, then he sighed, “Yes you were.”</p><p>Jiwon pull out his hands and curl it on his head, between his hair, “urgh!! You should’ve stop me, Bin…” he harshly rubbed his face, “I feel like a trash!” his knees gave up, he squating while still drowning his face between is forearms.</p><p>Hanbin immediately follow him, kneeling in front of him.</p><p>“Hey, hey, Jiwon, it’s okay.” He patted his shoulder, “Jiwon, we’re new in this, it hasn’t been a month… it’s okay.”</p><p>Jiwon took a sharp breath, “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Have you said it to Miwa?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Apologize. Apologize to her.”</p><p>“Oh,” he paused, “no I haven’t.”</p><p>“We both made mistake and Miwa was the victim, we should apologize to her.” Hanbin said, “come on.”</p><p>They hear Miwa is giggling, probably her favorite monster is singing happy birthday for the tenth times.</p><p>“Come on, let’s apologize to her, we might lucky because I think she’s in a good mood now.”</p><p>Jiwon laugh at his attempt to make a light joke.</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon took Miwa from the baby fence, and she immediately curled up her little fist on his shirt, the Jiwon placed her right in front of him and Hanbin. Miwa look up to see both men back and forth and then grinning. “waaa..” she mumbled.</p><p>“Miwa, I’m sorry for yelling and swearing,” Jiwon said, “I promised you that’d never happened again, I swear, and please don’t tell anyone about it.” He turned his head to Hanbin, “your turn.”</p><p>“Miwa… I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you crying, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t be so reckless that now I’m not living alone anymore, there’s you here now.”</p><p>“Waaawa…” Miwa mumbled again, trying to eat her toes and that caused her slowly falling to the side. There’s a slight panic on her face but then Jiwon catch her.</p><p>“Don’t worry I’m here,” he paused, “we’re her. We’ll always be here for you. To catch you whenever you fall.”</p><p>Entering the third week with Miwa is not as easy as it seems. It cost the boys their first fight. But at least Miwa started to mumbled word, not only cooing.</p><p> </p><p>-</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>please leave you thoughts! i love reading it and interact with y'all! Do follow and say hi to me on twitter @bbindaeyo, or curious cat bbindaeyo.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Jiwon meet B.I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>which they went clubbing together and Jiwon see another side of his 'husband'</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i don't really use hyung/noona/unnie/oppa in the fic, just for some people with a huge age gap.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Jiwon punch the apartement code, took off his shoes carelessly, wear the white grey slippers, and threw the car keys somewhere above the shoe rack. Hanbin watch him slide the huge plastic bag with diapers, baby formula, yellow and purple snack puff in it.</p><p>“Unpack the snack please, this royale highness is gonna eat the empty pack soon.” Hanbin pointed at the poor purple pack covered with Miwa’s saliva. “After that please deal with your shoes, I’m not cleaning the house everyday just so you can do that every time you come home.”</p><p>“Oh, sorry.” He took the snack puff, “hey your highness, you want the banana or blueberry-yam?”</p><p>Miwa turned to see Jiwon and mumbled, “bayammnaa…”</p><p>“What? Banana or yam? There’s no bayamna, that’s cheating!” Jiwon slide near Miwa’s seater.</p><p>She giggles to the sudden snuggle.</p><p>Hanbin hates it, when he do that, Miwa will only cooed, but when Jiwon do that, she’ll laughing like there’s no tomorrow.</p><p>Jiwon open the banana and pour a bit in Miwa’s plate, “hey I met Jinhwan at the convenience store.”</p><p>“Oh, and?” Hanbin help Miwa eat the snack puff, he ate one for himself and still amused of how bland it taste.</p><p>“He asked me like this: so, how is it? Have you decided you join me to the Créma or not?” Jiwon also took one of the snack and eat it, “puhh! the H, Miwa, it taste so bad, why you like it?” Miwa still giggle watching Jiwon spitting the snack puff.</p><p>“Oh, right, I forgot to ask you… uh, Jinhwan said he wants to come to my gig, and he asked you to join.”</p><p>“What about Miwa?”</p><p>“He said Lisa would love to babysit Miwa, that happened everytime your sister and my brother is going on a date…” Hanbin said, “but I told Jihwan you hate clubs.”</p><p>Jiwon paused, “Do i?”</p><p>“Do you what?”</p><p>“Do I hate to go to a club?”</p><p>Hanbin shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know, but seems like you do.”</p><p>“I don’t.” Jiwon said, “you think I’m some kind of nerd who don’t do clubbings?”</p><p>Hanbin shook his head, “I don’t know, really, you could be the biggest party animal and I’d still say to Jinhwan you hate clubs because I don’t know you well.”</p><p>Hanbin got the point, both of them are only connected by Miwa. They’ve been living with each other for almost a month but they never really had a conversation about them.</p><p>“Well… if that’s the case.” He sat square, “I want to go, I mean, I think we both could use some day off, not that Miwa exhaust us—“</p><p>“She is.” Hanbin replied fast.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“She exhaust me sometimes. Oh my Gosh.. you have seven hours a day, five days a week doing something without Miwa in it. While me. Well, my job is in the middle of the night so, going to work or not Miwa is sleeping, but during the daylight, everyday.” Hanbin groans. “I’m sorry, Miwa, I love you, you know that. Just sometimes, if I’m thinking about my life before you, do you know what I did?? I slept all day!” Hanbin kissed her chubby cheek</p><p>Suddenly Jiwon burst in laughter.</p><p>Miwa startled like an innocent owl, she looks like cutest owl when she popped her eyes to Jiwon.</p><p>“What the…” Hanbin murmured.</p><p>Jiwon still elatedly laughing, “God, Hanbin, you’re—hahaha… you’re so cute! You should see yourself! Hahaha…”</p><p>“Oh shut up!” Hanbin rolled his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>_</p><p> </p><p>The gig is obviously in the middle of the night and neither Jiwon or Hanbin have the heart to ask Lisa knowing they will take Miwa back at least at 3 am, that wasn’t a polite hour to knock on your neighbor door. Lucky that mrs. Kim is in Seoul because she has an appointment to see a doctor, and to celebrate Miwa’s birthday. She arrived from Busan earlier today and more than happy to watch over Miwa. So, both boys left at 10 pm, Hanbin will be on the deck at 1 until 3 am.</p><p>It’s true that Jiwon never really enjoyed going to a club, he did went drinking with some co-workers, sometimes going to a club too, but he never make it a routine. They arrived in Itaewon around 10.30, but walking toward the club is another story, the street is packed, people are partying outside since the weather is good. Moreover, like Jihwan said, Créma and Blue Republique is two hypest club in Itaewon at the moment, it has a long queues only to get inside. Jiwon adjust his white shirt. Working in a hospital as a pharmacist doesn’t make him a suit and tie kind of person, he likes wearing hoodie, ripped jeans, oversized t-shirt, he just know where to wear it and where not to. Tonight he’s going in a ripped blue jeans and an oversized white shirt. Jiwon ubuttoned three utmost buttons, just enough to show his collarbone and a bit of his chest.</p><p>He peeked on Hanbin who wear a dark colored tight jeans, oversized tank top and stylist denim jacket. Maybe because Hanbin’s frame is slightly more slender than Jiwon, he looks really good in layered clothings.</p><p>Hanbin tried to cut the queues, some people reached him with a friendly greetings, Hanbin nod at them, gave one guy in the queue a high five while saying something Jiwon couldn’t hear.</p><p>“B.I!” a bouncer pats his back, Habin laughs.</p><p>
  <em>B.I?</em>
</p><p>“Hey, Baymax, I’m with a friend.” He gestured at Jiwon.</p><p>The big tall guy named Baymax observing at Jiwon from head to toe. Jiwon sure his looks is not embarassing at all, in fact, compared to some people there, Jiwon is above the average.</p><p>“Get in man, welcome to Créma!” Baymax patted Jiwoon’s back, well, it’s a little too hard for a pat actually. “B.I’s friend is my friend too!” his scary face is not match the friendliness.</p><p>Créma is pretty big for a night club, not huge but the first floor could accommodate around 300 people. There’s a huge void with enormous crystal ball hanging, more than 50 laser lights pointing randomly. Bar on the left side of the majestic DJ booth, there’s a huge ass sound system behind a high table with many tools in it, Jiwon couldn’t believe Hanbin skilled enough to use that complicated looking thing. The bass thumping in his ear, it’s not midnight yet, but there are a lot of people already, some are dancing, some lounging on the sofas, or just socializing at the bar area.</p><p>Jiwon squint to see the DJ in the booth now, he’s good looking, blonde thick hair, thick eyebrows, sharp nose, fine jawline. The huge LED creen behind him shows graphics and there’s a line of alphabetic dancing in green color: Ju-Ne, must be the DJ’s name.</p><p>Some people who know Hanbin (or B.I) greet him with an overfriendly gesture, Jiwon could see Hanbin doesn’t even recognize half of them, yet they still trying too hard making some random conversation though Hanbin didn’t stop walking towards the back area. Every once in awhile he’d check on Jiwon and his deed earn some stares from those people towards Jiwon.</p><p>They reached the back side of the club, the office, or maybe some kind of waiting room. There’s a mini coffee machine, a chiller with beers and sodas, and some liquors on the table.</p><p>“Take whatever you want, it’s a complimentary for me and other DJs.” Hanbin said.</p><p>Jiwon didn’t take anything until Hanbin open two bottles of beer and gave him one. “Hey, Bin, tomorrow is Miwa’s birthday.” He suddenly said.</p><p>“Right… my mom’s gonna cook the seaweed soup, but we have to go out to buy cakes, and do groceries because I want to cook something for Miwa.”</p><p>“Do we have to buy gift?”</p><p>Hanbin rubbed his jaw, “I don’t know, what a one year old baby need?”</p><p>“Pacifier? Shooter?” Jiwon shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>“Food only to be thrown away?”</p><p>They both laughing.</p><p>“Miwa’s a mess.” Jiwon giggles while shook his head hopelessly.</p><p>“Bin,” skinny guy, very good looking, peeked on the door, he startle dto see Jiwon, “oh you brought friend.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“So unusual, he must be special.” The skinny guy snickered.</p><p><em>Of course I’m special, we raised a baby together! What could be more commited than that?</em> Jiwon mentally scoffed.</p><p>Hanbin didn’t respond, just sipping his beer, and said, “Won this is Jiwon, Jiwon that’s my manager, Won. Geez your names too similar.”</p><p>Won sneered, “You’re up in 12.45, yeah?”</p><p>Hanbin nodded, he pull something from his collar, a necklace with a flash drive hanging, “my songs.”</p><p>Won took the flash drive and leave them again.</p><p>“I’ve texted Jinhwan, he said he’ll be here in 30 minutes.” Jiwon said.</p><p>“It’s okay, you can wait for him here… or do you want to go to the bar?”</p><p>Jiwon shrugged, “I can go there later with Jinhwan, I mean, you seemed pretty uncomfortable outside, people swarmed around you like some kind of celebrity.” His tone is teasing.</p><p>Hanbin chuckles, “That’s because I never really partying out there, kinda rare to see me except on the DJ booth… I spent most time here, well, sometimes upstairs at the VIP area to watch a guest DJ.”</p><p>“Hey, you know what, I thought the flash drive before is your necklace.”</p><p>“Uh, nope.” Hanbin went to the chiller looking for a mineral water.</p><p>“It’s actually nicer when you wear a necklace, now it’s a bit… plain.” Jiwon looking at Hanbin’s bare neck.</p><p>“Yeah, I forgot to bring a spare.”</p><p>“You can borrow mine, I wear two.” Jiwon said, pointing at his neck, there are two necklaces, both with cross pendant, the difference is the other one is a cross inside a gold square petal.</p><p>Hanbin seems hestitated but Jiwon convinced him.</p><p>“It’s okay, I bet it looks good on you. “ he reached the hook, “wait.”</p><p>The younger stepped forward, “I’ll help you.” He slide the hook to the front and trying to open it, “are you a religious peson?” he asked.</p><p>“Well… I prayed every now and then.” Jiwon murmured.</p><p>“Which one I should wear?”</p><p>“Take which ever.”</p><p>Suddenly the door open again. Jiwon stratled, the blonde DJ stood by the door, he looked surprised to see Hanbin and Jiwon standing very close to each other in the room enough for 20 people.</p><p>Hanbin turned his head and lightly greet him, “Hey Jun. you finished?”</p><p>“My songs still on but the MCs take over, they gonna present you in 5 minutes I guess.”</p><p>Then Hanbin just nodded, didn’t say anything and Hanbin didn’t introduce him like he did to Won before.</p><p>Junhoe staring at Jiwon, “You must be Jiwon, eh? The husband.” Junhoe went to the chiller and take one beer.</p><p>“The husband?” Jiwon step back when Hanbin succeeded taking the necklace off Jiwon’s neck.</p><p>“He knew the story, Ji, he’s my closest friend here, Junhoe.”</p><p>“Oh…” Jiwon nodded, he saw Hanbin struggle to wear the necklace, “here, let me help—“ but his phone rang, “oh sorry it’s Jinhwan.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, take it, “ he turned to Junhoe, “Jun, give me hand.”</p><p>Jiwon pick up the phone call, “Hello, Jinhwan, you’re here? Oh okay, okay, wait for me in the bar, I’ll be there. Okay, see you.” He hung up and turned to Hanbin, “I’ll be at the bar, good luck?”</p><p>Hanbin raise a thumb up, “thanks.”</p><p> </p><p>_</p><p> </p><p>“Heeeyy, Jiwon!” Jinhwan came with four other friends, they have a sofa near the bar. Jiwon being introduced to the two guys who are twins, Donny and Deuk. And two girls Yeon and Hyesun, seems like the five had been drinking a bit.</p><p>“I never knew you have friend this hot!” Yeon said and then laughing with the other.</p><p>“True!” Hyesun nodded, “Jin likes to hide his hot friends just for himself.”</p><p>“No, no,” Jihnwan raised his index finger, “this one’s taken!”</p><p>“By who? By you?!” Hyesun squint her eyes.</p><p>“Nope, unfortunately no.”</p><p>“Well, he’s alone here in our table, so…” Yeon sit next to Jiwon, “may sit here?”</p><p>Jiwon raised his eyebrows, Jinhwan shrugs one shoulder while tilting his glass, like saying ‘you can do whatever you want and I won’t say anything you your husband’. Not like Jiwon is actually married. He needs to lose it sometimes, even though he doesn’t like girls who throw themselves to guys in the club but he surely missed the thrill and everything. A month of playing dad tugs every strains in him to the edge.</p><p>They ordered few bottles of liquor and right when they rise their glasses for a cheers, there’s a faint pulsing drum before it was smashed by a smooth deep house, making the crowd chill a little, and then slowly music getting harder and harder and feels like a curtain burn, a spotlight dropped to a figure. The LED behind showing two characters zooming in and out, B.I. The denim jacket’s gone, only in dark coloured sleeveless t-shirt, headphones hugged his neck, eyes hooded, concentrated to the laptop, and one loud thud, he lift his gaze and looking at the crowd, cocky smirk is visible, made his high cheekbone forming a triangle shaped shadow. He lowered himself for a small thin microphone installed at the end of second deck;</p><p>“Hey Ladies, good evening.” His voice clear but the way he only greet the females sounds so dirty.</p><p>The girls screaming like crazy, and Jiwon found himself scoffing. And the next second, he was startled at his own action. Why would he scoffed when Hanbin called the ladies? He could be straight, or not, or both. These husband role is just a role.</p><p>“That’s! that’s B.I!” Hyesun tugged one of the twin’s shirt, maybe Deuk, “fucking hot!”</p><p>“Yeah, agree.” Deuk nodded.</p><p>Jinhwan shift closer to Jiwon, “I know why you marry him.” He said it softly just enough for Jiwon to hear, “he looked so hot on stage.”</p><p>Jiwon has this lopsided smirk, couldn’t deny it that part of him is proud that he lives with that guy behind the DJ booth, who worshiped by hundred of people here. He hears how Yeon and Hyesun keep on giggling and whispering to each other how they would like to be in bed with him.</p><p>
  <em>Geez, do girls really talk about something like that?</em>
</p><p>He took another big gulp of the vodka cranberry in his hand.</p><p>Hanbin’s DJ set is for two hours, and the deeper the night, the groovier Hanbin’s music, it’s not all about dropping bass but he mixed it with some deep house, a funky tunes. He really is playing with the audience.</p><p><em>He’s good</em>. Jiwon smiles. His head feels lighter, maybe he’s a little drunk, well he’s still sober enough to make a light conversation with Jinhwan and his friends, but drunk enough to enjoying the music with a light sway and body moves.</p><p>“Last song,” Hanbin’s voice heard again with a cracked chuckles, then an intro came, a light constant melody with a hint of clinking glass, guitar and claps, “something to remind you of summer. Got inspired, and made this song recently, to enjoy with the newest cocktail created by me and Vince at the bar. WHADUUP VIIINCE??” he raised his hand to Vince in the bar, and crowd cheering as the bar put up a little extreme juggling show. “This song called cocktail, ladies and gentlemen, and the drink called summer sunset. I love it.”</p><p>Jiwon swore Hanbin met his eyes for a split second before he murmured, “thank you for the inspiration, EVERYBODY!!” then he played a rich drops which made the crowd jumping.</p><p>“Let’s order that drink! Let’s order summer sunset!” the two girls getting excited just because Hanbin said he create the cocktail with the bartender.</p><p>“You want one?” Hyesun asked with her hand touching the side of his waist.</p><p>
  <em>Why’s everybody so touchy in this table?</em>
</p><p>“Yeah, sure, why not.” Jiwon nodded.</p><p> </p><p>It takes another minutes before Hanbin is completely disappeared from the deck. Jiwon wondering if he should go to the backstage again to find him and go home, or just waiting for him here. He decided to wait for Hanbin to contact him. But then he saw Hanbin appeared from a door behind the bar, walking towards Jiwon’s table with all smiley, Jiwon never saw that smile before. Maybe he hasn’t saw many sides of Hanbin.</p><p>“Jinhwan you really came.” Hanbin smile when Jihwan waving at him.</p><p>Yeon and Hyesun’s faces are priceless, even the twins also smiling wide to know they catch the privillege of getting the chance to share table with B.I.</p><p>“See I’m not bluffing when I told you I know him.” Jinhwan laughs.</p><p>“Hello,” Hanbin greet them all. “I’m B.I, just call me Hanbin if you want, be comfortable.” Jiwon surprised by his warmth, he really is an entertainment people. Full of hospitality in his voice.</p><p>Yeon, Hyesun and the twins introduced themselves and Jiwon feels they somehow looking at him, waiting for him to, maybe, introduce himself too. And let’s blame to the euphoric effect of the drinks he drank, or the over-proudness to see Hanbin on stage, or the nature of people who likes to know they win a competition by claiming the prize to show other people that the one wanted by many is yours.</p><p>Instinctively he swoop Hanbin by his waist and pressed his lips on the side of the younger’s temple, “great stage you had.” He whispers.</p><p>And there, Hanbin’s heart skip a beat. He could smell the alcohol in Jiwon’s breath but he doesn’t seems drunk. Why did he do that? Oh maybe because Jinhwan is here. But, was it necessary? <em>Don’t think too much, Hanbin!</em></p><p>Just a second before Jiwon think that maybe he was too much, Hanbin turned and his lips formed a smile, “thanks.”</p><p><em>He doesn’t mind</em>. Jiwon relieved.</p><p>Jinhwan’s friends looked surprised.</p><p>“Oh, you guys together?” Deuk asked.</p><p>Jiwon smirked, “yeah.”</p><p>“How cute.” Yeon said, even though she seems a little embarrassed for her attempt to flirt with Jiwon before.</p><p>“They’re not only together.” Jinhwan prompt, “they’re married.”</p><p>“Really?” Hyesun can’t help but move her eyes towards the couple’s hand.</p><p>“Oh you looking for the ring?” Hanbin asked, “we rarely wear it, I mean..” he chuckles, “who wears such a thing nowadays?”</p><p>“Uh, every married couple?” Jiwon replied, then playfully rolled his eyes, “he refuse to wear it.” He plays along.</p><p>“But you got a nice couple necklace there.” Donny pointed at the necklace.</p><p>“Oh… this…” Hanbin paused, he’s still wearing Jiwon’s necklace, he threw a quick glance towards the older, he’s still wearing that smile, “one has to identify their partner, aren’t they?”</p><p>They laughed.</p><p>“Hey I saw you all order the new cocktail, how’s it?”</p><p>“Fresh! Earl grey and cucumber, smart!” Jinhwan raised his glass, “and the color…”</p><p>Jiwon creased his eyebows, <em>earl greay and cucumber?</em> He feels like he’s familiar with the combination but he couldn’t remember.</p><p>“From hibiscus.” Hanbin said.</p><p>“Beautiful.” Jinhwan sip it.</p><p>“You tried them?” Hanbin asked Jiwon.</p><p>He nodded and pointing at a glass on the table.</p><p>“That’s yours?”</p><p>He nodded again, and Hanbin took it and sip it.</p><p>“A-OK! I’ve to be sober because seems like Jiwon’s too drunk to drive.” Hanbin let out a crisps laughter, “and.. I think we should go home, shall we?” he turned to Jiwon.</p><p>“Alright…”</p><p>“Oh come on… party with us.” Yeon pouts.</p><p>“They can’t they have a baby at home, a daughter.”</p><p>“Whaaaat…” the girls put a face of soft hearted people expression when they see a cute cat videos. “Oh my God… can you two stop being so handsome, hot, cute but taken?”</p><p>They’re all laugh before Jiwon and Hanbin bid themselves goodbye.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>it was another problem when they got home and found that mrs. Kim is sleeping with Miwa in the guest room. Jiwon knew Hanbin is disagree with Miwa sleeping on the bed due to the independence lesson whatsoever, but the problem is not that, it’s that Hanbin and Jiwon has no place to sleep.</p><p>Worse is that he couch is full with boxes and clothes, seems like mrs. Kim is re-arranging Haneul and Jian’s storage or closets.</p><p>Both sighing frustratingly.</p><p>“Would you help me get rid of the boxes so I can sleep on the couch?” Jiwon asked, “You can take the main bedroom.”</p><p>“Oh, fuck it, Jiwon, I’m so sleepy and tired, we both can sleep in the bedroom, it’s okay.” Hanbin groans and left to the bedroom, he strips down, leaving his boxer and the t-shirt on, and fall face first to the bed.</p><p>Jiwon is half drunk and sleepy, he also have no idea how to get rid of the boxes without making it more messy than it already is, so he followed Hanbin, he took off his shirt and jeans, leaving him only in his boxer and slip into the comfy duvet beside Hanbin.</p><p>They both fell asleep right away without saying a word even though it bothers Hanbin that Miwa is not in her crib right now, that she’s sleeping on the bed with mrs. Kim, and it against his rule, she need her early independence lesson—suddenly he was half awaken because Jiwon kicked him, then the older snuggle closer, Hanbin was so sleepy so he didn’t bother to push him away because Jiwon’s weight is somehow… comfortable and peaceful. Hanbin fell asleep with a thought, maybe Miwa found peace too while sleeping next to her grandma. And in this fifth week with Miwa, Hanbin learned that independencies could start later.</p><p> </p><p>-</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>feel free to add me on twitter @bbindaeyo, let's interact! or ask me question on curious cat @bbindaeyo</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Miwa's birthday</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>when they bicker... at the cake shop</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Hanbin, Jiwon, wake up,” mrs. Kim’s voice faintly heard, “Mr. Jung is here.”</p><p>Hanbin opened his eyes slowly, the sun rays at the window tells him that today is a bright new day. He’s blinking few times before twist his head and found Jiwon at the other side of the bed still sleeping with his back on the younger.</p><p>Hanbin saw a tattoo, a circle typography tattoo.</p><p>“Fear only God… hate only sins…” he murmured, the he scoffed. “Jiwon! Wake up! The social affair officer is here.”</p><p>He got a groan in return.</p><p>Hanbin jumped off the bed and get into the bathroom, he took a quick shower before wearing the pants from last night. He’s looking at how clothes are scattered on the floor, and how he grabbed same clothes also from last night made him giddy. It looks like he’s in a one night stand.</p><p>With Jiwon.</p><p>“No, no,” he shook his head.</p><p>“What no no?” Jiwon sat up, hands rubbing his eyes and his voice sluggish.</p><p>“You still hasn’t woke up while mr. Jung’s outside is a no no!” Hanbin took any t-shirt from Haneul’s closet, “hyung, I’ll give it back soon.” He talked to no one.</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin greet mr. Jung who is sitting in the couch with his documents, accompanied by mrs. Kim and Miwa. The boxes and messy clothes from last night is nowhere to be seen, mrs. Kim must be taking care of it early in the morning before everyone woke up.</p><p>“Good morning,” Hanbin bowed, “I’m sorry, I’m usually a morning person, but I’m working last night, so…”</p><p>“Yes, mrs. Kim told me that you and your husband went out last night.” Mr. Jung smiles, “it’s fine, very fine, a couple needs a date night every now and then, right?”</p><p>Hanbin smiles. “fancy some teas, mr. Jung?”</p><p>“Oh call me Chanwoo, and a tea sounds very good.”</p><p>Jiwon went out from the room, the main bed room. Great they looked very natural like they sleep in the same bed every night, at least it’s good for their impression to the social affair worker. Hanbin saw Jiwon in last night jeans and t-shirt that Hanbin knew is not his, he also borrowing Haneul’s clothes.</p><p>“Morning, Mr. Jung.” Jiwon nod.</p><p>“Call me Chanwoo, mr. Kim Jiwon.”</p><p>“Call me Jiwon, then.” Jiwon grinned. “sorry we’re going out ‘till late last night…”</p><p>Chanwoo nodded, he’s been hearing this few times this morning, “yes, I heard so.” He turned to Hanbin who still busy brewing tea then turn to Jiwon again, “so, when did you two go out last night?”</p><p>Jiwon hates that Chanwoo is looking at him, like expecting him to answer, he don’t know if he should tell him the truth or just making up some date night out story. He’s bad at both. But he remembers how Hanbin told the neighbor about their agitation in raising Miwa, he was honest but not revealing.</p><p>“Hanbin’s a DJ, you know that, Chanwoo?”</p><p>Chanwoo shook his head, “no, I don’t, but that’s very interesting.”</p><p>“It is, he’s working on weekend, at night, and fully home during the day while I’m working.”</p><p>“Great combination.” Chanwoo commented.</p><p>“Yup, but last night, as usual, Hanbin got a gig, and—“</p><p>“Since I’m here and able to watch Miwa, I told Jiwon he can go out with Hanbin.” Mrs. Kim prompt.</p><p>“Yup.” Jiwon smiles.</p><p>Hanbin came with a tray filled with four cups of tea, “mom, your tea is this one, no sugar.” He pointed at a different cup.</p><p>“Thank you.” Mrs. Kim said.</p><p>“Uh, Bin…” Jiwon about to say something but he hesitated and instead he didn’t say anything.</p><p>“What? What’s wrong?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“Uh, nothing, thanks for the tea… but I forgot to tell you that I kind of want a coffee… sorry.”</p><p>Hanbin rolled his eyes.</p><p>“I’ll make one for myself, don’t worry.” Jiwon went to the kitchen and take a small cup for an espresso. He actually prefer tea, but Hanbin only made one tea without sugar and that’s for mrs. Kim while Jiwon avoiding sugar to. But that will be awkward if Hanbin didn’t know that in front of Chanwoo, so he lied.</p><p>Chanwoo sips his tea and said, “I’m gonna be here observing a bit, just do your daily activity, I know it’s hard with me watching but really, don’t mind me.”</p><p>It’s awkward, because now mrs. Kim went to the guest room to take shower, and Jiwon and Hanbin doesn’t really know how they spent days. It’s hard to do it when you’re being observed, nothing natural is coming.</p><p>Hanbin decided to sit on the carpeted floor and fold Miwa’s onesies. And Jiwon decided to stay in the kitchen, only to avoid a conversation, he knew any conversation could be awkward or stiff.</p><p>“Oh, I should take this.” Chanwoo waved his ringing cellphone, “may I use the balcony?”</p><p>Hanbin nodded. “Of course.”</p><p>Jiwon squat in front of the opened fridge to see what they have. Tofu, tofu, tofu, broccoli, banana…</p><p>“Bin, you shouldn’t put banana in the fridge, it’ll bruise.”</p><p>Hanbin lift his head, “oh, really? Ah… that’s why it’s getting brownish really fast.”</p><p>Jiwon took the bananas, “I don’t think Miwa should eat this.”</p><p>“It’s ruined?”</p><p>Jiwon shook his head, “but not fresh either.” He said, “hey you want a pancake? Banana pancake.”</p><p>“You can make it?”</p><p>He nodded, “yeah, i think we have the instant pancake mix somewhere.”</p><p>“On the second shelf,” Hanbin said, “no, not that one, from the left! Yup!”</p><p>Jiwon made the pancake really quick, it’s actually easy recipe, he just need to smashed the banana in a bowl, pour it with the pancake mix, add some milks, and the dough is ready. Jiwon put a stack of pancake on a plate and approaching Hanbin who still sitting on the carpeted floor.</p><p>“He’s still on the phone?” Jiwon seamlessly pointing at mr. Jung.</p><p>Hanbin nodded.</p><p>“Here, your breakfast.” Jiwon shoved the plate on the small table near the younger. He was about to stab some of the fluffy warm cake when Miwa whines and crawl towards Hanbin, “You sleepy? Really? It’s only 10 in the morning.”</p><p>Hanbin let her clinging on his lap, lazed around while yawning but the chubby spoiled baby is keeping Hanbin from eating his breakfast.</p><p>“Miwaaa-yaaa, I’m hungry…” Hanbin whimpered.</p><p>Jiwon who’s eating his part peacefully feel bad about Hanbin. He slides down from the couch to the floor next to Hanbin and with his fork, he slashed a big part and feed Hanbin.</p><p>“Ouwm, izz delisyouz.” The younger talk with his mouth full.</p><p>Jiwon chuckled, “swallow it first!”</p><p>Miwa always want attention, so she decided to blabbing while eating her fist. Hanbin lift her, and she immediately lean on his shoulder while chewing her thumb.</p><p>“Alright, alright no thumb chewing.” Hanbin took a soother, “you’re a big girl now, Miwa, you’re one year old—“</p><p>Then he and Jiwon gasped. They exchanged gaze in horror.</p><p>“Ji…”</p><p>“Today is her birthday!” Jiwon gasped.</p><p>“Oh my God! We haven’t buy a birthday cake!”</p><p>“And you haven’t cook her a steamed tofu!”</p><p>“Oh no!!” Hanbin gulped.</p><p>“It’s her first birthday, Bin, and we ruin it!”</p><p>“Oh my God!!”</p><p>They keep on shrieking at each other while Miwa started to doze off while clumping on Hanbin’s shoulder.</p><p>The glass door slides open and Chanwoo came back in. Hanbin</p><p>And Jiwon must looked dreadful because Chanwoo furrowed his eyebrows and asked, “uh, everything’s alright?”</p><p>“Y-yeah, no,” Hanbin stuttered, “well, mr. Jung—uh Chanwoo, today, today is Miwa’s birthday.”</p><p>“Oh.” Chanwoo raised his eyebrows, “happy birthday, Miwa.”</p><p>“And we planned to buy her cake this morning, but, you know,”</p><p>“Oh, you forgot because I suddenly came for the observation?” Chanwoo asked.</p><p>“Yeah, the observation is fine, but, if only we can go—you know, for a while to do a quick groceries and shopping.” Hanbin shrugged his shoulder.</p><p>“Maybe we can ask your mother to watch Miwa again just for couple hours?”</p><p>right on time mrs. Kim stepped out of the room.</p><p>“Mom, can you watch Miwa? We need to—where are you going? Why you all dress up?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>Mrs. Kim raised her eyebrows, “It’s Sunday, son, I’m going to the church.”</p><p>“Can’t you go to the afternoon service? Please watch Miwa when we’re out buying cake, please mom…”</p><p>“I can’t! and you two should start go to the church too!” mrs. Kim folded her arms in front. “If you want to go to the cake shop, bring Miwa along.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>They ended up going to buy cake with Miwa, and Chanwoo is coming with them. This is gonna be a looong day. Miwa is sleepy on Jiwon’s arm, he sat at the back seat while Hanbin is driving and Chanwoo sat next to him.</p><p>They arrived in Sugarcup, a cake shop which famous for the cute cakes. And as they entered the shop, disagreement starts right away.</p><p> </p><p>“No, I think she likes the minnie mouse cake better.” Hanbin still pinning his gaze to the two tier polkadot cake in white and pink colors with a huge fondant bow and pair of mouse ears at the top.</p><p>“But look at this winnie cake!” Jiwon pointing at the tall yellow cake with a figurine of winnie the pooh eating honey surrounded by his friends, Piglet, Tigger and Eeyore.</p><p>“She likes pink, Jiwon, for God sake!”</p><p>“But she has many winnie plushies in her bedroom, that says something!” Jiwon harshly sighs. Hanbin replied with a grunts. “We’ll never hear the end of it,” Jiwon turned to the shop keeper, her name’s Eun Ah, it’s written in the badge on her uniform. “Let’s vote, I’ll pick the Winnie, Hanbin the Minnie, what about you?”</p><p>Eun Ah startled for the sudden involvement. “I uh…”</p><p>“Oh don’t scared the poor girl.” Hanbin rolled his eyes.</p><p>Eun Ah clears her throat, “It’s okay, it’s okay.” She chuckles, “So, uh, the baby…”</p><p>“Miwa, her name’s Miwa.” Hanbin said.</p><p>“Oh what a cute name… it’s her first birthday?”</p><p>Hanbin and Jiwon nodded.</p><p>“Your first born?”</p><p>The both nodded again.</p><p>“Oh,” Eun Ah paused.</p><p>Hanbin and Jiwon suddenly realised that Eun Ah is a little surprised.</p><p>“Well,” she’s smiling, trying to keep her cool, “that’s very sweet, and uh, before I vote, I wanna know Miwa’s favorite color.”</p><p>“It’s pink, her room is all pink.” Hanbin said.</p><p>“Her favorite toys?”</p><p>“A spatula.” Jiwon said. Hanbin stopped, he’s right, Miwa played with a rubber spatula she got from the shopping bag when Hanbin bought some new kitchen equipment and he never had that spatula in the kitchen ever since. It’s inside Miwa’s baby fence in front of the TV. “But she has a lot of winnie plushies.” He proudly added.</p><p>“Yea but Miwa didn’t choose those winnie.” Hanbin mumbled.</p><p>“Miwa doesn’t choose the pinks too, it’s a very gender stereotype I would say.”</p><p>“Jiwon…” Jiwon thought Hanbin is gonna scold him but he saw the younger’s eyes is looking at a certain direction, Jiwon following his gaze and saw a pastry chef bringing out a new cake.</p><p>Chanwoo who sat on a cute waiting seat also following Hanbin’s gaze.</p><p>A tall white-Blue stripe fondant cakes with a character figure that was famous when they both still small, Bananas in Pyjamas.</p><p>Jiwon let out a fascinated gasped, “Hanbin…”</p><p>Eun Ah turned to see what’s happening, then he smiles, “Guess we got the winner?”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>They were back at the apartment when they met Jinhwan downstairs.</p><p>“Hey neighbour, what’s good?”</p><p>“Bought cake for Miwa’s birthday.” Hanbin replied, he realized Jinhwan is noticing Chanwoo. “It’s Jung Chanwoo, he’s the observer from social affair.”</p><p>“Oh, okay! Let’s go up.” Jinhwan push the elevator button for them.</p><p>Jiwon and Hanbin exchanging gaze, they didn’t remember inviting him for Miwa’s birthday.</p><p>“Well, uh,” Jiwon said while glancing at Hanbin, “we kind of making a small, private, family only birthday party for Miwa…”</p><p>Jinhwan just murmuring “mm-hm…” while pushing the R button.</p><p>Hanbin elbowed Jiwon when he saw Jinhwan is not going to their floor. “Uh, Jinhwan, would you help me push the second floor, our hands are a little occupied.” He has big cake box in his hands, while Jiwon has sleeping Miwa. Who is now starting to wake up and whimpering.</p><p>“Ssshh… shhh…” Jiwon bouncing a bit to make her sleep more.</p><p>“Hey, Miwaaa. Rise and shiinnee…” Jinhwan greet her and Miwa immediately sat up, blinking her eyes few times before smiling on Jinhwan cute gestures.</p><p>Hanbin mentally rolled his eyes.</p><p>They forgot to stop the elevator at the second floor, they go all the way up and Hanbin could only sighs. And when the elevator opened, the view was a small room with a stairs and a big red iron door.</p><p>“Come here,” Jinhwan said while holding the elevator door.</p><p>“What?” Hanbin asked, “no, no, we don’t have time, we have to cook food for Miwa and—“<br/>
“Come here, come with me.” Jinhwan repeated, “please?”</p><p>Hesitantly Hanbin stepped out of the elevator followed by Jiwon and Chanwoo. Jiwon looked annoyed because his ligaments are gonna give up soon from holding Miwa for hours.</p><p>Jinhwan open the red iron door, and they were welcomed by balloons, a lot of balloons, a table full of drinks in colorful paper cups with a stripe paper straw, mini cakes and sweets in bowring 3 tier plates, there even pastas in mini plates and pizzas. Jiwon grinned. He loves pizza.</p><p>“Happy birthday Miwaaaa…”</p><p>Miwa respond with a high pitched squeals while Hanbin and Jiwon speechless, like they are the one who got the surprise.</p><p>There are Jinhwan, Yunhyeong, Jisoo (holding Haru), Donghyuk, Lisa, Ezra, and mrs. Kim.</p><p>“Mom?” Hanbin raised his eyebrows, “thought you’re going to the church.”</p><p>“I will, I will, afternoon service, my dear.” She smile, and whe Hanbin upstretched just one eyebrow, she laughed, “what? I didn’t lie, I need you both to leave so I can cook the seaweed soup and prepare this little surprise with help from your lovely neighbors!”</p><p>Hanbin wanted to say that they’re not his lovely neighbor, but he better not burst the bubble, “Thank you so much.” Hanbin he said instead, “thank you… it means a lot for Miwa… and us.”</p><p>Jiwon smiles, “Hey Miwa, see that? You like it?”</p><p>“Let’s sing a happy birthday for her.” Hanbin went to a table which obviously prepared for the cake, he carefully open the box and placed the cake in the middle.</p><p>“Bananas in pyjamas…” Yun shouts then laughs.</p><p>“Yeah, you know what, it’s because Miwa doesn’t like anything besides bananas.” Jisoo told his husband.</p><p>“She likes steamed tofu now, still rejecting chicken of beef… Hanbin said she’s a vegan.” Jiwon added.</p><p>They sang birthday song three times because Miwa cried when they stopped, but after three times Jiwon told Miwa that he’s gonna be the one who cry if she wants another song. Jiwon and Hanbin managed to make her blow the candle without her hands clawing the cake and peacefully cut and distributing the cake while Miwa is securely eating her own big chunk of cake (which a banana cake) on her grandma’s lap.</p><p> </p><p>“Here’s your cake, mr. observer.” Jinhwan brought Chanwoo a cake.</p><p>“Thank you.” He took the paper plate.</p><p>“So, you’re here to observe is they both are good parents for Miwa?”</p><p>Chanwoo nodded.</p><p>“I’m Jinhwan by the way.”</p><p>“Chanwoo, Jung Chanwoo.” He smiles, “call me Cahnwoo.”</p><p>“Sure!”</p><p>“So, uhm, you’re their neighbour too?”</p><p>“Yes,” Jinhwan nodded, “I live in the first floor… the only single guy in the building.” Jinhwan laughs, “and I know you might not asking for my opinion, but for me, Jiwon and Hanbin is a great parents for Miwa. I mean, pardon me, I still have a hangover from party last night.” He said, “I went to Hanbin’s gig…”</p><p>“Oh, right, Jiwon told me about the gig this morning.”</p><p>“Yeah, it was a enjoyable party, Hanbin played from 1 to 3 am, he stays sober all the time, and when he’s done, they both went home for Miwa. Very responsible.”</p><p>“Oh good to know… even though they woke up late this morning.” Chanwoo chuckled, “They came from their room still in a sleepy face, though both are already took shower.”</p><p>“They look too cool and awkward towards each other, a bit distance sometimes, I don’t know why but—“</p><p>“Hmm, I don’t know about that, but when I came with them to get the cake, they bickered like an old couple actually, that’s quite nice to see. To know that they already together for long time.”</p><p>“How long they’ve been together?” Jinhwan asked.</p><p>“Uh, honestly I don’t know either.”</p><p>Jinhwan sips his soda, “Hey, Hanbin.” He called Hanbin who is talking to Donghyuk not very far from him.</p><p>Hanbin turned, right when Jiwon walked near him to take a mini cheese pizza near the younger.</p><p>“How long you’ve been together? You and Jiwon.”</p><p>Hanbin hates this kind of question, is the ‘who proposed’ question wasn’t enough? What else they have to prepare for the future random question? Where they met? How they know each other? Who initiate their first kiss? Who’s the top in bed? Oh well, Jinhwan already nosy about the last question, though he didn’t get the answer.</p><p>He quickly glancing at his mom, she shrugged her shoulder. Okay now think, Hanbin, how many years that looks natural for two people to be together until they decided to get married. Well any numbers will be relevant, but how—</p><p>“Long enough to know almost anything about him.” Jiwon chuckles, “time doesn’t matter, does it? Hm?” he scrunched his nose while playfully looking at Hanbin.</p><p>“You don’t remember, do you?” Jinhwan teases.</p><p>“We never really count, all we know is one day we’ll looking at the mirror, all grey, and Miwa get into the room saying: dad, I’m getting married.” Hanbin added.</p><p>“Aaaww…” Jisoo and Lisa touched.</p><p>“That’s very cute.” Yunhyeong mumbled.</p><p>“Honey?! Why are you crying??” Jisoo took a napkin and went to her husband.</p><p>“I can’t help but imagining Haru would say that too one day…”</p><p>“Alright, alright, let’s hope Haru would say that instead of: dad my girlfriend is pregnant.” Jisoo smiles. And the rest laughing with them.</p><p>Their neighbour might be a little nosy, and a little touchy, but they’re kind and attentive, and in Miwa’s first birthday, Jiwon and Hanbin realised that… Miwa loves party.</p><p> </p><p>-</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading! feel free to talk to me, and share some thoughts.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Panic Room</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>in which there's an emergency about Miwa, and Hanbin met Jiwon's old flame.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>The leftover cake still on the fridge, Hanbin already sick of it for eating it three days in a row. They already gave the neighbours a big chunk, and made mrs. Kim brought to Busan yesterday, but the cake never seems lessen.</p><p>“Ji, eat the cake again.”</p><p>“You think it still good? It’s been three days.”</p><p>“I think it can last until one week?”</p><p>Jiwon furrowing, “no, no, just throw it away if we can’t finish them.”</p><p>“Miwa loves it.”</p><p>“But we don’t give Miwa a ruined cake.”</p><p>“It’s not ruin, just... not-very-fresh-from-the-oven.”</p><p>Jiwon rolled his eyes, he’s getting ready for an afternoon shift.</p><p>“Bring the cake to the hospital.” Hanbin suggested while taking out a ramyun.</p><p>“Are you sure they’re still good?”</p><p>“The cake? Or the ramyun?”</p><p>“Ya. Stop eating ramyun everyday, cook something!” Jiwon propping his elbow on the island table while extending his neck, peeking on the cake.</p><p>The younger didn’t respond, he took a spoon and cut a spoonful of the cake then feed it to Jiwon. “what do you think? Still okay, huh?”</p><p>Jiwon nodded. “I actually like the taste too.”</p><p>Hanbin took a medium container and cut a big piece, he tried to be as neat as possible, “here, bring it to the office, tell them it’s Miwa’s birthday cake.” He slide it on the kitchen island. The older halting and Hanbin looking at him, “hey, do they know about Miwa?”</p><p> </p><p>Both Jiwon and Hanbin doesn’t really have a big circle of friends in their work place, for Hanbin is only Won and Junhoe, they never really bother anyone during the daylight. Won is busy with his little agency, Junhoe is busy with Jiujitsu practice. He’s an athlete, FYI. Only sometimes Junhoe will crash into Hanbin’s place just to have free meal or a sleep over.</p><p>And Jiwon, he has some friends from medical course, one of them is Song Mino, the only one still in contact with him and now working at a clinic in Jeju as a pharm.D. But here in the hospital where Jiwon is working in Seoul, he has 4 co-workers which two of them are married (not to each other), and don’t really talk about other’s life, the other one is a quiet girl who spent her free time scrolling her cellphone.</p><p>The only one he ever had a closer relationship was an ER doctor. Well, a bit too close though, too deep, too complicated. He was Dr. Kim, Kim Jinwoo, a beautiful male doctor who caught anyone’s attention, especially Jiwon. Jiwon only acted friendly towards the older doctor without any expectation, he realised it’s kind of impossible to get any extended attention from a person as attractive as Jinwoo, surprisingly, Jinwoo was the first one asking him out, they were close since then but Jinwoo’s insecurity and his fear of coming out differently bothered Jiwon. The younger said Jinwoo wasn’t ready for this relationship, and they decided to part ways since then.</p><p>He still coincidentally meet Jinwoo in the hospital hallway, cafeteria, restaurants or cafes across the building, but never really exchanging words anymore. But he heard Jinwoo dating a female doctor.</p><p> </p><p>“Kim Jiwon..?”</p><p>Jiwon snapped back at the present time, “hmm? Oh.. Uh, no… I don’t really talk to my colleague, they’re just typical chemist who interested in substance, capsules, drops, or suppositories more than human.”</p><p>“So are you gonna bring the cake or not?” Hanbin pointing at the cake with his eyes.</p><p>“I will.” He grabbed it, “if they refuse it, I’m gonna eat them all.”</p><p>“That’s the spirit, my friend!!” Hanbin laughs, but then he stopped, “Jiwon, no.”</p><p>The older raised his eyebrows, “no what?”</p><p>“You’re diabetics! No sweets.”</p><p>“Oh,” he laughs, “I don’t have diabetes, Bin, I’m at risk, as the son of two diabetics parents, I’m at risk, but so far I always checked and I’m still in the good condition.”</p><p>“Yea but still, you have to be careful, and, oh my Gosh,” Hanbin inhaled, “go leave to work, go, go, I’m going to do groceries with Miwa, we need to change your sugar. My mom always use a diabetic sweetener, not because she has to, but she likes the taste better, so, I know good brand.”</p><p>Jiwon heard Miwa starts crying from her room.</p><p>“Hey, Bin, Miwa—“</p><p>“Also, we gotta get rid of this huge ass cake, and no more maple syrup for pancakes.”</p><p>“Bin, Miwa—“</p><p>“In fact, we both are gonna start consume oats and muesli for breakfast. What about diabetic rice? I have no idea how it taste but it could be good, no?”</p><p>“BIN! Miwa woke up…”</p><p>Hanbin stopped. “Ugh! Yes MIWAAA I heard yaaa… I’m commmiiinnng!!”</p><p>“See you at dinner?” Jiwon chuckles. Hanbin didn’t replied. But Jiwon knew it’s a yes.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon placed the container at the center of the common table in apothecary back office. The apothecary where Jiwon works is not the pharmacy where the patient buy or redeemed their prescription, it’s a laboratory where the medicine are made.</p><p>Baekhyun, a sunbae who looked like a fresh grad, look up from his laptop, “What’s this?” he asked. Next to him is Jiwon’s other co-worker, Seulgi, she was Jiwon’s sunbae in medical course, she’s in the same batch with Mino. Jiwon knew she slept several time with Mino before she married to another man.</p><p>Seulgi open the container, “whoa, birthday cake?”</p><p>His last co-worker is Tzuyu, she put down her cellphone and joining the reset, “Who’s birthday, oppa?” she asked.</p><p>Jiwon knew this is gonna be the template question whenever you brought a birthday cake. Well, he could say it’s his own birthday, no one know his birthday anyway, nor they care. Or he could say it’s just a cake. “Miwa’s birthday.”</p><p>The three people before him raised their eyebrows, their face showing similar question, do they know this Miwa?</p><p>“my late sister’s daughter.” Jiwon continued.</p><p>“Aah…” Baekhyun exclaimed, “I see…”</p><p>“Hey, we’re sorry about the incident.” Seulgi said.</p><p>“Don’t worry…” Jiwon smiles.</p><p>“So the kid is living with you now?” Tzuyu asked.</p><p>“Yeah, Miwa live with me…”</p><p>“Only with you? You know how to take care of a kid? How old is she?” Tzuyu strafed him with questions while taking plates for her sunbaes.</p><p>“Well…”</p><p>“You can ask me about raising a kid.” Seulgi said, she has a daughter.</p><p>“Thanks, noona.” Jiwon smile.</p><p>“So, how old is Miwa?” Baekhyun asked.</p><p>“One year old.”</p><p>“A baby!?” Seulgi gasped, she knew Jiwon is an orphan and now, with his sister’s gone, he’s practically alone. “oh my God… handling a baby is hard… moreover for a single guy like you… do you have aunt or like female cousins who had kids to teach you?”</p><p>“Well, I’m not really alone in this, I mean—“</p><p>They all turned to the sound of door opening, a nurse came in, “Jiwon-ssi, your daughter is in emergency room right now.”</p><p>Jiwon jumped from his seat, “Miwa? W-what happened?”</p><p>“A paediatrician is on the way, she’s there with your husband.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon ran towards the emergency room, he dreadfully looking to the right and left side, extending his neck to find Hanbin. <em>There he is</em>. Jiwon lengthen his step to get there quicker.</p><p>“Bin, what happened? Why didn’t you call me??” he stood beside Hanbin.</p><p>Hanbin didn’t answer, his gaze stays with the doctor who examine Miwa right now, like he’s trying to read her mind. Miwa is still whimpering while a nurse gently hold her. Miwa saw Jiwon and she started to cry again, she frown and lips turned downwards, ready to weep.</p><p>“Hey baby…” Jiwon wave his hand from where he stand though he really wants to take her from the nurse and burry her inside his arms. He turned to Hanbin, “Bin…” Jiwon caressed his arm, “what happened?” his voice lower and gentle.</p><p>Hanbin turned and pinned his gaze to Jiwon’s palm that is in his arm, “I don’t know, she didn’t stop crying.”</p><p>“Since?”</p><p>“Since you left home.”</p><p>Jiwon stopped, it was hours a go.</p><p>“I tried everything but she refuse, I know something is not right because… I feel like it’s not her usual crying, you know what I mean? It’s like she’s hurting, she feels pain somewhere and I couldn’t understand. All I can think is to get to the hospital as soon as possible.”</p><p>Jiwon lower his hand, he wrap his fingers around the younger’s. “Thank you, you did great.”</p><p>Both of them now just standing side by side, waiting for the examination to be done.</p><p>“It’s colic.” Dr. Im said, “it’s not dangerous, in fact, colic is very common to happen to infant and even toddler.”</p><p>“What cause it?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“Allergies, you have to track down her food, or her habit, if she’s breastfed, you have to make sure the mother’s diet. If she’s having formula, check the ingredients. She might allergies to cow milk, called lacto-intolerant, or gluten.” Dr. Im explained, “Jiwon-ssi should know about this.”</p><p>Jiwon shook his head, “I’m not a doctor, moreover, not a paediatrician, Nayeon-ssi.”</p><p>Dr. Im turned to Hanbin again, “Well, colic is like an anxiety attack for kids, so what you can do is to keep her comfortable, like hugging her inside a dark room, rub her back, massage her, and tell her a lot of loving words, tell her a happy stories with a low soothing voice.”</p><p>Hanbin nodded, “any medications needed?”</p><p>“I hate to put some chemicals inside a baby, if ever needed, just ask your friend, Jiwon-ssi, he must know about medicine better—“</p><p>“Jiwon is not his friend, dear, don’t be rude, he’s his husband.”</p><p>Three of them turned their head and found someone Hanbin would say ethereal, a good looking dr. Kim Jinwoo. He stood beside dr. Im and smile to Hanbin and Jiwon. Though Hanbin realised the doctor’s eyes linger a little bit too long on Jiwon.</p><p>“It’s my fiance, ER doctor, dr. Kim Jinwoo.” Dr. Im briefly explained, then back to her curious face, “Anyway… husband?? Really? Jiwon-ssi you’re married?” dr. Im widen her eyes.</p><p>“No, no…” Jiwon inhaled, “we’re joining custody for Miwa…”</p><p>“But my nurse said that mr. Kim Hanbin told them to look for his husband, mr. Kim Jiwon in apotechary…” Jinwoo tild his head.</p><p>Jiwon turned to Hanbin and he looked away.</p><p>“Well, it’s—“</p><p>“Just so they will look for Jiwon quickly.” Hanbin said, “I also said that his daughter is in ER. Both are entirely wrong because Miwa is not his daughter too, but both lies I told the nurse get Jiwon here very quick.” He smirks. “if you’ll excuse me, I have a cranky baby with colic to take care of.”</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon walked Hanbin to the taxi station, but they couldn’t find any, seems like there’s a traffic jam somewhere and usually taxis disappearing. Jiwon offering him to wait a bit in his office while he’s ordering him taxi or uber car.</p><p>Hanbin following Jiwon get into the office, There’s only Seulgi sitting inside her cubicle. Tzuyu and Baekhyun already leave because they were in the morning shift today.</p><p>“Oh my God… look at that cutie, oh my God…” Seulgi rose from her seat. “she’s so prettyy…”</p><p>Miwa whimpered again but Seulgi, with all her motherly gesture that so much different with Lisa. Lisa is good, but having a boy made her not as gentle as those with girls. “Baby, come with aunty? Hm? Come here?” And Miwa gave herself up immediately.</p><p>“I should change the diaper but I was panic and left everything at home.” Hanbin said.</p><p>“Oh it’s okay, the paediatric downstairs have everything, I guess. She drinks formula?” Seulgi asked.</p><p>Hanbin nodded, “I’ll bring her there, you can rest here.”</p><p>“Thank you so much…”</p><p>“Seulgi, call me Seulgi noona, Jiwon called me that too.”</p><p>“Thank you so much, Seulgi noona.”</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon joined him sitting in a long couch.</p><p>“Bin, it’s very difficult to get a taxi, they keep on canceling.” Jiwon looking at his watch, “if you want I can order you a food, we can have dinner here and go home. I bring my car today.”</p><p>Hanbin wanted to say no but what’s the point? If he’s going home now with Miwa, they’d stuck in traffic and probably arrived home around the same time with Jiwon. Also he realised he’s very hungry from the stress.</p><p>He shrugged his shoulders, “okay.”</p><p>“What do you want? The phenomenal jiggae?”</p><p>The younger nodded, “I can eat the whole cow if it serves in front of me now.”</p><p>Jiwon chuckles while calling the cafeteria, asking for delivery.</p><p>“So…” Hanbin look around, Jiwon’s office is not big but it has four cubicles, Hanbin assumed own by four chemist, and a big common table with stationeries at the center, probably place where they had meetings, today it has small plates and an empty medium container. Miwa’s cake. At the back side of the office Hanbin saw a big window glass towards a big laboratory, there’s a small letter sticker at the door; Seoul Clinical Chemistry and Laboratory Medicine. Hanbin turned to Jiwon, “you’re not selling drugs?”</p><p>“Huh?” Jiwon flinched.</p><p>“I mean, medicine, prescription meds.”</p><p>Jiwon scoffing, “I’m a chemist, Bin, a pharmacist, not working <em>at</em> the pharmacy.” Hanbin tilt his head while his eyebrows creases, “me and my team do research about medicines. We <em>made</em> medicine.”</p><p>“Whoa.”</p><p>Jiwon shrugged his shoulders. A bit smug because Hanbin looked impressed. The younger slews facing him, “So, who’s dr. Kim Jinwoo.”</p><p>Jiwon paused, learning Hanbin’s eyes if there’s any attraction inside, “uh, he’s dr. Im Nayeon’s fiance.”</p><p>Hanbin’s lips stretch into a slight smile, “okayy…” Hanbin pretend to look away before snapped back, “and you date him before he was with dr. Im or when he was <em>already</em> with dr. Im??”</p><p>Jiwon choked on his own saliva.</p><p>Hanbin patted his back, “you okay?”</p><p>“H-how did you—“</p><p>The younger laughs, “he was looking at you like he’s looking at the one that got away… and he doesn’t seem to please when he look at me.” Hanbin staring back at Jiwon, “you know his ear got so tense because it heard a news he don’t wanna hear? I saw it in him, and it was losen up just when you told him that we’re not together, as in we’re not married.”</p><p>Jiwon didn’t say anything.</p><p>“You still like him, don’t you?”</p><p>The older threw his gaze somewhere else.</p><p>“You’re afraid that he thought the doors closed because you’re married, that’s why you corrected him”</p><p>“No.” Jiwon quickly replied.</p><p>Hanbin scoffed. The food came shortly after Jiwon ended the conversation and they eating in silence.</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin buckled Miwa inside the baby car seat they rented just now because they don’t have one. “okay, you good?” Miwa doesn’t seems happy because she didn’t bring any toys nor she has her beloved snack puff with her. “Just a few minutes okay?” Later the younger climb up Jiwon SUV and pull the seatbelt, “maybe we need to buy a baby car seat.”</p><p>Jiwon turn the ignition on while humming, “hm.. we’ll look at it later.”</p><p>“This one doesn’t seems comfortable for her.” Hanbin twist his head to see Miwa, “hey, Miwa-ssi… miss Miwa…” Miwa giggled.</p><p>Jiwon smiles at Hanbin’s high pitched voice, he’s really good at it. Suddenly he saw Jinwoo walked out the glass door towards the parking lot. His car probably parked near Jiwon’s because he’s walking towards them. Slightly jiwon saw him looking at his direction. And no car is tinted in Seoul, so he must be visible from outside.</p><p>
  <em>“You’re afraid that he thought the door closed because you’re married.”</em>
</p><p>Hanbin’s words reappear on his mind.</p><p>
  <em>“You still like him, don’t you?”</em>
</p><p>Then Jiwon, without thinking, turn his head to Hanbin who still looking at the backseat to Miwa. The older took his chin between his finger, bring him to face Jiwon, and before Hanbin could proceed, Jiwon leaned forward, caught the younger’s lips with his.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin could do something like pushing him away, but he choose not to. He lets Jiwon kiss him. It was started with a light brushed above his lips, and continue in a deeper kisses as it goes. Jiwon’s lower lips feels good between his. And the way Jiwon softly sucks his upper lips is addicting. Hanbin’s hand slips on the side of Jiwon’s body, fists curled on his shirt while both the older’s hands are securing his jaw, connected at his nape.</p><p>Jiwon slightly pushed forward and Hanbin was about to lose it, his hand was about to look for the hem of Jiwon’s shirt but then Jiwon pull apart. The older immediately looking down while Hanbin instinctively looking around, he was checking if someone’s watching, and there, he realised the reason why Jiwon suddenly kissed him.</p><p>Dr. Kim Jinwoo is looking at them.</p><p>“Oh.” Hanbin murmured.</p><p>Jiwon still immobile.</p><p>“Let’s go.” Hanbin said.</p><p>“Huh?”<br/>
“Drive! For od sake!”</p><p>Hanbin spent the journey looking outside the window, once in a while he went to check on Miwa, she looks sleepy and fell asleep few times but always trying to stay awake.</p><p>“Uh, Bin…” Jiwon trying to make a conversation.</p><p>The younger didn’t respond.</p><p>“Are you mad at me?”</p><p>Hanbin’s eyes moving from a building to another building, “are you trying to make him jealous?” Hanbin murmuring his question.</p><p>“No…” Jiwon said, “I’m closing the doors.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“And I should check on her food, she could be lacto-intolerant, or allergic to something…” Hanbin explained to Jisoo who stopped by his house with Yoojin.</p><p>“Colic also came from stress.” Jisoo said.</p><p>“It’s true, the doctor said it’s like anxiety attack. All the sudden changes might one of the cause.” Hanbin nodded.</p><p>Jisoo run her finger over her cellphone, “suggestions from internet are more or less the same with what the doctor said, pour Miwa with affections, and show her affection too, I mean you and Jiwon.”</p><p>Hanbin lift his head to look at Jisoo, she seems seriously reading whatever article on her cellphone.</p><p>“Hey, Hanbin, have you ever cuddled or kissed in front of Miwa?”</p><p>“W—well…” he shouldn’t feel so shy while recalling the kiss in the car few days a go, it wasn’t even a kiss with feelings involved, moreover, no one talked about it afterwards, not that Jiwon trying to open a conversation about that too. The older’s only explanation was just ‘closing the doors’ and that’s it. “We—we did, kiss in front of Miwa…” well, he didn’t lie.</p><p>“Why don’t you try cuddle, involving the three of you. I did that a lot, with Haru in the middle between me and Yun, and he loves it so much!”</p><p>Hanbin pressed his lips together, forming a thin line while nodding.</p><p>“Anyway, are you okay if I breastfeeding Haru here?”</p><p>“Yeah, sure.” Hanbin hasn’t finished his word and Jisoo already positioned Haru on her lap and lift up her shirt, “oh my God, Jisoo—“ he immediately took a clean couch throw and give it to Jisoo to cover her exposed breast.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Jisoo asked, “he hates using cover because he couldn’t see me, this is why I can’t nurse him anywhere, but you won’t get hard by seeing this, right? I mean you’re married to a guy, you—“ Jisoo gasped, “are you bisexual??”</p><p>Hanbin didn’t replied.</p><p>“Really?” Jisoo didn’t seems bothered with the fact, instead she looks interested to know, “so you ever done it with girls?”</p><p>“Done what?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>Jisoo grunts, she covered Haru's ear before whispered, “have sex.”</p><p>“Oh,” Hanbin hums, “yes.”</p><p>Jisoo gasping again, “did Jiwon know about this?”</p><p>He halts before answering, “uh, well I don’t know if he knows or not… we—we never really talk about it.”</p><p>“Omo… don’t you think it would be a problem?”</p><p>“Why would it be a problem?”</p><p>Jisoo inhaled, “does Jiwon always gay?”</p><p>Hanbin shrugged his shoulder, but then he remember to not looking so ignorant, “his ex was a guy.” Again, he didn’t lie, he knew about dr. Kim Jinwoo.</p><p>“Did you hide it from him so he won’t feel insecure?” Jisoo ask again, “I mean he has to keep you from both boys and girls.” She chuckles.</p><p>Hanbin laughing too, “that’s his problem not mine.” The bell door rang, Hanbin knew it’s Lisa because she texted him before, he went to open it.</p><p>“Hello.” She came alone.</p><p>“Where’s Ezra?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“With his father. Donghyuk’s home.” Hanbin just knew that Donghyuk is an architect, he often work from home.</p><p>Haru fell asleep and she put him on the baby beanbag, “but seriously, frankly speaking, if you told me that there’s anyone among you and Jiwon who is bisexual, I would definitely guessed Jiwon.”</p><p>“What is it? Did I missed something?” Lisa asked while taking a bottle of mineral water from Hanbin.</p><p>“Hanbin is bisexual, he was so awkward when I lift my shirt to nursed Haru.” Jisoo giggles.</p><p>“Oh, really? You still turned on to see girls? Ain’t that a hard work for Jiwon?” Lisa raised her eyebrows.</p><p>“Well, for someone as hot as Jiwon, he absolutely need something that makes him insecure. And I know why he’s head over heel over you, Bin, because you made him insecure.” Jisoo click her tongue.</p><p>Hanbin never really think about it, well, obviously because he’s not even in relationship with Jiwon for real.</p><p>“Right, Jiwon is very manly,” Lisa said, “you and Jiwon has a similar frame but it’s cute how you have softer edges than him.”</p><p>Hanbin surprised too that he and Jiwon wear the same size for almost everything, shirt, pants, even shoes.</p><p>“But it’s not anymore the standard, I mean, look at Yun, he’s a softie, he loves chapsticks, a great cook, he did the housework much better than me. He even knit a muffler for Haru! Oh my Gosh… but well, he’s straight.”</p><p>Lisa laughs, “yeah, I know right, at home, I’m the unromantic one, Donghyuk always remember our anniversary, never forget to buy me flowers on valentines day, while I have to put his birthday on reminder every year.”</p><p>Hanbin laughs, and strangely he enjoys this conversation with two weird young moms, even though never in his imagination to tangled in a conversation about family and babies. Not in the next ten years of his life.</p><p> </p><p>The door’s beeping, Jiwon’s home. He get into the house and recognised some shoes, “Oh, hey girls.” He greet them all.</p><p>“Hey Jiwon.” Jisoo and Lisa replied.</p><p>“Where’s Miwa?” he asked Hanbin.</p><p>“Sleeping.” Hanbin pointing at her room with her chin.</p><p>Jiwon is about to head to the room when Jisoo prompt, “really? He just go straight looking for Miwa?”</p><p>Jiwon stops, “What? What’s wrong?”</p><p>“You don’t even kiss Hanbin first?” Jisoo turned to Hanbin, “we’ve talked about this Bin, the importance of showing affections in the house so Miwa will less stress!”</p><p>“Well he just—“ Hanbin thinking of an excuse.</p><p>“I didn’t kiss him because there’s you, girls.” Jiwon said.</p><p>“Oh come on!” Lisa rolled her eyes, “aside from whoever at home with me, but if Donghyuk came home and doesn’t kiss me, I will accuse him cheating on me with some ugly chicks out there.”</p><p>Jiwon dropped his jaw before laughing at Lisa’s statement.</p><p>“So?” Jisoo turned to Jiwon and Hanbin.</p><p>Hanbin look up to Jiwon, “so? Are you cheating on me with some ugly dudes out there?”</p><p>Jiwon scoffed, “no…” he bent down and pull Hanbin chin, Jiwon brushed his lips above the younger, he let it linger ther for a few second before pull apart and said, “couldn’t find any dudes uglier than you.”</p><p>Hanbin pretend to rolled his eyes and acted like the kiss happened daily, in fact, there’s a million butterflies came alive in his stomach. He wonders if Jiwon feel the same…</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon went to the pinkest room in the house and checking on sleeping Miwa, some nights before she still crying due to the colic that Hanbin had to let her sleep with him in the guest room. But today, she looks peaceful. It’s been a slow week for all of them.</p><p>Jiwon turned to see Hanbin sending the two young moms to the doors, and shortly after the younger said something to Jiwon about him cooked pasta for dinner. Unknowingly he feel something warm over flowing his heart, he feels… content? Yeah, Jiwon learn something today, that having someone waiting for you at home is… wonderful.</p><p> </p><p>-</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>please leave comments... i love your thoughts!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Break Down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>when Hanbin realised Haneul won't comeback.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>It’s Saturday, a bright Saturday in the middle of April. Jiwon scratch the back of his head while walking fast towards Miwa’s room, eyelid still glued but Miwa is screaming, asking for attention because she’s awake, and Hanbin is in the kitchen, in the middle of trying a new recipe for Miwa so he just shouting to Jiwon.</p><p>“You hate it when you’re wake up alone, eh?” Jiwon lift her up while walking back to his room, looking for a t-shirt. Hanbin couldn’t help but peeking at the older naked upper body. Those muscle surely the result of working out hard, and Hanbin never knew when he did that. “You know what, Miw, when—“</p><p>“Stop calling her Miw.” Hanbin muttered while folding a wonton.</p><p>“You know what Miw,” Jiwon purposely ignore Hanbin, “when you grow older, and you went clubbing, get too wasted, you might want to wake up alone than regretting whatever happened the night before.”</p><p>“Kimjii…” Hanbin warned him.</p><p>“Kimhaaan…” Jiwon copying him.</p><p>Lately Hanbin enjoying calling the older Kimji, because he seems annoyed with the nick name, and Hanbin annoyed with how Jiwon always call Miwa with Miw. What’s Miw? Like cat? Mew mew? Puh.</p><p>“So… must be often to you to wished to wake up alone after a wild night, hm?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“No, it’d be more make sense if it’s you, Kimhan.” Jiwon sat on the couch, letting Miwa leaning on him while chewing her soother.</p><p>“Why me? You were the one throwing idea to Miwa, telling like it’s always been your story.”</p><p>Jiwon snickered, “I’m imagining you in that position.”</p><p>“Stop shooting a ball at me” Hanbin scoffed.</p><p>There was a comfortable silence before Jiwon murmured, “I was never a fan of one night stand…”</p><p>Hanbin paused, “oh…” he silently responded.</p><p>“What about you?”</p><p>Hanbin lift his head to glance at Jiwon who asking while busy changing the TV station. His mind went to series of one night stand he had in the pass. And few reckless quickie with Junhoe. <em>Damn</em>. Does Jiwon really someone who only had sex with his partner? Now Hanbin feel filthy. “Uh, not anymore.”</p><p>“Not anymore, huh?” Jiwon’s eyes still pinning on TV.</p><p>“It was long time a go, I was a new DJ and a partygoer,” <em>and a little heart broken,</em> Hanbin mentally added for himself, “I came to a club every weekend, get super wasted, then ended up in another party, like a private party, make out with stranger, and woke up in someone’s apartment or in a hotel room.”</p><p>“Pretty wild.” Jiwon murmured. “you shouldn’t tell me that…”</p><p>Hanbin alarmed, trying to find the meaning behind Jiwon’s statement, why he shouldn’t tell him that? is it jealousy he heard? Or disapproval? Dislike?</p><p>“…in front of Miwa.” He lift Miwa by her waist and playfully smooching her stomach, “Kimhan is so wild, Miw, how can he told such a story in front of innocents like us, huh? Right? Miwaaa… miss Miwaa…” the little chubby bundle is giggling really loud, “Miwa-ssiii…”</p><p>Hanbin rolled his eyes. Such a waste of time for thinking Jiwon is paying attention about him and his life. Jiwon is all about light talks and teasing Miwa until she cries laughing.</p><p>Jiwon steal a glance towards Hanbin who still busy with his food. “What are you making?” he let Miwa crawling on the carpeted floor after she looks tired from laughing that she loses her soother somewhere and left saliva everywhere on Jiwon’s hair.</p><p>“Fish wonton, dory fish. I really hope she likes it.” Hanbin been carefully choosing food for Miwa due to Colic she suffered before. So far, she added dory fish as her new darling. Miwa’s not so vegan after all.</p><p>“Have you find out the food she allergic too?”</p><p>“Hmm, not yet, and if only you could help, I’d be very thankful.” He’s preparing the broth to boil them, and then back again to folding wonton.</p><p>Jiwon didn’t replied, he continue watching Hanbin who busy on the kitchen island, he doesn’t have apron with him, they don’t have any, so the younger cook in sweatpants and white t-shirt, the one with a low collar which shows the shoulder blade and the tattoo. Hanbin sat on one of the bar stool, his spine bend a little when he’s trying to concentrate on the folding. Fingers covered with flours, and sometimes he’d unconsciously bite his lower lips. And when he did that, Jiwon did that too. His mind going on the younger’s story about the wild life he had. There’s a pang inside his chest when he picture Hanbin fucked someone or fucked by someone, it bruises his heart for some hazy reason.</p><p>Jiwon scoffed, then he look away. Watching the younger is getting harder these days, he doesn’t want to admit that it happened after the kiss, but it did happened after the kiss. It’s like Jiwon keep recalling the taste of his lips, And he keep paying too much attention to his mouth when they talked. Hanbin himself is not much a helpful, because he has this habit of licking the corner of his lips when he’s thinking, and Jiwon had to look away every time he did that.</p><p>Or he’ll losing it.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin doesn’t have a gig tonight, he already went DJing yesterday and he’ll have another gig on Sunday. So today he and Jiwon planning on going to the park in the afternoon. It’s mid April, so the weather is good and cherry blossoms blooming in some areas.</p><p>“Diaperbag check, this ugly winnie checked, spatula checked…” Jiwon murmuring Miwa’s essentials.</p><p>“Spatula? Seriously?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“She’s obsessed with it!”</p><p>“Yeah but you didn’t even put in her soother, and her formula is still on the table, I saw it.” Hanbin purposely sighing sharply, “priorities, Kimji, priorities.”</p><p>“Okaaay… sorryyy…”</p><p>Hanbin sighs while packed lunch for them. He bought kimbap and cut some fruits for them. He wanted to make kimbap by himself, he just don’t think he’s good at it. Cooking is never his forte until Miwa.</p><p>Yeah. Almost every big changes in his life is ‘until Miwa’.</p><p>They drove to a park near Han Gang, there’s a big green areas surrounded by lushy cherry blossoms. Hanbin brought lunch box and picnic mat while Jiwon have Miwa on his arm and diaper bag in his other hand. They picked a place a bit far from the river but it’s on a mound so they can see the river, just hopefully Miwa won’t rolling down on the grass.</p><p>“You watch Miwa while I prepare the food, deal?” Hanbin said.</p><p>Jiwon nodded, he’s following Miwa who crawl on the grass, “hey, Kimhan? Can baby eat grass?”</p><p>Hanbin immediately lift his head, ready to explode.</p><p>“Kidding~” Jiwon sneered while Miwa is sitting on a grass tugging it… and eat it, “oh, I’m not kidding! Look she ate the gr—“</p><p>“KIM JIWON!!”</p><p>“Hey, Miwa-ssi, don’t eat grass! No, no, miss Miwa….” Jiwon clean up her mouth while holding her small hands, “look, Kimhan is angry.”</p><p> </p><p>There’s a high pitched squeals that is very familiar to Hanbin, he lift his head and saw Miwa is so happy, playing on the grass with Jiwon. He slightly looking around, there’s some other families, and couple doing picnic under the cherry blossom. Did he just considered them a family? Or a couple? Hanbin slightly shook his head to push away the thoughts, and then he stood up and walked towards Jiwon and Miwa.</p><p>“Kimji, you wanna go change her diaper?” Hanbin pointed at the baby room which a little far near a bridge.</p><p>Jiwon groaned, “I did that this morning.” He whined, “and last night.”</p><p>“Alright, alright,” Hanbin offer his arms to Miwa and she immediately reached up and hug Hanbin, “lunches are unpacked, go have your lunch and please make a formula for Miwa.” He said before walking towards the baby room.</p><p>Jiwon ate two pieces of kimbap while taking pictures of the flowers above their picnic mat, he teared a small branch which only consist of four flowers, he gonna give it to Miwa. Jiwon turned around when he heard an excited laughs that all to familiar for him, Miwa’s laughter. His eyebrows creased to see Miwa is holding by a young woman, probably similar age with him and Hanbin while Hanbin is walking beside them pushing a stroller. They looks like a family.</p><p>
  <em>What the heck…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Who is she? Hanbin’s friend?</em>
</p><p>Jiwon doesn’t like what he feels, but he just keep on staring at them until Hanbin took Miwa back and the young woman parked the stroller somewhere in the pathway and took a little boy from it, then they walked towards the picnic area while still talking to each other. Though the young woman seems unable to take her eyes off of Hanbin as she keeps on paying too much attention whenever Hanbin’s talking, Jiwon knew she wouldn’t do anything further to court Hanbin, she got a kid and husband somewhere in the park for sure. However the older can’t help but feel something strange inside his chest, like a fear. Fear about the possibility of Hanbin settling down with a woman and having his own family in the future. When this is all over.</p><p>His eyes met Hanbin and just so he wouldn’t look so awkward, Jiwon went to Hanbin and Miwa, “Miwa…” he showed her the flower he took and Miwa popped her eyes.</p><p>“Amwoaaa…” she stunned.</p><p>“Oh hello.” Jiwon bowed to the young woman.</p><p>“Hello.” She’s bowing back, her face shows a template awkwardness of people’s expression when they saw same sex couple. And Jiwon pretend he didn’t see it.</p><p>“Did you break it from the tree?” Hanbin pointed at the flowers.</p><p>“Yeah, so I can give it to Miwa.” Jiwon knew Hanbin is going to nag about don’t harm nature whatsoever, but no Hanbin took a flower and put in in Miwa’s ear.</p><p>“Oh, pretty,” he said, “pretty Miwa…”</p><p>“Is this Miwa’s dad?” the young woman asked Hanbin. Jiwon is more than curious about Hanbin’s answer, what did they talking about all the way from the baby’s room up until here? Did Hanbin said that Miwa is his daughter?</p><p>“Yes.” Hanbin shortly replied. It was brief, maybe a little predictable but Jiwon still had this warm feeling slipping inside his chest. “my husband.” The younger continued and Jiwon is three seconds too late to react due to shock.</p><p>He smiles, a little too wide. “Hello—again, I’m Kim Jiwon.”</p><p>The young woman bowed again, “I’m Eunha.” She watched Miwa is now settled on Jiwon’s arm, “may ask you something, Hanbin-ssi?”</p><p>Hanbin raised his eyebrows.</p><p>“I’m really curious about this, so please forgive me if my question offended you, but trust me if you’re not comfortable to answer it just tell me…”</p><p>Jiwon quickly glancing at Hanbin, he looked calm.</p><p>“Miwa looks exactly like both of you, well, when I saw her with you at the baby’s room, I said to myself: wow that baby girl looks exactly like her dad. But when I saw Jiwon-ssi, I can’t help but see that Miwa is look a lot like Jiwon-ssi… I mean how come?” she paused and then with a lot concern she apologetically continue, “here comes the offending part, you know, Miwa might born from uh, surrogate? And uh, surrogate can only have one genetical derivatives… but how come Miwa looks exactly like both of you?”</p><p>Jiwon turned to Hanbin, he’s willing to help him answer that even though maybe Jiwon’s answer would be: fuck off, you’re too nosy.</p><p>But Hanbin smiles, “Eunha-ssi… the explanation for that would be very long and complicated we might considered you as a family after that,” Hanbin chuckles. “but one thing for sure is Miwa has both out genes.”</p><p>Eunha bid herself goodbye and back to her mat which is near from theirs. Jiwon, Hanbin, and Miwa also back to their mat. Hanbin is preparing Miwa’s lunch while Jiwon fixing the flower in her hair, he couldn’t unseen what Eunha said, Miwa does have the cute plumpy lips from Hanbin family side, but she has Jiwon’s nose and her eyes is round like Hanbin’s mother’s but trapped in a cute monolit of Jiwon’s.</p><p>“She does look like us.” Jiwon murmured.</p><p>“Hm…” Hanbin humming, “she does look like Haneul and Jian…”</p><p>Jiwon heard that, he heard the sorrow in the younger’s voice.</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon lay down on the mat using his right forearm as pillow, Hanbin sat cross legged on his left with his back on the older, Miwa sits in front of Hanbin, the younger is feeding her.</p><p>“You like the wonton, miss Miwa? Oh… good girl…” Hanbin mumbled everytime Miwa chew her food, “want more? Uh hm?”</p><p>Hanbin always good at this kind of thing, even Jiwon is jealous of how Hanbin’s high pitched babying voice is so natural and cute, while his would sounds like a thug with a sore throat. Jiwon sighs, he’s looking at the younger’s back, a board back that only slightly smaller than him. Jiwon spread his fingers, motioning behind Hanbin. how he wants to run his palm on his back, but then curled it and pull it away. He’s not gonna ruin anything. Not with this guy, not when one small mistake would put Miwa at stake.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>It was at night few days later when mrs. Kim called to say that maybe they need to rearrange the house a bit.</p><p><em>“Surely it’ll become Miwa’s house one day, but what about making it more to ‘Miwa’s house’ not Haneul and Jian’s museum?”</em> mrs. Kim said, <em>“keep their pictures, but maybe you two should let go their belongings like clothes, shoes, some documents that maybe unused…”</em></p><p>Jiwon looking at Hanbin, “maybe you mom’s right, maybe we should reduce their belongings, just a bit of it… and maybe we should keep just few pictures. Maybe hang some pictures of us with Miwa from her birthday? Whoever Miwa ended up, which foster parents chosen later, we’re still her uncles. We have a full rights to have our pictures with Miwa hung on the wall of her house.”</p><p>And it pierced Hanbin’s heart. <em>Whoever Miwa ended up, which foster parents chosen later, we’re still her uncles. </em>Miwa will leave them eventually. One day.</p><p>Hanbin nodded while taking a deep heavy breath, “okay, I’ll start on Monday… maybe.” He has Miwa on his chest, she’s sleeping with pacifier still on her mouth, Hanbin took it off slowly before lift her up and place her inside the baby crib. Then he went to the master bedroom, briefly opening every drawer and take a look at the closets that full of his late brother’s clothes.</p><p>And it hits him hard.</p><p>He was so busy with Miwa and running his life as normal as possible, keep himself busy with his ‘new life’, new pretentious life and he forget that he would never see his brother anymore.</p><p>Hanbin exhaled a sharp air, eyes blinking fast, preventing it from producing tears. He close the lowermost drawer but it stuck, a box get in the way, Hanbin squat down and pull the box out, he opened it and he saw some old photo album. Haneul’s childhood photo album in which including many Hanbins inside. And there’s picture from their christmas days, thanksgiving, birthdays… the days when his family was still complete. When his dad still alive. When Haneul still alive.</p><p>He couldn’t hold it anymore. Hanbin hugged his knees, his shoulders shaking. He cries.</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon had been feeling Hanbin’s change of mood since few day a go, he seems a little gloomy. Hanbin refuse to hold Miwa too long, and everytime Jiwon is home, he always ask Jiwon to handle Miwa. Jiwon just done tucking Miwa to her crib when he heard someone is in the master bedroom, Jiwon went to the connecting door and found Hanbin is crying on the floor.</p><p>“Bin…” Jiwon appear on the door frame, “Hanbin, you okay??” he’s kneeling before the younger, “Hanbin…?”</p><p>Hanbin wiped his tears while sniffing, “I’m fine.” His words are just above whisper.</p><p>“Bin, tell me why you’re crying?”</p><p>“I-I just realised that… I would never see Haneul again… I would neve—“ he choked, “hear his voice anymore… I used to talk to him about…anything… and now… I’m—“ he sobs, “Haneul’s not here anymore.”</p><p>It was different with Jiwon, when he knew Jian passed away, he cried at the hospital, it’s true that he got no shoulders to cry on, but he also have no one to take care of, he doesn’t have the obligation to offer his shoulders to anyone. But Jiwon knew, Jiwon saw him during the funeral. Hanbin didn’t cry, he was busy comforting his mother, busy with those condolence texts, busy with pride.</p><p>Tonight, he saw him breakdown. Like all the bottled feelings bursts.</p><p>“How did you deal with this?” Hanbin asked, lifted up his face a bit and those tears wetting his face breaks Jiwon’s heart.</p><p>“I never dealt with it, Bin…” Jiwon sat across him, “I just let myself to be mad sometimes, I run it away, I screamed it away inside the car, I cried it away under the shower… I let it go.”</p><p>“And what about Miwa?”</p><p>“What about her?”</p><p>“She…” he sobs, “did you hear yourself? You said we’re just her uncle!”</p><p>“We are, Bin…”</p><p>He sobs. And Jiwon understand, Hanbin is in love with Miwa, and he’s not ready if one day he had to let her go.</p><p>“Hanbin, you know you always have other option about Miwa, right?”</p><p>Hanbin didn’t answer, clearly there’s a war inside his head, part of him still not sure if he wants that much responsibility in his life.</p><p>Jiwon patted his back, “we really don’t have to talk about it now…”</p><p>Hanbin started to bawl again, and Jiwon let him… he let him crying for another hour… just as long as he needed while he went to the kitchen, brew him some tea and brought it back to the room. He caressed the younger’s back, he help him sipping the tea, he run his fingers between Hanbin’s hair. It took around half an hour sitting there on their late sibling’s room floor in silence until Hanbin looks calmer.</p><p>“Thanks.” Hanbin murmured, “and sorry for being melodramatic in the middle of the night like this.”</p><p>Jiwon smiles, “Maybe this is cue for us to really get rid of their belongings, Bin, I can handle my heart too to see Jian noona’s pictures and stuffs everywhere…”</p><p>“I agree, I can’t have this break down everytime I saw Haneul hyung’s stuffs.”</p><p>“We’ll clean it up tomorrow, okay? I’ll help you.”</p><p>Hanbin raised his eyebrows “You? Cleaning?”</p><p>Jiwon chuckled, relieved that Hanbin is being sarcastic, means that he really is better. He turned to look at the bed, “hey, did you also feel that the matress in this bed is much better than the mattress in the guest room?”</p><p>Hanbin nodded, “yeah, it’s very comfy.”</p><p>“You wanna sleep here tonight? We can watch Miwa closer.” Jiwon suggested, trying his luck. Hopefully it won’t make Hanbin frown or cry again.</p><p>“Okay.” He shortly replied, without much expression in his voice.</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin joined Jiwon who already on the bed after he checked on Miwa. Jiwon put down his cellphone and help covering the younger with the thick blanket.</p><p>“Don’t treat me like a sick person.” Hanbin mumbled.</p><p>Jiwon chuckles because he find it cute rather than intimidating.</p><p>Hanbin sighs before he rolled away, his back on Jiwon. Another sigh is heard. And another one. Seems like Hanbin is trying push away any cloud in his mind. In his fouth sighs suddenly Hanbin felt a hand smoothing his arm, down from his shoulder to his elbow, then trailing to his front and stop right on his ribs.</p><p>He didn’t say anything, neither Jiwon. All Hanbin could feel is the older’s body is getting closer, almost touching his back completely. Hanbin closed his eyes, hoping that his heart won’t fail him by pounding too hard. But he knew he failed when finally Jiwon’s chest is flatten on his back. They were glued, no room at all. Hanbin didn’t know where is Jiwon’s other hand, all he could feel is his breathe on his nape, it’s so warm that Hanbin afraid to imagining how close it is. He slightly move his head, bravely move his head back, just an inch… but he went rigid when in touch with something warm, Jiwon’s lips. And shivers erupting his skin when Jiwon pull him closer, tighten his arms around his waist, and an embarrassing gasp released when he feels Jiwon’s lips parted to kiss his nape deeper.</p><p>Damn it.</p><p>
  <em>Damn it, Kim Jiwon.</em>
</p><p>His breathing hitched. And Jiwon whispered, “Bin… you good?”</p><p>Hanbin took a deep breath before twist his head, he saw Jiwon ducked back a bit to see him, and Hanbin took that opportunity to rolled over and facing him.</p><p>Eyes pinning on the older plush lips, “yeah… I’m—good…” he whispers and Jiwon captured his lips. They were kissing, not the brushing lips only, but kiss a real kiss which one lips enveloping the other, a kiss that involved some bites, some lip licking, some tongue…</p><p>Hanbin whimpered when Jiwon moved above him, caging him inside his well built arms, and still devouring his lips. Hanbin’s hands are on his shoulder, fingers reconnecting on the older’s nape.</p><p>“Bin…” He whispers between their kisses. He <em>wants</em> him so bad!</p><p>“Hmm…” he can’t answer properly, he’s too drunk on their kisses.</p><p>Jiwon’s hand slipped inside Hanbin’s lose t-shirt, smoothing along his stomach, up to his chest and found his nipple, he brushed his thumb over it,</p><p>“Ahh!” hanbin spike out a moan while Jiwon’s face is in the crook of his neck busy sucking the pale white skin. Every sounds the younger made sends insane sensations to Jiwon. He wanted to pull Hanbin’s shirt off, throwing it somewhere he doesn’t care, he wants to undress him completely, he wants to kiss him, worshiping his body all night, he wants to make him satisfied, “Jiwon… no…” he breathlessly talked.</p><p>“Hm…?” Jiwon brought his face back up, Hanbin cupped his face and pull him into a hungry kisses, “no what?” he asked between their open mouthed kiss.</p><p>“I…” Hanbin realised that he wants everything Jiwon is offering right now, but he couldn’t risk it. “Let’s not do anything further…”</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon kissed him again, another few light peck before he’s back on the mattress, hugging the younger tight while planting some kisses on his hair. He knows Hanbin’s concern, he got that concern too… maybe they need to talk it out, maybe not tonight. But don’t be too long because he doesn’t want to fall into this pit alone.</p><p> </p><p>-</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>heheh, surprised? another kiss which probably confusing them more. anyway, please share your thoughts! i love reading all of your comments.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. What Are We?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>which they try to figure out what are they to each others.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i promise you something fluffy, then here it is... fluffy abbi is back with fluffy story.<br/>it's a long chapter (not super long, just longer than usual)<br/>and Hanbin is one overthinking bitch.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hanbin sat on the waiting room in Créma, he’s gonna be on deck first, then Junhoe gonna continue latter. There’s a heavy sighs everytime he recalling what happened last night.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t sleep well last night, not when Jiwon had his lips on his nape all night, not when he knew Jiwon would wake every now and then and will kiss her neck or hair before falling a sleep again.</p><p>And in the morning, Hanbin pretended to sleep longer that Jiwon had to wake up to take Miwa from her crib when she’s crying, and when Miwa is safe with her soother and back to sleep, Jiwon took a shower to go to work. Hanbin did make him a simple breakfast and pretend to watch the news attentively so he doesn’t have to initiate any conversations.</p><p>And when Jiwon is about to leave, he went to Hanbin and kissed his cheek, and then he went to his lips. Hanbin couldn’t deny it—well not like he doesn’t want it—they kissed again that morning, not a long passionate kiss but the kind of kiss that send the knots in their stomach pit.</p><p>But Hanbin is the biggest coward of all. He knew he got time to talk to Jiwon in the afternoon after Jiwon back from from work, but a minute he got home, Hanbin changed and said that he need to go to his agency. That Won needs to see him. It was all a lie, he did went to the agency just to sleep on the couch of a small meeting room.</p><p>He didn’t kissed Jiwon before he left the house, in his defense he don’t want to look like he’s copying what the older did in the morning.</p><p>“What time are you gonna finished?” Jiwon asked before he left house. It’s the first time since they’re living together. Because before, Jiwon only knew Hanbin would be home very late but never really asked what time he’ll be home.</p><p>“I’ll be on deck first, so I’ll finished at 1.”</p><p>“I’ll stay in the master bedroom,” Jiwon said, “join me there tonight, will you?” with his gentle husky voice, Hanbin wonder who’s gonna say no. So he nodded before Jiwon brushed his face gently with his thumb.</p><p>Hanbin is more than happy to claim Jiwon, but again many issues are too important to ignored, and he can’t have the conversation now.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“What’s with the long face?” Junhoe pour himself a drink, single malt, before sitting across Hanbin.</p><p>“What? Nothing…” Hanbin sips his beer.</p><p>“Your husband’s not coming?”</p><p>Hanbin shook his head but the voice of Jiwon asked him to join him in bed later made him smile, unknwoingly he’s smiling softly.</p><p>Suddenly Junhoe laughing, “the fuck with the smile, dude?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Don’t tell me you sleep with him! You whore…”</p><p>“Hey!”</p><p>“You’re not?”</p><p>Hanbin shook his head.</p><p>“Dude, you live with a hot single man, and you both still not fucking each other? Such a waste of time.”</p><p>“Jun, I can’t ruin anything at the house, not until Miwa found a good foster parents for her.” Hanbin said, “I can’t involved to any emotional relationship, with him especially, because I want us to stay rational for any decision regarding Miwa.” He inhaled, “you know how a relationship ruin people, right? They can’t think straight, they get jealous, they get angry, they took things for granted… I don’t want either me or Jiwon thought we had this ‘privilege’ to ruin each other.”</p><p>Junhoe didn’t say anything for a moment, then he put down his drink and seriously looking at Hanbin in the eyes, “dude, what had destroyed you?”</p><p>“W-what?”</p><p>“Why is a relationship sounds so toxic in your mind? Don’t you ever be in a happy relationship? Where two people are together because they complete each other, not because they want to ruin each other…” Junhoe still observing Hanbin’s face, “man… who had done it to you?”</p><p>Hanbin paused, what Junhoe said was true. He had concern when Jiwon kissed him, he’s being over thinking about their relationship that has not happening. He escalate things too quick. And everything is pointing at one long toxic relationship he ever had. Involved two insecure people; Hanbin and his ex… girlfriend.</p><p>Hanbin didn’t talk about this to anyone. Anyone. Because this is one of the lowest point of his life and he’s not letting anyone know about this, not even Junhoe, the closest person to him. “no one, Jun, I’m just insecure, that’s it.”</p><p>“Yeah, why? Why would you jump into a conclusion that any relationships will end up with the two people hurting each other? Samples of real people are actually out there having a happy marriage, or happy relationship, Bin.”</p><p>“I know, I know, I’m just… I had heard about a fail relationships too!’</p><p>“Me too! Everybody had a failed relationship. No big deal!”</p><p>Won came to the room, “Bin, you’re up.”</p><p>Hanbin stood up.</p><p>“Maybe because you never had a serious relationship before, dude.” Junhoe said.</p><p>“Maybe.” Hanbin took his headphones.</p><p>“Came to think of it, I never saw you in a relationship. You’re always in a one night stand with random people… maybe that’s what makes you afraid of an exclusive relationship.”</p><p>Hanbin didn’t answer, he just step out the waiting room quickly. He had a relationship before. It was when he was still 17, three years before he met Junhoe and became friends. Hanbin was in a relationship with this girl, they thought they were deeply in love with each other, they were always together, where there’s Hanbin, there’s his girl. Hanbin thought they can’t live without each other, but the truth is, they can’t trust each other. Any separate moment is an excuse to accused one another for cheating.</p><p>They both are party goers, but then Hanbin trying his luck to be a DJ, and everytime he had a gig, his girl would be there, pinning an eagle eye on him, and every other girls who trying to make a conversation with Hanbin even if it’s just a mere hi is a threat, his girlfriend would be so angry later, she would throw things, she would assault Hanbin with her words, she would even hit him. Hanbin’s girl always said that she has the privilege to be angry because she feels insecure, and she was insecure because she loves him so much. And after 2,5 years in a toxic relationship where happiness no longer a laughter but a minute without them yelling to each other. The girl had to follow his parents moving to another city, and that’s how Hanbin escaped the unhealthy relationship. But since then, Hanbin always refuse a closer companion more than friends.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin get into the apartment at 1.30 am, it’s dark, only one standing lamp in the corner of the living room is on, but there’s a dimmed lights from the master bedroom and Miwa’s room. He went to the guest room where his clothes are, washing up and changing into a comfortable t-shirt and sweat pants then went to the master bedroom. His heart pounding to see Jiwon sleeping soundly inside the thick blanket, but he could see his naked shoulder. Okay, Jiwon really likes sleeping without t-shirt, Hanbin knew that since the first week they moved here, but can he be a little considerate today? It’s gonna be their first, no, their second—uh nope, it’s their third times sharing bed but today is totally different. It’s the first time after they both probably realising their feelings.</p><p>Hanbin sat on the edge of the bed, and the sheer movement of the mattress seems to woke Jiwon.</p><p>“Hey…” his low hoarse voice is the one Hanbin blame right now, because of that Hanbin is now ten times more nervous, “Kimhan… you’re home…” he tapped the space beside him lazily, “come here.”</p><p>Hanbin slowly lying beside him, slipping himself under the blanket where Jiwon is waiting to pull him closer, settle the younger under his chin, let Hanbin breathing on his neck. Hanbin wrap his arm around Jiwon's waist, feeling the warm of his skin.</p><p>“How’s the gig…?”</p><p>“Hm…? Good.” He replied.</p><p>“What you had for dinner?”</p><p>“Uh… burger.”</p><p>“You ate dinner with Won?” Jiwon’s voice is sluggish and Hanbin want him to keep talking because it’s darn sexy.</p><p>“No… I ate alone in agency studio.”</p><p>“Poor you…” he chuckles, “I had dinner with the most beautiful girl.”</p><p>“Who?”</p><p>“Miwa… who else?”</p><p>Hanbin smiles. “What did she had for dinner?”</p><p>“Steamed tofu…”</p><p>“Great…”</p><p>“You don’t wanna know what I had for dinner…?”</p><p>Hanbin snugged further, “what you had for dinner?”</p><p>“Steamed tofu and steamed chicken.”</p><p>“Lazy…” Hanbin murmured. Then he lift his head and looking at Jiwon who had his eyes closed all the time, “enough talking, now sleep.” Hanbin kissed that smiley lips lightly, just enough to fill the missing feeling. Yeah it’s only been hours since their last kiss in the morning and Hanbin already missed it. He sighs. <em>Oh God, what are they?</em></p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>KimHan</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>You don’t have to park the car. pick me and Miwa in the lobby and we’ll go to grocery store.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon saw them from the security gate, Hanbin with a baby carrier, diaper bag on the floor beside him while he’s busy taking selfie with Miwa. The older chuckles, “cute…” he murmured.</p><p>The younger saw Jiwon’s car and he slips his cellphone on his pocket and took the diaper bag. Then he sat next to Jiwon after set Miwa on the baby car seat Lisa borrowed them, Ezra had the new and bigger one.</p><p>“Did it turn good?” Jiwon asked.</p><p>“What?” Hanbin didn’t get what he meant.</p><p>“The pictures, the selfies you took with Miwa.”</p><p>“Oh,” Hanbin took out his cellphone and tapped the gallery icon, “look! It’s cute, Miwa looks so cute!” Jiwon could only glancing at it quick because he’s driving, but he could see Miwa is laughing wide while Hanbin seems to be paying more attention to Miwa rather than looking at the lens.</p><p>“Send it to me!” Jiwon said.</p><p>“H-huh?” Jiwon wants his picture?</p><p>“The one Miwa’s laughing, and the next one, the one she tried to slap your phone.” He said.</p><p>Of course it’s about Miwa. “Okay.” Hanbin tapped some option button and Jiwon feel his cellphone vibrates from new messages.</p><p> </p><p>Miwa refuse the baby carrier, she wants to sit inside the trolley, on the small folded chair for toddler. She’s happily sat the with her chubby feet hanging and keep kicking the air while looking too excited about this supermarket trip. Jiwon push the trolley while Hanbin have a paper with the list on his hand.</p><p>“Breakfast aisle,” he murmured, “wanna try a new muesli?”</p><p>Jiwon shrugged his shoulder.</p><p>“Do you like the one with dried fruits or nuts?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“I like toast with nutella or pancakes with mapple syrup.”</p><p>“Okay, muesli with mixed nuts.” He put the box inside the trolley while laughing because Jiwon is annoyed. Then he stopped in front of a jam sections because he saw something. Diet mapple syrup. Hanbin took it and carefully read the ingridients, “hey look, the sugar is only 0mg per serving. It’s actually a good deal.”</p><p>“Why would I eat an unsweetened syrup?”</p><p>“It’s not unsweetened, they change the sugar into other sweetener…” Hanbin took two brands, and keep reading the ingredients.</p><p>Jiwon joined him, peeking the ingredients from behind the younger, “take the green bottle.” He said.</p><p>“Why?” Hanbin turned to him.</p><p>“It’s healthier.” He replied.</p><p>“How did you know?” Hanbin put the green bottle mapple syrup inside the trolley.</p><p>“They use Xylitol and stevia which both a re natural sweetener. The other one use acesulfame potassium which is chemical.” He pushes the trolley.</p><p>Hanbin is about to ask again but he realised Jiwon is a chemist, of course he knew.</p><p>“Hey, Kimji.” Hanbin said when they’re in the fruit sections, “I think Miwa is allergic to glutten.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Yup come to think of it, she got colic after her birthday where she ate a lot of cakes. Also I had a digestion problems too during those days. Because I’m allergic to glutten too.” He explained.</p><p>“Should we look for anything that is glutten free to cook at home?” Jiwon took banana and Miwa squeal in approval to the banana. “Oh my god… look at this banana enthusiast…” Jiwon laughs and Hanbin smiles while going to the egg racks.</p><p>Less than an hour later they’re home with so many healthy products, glutten free pancakes mix, diet mapple syrup, whole wheat bread for toast, sugar free chocolate spread, a lot of fruits, veggies, some lean meat for the adults, and of course, Miwa’s darling; snack puff, tofu, and dory fish.</p><p>Hanbin helped Jiwon rearrange the fridge while Miwa enjoying her TV time which strictly only two hours a day in the morning and at night before she sleeps. The younger watch Jiwon keeping the flours, cereals, and dry ingredients in the shelfs while keep talking about how expensive is organic products.</p><p>Hanbin just keep his silence while listening, he hates how everything seems too enjoyable. The picnic, the groceries, even their daily activity which include all the hassle about taking care of Miwa is weirdly thrilling.</p><p>And Hanbin hates it. He hates to feel high, because he knew there’s nowhere to go except down.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>It’s been a week since Hanbin’s break down that leads to their first real kiss, although neither of them initiate a conversation of ‘what are we?’, their days sometimes were filled with light kisses and cuddles, and some other times are cuddle with Miwa among them. And for now, it’s seems pretty enough for them.</p><p>“Miwa-yaa… look at this.” Jiwon close the door, threw his shoes—which make Hanbin rolled his eyes, and waved a plastic bag to Miwa.</p><p>Miwa who is sitting at the carpeted floor with a winnie teether in her mouth lift her head and laughing, Hanbin not sure if she’s laughing because Jiwon brought plastic bag filled with her snack puff or because Jiwon is home from afternoon run.</p><p>“Hey, Bin, do you have a gig tomorrow?” Jiwon asked.</p><p>Hanbin who is sitting on the couch turned his head to see Jiwon at the kitchen pouring drink for himself.</p><p>“No, why?”</p><p>Jiwon walked towards Hanbin and threw himself beside the younger, “great, I just had a text from my office that I have to go to Jeju for a conference. The confrence will be on Monday morning so they got me ticket for tomorrow.”</p><p>“You’ll leave to Jeju tomorrow?”</p><p>Jiwon nodded.</p><p>“For how long?”</p><p>“I’ll be here on Wednesday.” He saw the younger slightly nodded, “You’ll be fine, won’t you?”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah…” he nodded.</p><p>“You’ll be alone with Miwa… is it okay?”</p><p>Hanbin nodded again.</p><p>“Or do you wanna come? To Jeju…”</p><p>Hanbin paused, but then he shook hi shead, “No, you’ll be working there… and I don’t want to disturb.”</p><p>“You won’t disturb me.” Jiwon lean his head on Hanbin’s shoulder, “in fact, I’d be happy if you wanna come.”</p><p>“I don’t know, but I don’t think it’s a good idea… I mean… I never really travel with babies.”</p><p>“Right…” Jiwon murmured, “me too…” he sat squared and facing Hanbin, “but will you really be okay?”</p><p>Hanbin laughs, “yes. Only me and Miwa, that’s gonna be awesome!”</p><p>“You’re being sarcastic…”</p><p>“No! hell no,” he slide down to the carpet and pull Miwa to his lap, “we’ll be partying while Kimji away, Miwa-ssi… how cool is thaaat…?”</p><p>“Imjihh…yaaa yaaa im jich…” suddenly she mumbling.</p><p>“Did she just say Kimji??” Jiwon let out a dramatic gasp.</p><p>“Hey Kim Miwa! Say Kim Hanbin… Hanbin… Bin… Binnie…”</p><p>“Biw…” Miwa mumbled.</p><p>“Yes, Hanbinnie… Miwa, Han-bin-nie.”</p><p>“Miphh waaa…”</p><p>Jiwon laugh, “she only know Miwa and Kimji…” Jiwon took Miwa from Hanbin, “hey, say it again, Kimji…”</p><p>“Im cih…”</p><p>“Right, right, my baby…” he snugs to Miwa’s stomach make the kid giggles.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Miw…” Hanbin stopped, “Miw,” he use the nick name from Jiwon which he hates, “Miw, do you miss Jiwon?”</p><p>Miwa squealed beside him.</p><p>“I miss him so much.”</p><p>“Arbwahbwah…” she mumbled in her own language.</p><p>“Hey Miwa, look at me.” He placed Miwa on his lap, made the baby paying attention to him while busy eating her winnie teether. “Do you think I should tell Jiwon that I like him?”</p><p>Miwa tild her head.</p><p>“Do you think Kimji likes me too?”</p><p>“Im jiiih…”</p><p>“yes, Kimji, do you think he likes me?”</p><p>Miwa giggling, “Im jihhh…”</p><p>Hanbin took a deep sharp breath, “I really hope your love life in future is not complicated at all, Miw.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>KimJi</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I’ll arrive in Seoul at 7.15 pm. See u^^</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin peek on the clock, 8.05 pm. He should be home soon, maybe at 8.30 at most. The younger reheat the dish he cooked earlier. Jiwon might be hungry, right? And then he plays with Miwa, or more like Miwa is playing and giggling to the funny monster on the television and Hanbin is there folding her onesies.</p><p>He peeked on the wall clock again, 8.35 pm.</p><p>He stood up and take the container of banchan and kimchii out of the fridge and started to arrange it on a small plates.</p><p>9.00 pm. Miwa started to get sleepy, she’s leaning on Hanbin’s lap while drinking her milk. Hanbin took his cellphone and check on his messages. No new messages.</p><p>
  <em>Should I call him? </em>
</p><p>Hanbin pressed Jiwon’s number but a voicemail answered him.</p><p>9.27 pm. Miwa is sleeping on his lap, Hanbin brought her to her crib, she’s awake and crying so Hanbin had to hold him and hummed her a lullaby until the she fell asleep again.</p><p>Hanbin walked out Miwa’s bedroom, he’s looking at the clock. Is he okay? Hanbin went to the kitchen island, he’s hungry, so he took chopsticks and eat the bulgogi, he doesn’t even bother to take his own plate, he just eat it from the serving dish.</p><p>10.18 pm. Hanbin clean the table, put the kimchi and banchan back to it’s container, and then he sat on the couch, searching news for plane crash, or big accident in the highway. None. “where is he?” Hanbin murmured.</p><p>10.21 pm. The door’s beeping, Hanbin lift his head. Jiwon get into the house with his cabin luggage, and as usual, throwing his shoes and wear his white grey slippers.</p><p>“Bin, you haven’t sleep?” he asked.</p><p>Hanbin furrowed his eyebrows. Jiwon should be home two hours a go, but he’s late and all he said was ‘you haven’t sleep?’ didn’t he owe Hanbin an explanation?</p><p>But then Hanbin taken a back.</p><p>Or maybe no, maybe Jiwon doesn’t owe him anything, Jiwon is just a roommate, they might kissed a few times, well, a lot of times, but Jiwon and him does not tangled in any official relationship. Hanbin had no rights to ask for more.</p><p>“Hanbin…?”</p><p>Hanbin snapped back, “oh, yeah, no, I…” should he said something? Hanbin hate to feel insecure, and this is exactly why he hates realtionship, it produce insecurities. “Nothing.” He murmured.</p><p>“You don’t look fine…”</p><p>“Well, I…” Hanbin inhaled, “I kind of worried because you said you’ll landed at 7 but you got home at uh, 10.30?”</p><p>“What?” Jiwon looked surprised, “but I texted you.”</p><p>“Texted me?” Hanbin took his cellphone, no messages from Jiwon. “where?”</p><p>“I…” Jiwon took his cellphone, “oh shit.” Jiwon show Hanbin his cellphone, he tapped on the top corner of his screen. Airplane mode. “super genius, Kim Jiwon.” He turn off the airplane mode and Hanbin feels vibrates on his cellphone. The younger opened the messages.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>KimJi:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Landed! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>KimJi:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Bin, I’m on the same flight with my boss, he wants to take us for dinner before home :(</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>KimJi:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>[image attached] hee keep on talking! Maaan we’re all exhausting, I wanna go home T__T</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Kimji:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Sleep if you’re tired, but don’t forget to eat your dinner.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I texted you in hurry, that’s why I didn’t checked that the cellular data is still off… I’m sorry.” Jiwon said while Hanbin reading the message.</p><p>Hanbin chuckles, “don’t worry about me… I just, I thought something might happened…” he feels a little silly, “but you’re home! Go have some rest, I’m going to check on Miwa.” He turned his heel around but Jiwon caught his wrist, he twist Hanbin until the younger’s hit his chest.</p><p>“Where are you going?” his face is so close to Hanbin.</p><p>“Uh, checking on Miwa…” lame excuse but might work.</p><p>“But I missed you.” His voice low and whiny.</p><p>Hanbin looking at the older’s eyes, “I…”</p><p>“You don’t?” Jiwon’s eyes move to his lips.</p><p>“I… missed you too.”</p><p>Jiwon crooked his lips, smirking before tilting his head and claim the younger’s lips, he pushed Hanbin until he hits the bar stool, Jiwon keep pushing him so Hanbin sat on the stools and got his leg around Jiwon instinctively. Hanbin’s fingers carding the older’s hair, while Jiwon’s hands clawing on each of his waist. And Hanbin’s position right now giving them access to the growing erections down there, where the friction made them groaned.</p><p>“Hanbin…” Jiwon brethlessly calling his name.</p><p>“Hmm…?”</p><p>He pull away from his lips, “Hey…” he whispers.</p><p>Hanbin slowly opening hie eyes.</p><p>“What are we?”</p><p>Hanbin blinking, the curve in his throat bobbing, he really don’t know what to say. What are they? Hanbin want them to be a couple, but is he ready for that? Can they be a couple? They’re in-laws, can in-laws having a relationship? Is there any rules about that?</p><p>Jiwon observing the look in Hanbin’s eyes and his heart sank, Hanbin took a little too long to answer, and there’s millions uncertainty in his eyes. He’s gonna deny him. Jiwon thoughts. Hanbin only want the stringless relationship. He doesn’t want him the way he wants Hanbin.</p><p>“Bin, it’s okay if you can’t, if you don’t want—me…”</p><p>Hanbin couldn’t say anything, but he feels stupid when Jiwon pull away from him. There’s a smile on the older’s face but that wasn’t a smile, that was just Jiwon trying to tug his lips up.</p><p>Maybe Hanbin should try to be less over thinking.</p><p>Hanbin watch him walking away. <em>Maybe I should try to be less over thinking</em>. “I like you.” He said.</p><p>Jiwon stopped and turned around, “You what?”</p><p>“I like you.” He repeated, “I want to date you. I-I don’t know what are we, but I want to date you… if you’re agree.”</p><p>Jiwon scoffed but he went to Hanbin who still sitting on the bar stool, “I agree.” He said, then he leans in and gently kisses the younger’s moist lips, few slow rhythm before they pull apart but their forehead stays connected. Jiwon let out a chuckles, before closing his eyes when Hanbin kissing him again. They unable to contain themselves, Jiwon holds the younger nape tightly, pulls him closer into a fiery and passionate kiss while the younger’s hand work their way along Jiwon’s body, along his perfect physique.</p><p>Jiwon pushed him further, brushing each other’s lips, their breathing’s shallow and shaky, body’s against each others, hands venturing each others curves, they exploring.</p><p>“Do you want to move to bed?” Jiwon’s voice wavers, probably exhilarated from the tension.</p><p>Hanbin nodded.</p><p>They won’t do it in master bedroom, not with the connecting door is wide opened and Miwa is on the other side of the wall, so Jiwon pull him to the guest room. Jiwon close the door, but not completely, just so they could hear if suddenly Miwa awake.</p><p>They staring at each other with Hanbin’s back against the wall. Their eyes is full of wonder, curiosity, and something romantic. They speak no words but their mind allign. The feeling’s overwhelming, because now all they want to say is sweet promises. But Hanbin stopped all the thinking with leaning forward, enveloping his lips between the older male, teasing him with tongue licking along his lower lips, it made Jiwon moaning.</p><p>“Want you so bad…” Jiwon whispers.</p><p>“Uh-hm…” Hanbin kissed his neck, “want you too… <em>hyung</em>.” He bites Jiwon’s ear and Jiwon lost it.</p><p>He cursed, cursed at his self control because now he’s throwing Hanbin to the bed, carelessly undressing himself and demand the younger to do the same. He crawls above Hanbin and kiss his lips intensely. “How you want hyung to take you…? Huh?”</p><p>Hanbin bite his lips, but before he could answer..</p><p>Miwa’s crying sound piercing the night.</p><p>Hanbin release a frustration grunts, “take me however you want, but minus the screaming baby.” He pushes Jiwon to the side and went towards Miwa’s room.</p><p>She’s awake, wide awake. She was pouting her lips down while reaching at Hanbin. He lifted her up and feel her temperature is a little high.</p><p>“Ji…” hanbin went to the guest room where Jiwon still on the bed, half naked. “I think Miwa got some fever.”</p><p>“Really? Why? What happened?” he sat up.</p><p>“Another teething, I guess, because she keeps on putting her hands inide her mouth.”</p><p>“Should I get her any medicine?”</p><p>“I don’t think so…” Hanbin slowly bouncing so Miwa gets comfortable. “but I think I’m gonna sleep with her.”</p><p>“Oh…” Jiwon paused, “I wanna sleep with her too.”</p><p>“We’re gonna crushed her…” Hanbin said.</p><p>Jiwon sharply exhaled, “remind me to buy a bigger bed.”</p><p>Hanbin chuckles before disappear into the master bedroom.</p><p>Jiwon covered his eyes with his forearm, heavy sighs released. Unfinished business bulging down there, but he’s happy. Today he feels various emotion at once. But at least, today he’s officially dating Kim Hanbin.</p><p> </p><p>-</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The Green Eyed Monster</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>in which the boys dealing with rage and jealousy</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello!! so, i changed YunSoo kids' name from Yoojin into Haru, why? because it was his original name before i changed it into Yoojin and i (unconsciously) always typed Haru instead of Yoojin. so i decided to changed everything (from the beginning). and i think in the future it will be cuter when Miwa gang up with the boys: Ezra and Haru.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t dreaming when Hanbin said he wants to date Jiwon, was he?</p><p>Jiwon open his eyes, the bright morning welcomed him, but when he reached for the other side of the bed, he found nothing. His heart sank a little but then he remembered Miwa ruined their first night as a couple.</p><p>Jiwon scoffed, but then he sat up and stretched before walking towards the master bedroom where Hanbin is sleeping.</p><p>The younger is still sleeping with Miwa beside him, well not really beside him because Miwa is sleeping with her little feet on Hanbin’s chest, and her hand on Hanbin’s face. She’s not inside the blanket at all, and it amazed Jiwon how Hanbin doesn’t seem disturbed by it.</p><p>Jiwon sat on the edge of the bed while watching them. Watching how Hanbin and Miwa share identical pout in their sleep.</p><p>Ugh too cute!</p><p>“Good morning, Miwa-ssi… how’s your fever?” Jiwon snuggling beside Miwa. Miwa stays immobile but her body temp looks good. “Miwa-ssi…”</p><p>“Don’t disturbed her… she woke up at least four times last night…” Hanbin replied with a bed voice, his eyes closed.</p><p>“But she’s fine now?”</p><p>Hanbin murmuring something and Jiwon tae it as a yes.</p><p>Jiwon kissed Miwa before move to the other side of the bed, “may I disturbed Miwa’s Kimhan instead?” he made Hanbin the little spoon.</p><p>“Hmm…” Hanbin scoot over to give him space and let him hug him tighter, “yeah you may…”</p><p>Jiwon slips his hand under his t-shirt, caressing Hanbin’s stomach while snuggling into his nape.</p><p>“No funny business because I’m too sleepy.”</p><p>Jiwon scoffed, “I just wanna stay like this because your skin is warm.” Jiwon murmured.</p><p>“m’kay.” Hanbin drift off again and they stayed like that for an hour before Miwa woke up.</p><p>The baby sat up and saw her Kimji and Kimhan is hugging each other, and her little jealous ass climbed Hanbin and stayed on top of him, trying her best to squeeze in the middle of the two.</p><p>“What are you doing Miwa-ssiii…” Jiwon lowly grunts because Miwa is practically clinging above them.</p><p>“She wants attention…” Hanbin muffled, both of them are still half sleepy and doesn’t really mind the 12 kg baby atop of them.</p><p>“Miffwaaa…” she mumbled.</p><p>Hanbin and Jiwon continue sleeping.</p><p>“MIFWWAAAAA…” Miwa shouts on their ear.</p><p>“My Godness, Kim Miwa.” Jiwon open his eyes, “What we said about yelling in the house??”</p><p>Hanbin giggles, “what? What we said about that? Did we have rule about that?”</p><p>Jiwon paused, “uh, no… we haven’t talked about that yet.”</p><p>Hanbin laughs, he rubbed his eyes and put Miwa between him and Jiwon before stretched his body, “aaaahhh… good morning Miwa…” he bend down and kiss Miwa, then he lift his face and reach Jiwon, “morning, Kimji.” He peck the older lips.</p><p>Jiwon grinning, “morning, Kimhan.”</p><p>“Cook me breakfast?”</p><p>Jiwon grunts.</p><p>“Please?” Hanbin pouts.</p><p>“Not fair.” Jiwon jumped off the bed and Miwa immediately extend her hands, reaching Jiwon. “No, Miw, you stay here with Kimhan, I’m going to cook breakfast.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“So, you’re mr. Kim Jiwon’s cousins?” Chanwoo open his notes.</p><p>“No, I’m Kim Hanbin’s cousins. We’re cousins from my mother’s side, and my father is a Park, that’s why I’m Park Roseanne.” She smiles.</p><p>“Alright, and you’ve been married for…?”</p><p>“Two years.” She’s smiling again.</p><p>“May I know your occupation?” Chanwoo asked.</p><p>“Me and my husband are teacher, we’re teacher in Daegu Children Music Academy.” Rose explained, “We both vocal and piano teacher, we’re really close to children…” she added a friendly chuckles.</p><p>“You both still very young and the marriage is still young too, don’t you consider having your own kids in the future?”</p><p>“Well…” Rose glacing at her husband, Park Chanyeol.</p><p>“Rose has myoma,” Chanyeol clasped his hands with Rose’s, “Not the dangerous one, non-cancerous tumor… that’s what the doctors said, but it’s agonna be a little difficult for us to have kids—even tho it’s not impossible—but it’s harder than normal people.”</p><p>Chanwoo nodded, observing the couple, “and how close you are to Miwa’s parents?”</p><p>“I met Jian eonnie few times, I think she’s very assertive and she didn’t talk much, but I’m pretty close to Haneul oppa because he’s very nice, a very warm person… a bit different to his brother, Hanbin, Hanbin is colder, don’t you think so, Mr. Jung? You met Hanbin, haven’t you?”</p><p>Chanwoo creased his eyebrows, “Hanbin? Kim Hanbin?”</p><p>“Yes, Haneul oppa’s brother, the one live with Miwa right now.”</p><p>Chanwoo paused, Hanbin is Haneul little brother? He didn’t know this. “What about his husband?”<br/>“Hanbin has a husband??” Rose popped her eyes out.</p><p>“Kim Jiwon.” Chanwoo said.</p><p>“Ah, Kim Jiwon is not his husband, it’s Jian eonnie’s little brother.” Rose chuckles while turning to her husband, “you hear that, hun? Hanbin married to Jiwon? Hahaha…”</p><p>“Hanbin had a girlfriend, right?”</p><p>“Ah, that girl? No, they broke up. And I know Hanbin’s bisexual, hun, I think he dates his fellow DJ. The one he has on his social media before he deactivate all.”</p><p>“The good looking tall guy?”</p><p>The couple talking while Chanwoo pull out his cellphone and text the lawyer.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon close is eyes, it feels a bit warm. He checked on his temperature. 36.9 celcius, not high at all but he feels drained.</p><p>“You’re early.”Hanbin said when he saw Jiwon stepped out the room already in his suit. “I made japchae but it hasn’t done.”</p><p>“It’s okay” he took a toast which already half bitten, must be Hanbin’s “Apotechary Director wants to see us all, general meeting I guess.” He sat on the bar stools, Miwa sat on her own baby chair peacefully eating the snack puff, “morning Miwa-ssi…” Jiwon kissed her.</p><p>“Your coffee.” Hanbin slide a black coffee no sugar on the table, “want some diet sugar?”</p><p>Jiwon shook his head, “I’m just gonna looking at you, that’s gonna be sweet enough.”<br/>“Stop it,” Hanbin turned to Jiwon, “I’m this close to swearing at you in front of Miwa.”</p><p>Jiwon laughs, “why?”</p><p>“Don’t do anything cringey, Kimji, I can’t stand it.”</p><p>Jiwon keep laughing until Miwa follows.</p><p>The older watch Hanbin frying some ingredients, still very clumsy since he’s so far from good at cooking but he’s trying and it’s adorable. Miwa is noisy beside him, talking in her own language while sometimes calling her own name.</p><p>“She’s so self centered, even her first word is her own name.” Hanbin scoffed.</p><p>“What do you expect? She’s calling our names?” Jiwon asked, “well, she said Kimji once.”</p><p>Hanbin didn’t replied,</p><p>“Most babies will say ‘mom’, or ‘mama’, or ‘eomma’. Some other will call their fathers. But Miwa doesn’t have them both, she has all the rights to be selfish and call her own name.” Jiwon continued.</p><p>Hanbin still didn’t say anything.</p><p>Jiwon watch his back, “Kimhan?”</p><p>“Hm?” he’s still busy stiring his japchae.</p><p>“Do you really okay if one day Miwa found her foster parents?”</p><p>He stops stiring. But then after short awkward second, he continue stiring the food he cooks.</p><p>They both drown in silence, only Miwa still mumbling her name.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you for watching Miwa while I’m working out.” Hanbin took the baby from Lisa’s arm.</p><p>“Pleasure!” Lisa smiles, she has Ezra running beside her and Haru inside the stroller. “I always love babysitting! Crazy, isn’t it?”</p><p>Hanbin chuckles. They walked from the small park where Hanbin had his afternoon run and Lisa had a picnic with all babies. Jisoo ask Lisa to watch Haru while she helped Yunhyeong with some emergencies in his noodle shop.</p><p>“Look at us,” Lisa pointed at their reflection on a store display, “we’re like a messed up family with too much kids.”</p><p>Hanbin laughs, Hanbin in track suit and Lisa in oversized shirt and short pants, they do look like couple who doesn’t have time for themselves because they have three kids. Hanbin took his cellphone and snap some pictures to show Jiwon because he thinks it’s funny.</p><p>They entered the apartment area with Lisa pushing Haru’s stroller, and Hanbin carrying Miwa and his hand holding Ezra.</p><p>“That’s Jiwon’s car.” Hanbin said when he saw a black SUV entering the apartment lobby. “Miwa-ssii… Kimji’s home…”</p><p>But then he saw someone that is not Jiwon jumped off of the driver seat. Dr. Kim Jinwoo.</p><p>Hanbin stops.</p><p>
  <em>What is he doing?</em>
</p><p>Jiwon get off from the passenger seat and halts when he saw Hanbin.</p><p>“Hanbin…” he said, dr. Kim turned to see him too, “Miwaa…” he extend his arms making Miwa jolting from the baby carrier.</p><p>Hanbin had to stepping closer to them to give Miwa to Jiwon but he keeps silent. There is really nothing to say, Hanbin feels defeated enough to see dr. Kim, while he’s in tracksuit, sweaty from working out, messy hair, bare face, with some acne scars that shows how human he is, dr. Kim looks like more like some imaginary prince character from movies.</p><p>“Hey, Bin…” Jiwon lean closer but Hanbin swayed.</p><p>“Jiwonnie—Kim Jiwon-ssi fainted at work, he was sent to ER while I’m there and I think it’s best for him not to drive home by himself. So I offer him a hand…”</p><p>
  <em>Jiwonnie.</em>
</p><p>“What happened…?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“I got a low blood sugar, no biggie, Bin.” Jiwon replied.</p><p>“Low blood sugar? But you’re diabetic…”</p><p>“He’s at risk or we called this prediabetes, and people who still at risk doesn’t really have to strictly control their sugar level, they need to be careful but cutting all sugar will only ruin the insulin production. I’m sure Jiwon understand about this, but Jiwon told my nurse said that he changed all his food into diet products… which for me, it’s unnecessary.” Jinwoo put a nicest smile on his face, or maybe all his smiles are nice and perfect.</p><p>Hanbin bitterly smiles, “Thank you.” But he can’t control he’s face right now, and he doesn’t want Jiwon to feel uncomfortable because he’s looking like a overly jealous partner, so he bid himself off and walked towards the elevator before Jiwon could call him.</p><p>Jinwoo looking at Hanbin disappear from his sight before turned to Jiwon, “I already order a taxi.” He said.</p><p>Jiwon nodded.</p><p>“Who’s her name?”</p><p>“Miwa, Kim Miwa.”</p><p>“Kim Miwa…” Jinwoo smiles then turn to Jiwon, “Do you know, Jiwon? The reason I can’t continue our relationship was because I really want kids in the future… and, and we both know we can’t… but…” he took a deep breathe, “if only I know life gonna be like this to you, and you’ll have Miwa… I might gonna stay, because however I was trully in love with you.”</p><p>Jiwon didn’t say anything.</p><p>“We could be together and we have a daughter, how perfect is that?”</p><p>Jinwoo was his first love, the first guy he tried everything new, the first one gave him comfort after living alone for years, after losing his parents. Jiwon gazing at the pavements.</p><p>“Hey my taxi’s here.”</p><p>He lift his head, “Oh, okay, Thank you… dr. Kim.”</p><p>Jinwoo smiles. “Ey, dr. Kim? Really?”</p><p>Jiwon chuckles, “thanks… hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t tell me that you’re sick.” Hanbin sat on the kitchen bar stools.</p><p>“It’s not a big deal, I promise.” He put Miwa down and let her crawl away then he went to Hanbin and claim his lips, “You’re worried?”</p><p>Hanbin didn’t kiss him back, “can you watch Miwa?” he jumped off the stools and wear his shoes.</p><p>“Where are you going?”</p><p>“Uh, working out.” He stepped out the house.</p><p>“…but you just—“ Jiwon paused, and he sighs when he saw all their diet and gluten free products are in a plastic bag next to the trash bin.</p><p> </p><p>_</p><p> </p><p>Junhoe open his studio in the agency building and found Hanbin outside, “B.I…”</p><p>“It’s my ex girlfriend.”</p><p>“Who?”</p><p>“Who destroyed me, who made me looking at every relationship as a privilege to ruin each other’s…”</p><p>Junhoe let his jaw hang, “oh, oh! Oh that! Okay… came in.”</p><p>He opened a can of beer for Hanbin and join him sitting on the couch.</p><p>“You wanna tell me what is this all about?”</p><p>“She was my first love, but what we had is not something sweet to remember… our relationship was nothing but toxic, it was full of insecurities, and she was the one turned me into someone timid. And I really don’t want to be someone like that again in this relationship.”</p><p>“What makes you saying that? Does something happened between you and Jiwon?”</p><p>Hanbin sighs, he told Junhoe when they met on his gig few days a go, he told him about how he finally encourage himself to step into a relationship with Jiwon.</p><p>“I…” he stops, sipping his beer but at the same time buy himself sometimes because he doesn’t know where to start, “So, uh, Jiwon was sick… he fainted at his workplace and… and he went home, drove by his ex.” Hanbin explained, “I, I’m here now because I need to be away from him or I’ll explode… Jun, help me! I know there might nothing between them or I don’t know, maybe they still love each other, but i—“</p><p>“Whoa, whoa wait, stop right there, dude, you just doubting him, and that’s not how a healthy relationship works.”</p><p>“Can’t I??” Hanbin raised his voice, “he didn’t tell me he was sick and he suddenly home with his ex, how am I supposed to react? Ask him to stay for dinner?”</p><p>“I don’t know, maybe?”</p><p>“Oh, them let him stay forever?” Hanbin push himself further to the couch, “you should see Jiwon’s ex, he’s so beautiful.”</p><p>“What about you? You have a fanpage out there, a special page dedicated to DJ B.I, and you don’t consider yourself beautiful?” Junhoe scoffed, “Geez, why did I even slept with you if you’re ugly?” he murmured.</p><p>“Seriously?”</p><p>Junhoe rolled his eyes, “where have you been?”</p><p>Hanbin grunts.</p><p>“Have you talked to Jiwon?”</p><p>“No, not yet, I need sometimes away from him first.” Hanbin sips his beer again.</p><p>Suddenly his cellphone beeped.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>KimJi:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Where are you?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>KimHan:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>My agency</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He replied short and fast and throw his cellphone away, ignoring Jiwon’s message.</p><p> </p><p>_</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>KimJi:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>You want me to pick you up? Miwa is with Lisa now. She told me to have dinner with you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon waiting for his reply but Hanbin doesn’t replied. So he took his car key and heading to the agency building.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Damn it! Why maybe I shouldn’t jump into any relationship at all!”</p><p>Junhoe scoffed, “and keep messing up with your fuck buddies?”</p><p>“I don’t have fuck buddies.” Hanbin staring at him sharply, he took his cellphone, still ignoring Jiwon’s message. He stood up and decided to go home. In his defense, Miwa needs her.</p><p>“You have me. We fucked. Several times. And we’re buddies.” Junhoe tilt his head, mocking him.</p><p>Hanbin snorted. “It was hundred years a go. And only a couple times.”</p><p>“But does it really feel different?” Junhoe asked while walked out the agency building towards the parking lot.</p><p>Hanbin nodded.</p><p>“You slept with him?”</p><p>“No,” Hanbin replied, “not yet.”</p><p>“Then how you knew??”</p><p>“Well…” he murmured, “his presence and his kisses feels different.”</p><p>Junhoe laughing then he pulled Hanbin’s arm, swing it so Hanbin facing him. “I’m gonna kiss you and you gonna feel if it’s just the same feeling then don’t continue dating him, but if my kiss taste bland now… you can date him for real, and please fuck him.” Hanbin looking up to the blonde, about to protest when Junhoe lean forwards and kiss him, his lips parting and capturing Hanbin’s lips, like asking him to open up so they can kiss deeper but Hanbin pull away. Junhoe’s kiss don’t do anything to his heart, no extra pound, no butterflies.</p><p>“Junhoe! What the—“ he slightly turned because there’s someone standing not far from them. Hanbin’s eyes widened when he saw Jiwon, “Jiwon??”</p><p>His jaw tense, both hands inside the jacket pockets but it form a strong fists. His eyes sharply pierced over Hanbin’s skull.</p><p>Slowly Hanbin shook his head, “great.”</p><p> </p><p>“Jiwon, I can explain.” He followed him to the car.</p><p>“Hm? Why would you explain?” he get into his car and slam the door.</p><p>Hanbin get into the passenger seat, “What?”</p><p>“Why? Why would you explain?” Jiwon keep his gaze pinning on the street while driving.</p><p>Hanbin really don’t know what to say, well, what can he say? Should he keep explaining? Because Jiwon’ statement made him a fool if he still trying to explain. “You don’t wanna know why Junhoe kiss me?”</p><p>“I don’t care, you and him might sleep together behind my back… or oh, sorry, does it require any dating to kiss or sleep with you? Because I’m the one dating you but I we haven’t even done anything, and you’re hang around kissing people… haha.”</p><p>Hanbin paused, “really? Seriously? That’s how much a whore I am in your eyes?”</p><p>“I don’t know, you’re the one who told me that, remember?” Jiwon stays in his flat tone voice, “the wild nights, the morning woke up with a complete strangers.”</p><p>“I said that was me long time a go! Now I don’t even drink when I was working! I even don’t drink when I am <em>not</em> working!” Hanbin raised his voice while Jiwon stay still, “I told Junhoe I like you and—“</p><p>“Hanbin stop.” Jiwon inhaled, in a way he’s frustrating of talking to a stubborn kid, “I really don’t care about what happened between you and Junhoe.”</p><p>“You don’t?” Hanbin’s tone back to normal, a bit lower than normal, “you really don’t care?”</p><p>Jiwon shook his head, “nope.”</p><p>“After everything? You really don’t care?”</p><p>Jiwon didn’t replied.</p><p>“Because I don’t give a damn if you’re saying you don’t care out of anger or jealousy, I’m gonna take it seriously, I’m gonna think you really don’t care about me. And I’m gonna stop caring about you too!!”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon open the apartment door, he grabbed Hanbin’s arm and threw him inside. Hanbin hit the wall, Jiwon pressed him up, pinned him on the wall.</p><p>“You’re mine!!” Jiwon shouts, his body is inch away from the younger, his gaze looking down stabbing Hanbin’s eyes, “don’t you dare to fuck around behind my back, Kim Hanbin…” his voice low and hoarse.</p><p>Hanbin’s breathing short and waver, Jiwon in front of him is not Jiwon he knew, his eyes darken by rage.</p><p>Hand feels burning in the younger’s cheek, Jiwon caressing him there then he tilt his head and he’s kissing him senseless there, Hanbin barely reply the kisses, it was all too fast, too rough. And then the older pull and throw him to the couch, harshly pull the younger’s sweater off and throw it away, then his hands aiming his jeans, unbutton it quickly before tugging it off, all with his mouth still kissing Hanbin whenever, whenever his lips landed.</p><p>Hanbin is panting, gasping air while Jiwon bruising his skin, leaving marks here and there, sometimes back to his lips, kissing him madly.</p><p>“Do you really gonna fuck me like this, Ji?” he asked. His voice is shaky and Jiwon ignore him, still proceeding to fully undress him, “Are you gonna screw me just because you’re jealous? Because you’re blindly angry?” his voice thin, “I was jealous too when I saw you and dr. Kim! I was angry! But do I confront you? Yelling at you? Telling that I don’t care about you?” he doesn’t sounds mad, he sounded… sad.</p><p>Jiwon slowing his pace, pull away a bit to see the younger’s face and he saw his eyes full of fear, not lust.</p><p>“I thought our first sexual encounter will not be like this. Not because you’re in need to claim me… but because you want me…”</p><p>There he is, Hanbin, laid on the couch, flushed. Red dots from Jiwon’s attempt of biting and sucking stained his milky white skin, everywhere in his skin. The younger’s eyes wide open, looking at him with so much disappointment.</p><p><em>Did I just trying to rape, Hanbin?</em> Jiwon’s heart sank. He just hurt someone he cares, just because he refuse to listen, just because he prefer his pride and ego.</p><p>Jiwon threw away the jeans in his hand then drown his face between his palm, his elbow on his thigh, propping himself. “Fuck… Bin, did I just trying to rape you?”</p><p>“Oh my God! No…” Hanbin sat up beside him, he caresses the older’s back then he lean to his shoulder, “No, Jiwon… no…”</p><p>He feels Jiwon’s hands trembling from various emotions.</p><p>“Junhoe’s a friend… trust me, he kissed me to help me know that the kiss I had with you feels different with any other kisses… it’s not an excuse you wanna hear, of course, it’s freaking silly and sounds trump up, but when you getting to know Junhoe, one day you’ll understand his way of thinking… he’s not an average person.” Hanbin whispers, then he plant a kiss on the older’s arm. “I’m sorry for making you mad.”</p><p>Jiwon still burying his face on his palms, and Hanbin kissed his temple, hugging the older, peppering kisses while keep saying sorry.</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon turned his head towards the younger. His gaze met Hanbin’s. the younger smile, “can you forgive me?” he whispers.</p><p>Jiwon reach his face, cup his jaw and running his thumb on Hanbin’s cheekbone, “can <em>you</em> forgive me?”</p><p>Hanbin’s smile getting wider, “for calling me a whore?”</p><p>“I didn’t say that. You said that to yourself!” Jiwon said with a hint of smile on the corner of his lips.</p><p>Hanbin chuckles, he leaned his forehead on Jiwon’s cheek, “hmm, okay.”</p><p>Jiwon pull him into his hug, let the younger’s face settled on his neck. “I never want to claim you that way, Bin…” his voice barely above whisper, “I want you so much it blinded me… the feeling’s scary, I have no control over it…”</p><p>Hanbin closed his eyes, inhaling scent from Jiwon’s neck, “I don’t mind you get jealous, or get angry over something… but let’s make sure we talk about it with a cold head.”</p><p>Jiwon remember their very first clash, when he yelled at Hanbin for using headphone with a maximum volume which made him unable hear that Miwa was crying, Jiwon even cursed at him in front of Miwa. Hanbin ran outside the building for half an hour just so they both could calm down the heat. Hanbin is not the protagonist and Jiwon is not the antagonist, Hanbin roared too if he need it, but he’s not fighting fire with fire, and Jiwon loves him for that. “keep reminding me about it okay? I know I’m not good at that… but I don’t wanna lose you over my edginess.”</p><p>Jiwon feels Hanbin’s lip stretched into a wide smile on his neck, “all I hear is you don’t wanna lose me?”</p><p>Jiwon chuckles, “no, not you, not Miwa…”</p><p>“You know what…” Hanbin murmured and Jiwon humming a ‘hm’ to let him proceed. Hanbin snuggling closer, “Jiwon.”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Where’s Miwa?”</p><p>Jiwon shrugged his shoulder, “told her to hang out with her friends, and not disturb us.”</p><p>“Hm…” Hanbin raised his eyebrows.</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“What so?”</p><p>“We’re alone, no Miwa, and you’re 90% naked…”</p><p>“Ugh forget it, Kimji!”Hanbin took his pants and leave to the room.</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon laughs to see Hanbin sulking, he might not get into the bed with Hanbin today but he learn a lot. And today he promise himself not to lose Hanbin over a silly matter, or any matters at all.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>-</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Osaka pt. 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>which they start to have the real talk and Hanbin meet a surprise person.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HAPPY RAYA Y'ALL!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Jiwon and Hanbin sat across the lawyer and mr. Jung.</p><p>“This is not entirely their fault, it was a reckless decision I took because nobody agree if Miwa has to live in orphanage while waiting for her foster parents.</p><p>Mr. Jung let out a soft sigh, “this observation becomes irrelevant, sir.” He said to the lawyer, “it was clearly written in the will that both, the late mr. and mrs. Kim wants the daughter, Kim Miwa to be commended to close family.” He said to Jiwon and Hanbin.</p><p>“They have their own reason why they can’t adopt Miwa…” the lawyer replied.</p><p>“Then hand over a letter of incapacity.” Mr. Jung sharply exhaled, “lying is never an option!” he’s glancing at the boys, “Married couple…” he scoffed.</p><p>They all keep silent for a moment before mr. Jung spoke,</p><p>“Mr. Kim, and mr. Kim,” he said, “just make the letter and I’ll look for the other foster parents, I promise Miwa will live with you until she found new home.”</p><p>“Can’t we just be her parents?” Jiwon said.</p><p>“Ji…” Hanbin shook his head.</p><p>“Why?” Jiwon asked, “why not?”</p><p>“Miwa is a human, not a cat… we need to take care of it until she grown up, we have to pay for her school, medical insurance, and other expenses…”</p><p>“I know! And we both working, we can handle that.”</p><p>“What about family of your own in the future?” mr. Jung asked. “aren’t you both gonna date someone, get married and planning on having your own family?”</p><p>“We—“</p><p>“Yeah, we should think about that too.” Hanbin cut Jiwon’s answer, “would you give us time?”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“I thought you love Miwa…” Jiwon murmured, they just arrived at home.</p><p>“What makes you think I don’t love her?” Hanbin asked, he closed the door, take off his shoes, tidy up Jiwon’s shoes with Miwa in his arm.</p><p>“You’re giving her away!”</p><p>“Jiwon, would you please calm down?” Hanbin put Miwa inside her baby fence, “do you realised how expensive a baby is?”</p><p>“But I’m working and you too! What’s the problem?” Jiwon scoffed.</p><p>“I am my own problem.” Hanbin replied.</p><p>Jiwon paused, he’s looking at the younger. He’s his own problem? What does it mean? Is it about their relationship?</p><p>“I don’t have that much money to raise a kid.” He murmured.</p><p>The younger boy didn’t stare back when Jiwon is looking at him. There is something like an uncomfortable knot in his stomach. They never really talk about it. The groceries, when they went shopping together Jiwon would pay but there were also few times where Hanbin would do groceries on his own while Jiwon is at work. The house expenses, the building had trimesters payment method for service and charges and looks like their late siblings took care of it so it hasn’t become an issue, but soon it will be something they have to discuss. Miwa’s expenses… Hanbin was right, Miwa is not a cat who doesn’t need school, clothes, and other expenses, she needs to be taken care of until she’s fully grown up.</p><p>“What about me, Bin, you have me…” Jiwon finally spoke.</p><p>Hanbin let out a sharp breathe, “I…” he sighs, “let’s talk about it tomorrow okay? I’m really tired, I’m gonna take a shower and cook dinner for Miwa.”</p><p>Hanbin left to the guest room while Jiwon stays in the living room with the baby who’s playing with her favorite spatula.</p><p> </p><p>Miwa is sleeping soundly in her room, Jiwon just done taking shower. He’s drying his hair with towel while watching the sleeping Hanbin, he’s is still as attractive as ever, his milky white skin is flawless, but something draw Jiwon’s attention, Hanbin’s shoulder is too boney.</p><p>
  <em>Is it always like that?</em>
</p><p>As far as he could remember, Hanbin’s chest and shoulder is board and wrapped by lean muscles but he looks skinnier now.</p><p>Suddenly Jiwon snapped by other thought. The answer of Hanbin’s hesitation in adopting Miwa. Maybe it’s not only the money, maybe Hanbin is tired of the role he’s doing everyday. Jiwon remember how Hanbin said Jiwon is so lucky because he got few hour everyday for himself while Hanbin has to taking care of Miwa hour by hour.</p><p>A guilt sneaks, slipping between his ribcage. He had time for himself everyday at the office, he had time to go out having lunch with his co-workers. But Jiwon doesn’t even know if Hanbin had time for himself, did Hanbin go out with his friends? Who is Hanbin’s friends beside Junhoe?</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Happy anniversary.” Hanbin gave Jisoo and Yunhyeong a box of desserts.</p><p>It’s Saturday afternoon and the boys plus Miwa received an invitation to go to Yun’s noodle bar to celebrate his wedding anniversary with Jisoo. All neighbours are there.</p><p>“Thank you Miwa daddies, and Miwa.” Jisoo kissed Miwa’s chubby cheek and she giggled, “Haru is there at the baby fence I brought from home, put the babies there so we adults can enjoy the party.” She winks.</p><p>“Thanks noona.” Hanbin smiles.</p><p>“Give her to me, I‘ll put her there, you go and enjoy the party.” Jiwon said.</p><p>Hanbin only raised his eyebrows, Jiwon is too handy today.</p><p>Jiwon went to the baby fence in the corner with a lot of toys, Ezra also there watching some videos from youtube.</p><p>“You shouldn’t let Ezra watch too much youtube videos.” Jiwon said, he sat beside Lisa who is spoon feeding Ezra.</p><p>“It’s his veggies day, and it’s the only way to make him eat without any extended drama.” Lisa grinned.</p><p>“Is it hard?” Jiwon asked.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“To be a mother… to take the housewife role completely… to be with Ezra 24/7?” Jiwon continued.</p><p>Lisa tilt her head, asking Jiwon to explain further.</p><p>“Do you have a life beside being Ezra’s mother? Like, uh, going out with friends… go shopping, or to nail salon, hair salon… you know.”</p><p>Lisa chuckles, “No, and that’s because I love babysitting so much! I love babies and kids… but I still going out tho, with my family, three of us, me, Donghyuk, and Ezra.”</p><p>“What about friends? Do you have friends?”</p><p>Lisa laughs, “I do! Well, you know, I’m married to Donghyuk in my first year of college, he got me pregnant,” Lisa laughs, “I had Ezra when I just turning 20, I thought I’m gonna lose my youth, but I think I don’t mind losing it for Ezra… what I would mind if I missed Ezra’s growth just because I’m too busy with my own life.”</p><p>Jiwon listening.</p><p>“But Jisoo eonnie is often going out with her friends tho… she always bring Haru with him, even if she didn’t bring Haru along, she’ll come home earlier than other friends just because she misses him.” Lisa turning to Jiwon, “what is it about, oppa? Why you suddenly asked?”</p><p>Jiwon snorts, “why you call me oppa?”</p><p>“We’re close now! You and Hanbin is my oppa!” Lisa snickered.</p><p>“How did you know we’re older than you?”</p><p>“You don’t? you look a lot older than me.”</p><p>Jiwon scoffed.</p><p>“Hey, so what is it about? Why you suddenly asking me about all those things? You missed you freedom or what?”</p><p>Jiwon shook his head, “Hanbin is always at home with Miwa, I’m afraid that he feels burdened but he didn’t say it.”</p><p>“What makes you think that way?”</p><p>Jiwon couldn’t tell Lisa everything, about Miwa’s adoption problems and all that. So he shrugged his shoulders, “he never complained but I just feel bad for him…”</p><p>“You’re very sweet…” Lisa said, “Donghyuk helped me with houseworks sometimes… well, you know that he’s an architect right? And he works from home most of the time, but there are times where he had to go out of town, or visit a new building site… that’s why in every household, you gotta have roles, and it’s all based on agreement, doesn’t matter if it’s a hetero family or not.”</p><p>Jiwon mentally sighs, he knew it will be hard for him and Hanbin to decide the role.</p><p>“Uh, what about the money?”</p><p>Lisa turned to Jiwon, “Money?”</p><p>“Yeah, you know…”</p><p>“Donghyuk handed me all his money, I gave him ‘pocket money’.” She cutely gesture and quote, “and I took care all of our expenses.” She feed Ezra then continued, “does this whole new family things with Miwa frightened you, Oppa?”</p><p>He halts before nodding, “a little.”</p><p> </p><p>“Miwa is one year old, but she hasn’t walk, has she?” Jisoo asked Hanbin.</p><p>“She crawls, standing by herself sometimes, but she’s into talking rather than learning how to walk lately.” Hanbin continue while sitting at the bar area, watching Yunhyeong prepare food for all of them.</p><p>“Right, they said girls are more into talking first,” Jisoo replied.</p><p>“Noona.” Hanbin called Jisoo.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Do you think preschool is important?”</p><p>“Of course! Baby know only their parents at least in their first two years. They need to learn how to socialized too, put them in a play group just before nursery or pre-K.”</p><p>“What’s a pre-K?”</p><p>“Pre kindergarten, Bin… nursery and pre-K accepts toddler from 3 years old and up, play group accept baby from eight months old.”</p><p>“Eight months??” Hanbin gasped, “and uh… how much is play group, or nursery…”</p><p>“well the market price is varied… ask Lisa for the detail because I’m sure she’s gonna put Ezra in nursery next year… but I think in our area is around 3-5 million won a year.”</p><p>“WHAT?”</p><p>Jisoo laughs, “it’s expensive, I know… and it’s only the beginning, because once it starts it’s not gonna stop until they graduate from college.” Jisoo smiles, “I wish us a good luck.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin let Jiwon feed Miwa, he also said he wants to cook for them so Hanbin let him be. Meanwhile, he made himself a cup of coffee before sitting on their balcony, thinking about the whole conversation he had with Jisoo.</p><p>He remembered his mom said that Jian working extra at a book store to pay for Jiwon’s medical study. And now seems like he knew why Haneul working extra, it’s not because Jian is a gold digger like he tenaciously accused her, but because Haneul realised how expensive is the cost of having Miwa.</p><p>He twist his head a bit, looking at Jiwon who still feeding Miwa through the glass door.</p><p>It’s true that they both are working, but will the be enough? He doesn’t even know Jiwon’s salary at this point.</p><p>He mentally scoffed.</p><p>It didn’t take too long before Jiwon joined him, he opened the glass door a bit so they still can watch Miwa.</p><p>“Hey…” Jiwon sat very close to Hanbin, his arm immediately wrapping around the younger’s waist, “when will we talk about the postpones conversation yesterday?”</p><p>Hanbin gazing at his nails, “I don’t know where to start…”</p><p>“What about you starting by kiss me?” Jiwon asked, “I haven’t got my daily dose.”</p><p>Hanbin smiles, he turned his head and captured the older’s lips.</p><p>“Hmm, the coffee taste good…” Jiwon whispers between the kisses.</p><p>Hanbin giggled while his lips still connected to Jiwon’s. They’re kissing in a slow pace, no tongues just their lips. No hands roaming above their physique, just their lips.</p><p>It’s a kiss they need to keep their minds from sinking into the mire of their own fear, a kiss that will be a solid ground to get them steady. Something they need in this kind of days, something that embedded their soul.</p><p>Jiwon pull apart, but he continue his kisses down to Hanbin’s jaw and to his neck, “I know you’ve been thinking…” Jiwon whispers, “I don’t know what is it about, but I believe in you… I believe whatever is going on in your head right now is what’s going to be the best for us… three of us.”</p><p>“Thank you…” Hanbin turned his head a bit and kissed Jiwon’s temple, “for trusting me…”</p><p>“Bin…” Jiwon softly called him.</p><p>Hanbin humming to let him continue.</p><p>“Are we gonna give Miwa away?”</p><p>Hanbin took a deep breathe before looking up at the dark sky, he couldn’t contain his sadness when he’s imagining himself away from the baby, “no… I don’t want to be away from her.”</p><p>“Me too, Bin...” Jiwon hold the younger’s hands, “let’s keep her, please?”</p><p>He sat square, “then lets have a meeting, Kimji!!”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The boys sat on the carpeted floor, some papers in front of them, two cans of beers are opened. They’re busy writing something while munching a savoury snacks.</p><p>“My salary.” Hanbin slide a paper in front of Jiwon. “I’m being paid for every gig and this is my fee per gig,” he highlighting a number, “average gigs a month is 6 to10 gigs.” He explained, “average monthly salary is this.” He pointing at another number.</p><p>“5 million won?” Jiwon mumbled, that’s quite low, but Jiwon understood because Hanbin is not an office worker, he’s a weekend worker and that’s a kind of make sense. Jiwon glancing at Hanbin and he looked worry, and the older understand why Hanbin told him that he’s his own problem. A single person living in Seoul need an average 1-2 million a month for food and other daily expenses, Hanbin’s studio is around 800,000 won a month exclude the utilities. As a single person, Hanbin could live comfortably, but with family of three, “let’s discuss yours first okay?”</p><p>Hanbin nodded.</p><p>Jiwon Is not good at math or at financial planning but he did have those trainings at work every now and then, it’s a mandatory for big companies to have that. “Do you have mortgage?”</p><p>Hanbin rubbed his chin, “credit cards expenses, car insurance, studio apartment rent, health care…”</p><p>Jiwon took his pen and calculate it based on Hanbin’s report. “So you have around 1,985,000 … we gotta save 20 percent of the salary for emergency… hmm… 1,000,000 won for savings… you got around 985,000 for Miwa and this house.”</p><p>Then they started counting on Jiwon’s salary and mortgage, apparently Jiwon has higher salary than Hanbin, almost twice of his, and he also has passive income from bonuses, also less expenses because instead of renting any studios, he lived in hospital’s dorm. But Jiwon’s mortgage is bigger, unlike Hanbin who already had his car settled, Jiwon still pay on instalment every month for his.</p><p>“I can move here completely.” Hanbin said, “so I’d save up 800,000 won.”</p><p>“Good idea.” Jiwon nodded, still writing and scratching papers, “I have around 2 million for Miwa and the house. Should be enough, right?”</p><p>“Maybe…” Hanbin took another paper and listed the groceries, transportation, utilities, childcare including Miwa’s insurance planning, clothing (because babies growing so fast, they need to changed their clothes every few months), and leisures.</p><p>Hanbin sighs and scratched the leisure parts because he found the result was…</p><p>-285,000 won.</p><p>“Minus??” Jiwon flinched.</p><p>“Yes, Ji, minus… Damn it, baby is so freaking expensive!!” he grunts, “and this is still exclude her play group, preschool whatsoever, Ji…” Hanbin threw the pen, “we can’t afford Miwa.”</p><p>Jiwon caressing Hanbin’s back, “Let’s do this slowly… What if we minimize the savings?” Jiwon asked.</p><p>Hanbin bite the pen, “Hmm, yeah maybe we can…” he took the calculator again and starts typing, “We can only save less than 700,000 which is unhealthy.”</p><p>“It’s okay! We’re newbie… we’ll find away, we’ll find away.”</p><p>Hanbin looks unconvinced.</p><p>“Bin, please…” Jiwon squeeze his hands, “keep Miwa…”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Won… I need more gigs!”</p><p>Won is talking Junhoe at Créma waiting room when Hanbin bragged in.</p><p>“Are you using drugs now?”</p><p>Hanbin flinched, “the fuck?”</p><p>“People who needs more money usually because of that.” Won smirks.</p><p>“He’s not, Won,” Junhoe sneered, “he just have a daughter now and he needs more money for that.”</p><p>“Ah…” Won murmured, “I see…”</p><p>Hanbin took a bottle of water then threw himself on the couch, “so?”</p><p>“You okay if I booked you gigs outside Seoul?”</p><p>Hanbin few years a go would be ecstatic to have a gig outside Seoul, but now… but he needs the money! “I’ll ask Jiwon but I think it’s fine, I mean, Jiwon is free on the weekend so he could watch Miwa.”</p><p>“So, Junhoe told me you’re dating the baby uncle?” Won sat across him.</p><p>“I’m the baby’s uncle.” Hanbin replied then sipping his water.</p><p>“The other uncle.”</p><p>Hanbin nodded, “yeah, and we decided to to fully adopt Miwa.”</p><p>“You kidding, right??” Junhoe joined the conversation.</p><p>Hanbin shook his head, “Miwa is my niece, dude, I can’t give her away to some random cousins or worse, non-blood related foster parents…”</p><p>“Is this because you’re now fucking the other uncle??” Junhoe asked.</p><p>“I am not yet fucking anybody, okay??” Hanbin grunts.</p><p>“Oh my God… even after he saw me kissing you and you both left while having that cringe worthy drama scene of ‘liStEn tO Me, JiwOn, I caN eXplaiN’??” Junhoe mimicking Hanbin but in a very annoying way.</p><p>Won laughed, “alright, alright,” he stood up, “I’m gonna watch Choice37 from second floor, it’s better than watching my two artists’ drama.” He continue, mentioning tonight’s guest, “anyway, let me know if you get the permission from your husband, then I’ll get you a bigger gig outside Seoul.”</p><p>Hanbin nodded as Won closing the door behind him.</p><p>“So,” Junhoe sips his whiskey, “you really haven’t fuck your boyfriend?”</p><p>Hanbin shook his head. “imagine living with a baby who seek for your attention 24/7.” Hanbin stretched a biggest fake smile. “splendid.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll talk to mr. Jung after you’re back from Osaka, okay?” Jiwon slit his hand along Hanbin’s torso.</p><p>Hanbin who just slipped himself beside Jiwon after tucked Miwa to bed humming. “next time, if I had another gig abroad you and Miwa should come.”</p><p>“To the club? You sure?”</p><p>“Not to the club! But to the city… so we can have a short holiday,” he rolled around and found Jiwon’s face.</p><p>“Hmm… okay.” He’s eyes closed but his lips formed a smile.</p><p>Hanbin kiss those lips, “thank you for agreeing to watch Miwa during the weekend.”</p><p>“Hey, you watch Miwa everyday… this is the least I could do for us.” Jiwon pull the younger into his hug while burying his lips on the crook of his neck.</p><p>Jiwon kissing his neck deeper, adding some nibbling, soft sucking, biting.</p><p>“<em>Ahh</em>… Jiwon…” Hanbin moaned.</p><p>The older cant keep his hands for himself, it roams around smoothing the younger’s skin, “I really want to fuck you, Bin…” he whispers.</p><p>“Hmm… wanna do it now…?” Hanbin’s voice low and breathy. Hanbin’s down to somewhere between the older’s legs and caressed the bulge there.</p><p>“I’d love too… but you have an early flight tomorrow…”</p><p>Hanbin sighs, “we can do it quickly.”</p><p>“No, once I had the chance to do it with you, I want us to do it veeery slowly, all night long…”</p><p>“That’s kind of impossible with that self centered baby next door.” Hanbin pretend to scoffed.</p><p>Jiwon chuckles, “we’ll find a way.” He kissed Hanbin’s temple before asking him to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin arrived with Won in Osaka at 10 in the morning, they went to the hotel and rest a bit before going for lunch with the people from Rocket, the club where Hanbin gonna play tonight.</p><p>“I hope you guys like sushi.” Ken, the club’s manager said in his limited Korean. Ken is an early 30 man, he dressed up like a real cool Japanese with minimalist cut clothings, neat hair, and pair cool sunglasses.</p><p>Hanbin understood Japanese even tho it’s a bit hard for him to talk.</p><p>“That’s what we’re hoping to eat here, of course.” Won said in his fluent Japanese.</p><p>Ken brought them to a famous sushi restaurant and he even got them a private room and fancy set of sushi.</p><p>Hanbin snapped a picture and sent it to Jiwon.</p><p>They talked about many things while eating from music to family, Hanbin found out that Ken is a father of two.</p><p>Hanbin feel his phone vibrates. He peeked and saw a video call coming from Jiwon, he must think Hanbin is finished eating since it was more than two hours a go since Hanbin sent him a photo.</p><p>Won also peeked on Hanbin’s cellphone, “a video call? Maybe it’s your daughter.”</p><p>“You already have a kid?” Ken asked.</p><p>Hanbin nodded while smiling, he realised he loves it when people asking him about that. He’s happy to admit to everyone that he has a baby, a daughter, a very pretty chubby baby. “Yes, I have a daughter.”</p><p>“Wow! You’re still very young!” Ken looked amazed, “take it, it’s okay.”</p><p>His guess was right, when he slide the green button, Miwa’s face occupy 80% of the screen with Jiwon behind her.</p><p>“Oh you still at the restaurant?” Jiwon asked.</p><p>“Yeah, but it’s fine… hey Miwa-ssi…”</p><p>“Haaaaaannn…h…!!” yup, Miwa learn how to say Han at least.</p><p>“I wanna see your daughter! May I?” Ken seems to like babies, maybe because he’s a father himself.</p><p>“Who’s that?” Jiwon asked.</p><p>“Oh, That’s mr. Wanatabe, the manager of the club in here.” Hanbin replied then he turned the screen to Ken.</p><p>“Oh hello mr. Wanatabe, I’m Kim Jiwon.”</p><p>“Hello! Oh call me Ken, mr. Kim Jiwon.” Ken politely greet Jiwon. “wow is that your daughter, B.I? she’s very pretty.”</p><p>Hanbin smiles, “yes, and Jiwon is my boyfriend.”</p><p>Ken halts a bit but the he smiles, “cool, cool…”</p><p>The whole conversation next is Hanbin lightly told Ken about how he ended up with Miwa, not super detail, just the outline of his life because Ken seems curious about it.</p><p>“It’s a good fate.” Ken said, “Since first time I saw you I know you’re a good guy, B.I, and I believe in a good fate… I’m gonna be frank, we know same sex couple couldn’t have a baby, right? We’ll adopting is another story, but from your story… your rainbow after the storm is Miwa. Losing siblings is a storm that hits you real hard, but you have Miwa, you earn a daughter with Jiwon, that’s beautiful.”</p><p>There were still some hesitation to fully adopt Miwa even tho they tried to calculate everything. But after the short conversation with Ken, Hanbin steadfast his will to keep Miwa. Whatever it takes.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Rocket is one of the hypest club in the heart of Osaka, it has a huge line outside and the tables and dance floor full of people. Since Rocket is placed in the middle of famous street in Osaka, many tourist and foreigner came here during their visit to Japan.</p><p>Hanbin is ready on the deck when the MC introduce him and he dropped the heavy beat to welcome himself. He mentally smile when his music seems to fused the bodies on the dance floor. They swirled with the lights of the acid green, tacky pink and array violets. Song after song Hanbin dropped making the dance floor not visible anymore, people are dancing from wall to wall, they jumped, they spilled their drinks, the scream his name.</p><p>Hanbin feel the energy burning up his chest, he almost forget the euphoric of seeing people dance in jive, they’re twisting and have a good time on his music. He took his cellphone to snap some pictures, some of it will go to Jiwon’s. To let him know that his boyfriend got so much audience.</p><p>Two hours seems like a second when you’re having fun. And his last song just played. The MC introduce him once again before he took a deep bow and wink as the sign of him peace out.</p><p> </p><p>The Hanbin on stage always made girls (and boys) go crazy, that’s why he doesn’t like to roam around the dance floor after a performance because it’s going to be a hard work to politely refuse everybody who tried to throw themselves on him. But tonight he has to sit with Ken, Won, and some colleagues in the VIP sitting area while the party goers seems to preying on him.</p><p>Hanbin choose to not engaging in the conversation but instead, he’s busy texting Jiwon. Sending him pictures of the crowd (exchanged by pictures of Miwa eating a big chunk of watermelon).</p><p>“Tomorrow you’re gonna perform at Level-eight, right?” Ken asked.</p><p>Hanbin nodded, he did have two schedules in Osaka, Saturday night in Rocket, and Sunday night in Level-eight, a club in a luxurious hotel in Osaka.</p><p>“Seems like B.I gained his popularity here…” Ken laughs.</p><p>“He has a good taste in music, and his attitude is such a flirty bastard on stage.” Won added while shook his head.</p><p>Hanbin laughing with them.</p><p>“Many girls seems to hoping that you’d bring them back to your hotel room.” Some dude, Ken’s colleague who sat with them said.</p><p>“Are you consider yourself faithful, B.I?” Ken asked.</p><p>He paused then nodded, “yeah…”</p><p>“When I knew him back then he was such a mess, you were just broke up, weren’t you?” Won turned to him an dhe nodded, “he went to Créma everyday to get wasted, he went around fucking different people every night until one of my new DJ that time helped him from making fuss in the club—he almost get into a big fight with some random dudes because he flirted with his girlfriend.” Won sighs.</p><p>“So you’re into girls too?”</p><p>“My ex was a girl.” Hanbin shrugged his shoulders. “I admit that I was such a mess.” He chuckles.</p><p>“But I think he changed…” Won patted his back.</p><p>“After you meet your boyfriend?” Ken asked again.</p><p>“No, it was before I met him, I changed for me, but it’s getting better after I met him…” He smiles.</p><p>“B.I, there’s someone wants to see you.” A bouncer that also guarding their seating area came and talk to him.</p><p>Hanbin twist his head, looking at the direction he pointed and one loud pound echoing in his chest, a cold slithering to his stomach.</p><p>A girl standing behind the velvet separator rope, staring at him with the gaze that’s imprinted inside his head. She tilt her head and little smile formed on his lips, “Hanbin… remember me?”</p><p>How can he forget, the ex girlfriend who ruined him, “Jennie…”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>-</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i really love to read comments and long thoughts. but anyways, thank you for reading . love hug kiss.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Osaka pt. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>which they spent intimate moment for the first time.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>no Miwa because it's 18+. no babies allowed. hahaha...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Hanbin woke up with the view of Osaka bay area, best view he got from his hotel room. The luxury hotel where Level-eight club placed is giving Hanbin a nice room for stay and he couldn’t be more thankful for that. Hanbin already snapped some pictures for Jiwon and told him they should stay there if they had a chance to visit Osaka one day.</p><p>Hanbin took his cellphone when it beeps.</p><p>Two messages coming, one from Won who said he’s waiting for him in the breakfast area, the other one is from… Jennie.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jennie</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Is 4 pm good? Meet me in this café [location]</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin inhaled and plunged his cellphone inside his pocket again while walking towards the breakfast area.</p><p> </p><p>“I have a surprise for you.” Won said while munching his omelette.</p><p>“I hate surprises.” Hanbin murmured.</p><p>“Well you can decide if you like it or hate it after you see what is it.” Won shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>“Tell me what it is.”</p><p>“You have to pick it up by yourself in the lobby.” He’s peeking at his wrist watch, “after breakfast is okay.” Then he’s looking at his beeping cellphone. “oh actually it arrived.”</p><p>Hanbin finished his coffee then went to the lobby, he went straight to the concierge thinking about the surprise, if it is some package delivered for him? Maybe he really is gaining fans in Japan, maybe his fans bought him something.</p><p>But he was startled, more than startled actually, when he saw someone, a guy with a crooked teeth, smiling over him.</p><p>Jiwon.</p><p>His Jiwon.</p><p><em>His</em> Jiwon is here, in the hotel lobby.</p><p>“Jiwon??” he couldn’t contain his smile, he stretch his leg to reach him as soon as possible, “you’re here! Jiwon! What are you doing here??”</p><p>Jiwon grinned, “hey.”</p><p>Hanbin look around, “w-where’s Miwa?”</p><p>Jiwon paused, “oops, I left her on the plane!”</p><p>“Kim Jiwon!”</p><p>The older laughs, “relaaax…”</p><p>“No, where’s Miwa??”</p><p>“She’s not here.”</p><p>“What? Why?”</p><p>“Because your mom is in Seoul, and uh… mr. Jung came…”</p><p>Hanbin heart sank, “oh no…”</p><p>“No, no, listen, mr. Jung because the Parks, your cousins, asking for a trial… well she definitely has a right to do it, so your mom came and she’ll stay with Miwa and the Parks just for one night. Just for one night, and Chanwoo assures me that we’ll have Miwa again on Monday.”</p><p>“What if the Parks took Miwa?”</p><p>“No way! I told Chanwoo we’ll adopt Miwa.”</p><p>Hanbin scoffed.</p><p>“Bin, I’m stressed too, but that’s how it works, the Parks are also the ‘candidate’ for Miwa’s foster parents, I can’t just jump-in and ban them from having trial with her!” Jiwon said. “And I can’t be at home sterssing over this by myself, that’s why your mom agreed when I said I’ll go after you.”</p><p>Hanbin bite his lip, “you’re right… I’m sorry… I’m worried about Miwa…”</p><p>“Your mom promised me to inform us everything.”</p><p>Hanbin nodded, “I’m gonna call her.”</p><p>Jiwon nodded.</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin back from calling his mom, mrs. Kim told him that Chanwoo is trying to do the right procedures but she’ll try her best to convinced Chanwoo that Hanbin and Jiwon made up their mind to fully adopt Miwa. And the details will be discussed on Monday.</p><p>“Nice room…” Jiwon look around.</p><p>“I sent you some pictures of the view this morning, but you must be on the plane.”</p><p>Jiwon checked his cellphone, “right…” then he lifts his head to see Hanbin, “are you happy that I’m here?”</p><p>Hanbin smiles, “more than happy.”</p><p>Jiwon put down his travel bag and took off his jacket, “I’m gonna use the bathroom and then we’ll talk, okay?”</p><p>Hanbin nodded.</p><p>“What time are you gonna be on deck tonight?” he asked while running the faucet to wash his face.</p><p>“Hmm…” Hanbin pulled his cellphone while murmuring, “around 1.30 am.”</p><p>“You the main guest star?”</p><p>“Uh-huh…” Hanbin looking at the phone screen, another message from Jennie.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jennie</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>You got my message?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin turned off his cellphone.</p><p>“Bin…?” Jiwon came from the bathroom only in his jeans.</p><p>“Holy—“ Hanbin startled to see the half naked guy in front of him. He clears his throat, “w-what did you said?”</p><p>Jiwon scoffed, “stop being stunned by how perfect is my abs, Bin…” he smugly smirks, “you’ve seen this so many times.”</p><p>“Put some clothes on! Are you trying to seduce me or what?” he threw his cellphone to the bed side table.</p><p>“Did it work?”</p><p>The younger nodded.</p><p>Jiwon stepped closer, too close that he almost chest to chest with Hanbin, “no Miwa here…”</p><p>Their gaze lasted for full second before Jiwon run his fingers between the younger’s locks. He tilts his head, only enough to make Hanbin hold his breath, anticipating another action from the older, but Jiwon stays there, his lips is a thin air away from him. But he did nothing.</p><p>Nothing until Hanbin initiate, capture Jiwon’s lips, kissing him slowly, putting the older lower lips between his softly.</p><p>The kiss went smooth but when they pull apart, it’s a crystal clear that there’s heat in their eyes, they are looking at each other as if they know the desires, the flame burning inside their bodies. And the kisses that coming next are full of hunger.</p><p>Hanbin helped Jiwon by undressing himself, the t-shirt is long gone, and now he’s unbuttoning Jiwon’s jeans while the older is busy kissing his neck. And when Hanbin reached Jiwon erected shaft, his resistance crumbled. Jiwon moaned and Hanbin think he just heard a finest song.</p><p>Jiwon chuckled when he found Hanbin still wearing his necklace.</p><p>“You like that?” Jiwon asked.</p><p>Hanbin touched the necklace, “I didn’t take this off because I’m afraid I might lose it before giving it back to you.”</p><p>The older smiles, “keep it, it looks good on you…” then he’s staring at the younger’s chest and shoulder, the tattoo… it’s mysterious yet inviting. He’s gonna leave so many marks there, he vowed himself.</p><p>“Stop staring.” Hanbin mumbled.</p><p>“You’re too sexy…” Jiwon replied.</p><p>“Oh fuck it, Jiwon, you know your body is better.”</p><p>Jiwon chuckled, “yeah, fuck it, right?” he snickered, “I am so gonna fuck it…”</p><p>Hanbin had to hold into something, he’s done curling his fingers on the bedsheet, or unconsciously pulling Jiwon’s hair, but to have the older plush lips around his dick is undescriptive, addicting, electrified.</p><p>It is so hard to keep his eyes open but he wants to capture the moment, he need it! He needs to record everything in his mind. And when he looked down and met Jiwon’s eyes—</p><p>“<em>Ah</em>… I’m gonna cum, I c-can’t…” Hanbin is puzzled, he’s definitely not a newbie, he was the player, the guy who fuck around, but under Jiwon’s touch he feels like a virgin. Jiwon took that moment to be sneaky, to furtively prep his ass. “Jiwon… Jiwon, Jiwon, JIWON!!!” the older keep going despite Hanbin’s protest, he doesn’t mind choked by Hanbin’s seeds anyway. “fuck, fuck you, <em>fuck you!!</em>” he grunts and Jiwon had to grip the younger’s thigh to prevent himself from threw up over a sudden release inside his throat.</p><p>Hanbin breathing erratically, Body is limping like a wet biscuit on the bed while Jiwon hovering above him, “you cursed too much…” he whispers while biting Hanbin’s lip, “and you’re loud…”</p><p>“You hate it…?” Hanbin replied rudely.</p><p>Jiwon sneered, “I love it.”</p><p>Hanbin reached down and pump the older’s dick, “want me to take care of it?”</p><p>“Just sit back and relax, Bin, I’ll be inside you soon.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“What?” Jiwon repeated, “you don’t think you’ll top me, do you??”</p><p>“Well I do!”</p><p>“Not today baby, not today…” Jiwon run his tongue along the younger’s shoulder blade, the he pulled away a bit just to spit on his palm before pumping himself, and Hanbin swore that’s the sexiest thing he ever saw during his existence. At that moment he doesn’t care if Jiwon gonna wreck him apart.</p><p>“Yeah okay…” he breathlessly whispers, “fuck me… whatsoever.”</p><p> </p><p>It was raw, sweaty, and sticky but both are now tangled together, chest pumped up and down from heavily catching air. The release after Jiwon monstrous pace was intense, and the feelings that follows are more tangible than life, they peppering kisses towards each other, kissed in wherever their lips landed.</p><p>“You feel so good, you know…” Jiwon murmured.</p><p>Hanbin hummed.</p><p>“I never felt so turned on…”</p><p>“Me too…” and he was honest. What Jiwon offered was all new, but he likes it. “our first time and I got to feel you raw… Ji…” he propped himself with his elbow, looking at the guy under him.</p><p>“Hmm…” Jiwon push the strain of Hanbin’s hair away from his face.</p><p>“I…” Hanbin paused.</p><p>“… love you?” Jiwon said continuing what Hanbin might say.</p><p>The younger snort a laugh, “the confidence…”</p><p>Jiwon smiles, “no?”</p><p>Hanbin feels his face warm, “Yes, I love you.”</p><p>Jiwon sealed his own lips together, preventing him from grinning too wide, “I fucked you once and look at you saying those words to me… I won’t be surprise if after the next round you’ll propose me.”</p><p>“Not funny.” Hanbin rolled away.</p><p>“Hey, hey.” Jiwon caught his waist, wrapping it around his toned arms and pull the younger closer, “Hey, sulky…”</p><p>Hanbin look away.</p><p>“Come on, stop that cute pout…” he kissed those lips, but Hanbin is stubborn, he pouts more, “fuck you, Bin, you’re doomed because i’ll never let you go. You’re mine forever. Mine.”</p><p>Hanbin can’t help but chuckled.</p><p>“I love you, Kimhan.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After another round of slow sex, Jiwon decided they need to eat a something other than each other’s, something like a real meal, so he ordered them a room service and went shower while waiting.</p><p>Hanbin is still on the bed, he reached his cellphone and turned it on, as expected, several messages came and some of them are from none other than Jennie.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jennie</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Hanbin, did you get my message?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jennie</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I’ll be waiting at the café.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin sighs, he’s looking at the watch. 1.32 pm.</p><p>“Kimji…” he shouts.</p><p>“Hmm…” the older stepped out the bathroom in bathrobe.</p><p>“I… uh, I have an appointment with a friend at 4, you wanna come?” he asked. Don’t know what to expect, he don’t want to lie but he’s not ready to bring Jiwon to meet Jennie. He know Jennie, she likes to judge people.</p><p>“Again?”</p><p>“What do you mean again?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“I’ve cum so many times.”</p><p>Hanbin rolled his eyes, “Kimjiii… stop it.”</p><p>“Okay, but funny how one hour a go you told me don’t stop.”</p><p>Hanbin threw a pillow on him and Jiwon laughing.</p><p>“Okay, okay, will it be long meeting?” Jiwon asked while slipping himself inside the blanket.</p><p>“Uh, no, I’m just gonna meet an old acquaintance.”</p><p>“We’ll you be back here before your gig?”</p><p>“Of course, my gig is in this hotel, so I’ll be here even before sunset.” Hanbin looking at the big window, “oh the sunset is incredible from here, Kimji…”</p><p>Jiwon pull the younger to his embrace, “you want me to fuck you while we watch sunset later?”</p><p>Hanbin snorts but shivers erupted his skin to hear his boyfriend’s husky voice, “how about me fuck you raw before I got to work?”</p><p>Jiwon let Hanbin go, “then you can go see your friend by yourself, imma taking a nap because my boyfriend gonna fuck me raw tonight. Bye bye.” Jiwon pull the blanket.</p><p>Hanbin paused, “so… you’re not coming?”</p><p>Jiwon shook his head while close his eyes, “baby need a lot of sleep.”</p><p>“Ya! You’re not Kim Miwa, wake up!”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin took a deep breathe before pulling the glass door open and look around to find Jennie. She’s sitting near the window, alone. She lift her head, her medium hair falls over her shoulder, then she welcomed Hanbin with a smile, smile that is so familiar. Smile that once melt his heart.</p><p>“Hanbin!” she stood up.</p><p>“Hey…” Hanbin smile when she reached up and hug him briefly.</p><p>“I thought you changed your mind and decided to bailed out.” She sat and so Hanbin. “have you ordered?"</p><p>“Uh, not yet…” Hanbin said, he’s about to go to the counter when Jennie slide a glass in front of her to Hanbin.</p><p>“You still like this?”</p><p>Hanbin paused, “What is…”</p><p>“Iced Chai latte.”</p><p>It’s a milk tea with herbs, and yes, Hanbin loves it.</p><p>“I choose this café because they have Chai latte in the menu, and as far as I remember you loved it!” she brightly said, “still like it?”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded, “I do.”</p><p>Jennie smiling again.</p><p>“What about you, your drink?”</p><p>Jennie waves a mineral water in the bottle.</p><p>“Water?”</p><p>“Yeah… I kind of having hangover after last night… I mean, meeting you again after a long time is not very easy for me… and I had to drank quite a lot to be braver… you know, to ask you out today.”</p><p>Hanbin paused. “oh…”</p><p>Jennie is playing with her own fingers, “So, how are you?”</p><p>“Well, as you see… I’m fine, I’m still DJ-ing.”</p><p>“And you’re getting famous.”</p><p>“Nah… I’m just doing my job.” Hanbin smiles, “how’s school and everything?” Jennie moved to Tokyo and it caused their broke up, besides the toxic relationship that happened for years.</p><p>“I just finished my internship here in Osaka, I’ll be back to Tokyo next week and doing the paperworks, after that I’m gonna look for a job.”</p><p>“Cool… cool… I didn’t finished my college.” Hanbin chuckled.</p><p>“Ah, really?”</p><p>Hanbin awkwardly scratches his nape and nodded. Then he saw Jennie froze, she tilt her head a bit more then a bitter smile form on her lips.</p><p>“Is that… hickey?” she pointed at somewhere in Hanbin’s neck.</p><p>Hanbin pull his collar higher while, “w-what? Uh—“</p><p>Then Jennie giggling, “you really is a rock star… did you bring home a girl last night?” she asked, “naughty boy!”</p><p>Hanbin scoffed, “no…”</p><p>“No?” Jennie stopped, “oh, are you here with your girlfriend?” there’s a clear discomfort in her voice.</p><p>Hanbin’s pupil shakes, he keep on looking at between his hand or the glass in front of him or the table, “no, actually…” he gulped, “I have a boyfriend.”</p><p> </p><p>_</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Before he left, Jennie told him that she’s sorry, she acknowledge that she was the one to blame. And Hanbin told her he understood and invite her to level-eight tonight. He smiles when Jennie agreed to come. Maybe they can be friends, even tho deep inside his heart, there’s wound that’d never heal. The fear, insecurities, and distress that might affect his current relationship. But Hanbin choose to trust Jiwon. He chooses to try again.</p><p>Hanbin forgot his plan to fuck Jiwon, instead with the view of beautiful sunset, he let Jiwon make love to him. Slowly. Really slow.</p><p>“Your mind’s not here.” Jiwon kissed his temple.</p><p>“I’m sorry…” Hanbin reached the older arm and kiss his jaw.</p><p>“You’re still thinking about Miwa?”</p><p>“Oh my God, Kimji, please don’t talk about our daughter when you’re inside me! It doesn’t feel right.”</p><p>Jiwon chuckles, “Our daughter…”</p><p>Hanbin blushes, “it sound un-right, right?”</p><p>“No, it sounds so… right.” Jiwon bent down and kiss the younger, “then tell me what are you thinking?”</p><p>“You… you… you… you and always you.” He sat up a little and flip their position, now he’s riding Jiwon.</p><p>The grunts released from the older lips get him harder. “Yeah ride me baby…” Jiwon crooked a smile.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin is on the deck while Jiwon sat with won at the VIP seating area, it’s not a secret that Jiwon is a good looking guy, his appearance attract more people than expected.</p><p>“You want to be a DJ too?” won suddenly asked.</p><p>“Me?” Jiwon asked back, “why?”</p><p>“I’m sure you’re gonna have a huge fanbase in no time.”</p><p>Jiwon scoffed.</p><p>“DJ with a rough look is in high demand now, moreover if you can shake that hip a little when you perform,” Won snickered, “or be a little flirty like your boyfriend up there…” Won dramatically shook his head, “he’s a real player when he’s spinning, y’know that?”</p><p>Jiwon didn’t replied, he sips his drink while eyes going to the stage, Hanbin wear a smile he never wear at home, a little smug with one eyebrow hitching and that nod everytime he met a good beat. That tongue which run along his lower lips, Hanbin underlining his facial features and body product purposely to seduce his audience.</p><p>Jiwon hates that.</p><p>There’s some girls going up the stage, they’re the sexy dancers. Only in they bra corsets and mini skirts (some others in a super short pants), and fishnets. Their hips swaying, hands smoothing along their own body, head banged backwards, every move according to the beat Hanbin drop.</p><p><em>Does he always work with this kind of dancers?</em> Jiwon bite his lips. Definitely not his favorite things to see. Jiwon thought this couldn’t go worse when suddenly a dancer starts to dance very close to Hanbin, and the B.I on stage just shows a ‘happy surprise’ face and wearing that smug ‘she’s not bad’ face to the audience. People on the dance floor go crazy when the dancers tilt her head and aiming Hanbin’s neck, and she bites something there.</p><p>Jiwon smirks.</p><p>It’s the necklace.</p><p>Jiwon’s necklace.</p><p>“He’s mine, bitch.” Jiwon murmured while gulping down his drink.</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin nod to Ken across the room before he joined Won and Jiwon on his own table, he was about to sit when Jiwon pull him to sit on his lap.</p><p>“What the hell?” Hanbin startled.</p><p>“Jealous and horny.” Won replied.</p><p>“Jealous?” Hanbin turned to see Jiwon, he didn’t say anything just keeping his arm around the younger’s waist, “well, he’s been horny all day, but jealous?”</p><p>“To the dancers.” Won munching a complimentary peanuts.</p><p>“Seriously?” Hanbin sliding off his lap and sits beside Jiwon but he took Jiwon’s hand and wrap his fingers around Jiwon’s. “you’re cute.”</p><p>“I’m not cute!”</p><p>“He’s cute, isn’t he?" Hanbin turned to Won.</p><p>“Hanbin!”</p><p>The three boys look up and find Jennie.</p><p>“I’m here!” she said in bright tone.</p><p>“Oh hello, Jen…” Hanbin stood up, “come here, uh, sit with us… it’s okay, right?” Hanbin turned to Jiwon and Won,</p><p>Won shrugged his shoulders while Jiwon said nothing.</p><p>“It’s Jennie, I went to meet her this afternoon, Ji.” Hanbin explained.</p><p>“Ah, the friend you told me… hi, I’m Kim Jiwon.”</p><p>“Jennie Kim.”</p><p>“Korean?” Jiwon asked.</p><p>“Yup!” she smiles.</p><p>“And that’s Won, my manager.”</p><p>“Oh!” Jennie paused, “I think I know you… you were one of the GRO in Créma!”</p><p>Won laughed, “Whoaa how old are you? That was my first job before I became the bar manager and then made my own label where Hanbin is.”</p><p>“You own a Dj label now? Cool…”</p><p>“Hanbin’s a regular in Créma.” Won added.</p><p>“Really? Why didn’t you tell me when we met this afternoon?” Jennie turned to Won, “Créma is our favorite club back then.” Jennie swift to see Hanbin but her eyes caught the hands that tangled, the fingers of the guy named Jiwon which intertwined with Hanbin’s, Jennie took a brief breathe and continue, “…we always went to Créma for dancing, but that was before we broke up, right Binnie?”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“You’re Hanbin’s ex girlfriend?” Jiwon asked.</p><p>Hanbin immediately twist his head, looking at the older, trying to read his face.</p><p>But he seems calm.</p><p>“Yes.” Jennie nodded, “and you’re his boyfriend.”</p><p>Jiwon chuckles, “you knew?”</p><p>“Hanbin told me this afternoon when we met.”</p><p>The younger’s mentally relieved that he made a good decision to tell Jennie that he has a boyfriend now.</p><p>“But he told me he was going to meet an old acquaintance…” Jiwon release his hand and instead he pull Hanbin by his waist.</p><p>“I asked you to come with me but you refused.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me you’re meeting your ex?” Jiwon playfully pouted.</p><p>“I don’t like dealing with the jealous you, Kimji…” Hanbin chuckled.</p><p>“Oh, Jiwon-ssi is protective, huh?” Jennie took the glass Won offered her.</p><p>"I agree more at the word protective rather than jealous… or possessive.” Jiwon winks at Jennie.</p><p>Jennie chuckled her teeth, “I know right! Hanbin has something that always make you insecure… I could understand that tho, I know exactly how you feel…”</p><p> </p><p>At first, Jiwon didn’t think Jennie is harmful, she came with a big innocent gummy smile on her face. Introducing herself very cheerfully, and every gesture from her is super soft and friendly. He could be Hanbin’s ex but the way she acted around Jiwon and Hanbin showed that she’s completely over him. But there’s a tiny look from her, a microscopical motion from her that feels… threatening.</p><p> </p><p>-</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i didn't write the bed scene super detail, well, because i don't think i'm good at it and i don't want this story turn into a porn (lmao good excuse for a lack skill abbi, nice!) but i hope you enjoy the whole story. leave comments or talk to me in cc/twitter. xo abbi.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Miwa's Parents</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>when Miwa called that one person her father.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Seven adults sitting in the living room of the apartment when Hanbin, Jiwon and Miwa lives, as promised, on Monday they have the meeting to discuss about Miwa’s adoption.</p><p>“How’s the trial?” Hanbin asked Rose after greet her and her husband, Chanyeol.</p><p>Rose smiles, “Miwa is an angel, she behaves really well, lovely, and,” she looks up to her husband and see him shook his head, and then Rose release a loud sighs, “Miwa cried all time! She looked okay—not happy—but okay only if aunt Kim is around.” Rose rubbed her face, “Miwa doesn’t like us!”</p><p>Hanbin didn’t know if he should wants to show any sympathy while all he wants is just laughing. “Rose…”</p><p>“It’s fine, it’s fine!” Rose waved her hand.</p><p>“We really love Miwa, but I’ve been talking to mr. Lawyer too and maybe it’s better not to go against her late parents will… if Haneul and Jian wants Miwa to be with a close family then we have to respect them…” Chanyeol said, “no need to make this as a competition if finally Hanbin and Jiwon wants to fully adopt Miwa.”</p><p>Mr. Jung seems to re-reading all his notes and busy observing everyone there, “may I know the sudden change of thinking? Are those thoughts followed by careful plannings? Because last time we talked, both mr. Kim are not sure about this.”</p><p>“We had our own discussion, about this,” Jiwon said, “we came to the agreement that we want to keep Miwa.”</p><p>“It was about financial and personal future plan that unsettled,” mr. Jung said, “were those also in the discussion?”</p><p>“Of course,” Jiwon said, “we sat down and talk, and we count everything…”</p><p>“Also about the future relationship? About how to deal if one of you having a relationship with someone.”</p><p>There’s a pause before Hanbin spoke, “we agreed that our priority is now Miwa, and we’re doing this joined custody so, if… uh, if any of us having another relationship, is it possible to treat it like a, uhm, divorce couple who start another relationship after splitting?”</p><p>“Of course it’s possible.” Mr. lawyer answered.</p><p>“Okay…” Hanbin murmured.</p><p>“How about the two of you, is it okay to move here completely and fully dedicated yourself as new parents for Miwa?” mr. Jung asked.</p><p>“Of course!” Jiwon replied.</p><p>“Is the relationship between you two open and will you two able to show affections towards Miwa?”</p><p>“We’re in love…” Hanbin said, he can see from his peripheral sight that Jiwon stiffened, “…with Miwa.” He continued and tho there’s a disappointment in the older’s eyes, Hanbin didn’t have any choice, for now, “deeply in love, so we’re gonna put her above anything.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The process of full adoption is not easy, it needs bunch of documents and longer time than expected, but at least, every requirements are discussed, and all they need is to patiently waiting.</p><p>“Hanbin…”</p><p>He lift his head, his mother is leaning on his door frame, “yes, mom?”</p><p>She gets in and sat on the edge of the bed, “are you dating Jiwon?”</p><p>“W-what? Mom… h-how… why you suddenly…” Hanbin stuttered.</p><p>Mrs. Kim smiles, “well…”</p><p>“Is it so clear on my face?”</p><p>his mom laughs, “it’s funny that everything’s clearer on Jiwon’s face.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“That kid…” mrs. Kim inhales, “the way he needed you when he stressed out about Miwa’s trial day with the Parks was enough to tell me that he’s in love…”</p><p>“Mom…”</p><p>“To be honest, it wasn’t a comfortable feeling for me, Hanbin… but the boy is in love with my son… what can I do?” she extends her arm and caressing Hanbin’s cheek, “then I saw you back from Osaka, and you two were there for each other, you showed us that you both are working hard to keep Miwa… honey, he changed you. You weren’t the ignorant, rebellious son of mine anymore… you were talking about financial planning and to raise a kid, do you realised how proud I am?”</p><p>Hanbin’s smile blooms.</p><p>“And Jiwon took part in this revolution…”</p><p>“Revolution…” Hanbin scoffed at his mother’s word choice.</p><p>Mr.s Kim chuckles, “so, are you dating him or not?”</p><p>“Is it—“ Hanbin clears his throat, “is it okay with you… if I’m, if I’m dating Kim Jiwon?”</p><p>There’s a long pause, a teary eyes, lips that didn’t form a smile, but slowly mrs. Kim nodded, “as long as you’re happy, my son…”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Abbaaa…”</p><p>Jiwon stop cutting fishcakes he’s going to put on the boiled ramyun and tteobokki, and Hanbin left his laptop screen just to focus on Miwa.</p><p>“What did she said?” Jiwon carefully asked.</p><p>“Appa??” Hanbin slide down from kitchen bar stool. “did she just said appa?”</p><p>both are carefully walking towards Miwa who sat calmly on the carpeted floor with her winnie teether.</p><p>“Miwa-ssi…” Hanbin sang the last part.</p><p>“Kim Miwa…” Jiwon called her too.</p><p>The baby turned to the boys and grinned. “abpaa..” she showed her small tooth.</p><p>“Appa?” Hanbin and Jiwon sitting cross-legged side by side in front of Miwa.</p><p>“Abppaaa!!” she repeated with a wide smile, “abppa abaa abbhhaaaa…”</p><p>Okay, droplets everywhere but the boys couldn’t careless, both are elbowing each ther because Miwa starts calling them Appa.</p><p>“Okay, Miwa” Jiwon gets competitive this time, he pointed at himself, “Appaa? This is Appa, right?”</p><p>Miwa tilt her head, “haaa?”</p><p>Hanbin popped his eyes, couldn’t believe the older’s selfishness, “Kim Miwa, Kimhan’s forever love, Kim Miwa… this is Appa, right?” he also pointed at himself.</p><p>Miwa’s gaze move to Hanbin, “haa?”</p><p>“Appa… which one is appa? Kimji or Kimhan?” Jiwon asked.</p><p>Miwa giggling, not sure if she understood the whole critical situation but she must think it’s funny.</p><p>“Abpaa…” she mumbled.</p><p>“Appa, Miwa, it’s appaa…” Hanbin said.</p><p>Miwa looking at Hanbin then crawled towards him.</p><p>“Oh look at her…” Hanbin smugly welcoming Miwa to his arm, “she’s coming to her APPA…”</p><p>Jiwon was about to sulk when suddenly Miwa (who already sat comfortably on Hanbin’s arm) pointed at Jiwon, “appaa…”</p><p> </p><p>That was it, Hanbin sulking all night, moreover when Jiwon laugh so loudly that makes Miwa realised Jiwon loves the name and she keep on calling Jiwon appa. Hanbin is sulking. He dodge Jiwon’s kisses, he didn’t wash the dishes (their agreement was whoever doesn’t cooked for dinner wash the dishes), he didn’t laugh when Jiwon showed him a funny cat videos, and the last one made Jiwon realised that Hanbin is seriously pissed off because, yes, Hanbin dodged Jiwon’s kisses is nothing compared to Hanbin didn’t laugh at a cat videos.</p><p>This is serious.</p><p>“Maybe she didn’t mean it, maybe if we asked her again tomorrow, her answer would be different.” Jiwon trying to calm Hanbin.</p><p>Hanbin keep his back on Jiwon.</p><p>“Come on, Bin… she’s just a baby.”</p><p>“I’m not mad at her.”</p><p>“Then you’re mad at me??”</p><p>Hanbin didn’t replied.</p><p>“But I didn’t—“</p><p>“You made her choose!” he sat up and face Jiwon.</p><p>Jiwon startled and sat up too, face on Hanbin, “me??”</p><p>“You were being competitive, you pointed at yourself, you placed her in the situation where she thinks she had to choose!”</p><p>“Oh my God, Hanbin, it’s not that serious.”</p><p>“It is serious! I’m the one who always with her all day, and yet you got the privilege to be called appa?? Then what I am?”</p><p>“Eomma?”</p><p>“Shut up, Kimji, I’m a guy I’m appa for her!!”</p><p>“Alright alright… calm down…” Jiwon hold Hanbin’s arm, “I didn’t know you could be so pissed off… I thought I’m the one having anger issues.”</p><p>Hanbin scoffed while look away, but Jiwon brought his face back.</p><p>“Hanbin, Miwa loves you more than anyone, you’re the person she trust the most, believe me… as you said, you’re always with her all day everyday, just look how she always crawls to you first… instinctively, you’re number one in her head.”</p><p>Hanbin is still pouting.</p><p>“We’ll ask her again tomorrow, I’m sure, veeery sure, she’ll change her answer. Hm?” Jiwon ran his palm along the younger’s cheek.</p><p>Hanbin sighs, “I’m upset…”</p><p>“I know, baby, I know…” Jiwon pull him into a hug, “Can I kiss you now?”</p><p>Hanbin took a sharp exhales before nodded.</p><p>Jiwon pull him closer and caught his puty lips, giggling while kissing his sulky boyfriend.</p><p>“I miss you…” Jiwon whispers.</p><p>“Miss me? But haven’t been separated since we’re back from Osaka…”</p><p>“I miss the Hanbin is Osaka, Hanbin who was all mine… the Hanbin I could undress whenever I want…” his kisses down to his jaw.</p><p>“Jiwon stop it!”</p><p>“I don’t want to…”</p><p>“Kimji!”</p><p>Jiwon whines, “whhhyyy…”</p><p>“Sshhh!” Hanbin took his cellphone, “hey siri, play Miwa song.” And instantly his cellphone playing a song, a soothing instrument composed by himself, and always played whenever Miwa having a tantrum. Hanbin tip tooeing to Miwa’s room and put the cellphone there, then carefully closing the door.</p><p>“Did you just play the hypnotising song to our daughter?”</p><p>“Yeah so her parents can have a little fun.” He discarded his shirt.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Thank God mrs. Kim stays there when Jiwon and Hanbin was in Osaka, and as usual she’s tidying up the house (now we know where Hanbin got this habit of cleaning up). Mrs. Kim found Miwa’s health report and turns out baby needs vaccines every few months and there’s a detail report about it.</p><p>Today is Miwa’s vaccine schedule, and she had an appointment with her paediatric at 2 pm. Jiwon said he’ll be finished by then and will see Hanbin at the hospital. But a sad truth of Miwa still calling appa only to Jiwon—they tried asking Miwa again and Miwa keep pointing at Jiwon and refuse to call Hanbin anything else beside ‘Han’—brought Hanbin to another series of ‘let’s hate Jiwon’.</p><p>He refused when Jiwon wants to come with him to the paediatric—even tho Miwa’s doctor is dr. Im Nayeon (dr. Kim’s fiance) in Jiwon’s hospital, but still Hanbin rejected Jiwon’s offer to meet him.</p><p>Jiwon protested at first but he understand his action, Jiwon would probably do the same if his in the younger’s shoes. Worse, Jiwon would probably brainwashed Miwa to call him appa.</p><p>“I’ll see you at home?” Jiwon asked on the phone when Hanbin told him he’s already at the hospital.</p><p>“Hm,” Hanbin shortly replied, “fold Miwa’s onesies, will you?”</p><p>“Sure. Anything else?”</p><p>“Clean the house.”</p><p>“Ay, captain, Bin… anything else?”</p><p>“Cook dinner.”</p><p>“Okay…”</p><p>“Change the bedsheet.”</p><p>“Uh-huh.”</p><p>Hanbin paused.</p><p>“Anything else? Your slave still listening.” Jiwon snickered.</p><p>Hanbin knew Jiwon hold his laughter. “that’s it, bye.”</p><p>“Love you, Kimhan.”</p><p>“Bye.” He hung up the phone then he turned to Miwa who is looking at him with his big round doe eyes. “Whaaat? Yeah, okay sorry I didn’t say I love you too to Kimji!”</p><p>Miwa grins.</p><p>“Geez, so judgmental.”</p><p> </p><p>“New vaccine is not causing dramatic fever, just a slight uncomfortable, she might refuse to eat or a bit drowsy all the time… just give her a lot of liquid like water, milk, or soup will do.” Dr. Im explained. “Any more questions?” dr. Im asked.</p><p>Hanbin paused, “hmm, is it normal if Miwa only eats certain kind of food?”</p><p>“Like what?” dr. Im clasps her hands together.</p><p>“Like bananas, and tofu, and well, lately she eats dory fish but after few meal of fish she usually rejected it again.” Hanbin explained, “but she never rejects banana.”</p><p>Dr. Im laughs, “she has her favorite…”</p><p>Hanbin laughing too and caused Miwa grinning too even tho she doesn’t understand all of it.</p><p>“Here,” dr. Im write something on Miwa’s report, “go to dr. Min, she’s the pediatric nutritionist, she’ll give you the meal plan for Miwa… I personally don’t think this is necessary because Miwa’s weight is enough, she doesn’t seems stunting or tiny for her age, but I know your concern, so, go and talk to dr. Min.”</p><p>“Thank you…” Hanbin stood up, “say bye bye to dr. Im, Miwa.”</p><p>“phhpye… pyeee…” Miwa flew a cute kiss.</p><p>“Aw, Kim Miwa is too cute…” dr. Im replied with a cute pout.</p><p>“Thank you again, doc, see you again.” Hanbin bowed and left the examination room.</p><p> </p><p>He’s sitting at the waiting area with some other parents. This room has a corner for kids to play, there’s an indian tent, bookshelf, big box of legos, and other toys. Hanbin knew Miwa is excited to see the toys but she’s too sleepy, probably from the medicine, so she’s just whining on his arm.</p><p>Hanbin checked her temperature and seems like she doesn’t have any fever.</p><p>“You’re sleepy, aren’t you?” Hanbin took his phone and start to play a song. Miwa song. Hanbin smile and nod when he saw a man looking at him.</p><p>“How old is she?” the man asked.</p><p>“One year old.” Hanbin replied.</p><p>“is she okay?”</p><p>“Yes, she just got her immunisation… and I’m going to see the nutritionist fo her eating habit.” He added to explain, I case the man curious why is he in the nutrition ward. “Uhm how old is your kid?” Hanbin doesn’t see any kids with him but he couldn’t be in a children ward without children, right?</p><p>“ten years old.”</p><p>“Oh…”</p><p>“She’s at school.” He smiles, his eyes remind Hanbin of Jiwon’s eyes, it disappears when he smiles, “I’m here because I just drop by to see my wife, she’s the nutritionist you’re about to see.”</p><p>“Dr. Min?”</p><p>“Yes, Min Hyorin, my wife.” He said, “I’m Dong Youngbae, by the way.”</p><p>Hanbin bowed at him, “I’m Kim Hanbin.” And Miwa whines because she just fell asleep and had to awoken by Hanbin sudden movement. Hanbin smiles, “she’s sleepy but wanting to play so she’s a bit upset.”</p><p>“Anyway, I’ve been listening to the song you play for her, may I know what song is it?” Youngbae asked.</p><p>“Uh, this is… a children song, well, actually, uh, I kind of… I made this.” Hanbin chuckles.</p><p>“No way!”</p><p>Hanbin grinning, “I’m a DJ and I compose this because Miwa, my daughter, seems to like certain instruments, I knew it from baby TV, she always calm when that tunes came in, so, I tried to make similar one… she likes this one the best, this one soothes her whenever she’s having tantrum.”</p><p>“Wow…” Youngbae looked amused, “Hanbin, Hanbin-ssi, right?”</p><p>“Yes, sir.”</p><p>“Have you ever think of selling your songs to a company?”</p><p>Hanbin stopped, “uh, honestly… no, I never—“</p><p>“Kim Miwa, examination room 2.”</p><p>Youngbae pull his wallet out and took a name card, “I need to go back to my office. So, contact me, let’s have coffee whenever you’re free.”</p><p>Hanbin bowed before heading to the examination room, and in a glance he saw the name card Youngbae gave him.</p><p> </p><p><strong>Dong Youngbae</strong>, <em>music director of Baby TV korea.</em></p><p> </p><p>_</p><p> </p><p>“KIM JIWON! KIM JIWON! KIM JIWON!!!” Hanbin bragged into the house, throwing his shoes away and so the diaper bag.</p><p>Jiwon appeared from the balcony, he just finished cleaning their robot cleaner’s filter, “you okay?”</p><p>Miwa is giggling on his arms because Hanbin keep jumping here and there.</p><p>“Okay, okay gimme that poor baby, she’s about to throw up if you juggle her like that.”</p><p>Hanbin put Miwa down the carpeted floor and let her crawl to her favorite bean bag and lounging there while biting the ear of her winnie plushie.</p><p>“You will not believe this!” he pull out the name card from his jeans pocket.</p><p>“Okay, you throw your shoes sloppily, this must be something big—“ Jiwon read the name card, “What is—who is… Dong Youngbae?” he reads carefully, “music director of Baby TV… Korea…?” he still puzzles.</p><p>“We met at the hospital and he’s interested in Miwa song!!”</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“I played it because Miwa was a bit whiny after the injection, and he said the song is really good, he asked me if I ever think of selling my songs to a company.” Hanbin explained, “and then I got called to the examination room, and, and he gave me this!”</p><p>Jiwon had cover his mouth, prevent it from dropping his jaw to the floor, “Hanbin…”</p><p>“He told me to contact him so we can go having coffee!”</p><p>“Oh God…”</p><p>“Kimji…”</p><p>“Come here, come here, come here!!” Jiwon pull him into his hug, “oh my God… Hanbin I’m so happy for you.”</p><p>“Nothing settled, Ji…”</p><p>“I know but this is great, someone is actually acknowledging your talent!”</p><p>“What talent?” he scoffed.</p><p>“Oh, come one… we always know the song has something in it, that’s why I always called it hypnotising song of Miwa. And let’s be sure that if someone like—who’s his name again?”</p><p>“Dong Youngbae.”</p><p>“Yeah, him. If your song catches the attention of someone who seems like the expert of music industry, then it’s good!” he tighten his hug.</p><p>“Apppaaaa…!” Miwa knew she’s being ignored fro a few minutes.</p><p>“Ugh that controversial name again…” Jiwon groaned while throwing his head backwards, “maybe we should tell Miwa to stop calling me appa, so you won’t be upset everytime—“</p><p>“It’s okay.” Hanbin kissed Jiwon’s cheek, “not your fault anyway.”</p><p>Jiwon raised his eyebrows, “you said it’s okay because you’re in a good modd, aren’t you?”</p><p>Hanbin chuckled, then nodded, “yeah, I’d most likely be jealous again tomorrow, or whenever the euphoria is sinking.” The younger walked towards the couch while Jiwon lift Miwa and placed her between the boys. Miwa lift her face to Hanbin and pointing at the cartoon she’s watching.</p><p>Her favorite purple monster who is the best friend of a fluffy yellow monster.</p><p>“Whoaa, Miwa’s favorite… who’s the purple monster, Miwa?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“Appaa…” she pointing at Jiwon.</p><p>“Ah, purple monster is appa?” Hanbin repeating, “who is the yellow monster?”</p><p>Miwa is now looking at Hanbin, then she smiles, the toothless (well she has four, but still looks tootless) grin, and then she said, “ddah-deeh.”</p><p>Both Hanbin and Jiwon stunned.</p><p>“W-who?”</p><p>“Da-ddeeh.”</p><p>“D-daddy?” Hanbin carefully said.</p><p>“DAADDDYYYYWWH!!” again, droplets everywhere but Hanbin laughing really hard when Miwa cupped his cheek with his little hands and started to laughing too.</p><p>“Did you hear that, Kimji?”</p><p>Jiwon nodded, laughing too, and severely nodded, “you’re her dad… her daddy!”</p><p>Tears rolled down Hanbin’s cheek, “oh my God… Kim Miwa… I love you so much…”</p><p>Three of them are laughing while the monster cartoon still playing. Purple monster has a korean family monster and he called his father ‘appa’, he has a very close buddy, the yellow monster, a monster from America, that little yellow fella called his father ‘daddy’ and that’s where Miwa learned the new nickname for her fathers; Appa and Daddy.</p><p> </p><p>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>fluffy, right? right? lmao... well, a kudos, thoughts, or talk to me through dm, twitter, cc. have a great day everyone! xo, abbi.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. insecurities</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>past relationships and questions that follows.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>The ecstatic feelings of Miwa calling him dad and calling Jiwon appa is still there. Jiwon had to stop him from buying everything that has the word daddy from any stores they passes, even tho Hanbin managed to buy a cute onesies for Miwa with ‘Daddy’s best girl’ written in glitters.</p><p>Hanbin humming something while open the apartment door, he’s just back from meeting Dong Youngbae in a coffeeshop in Gangnam. Hanbin brought Miwa along with him since Youngbae said I’s fine. And Miwa being a good girl during meeting, not even once she showed irky face.</p><p>Hanbin put Miwa down to the carpeted floor and went to Miwa’s room to stored her diaper bag.</p><p>“Haaaaaann…”</p><p>“It’s daddy, Miwa!” Hanbin furrowed his eyebrows, arms on hips.</p><p>Miwa chuckling, “Haaan.”</p><p>“Miwaaa…?”</p><p>“Miwaaa…” she repeating.</p><p>Hanbin sighs, then he lift Miwa up, “are you hungry, Miwa?”</p><p>She nodded, “hungwih.”</p><p>“Miwa wants rice and chicken soup?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“What?” Hanbin dramatically gasping.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Noodle and soup?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Hanbin thinking of what else he has in the fridge. “spicy short ribs?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Kimchi?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Chicken?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Beer?”</p><p>“Beew.”</p><p>“Oh no, don’t say that, Kimji will scold me if he knows you learn about alcohol so early.” Hanbin laughs while taking out Miwa’s bowl and filled it with rice.</p><p>Hanbin sat in front with a bowl of rice and chicken soup, dr. Min gave him some menus that could help Miwa’s eating habit, and she also said that it’s better to cook anything a bit bland, it’s good for baby’s digesting system too. Suddenly his cellphone rang. It’s Jiwon.</p><p>“Ji…” he put him on loud speaker.</p><p>“Hey, what are you doing?”</p><p>“Feeding Miwa.”</p><p>“Miwa…” Jiwon said.</p><p>“Ijiiiihh…” Miwa raised her hands as if Jiwon is there.</p><p>“Appaaa…” Hanbin said, “it’s appaa, Miwa.”</p><p>Jiwon laughs, “it’s funny how Miwa only call us appa and daddy when we’re together, and when one of us is not there, she’s calling us by our name again.”</p><p>“True…” Hanbin replied while wiping Miwa’s cheek.</p><p>“How’s the meeting with mr. Dong?”</p><p>“It went great, he asked me for two or three other songs, and he also said that he let his co-workers listen to my song and they’re all showed same interest.”</p><p>“That’s a good news!”</p><p>“Uh-huh, but now I gotta compose another hypnotising songs.”</p><p>Jiwon laughs, “you can do it!” he cheer him, “Miwa’s dad can do it!”</p><p>Hanbin can’t help laughing at Jiwon’s cuteness, “so, what’s up?”</p><p>“Ah, my friend, a close friend who lives in Jeju came to Seoul.”</p><p>“Who? Mino?” Hanbin remembered Jiwon told him about this friend, the one who continue his study as pharm.D and working in Jeju.</p><p>“Yes, him, he’s in Seoul for work and we’re going to have dinner, you wanna come?”</p><p>“What about Miwa?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“Bring her.” Jiwon said, “I wanna flex about my family.” He chuckles and Hanbin’s heart flutters.</p><p>“Well, uh, maybe you can go and have dinner with him first, if you want, you can invite him to come here, I’ll prepare food and drinks, and it’s easier for Miwa too.” Hanbin said.</p><p>“Bin…”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“Came to think of it, we never eat outside…” Jiwon said.</p><p>“Oh… well,” Hanbin took a short breath, Jiwon were right, they never really have a proper date, just a short lusty date in Osaka but no fancy dinner outside as a family, or simply sitting in a coffeeshop and talking about random things. “okay, let’s eat outside, pick the family friendly restaurant, okay?? Because I’m gonna bring her.”</p><p>Jiwon giggled, “of course! You want me to pick you?”</p><p>“uh-huh, just let me know what time me and the princess has to be ready.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon stretch his spine and stood up, “I need coffee, anyone want one?” he asked his co-worker. Seulgi shook his head, and Baekhyun raised his coffee cup.</p><p>“Already have three today.” He replied.</p><p>“Alright,” Jiwon walking towards the door, “I’ll be back soon.”</p><p>He went to the coffeeshop in the hospital lobby and order iced americano when someone tapped his shoulder.</p><p>“Jiwon-ssi.”</p><p>He turned and saw Junhoe.</p><p>“Oh, Junhoe-ssi.”</p><p>“Call me Junhoe… and uh don’t be so formal, I’m younger than Hanbin.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>He nodded.</p><p>“What are you doing here? Is someone sick? Or are you?”</p><p>“Just regular flu shot.” He shortly replied.</p><p>Both of them sitting at the wooden chair in the coffeeshop, Jiwon sips his drink then followed by Junhoe.</p><p>“So, I heard ou went after Hanbin to Osaka?” Junhoe sips his drink.</p><p>Jiwon nodded, “yeah.”</p><p>“Hoe was it?” Junhoe sneered, “must be steamy hot honeymoon, huh?”</p><p>Jiwon let out a scoff that sounds more like a giggle.</p><p>“Hey, hyung—“ Junhoe stopped, “Can I call you hyung??”</p><p>Jiwon smirks, Junhoe is indeed quirky like Hanbin said, “of course.”</p><p>“Okay… hyung.” The younger grinned, “I’m sorry about, you know, when you saw me and B.I…”</p><p>“Kissed?”</p><p>“Yeah, that…” Junhoe scratched his nape. “nothing happened between us…”</p><p>“That day or ever?”</p><p>“Well, if you wanna know if I dated him, then the answer is no… but yeah… we kind of close. We’re close friend.”</p><p>“But you slept with him?”</p><p>“Wh—uh, well.”</p><p>“I was just guessing but seems like I’m right…” Jiwon bitterly scoffing.</p><p>“You have no reason to be jealous of me,” Junhoe said, “we were close because he was such a mess back then, he got drunk everynight in the club… and we know each other when he was about to have a fall out with a guy. I kinda saved him from the riot.” Junhoe shrugged his shoulders. “but trust me, we never had a romantic relationship.”</p><p>“Did you like him?”</p><p>“As a friend, never romantically, trust me.”</p><p>Jiwon slowly smiling, “yeah, I believe you.”</p><p>Junhoe chuckles.</p><p>“Anyway… Junhoe,” Jiwon paused, he turned to the younger, “do you, perhaps, know Hanbin’s ex named Jennie?”</p><p>“Jennie? Jennie… the one who ruined him?”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“You know, the toxic and obsessive one! Girl who made Hanbin hates to be in relationship.” Junhoe explained.</p><p>“Oh wow, I-I didn’t know that…” Jiwon murmured.</p><p>“Oh shit! I should learn to shut my mouth.” Junhoe covered his mouth.</p><p>“What? Why? You should tell me more.” Jiwon, glancing at his wrist, “I have time.”</p><p>Junhoe seems hesitant.</p><p>Jiwon smiles, “Yeah, well, my first impression about Jennie is that she seems kind, Hanbin introduced her to me, but there’s something about her that makes me uncomfortable.”</p><p>“I don’t know her personally, hyung,” Junhoe said, “and I never witness their relationship. My knowledge about her is based on what B.I told me, okay?”</p><p>Jiwon nodded.</p><p>“That’s why I only know that their relationship was bad, to the point that B.I choose to be a bastard after she left. He was seriously a jerk who fuck around and disappear the next day.”</p><p>Jiwon couldn’t imagine that kind of Hanbin. The Hanbin he knew is the one who appear very soft for him and Miwa, the one always shows affection and love. He sighs, guess he doesn’t know Hanbin entirely…</p><p>“Why don’t you talk to Hanbin?”</p><p>“I don’t know how to tell him… I don’t know where to start.” Jiwon sighs.</p><p>“I can’t tell you much about Jennie, not that I don’t know the story, but I think it’s better if you ask him personally…” Junhoe smiles, he stood up from his seat, “all I can say to you is that Jennie brought the worst in him. So… why don’t you focus on bringing the best in him? That’s what he needs from a relationship. I’ll get going…” He patted Jiwon’s shoulder then leave.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Mino is a very attractive person, he’s talkative and kind, he made his first meeting with Hanbin and Miwa far from awkwardness. He keep on talking and asking many things.</p><p>“So you made songs?” Mino asked.</p><p>Hanbin nodded, “well, during my DJ career, I never once made a song, I mixed other people’s songs… first one I composed was the Miwa song, and now I have to make other things like that.” Hanbin turned to Jiwon, “Youngbae hyung said I can try the day light songs too, it means songs with more cheery tunes.”</p><p>“Hyung??” Jiwon raised his eyebrows, “you don’t even call me hyung, and this Youngbae dude got this privilege after what? Second meeting??”</p><p>Hanbin laughs, “if I made it into this job, he’s gonna be my boss… got an opportunity to call your boss hyung is great!”</p><p>Jiwon rolled his eyes.</p><p>Mino in the other side starts laughing, “I never saw Jiwon being jealous like this.”</p><p>“Oh what’s he like before?” Hanbin asked, “I’m interested to know.”</p><p>“Hmm,” Mino playfully rubbed his chin, “where do I begin?” he turned to Jiwon, “it’s you last chance to bribe me…”</p><p>“Just tell him, I’m not interested in keeping anything from him.”</p><p>“Whoaaa… so cool, huh?” Hanbin elbowed the older. “so, does he dated many guys in school?” Hanbin asked, “or girls?”</p><p>“Just few that I knew,” Mino said while chewing his food, “only... two guys?” he turned to Jiwon.</p><p>“Ugh, you called that a date?” Jiwon scoffed.</p><p>“Right, not really dating because they just hang out several times, maybe get into the second base, and bye bye Jiwon.” Mino snickered.</p><p>“Why bye bye Jiwon?” Hanbin getting curious.</p><p>“Because Jiwon was stiff and unromantic and too cool to show then that he actually wants them.”</p><p>“Oh… is that so…?” Hanbin squints his eyes on Jiwon.</p><p>“How’s he now? Still stiff?”</p><p>“Oh not really, he just need to enrolled himself on meditation class for his anger issue.” Hanbin playfully wink on him, “but he’s much better now, Miwa calms him, I guess…” Jiwon smuggly grinning, “he’s very patient with me, and also understanding—“</p><p>“What?? Jiwon is everything but patient and understanding!”</p><p>“Dude, I’ve changed, okay?! If Hanbin said I’m patient and understanding, then that’s what I am right now.” He exclaimed.</p><p>Mino laughs when Miwa also blabbing with her alien language as if she’s defending her appa. They talk until late, until Miwa is sleeping inside her stroller and Hanbin suggested them to meet again another time, maybe in their house, and Mino agreed, he said he'll definitely stop by before he's back to Jeju.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>When they're home, Miwa is awaken by the sound of her favorite monster (because Jiwon turn the TV on, and earned a laser glare from Hanbin), now Miwa refuse to sleep even tho she’s super sleepy, she wants to watch TV and were crying when Hanbin swoop her up and went to her room. Jiwon watch Hanbin struggle while change her into her pyjama. Then he remembered about something he ordered online few day a go, the package already arrived to his office this morning, Jiwon jumped and took the box and open it.</p><p>“Miwa…” Jiwon appear in Miwa’s door frame, made the baby turned and see Jiwon in a soft pink pyjamas with a cute little star all over.</p><p>“Appaaa…” she said, half tattling that Hanbin made her sleeping tho she doesn’t want, half is amazed by the pyjamas.</p><p>“What’s with the pyjamas, Kimji?” Hanbin tilt his head.</p><p>“You like it?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, I got one for you and Miwa.” He waved another boxes.</p><p>“Don’t say—“</p><p>“You’re right!” Jiwon open the small box, “Miss Miwaaa…”</p><p>Miwa giggling. "Miwaaaa..." she's distracted by the pyjamas box and the pink clothing in her size.</p><p>“Oh look, she likes it!” Jiwon swoop Miwa and let the baby hug him, “wanna change into a new pyjamas??”</p><p>“Yez yez!” She nodded.</p><p>“Should we ask Daddy to change into the new pyjamas too?”</p><p>“Yezzz!!”</p><p>Hanbin rolled his eyes. “No, I don’t lik—“</p><p>“Oh nooo… Daddy hates the pyjamas…” Jiwon frown and Miwa who saw it also frowning. “Appaaa… saaad…”</p><p>"Appaa saaad..." Miwa copied him.</p><p>Hanbin groaned, “alright alright, give me that!!”</p><p>Jiwon tucked Miwa to her bed after series of cute family pictures, Jiwon kissed her goodnight before turning off the lights and joined Hanbin who still sitting on the couch in the living room.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s with the sulk?” Jiwon kiss the top of Hanbin’s head.</p><p>“It’s… cringey!” Hanbin pull the hem of his pink pyjamas.</p><p>Jiwon laughs, “okay cool guy, I know you hate something uncool like this…”</p><p>“It’s not that. I’m just…” he took the cellphone and scrolling on the hundred pictures they took, “it’s too cute, I’m sad…”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I don’t know, I hate happy things… I hate it when it’s over.”</p><p>“Kimhan…” he sat beside Hanbin and let the younger snuggling closer. “happiness is not forever, and so does mourn, so why don’t we enjoy it while it lasts?”</p><p>Hanbin lift his chin and peck the older lips.</p><p>Jiwon kiss him back before said, “I met Junhoe today in the hospital.”</p><p>“Is he okay?” Hanbin left Jiwon’s lips.</p><p>Jiwon nodded, eyes pinning on the wall behind the TV.</p><p>“Are you okay?” he lazily asked while nipping Jiwon’s jaw.</p><p>“I asked him about Jennie.”</p><p>Hanbin sat square, his face turning to see Jiwon, “what?”</p><p>“I…” he twist his body to face Hanbin and he reached his hand, “I just wanna know about your past relationship… what’s wrong with it so we can avoid those things…”</p><p>Hanbin scoffed, “we don’t need to talk about it because you’re so much different than her.” He said, “we’ll be fine.”</p><p>“Hanbin… I wanna know, she’s part of your past, that’s why I wanna know—“</p><p>“Will you let me know everything if I asked you about your relationship with dr. Kim?” Hanbin cut him.</p><p>He paused a bit before inhaling a deep breathe, “of course. He left me because he wants a family, a normal family with one husband, one wife, and kids.” Jiwon replied.</p><p>Hanbin halts, he bites his lower lips. That must be hurt for Jiwon. He was wounded and yet he still have to see his ex walking around the work place with his new fiance, which is a woman, something that Jiwon could never be. Hanbin staring at their connected hand, “He really broke up with you because of that?”</p><p>“Yeah, and I understand. I mean… every people have different life purposes, and different way to describe happiness, some people just need a reason to smile to be happy, some other need to follow certain rule made by society in order to be happy.”</p><p>“And your definition of happiness…?”</p><p>“It was to have shitload of money, living in a fancy mansion, be super successful so everyone will envy my life…”</p><p>“Whoaaa, why don’t you become a rockstar or rapper? It's easier to achieve those things...” Hanbin chuckles.</p><p>Jiwon smiles, “yeah, that was how I described happiness…”</p><p>“And now?”</p><p>Jiwon shrugged his shoulders, “able to watch that little bundle of spolied brat grow up I guess?”</p><p>Hanbin laughs of the way Jiwon mention Miwa.</p><p>“And you.” Jiwon staring at his fingers.</p><p>Hanbin turned to the older, “me?”</p><p>“Yes, you… you made me happy, Bin, there’s a jumpy emotion of anything related to you. Mostly is substantial joy you bring whenever I’m thinking about you.”</p><p>Hanbin knew he’s blushing like hell, he’d jump and kiss Jiwon senseless there, make out, and maybe play the Miwa song to let the baby sleep deeper just to get Jiwon in bed with him, but he remembers what triggered this conversation. It’s Jiwon’s curiosity about his past. “Okay, so about Jennie, what do you want to know?”</p><p>“Why you broke up with her.”</p><p>“She never trust me.” he shortly replied.</p><p>Jiwon lift his eyes to see the younger.</p><p>“There’s an ownership ploy by her towards me that I couldn’t deny, she got jealous easily, our relationship become a competition of who could hurt the other harder. A peaceful day is something we couldn’t afford because our days were filled with insecurities.” Hanbin said, “we never broke up but when she moved to Japan, I disappeared. I know she didn’t have that much capability to haunt me again, so I decided to be a coward and disappeared.”</p><p>Jiwon didn’t say anything, just Hanbin took his hands and caressing the knuckles over.</p><p>“But you remember when I met her in Osaka, right?” Hanbin asked, “I think she changed, she become more mature now.”</p><p>“What if she wants you back?”</p><p>Hanbin wanted to deny the sound of anxiety in Jiwon’s voice, but it was thick, “I have you now…” he said, “right?”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The younger is sleeping soundly beside him, but Jiwon couldn’t even close his eyes. His heart racing and he feels nauseating knot inside his stomach. His ex left for a woman. it made him realised that you don’t have to make any mistake to be left by the one you love, sometimes you just have to be someone who doesn’t fit their narrative anymore.</p><p>His relationship with Jinwoo was calm and considered to be a happy relationship, but just like a storm coming in the middle of bright spring day, Jinwoo came to Jiwon and tell him that they couldn’t continue whatever they have that time. That during their relationship, Jinwoo was disturbed by guilt, he was happy but he knew it wouldn’t last because Jinwoo wants children of his own, he wants a wife, he wants something normal. As if Jiwon is abnormal.</p><p>The bedsheet rustling because Hanbin is rolling, leaving his back on Jiwon and continue sleeping deeper.</p><p>Jiwon reached his waist and pull him closer, spooning him tight and kiss the back of his ear. Huffing his fear alone and telling himself to not overreacting about things. That nothing should be his concern because Hanbin loves him.</p><p>And that they are already have a family of their own.</p><p>Suddenly the cellphone on the desk beside Hanbin buzzing, it doesn’t need a lot of effort for Jiwon to see the notification bar,</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jennie</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I finally decided to moving back to seoul! Thank you for helping me made up my mind! See you soon binnie xx</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She’s moving back to Seoul. And Hanbin might be the first person she informed. What is it? Why does the nauseating knot back again? And suddenly unwanted thoughts back to his mind. The conversation between him, Hanbin, and the lawyer.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“About the future relationship? About how to deal if one of you having a relationship with someone else?” Mr. Lawyer asked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There’s a pause before Hanbin spoke, “we agreed that our priority is now Miwa, and we’re doing this joined custody so, if… uh, if any of us having another relationship, is it possible to treat it like a, uhm, divorce couple who start another relationship after splitting?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Of course it’s possible.” Mr. lawyer answered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Okay…” Hanbin murmured.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Does it means that Jiwon is not his end game?</p><p>Hanbin is moving under his arms, seems like he’s awaken by Jiwon’s tight hug.</p><p>“Kimji…” he muttered. “sleep…”</p><p>“Hanbin…” he whispers.</p><p>“Hmm…?” Hanbin turned his head, eyelids still glued together.</p><p>“Do you love me?”</p><p>Hanbin lazily giggling, “so much…”</p><p> </p><p>-</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hello... please do comments and let me know what you think.. thank you. xo Abbi</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Good news</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>When the boys got individual good news, but will it be good news for each other?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Jiwon woke up, he realised Hanbin is sitting at the edge of the bed while looking at his cellphone. The uncomfortable feeling is back, pulsating inside his chest. he hasn't forget that someone text the younger last night. </p><p>Will he let Jiwon know about the text?</p><p>or will Hanbin say nothing?</p><p>“Baby…”</p><p>Hanbin twist his head facing Jiwon, “baby? Since when you call me baby?”</p><p>“I just feel like it, I want to dear you so much…” Jiwon reached the younger.</p><p>Hanbin put down his cellphone and joining Jiwon in bed again, “yea, but it’s unusual and cringey.”</p><p>Jiwon's eyes lasted longer to the younger's cellphone but then he turned to his boyfriend. “You hate something cringey, don’t you?” Jiwon smirk.</p><p>Hanbin love his smirk, he loves how Jiwon could effortlessly look like a bad boy, a bad boy he tamed. “Yes, but I like it when it’s you…” Hanbin cupped Jiwon’s face and kiss his cheek.</p><p>“Kiss me!” Jiwon pout his mouth.</p><p>Hanbin giggle before lightly pecked him and jumped off the bed before Jiwon could grab his middle.</p><p>“Where ‘re you going…??”</p><p>“What do you want for breakfast?” Hanbin swoop his cellphone and left to Miwa’s room, “oh look, the lazy cotton ball still sleeping like an angel…” he murmured. “she was sleeping late last night…” he continue murmured while Jiwon watch his back. Hanbin turned to Jiwon and ask again, “what do you want to eat?”</p><p>“You.”</p><p>Hanbin scoffed, “what do you want to eat?”</p><p>“Rice.”</p><p>“Jiwon… rice is only for weekend, remember your sugar level—“</p><p>“It’s weekend.”</p><p>“Ah right!” Hanbin said, “I’m working tonight.”</p><p>“You do? You said you’re gonna work on Sunday?”</p><p>“Yeah, but Junhoe told me to cover him tonight.” he shouts from outside the bedroom.</p><p>“Where is he going?” Jiwon stood up and stretch his back.</p><p>“I didn’t ask,” Hanbin said while rinse the rice, “what are we going to do today?”</p><p>Jiwon followed him to the kitchen, he took a glass of water and drink it before suddenly hugging Hanbin from the back and kissed his neck, “wanna fuck before Miwa wakes up?”</p><p>Hanbin paused, eyes going up like thinking, “hmm,” he said, “no.” the younger put the rice inside the cooker and pressed some buttons.</p><p>Jiwon still hugging him until he felt Hanbin’s cellphone buzzing inside his pocket. He took his hand off of him. “why not?” he asked, hoping his voice doesn’t sound so irritating.</p><p>“Because Miwa will wake up in—“ Hanbin peeked on the wall clock, “ten minutes.”</p><p>“We can do it in five.”</p><p>Hanbin snorts, “Jiwon, is everything okay?”</p><p>Jiwon paused, “why?”</p><p>“I know you asked me do I love you last night, I might be 80% sleeping but I remember that.” The younger released himself from Jiwon's human cage, and left to the fridge to take out tofu, kimchi, and some other ingredients.</p><p>“Can’t I ask you something like that spontaneously?” he asked.</p><p>“Of course you can.”</p><p>“Then why you ask me like there’s something’s wrong?”</p><p>Hanbin stopped and facing Jiwon, “I’m just concerned, I’m afraid that you have something—like problems at the office that you can’t tell me and that makes you anxious about many things…” he cupped Jiwon’s face, “talk to me about everything, okay?”</p><p>Jiwon slowly nodded.</p><p>“You know I love you, right?”</p><p>Jiwon nodded again.</p><p>“So, are you really okay?” Hanbin asked again.</p><p>Should he be anxious about it? Should he ask Hanbin about the text he saw on his phone? Does he overreacting? Yeah, he’s overreacting. “I’m okay, Bin, not anxious about anything, just a little horny.” He loopsidedly smiling, “let’s fuck.”</p><p>Hanbin burst a laugh, he quickly glancing at the stove—still off—and pull Jiwon’s hand towards the guess room, “We can’t fuck, Kimji, I swear Miwa gonna wake up soon, but come on, I’ll give you head.”</p><p>And satisfaction the younger’s mouth gave him, made him forget about the anxiety, even the fact that Hanbin’s phone buzzing several times when the younger was on his knees.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“I tried the song on Haru.” Jisoo said, Haru is sleeping inside Miwa’s baby crib while Miwa and Ezra is eating their afternoon snack with the moms and Hanbin.</p><p>“How was it?” Hanbin asked, his right hand helping Miwa holding a green rock melon.</p><p>“Haru was calm, but he woke up on my second round.” Jisoo took an apple Lisa is cutting.</p><p>“Ya! It’s Ezra’s snack!” Lisa slaps her hand.</p><p>“Second round…?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“Yes,” Jisoo nodded, “You know after Haru is sleeping, I put the song and make out to Yun, and then we had sex and we finished the first round, then we cuddled, and we got hot again so we decided to have the second round, that’s when Haru woke up.”</p><p>Hanbin and Lisa paused, “uhh, how to un-heard…” Lisa said.</p><p>“Oh, come on! Don’t act like you don’t need it…!” Jisoo waved her hands in dismissal, “anyway, Ezra is a toddler, right, he’s more aware than babies like Miwa and Haru… then how do you have sex with Donghyuk?”</p><p>“Well,” Lisa put cut apples in Ezra’s plate, “toddler already have a regular sleeping basis, he also have his own room, so, it’s much easier for us to get sneaky…” she grinned, “but don’t forget to lock the door during sex, and never forget to unlock it after that… do not ever sleep on the locked door!”</p><p>“Why?” Hanbin asked while wiping Miwa’s chin.</p><p>“Me and Donghyuk was sooo exhausted from an intense sex and we were sleeping right away, we forget to unlock the door, and that night, Ezra had a nightmare and run to our room, he couldn’t open the door and screaming outside… oh Gosh… he was crying like hell knows… me and Dongi felt a guilt we never felt before!” Lisa explained, “Donghyuk and I were crying too with Ezra that night.”</p><p>“Why the heck...” Jisoo murmured.</p><p>Lisa shrugged her shoulder.</p><p>“So, in conclusion,” Jisoo said, “your song worked!”</p><p>Hanbin smiling.</p><p>“OMG, oppa gonna work for baby TV!!”</p><p>Hanbin laughs with the girls when the door’s beeping and Hanbin glance at the clock, almost 4 pm, must be Jiwon.</p><p>“Hey, ladies.” Jiwon kicked his shoes and tidy it up when Hanbin glaring at him. “hey, Kimhan.” He bent down and kiss Hanbin, then he took Miwa to his arms because the baby is reaching up for him, “miss Miwa…”</p><p>“Kimji, she’s eating…”</p><p>“Daddy always trying to separate us, hmm? Bad guy!” Jiwon took Miwa’s chubby cheek between his lips and that makes Miwa laughing really hard.</p><p>“Daddy??” Lisa raised her eyebrows, “so now you and Jiwon oppa declare yourself as Miwa’s daddies??”</p><p>“Well, Miwa called Jiwon appa, and she called me dad…” Hanbin couldn’t hide the big smile.</p><p>“OMMOOOOO…!” the girls squealing.</p><p>“I swear I didn’t teach her that!” Hanbin giggling.</p><p>“OOMMMMOOOO…!!!”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey oppa, sent me the picture we took that day.” Lisa said while helping Ezra wearing his shoes, they’re going back to their units.</p><p>“Which one?”</p><p>“The one we took after you work out at the park… us with three kiddos.” Lisa continued.</p><p>“Ah, that one!” Hanbin took his cellphone, “I’ll send that to you right away.”</p><p>“What picture?” Jisoo asked.</p><p>“Remember when you ask me to watch Haru? Hanbin and I went to the park nearby, he was running while I watched the kids, and during the way back, we took mirror wefie at a store window… it was cute, we’re like messy-worn out young couple who couldn’t take care of themselves because we have too much kids.”</p><p>Lisa laughs.</p><p>“Here, look at this.” Hanbin showed Jisoo the picture, “this one, right?” he turned to Lisa.</p><p>“Yes! That one, look!”</p><p>Jisoo burst in laugh, “Oh my Goshhh!”</p><p>Jiwon walked towards Hanbin and peeked over his shoulder, “what’s up?”</p><p>Hanbin showed him the picture, “look, me and Lisa looking like, what, Lis?”</p><p>“Messy-worn out couple who had too much kids.”</p><p>Jiwon saw the picture, Hanbin had Miwa on his chest inside the baby carrier while Lisa pushed Haru’s stroller that has and extender where Ezra stand on it. And with Hanbin in a track suit, Lisa in oversized shirt and short, they do looked like a couple and Jiwon unknowingly scoffed.</p><p>“You okay?” Hanbin seems to realised that.</p><p>Jiwon immediately tug his lips into a thin smile, “uh-hmm. You guys look like a happy couple tho, don’t you think so, Bin?” He said and left to play with Miwa.</p><p>Hanbin didn’t reply, he closed the door after the neighbours bid themselves goodbye and turned to see Jiwon.</p><p>“Kimji,” he said.</p><p>Jiwon lift his head. “yeah?”</p><p>“is it because I didn’t give you what you want?” he asked.</p><p>“Uh… what did I want?” he asked back.</p><p>“Well,” he covered Miwa’s ear, “sex.”</p><p>Jiwon almost choked on his own saliva, “w-what, where the heck that idea came from?”</p><p>“Because you’re not the usual you since last weekend!” He flopped beside Jiwon and Miwa, “look, I’m sorry okay…”</p><p>“Why? Why you’re sorry?”</p><p>“Last Saturday when you asked me to, you know, F word.” Hanbin lower his voice, “I only suck you off… and then I went to work and went home super late, I know you were waiting for me, but I was too exhausted to even kiss you, so I kind off brushed you off when you tried again…” now the younger is pouting, “on Sunday, I swear I was about to attacked you in the morning but Miwa woke up early… and I had to work again at night…” Hanbin lean his head on Miwa’s head, “last night you were sleeping with your back on me…”</p><p>Jiwon honestly feel bad that Hanbin had to be the one apologized for his antics. He was busy with his own anxiety about Hanbin meeting Jennie behind his back, he was trying to reach Junhoe but he didn’t pick up, he doesn’t know anyone else he could ask about if Jennie is already in Seoul, and worse, went to Créma to see Hanbin (well, he know Won but he couldn’t really ask him about this matter).</p><p>“Look,” Jiwon reached Hanbin’s shoulder and pull the younger closer to him, “I know we only got time for you to gave me head, but that was a mindblowing one! And the night after your work on Saturday, trust me, I only want to be close to you, that’s why I got too cuddly, I didn’t mean to F word you that night… and when I slept with my back on you… I’m really sorry, I didn’t realised that… but hey! You could spoon me if you’re that guilty!”</p><p>Hanbin smiles, “I thought you don’t like being the little spoon.”</p><p>“I like it when it’s you.” Jiwon leaned forward and Hanbin caught his lips, Jiwon smiles because Hanbin’s lips still taste the same, buttery soft under his kisses. The younger still kissing him like he meant it, and Jiwon still loving the way he got his lower lips biten by Hanbin.</p><p>“Kiwss…” Miwa mumbled.</p><p>They both parted and Hanbin raised his eyebrows, “what? You jealous??”</p><p>“Kiwzz…” Miwa showed her toothless smile.</p><p>“Okay, come here!” Jiwon said and lift her to the air and then pecked her small lips. “one kiss from appa…” he brought Miwa to Hanbin and the younger also pecked her lips.</p><p>“One kiss from daddy!”</p><p>Miwa giggles and laughing harder when Jiwon suddenly stood up and swing her gently, “now miss Miwa should sleep so appa and daddy can cuddle!”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon fished his cellphone from his coat when it rang. Hanbin.</p><p>“Yes, Kimhan…?” he said.</p><p>“YoungbaehyungsaidtheCEOwantstoseemetotalkaboutthefurthercontract.” He said in a breathe.</p><p>Jiwon stopped walking in the middle of hospital hallway, forget about the urgency to go to the coffee machine before the meeting with people from Jeju hospital in five minutes. “Okay, alien give the phone to my boyfriend, he speaks human language.”</p><p>“they offered me a contract. They like the song and will buy it from me.”</p><p>“Does it means that you’ll work there?”</p><p>“They need me as a composer, I mean, I don’t know—I don’t understand the detail! But they will send me someone to help me with all of this!” Hanbin said.</p><p>Jiwon saw Mino walked with one of his senior towards the meeting room, Mino signal him that the meeting is going to start soon, so Jiwon forget his coffee and follow them instead. “hey, breathe and tell me the detail conversation that happened there! I wanna know what happened.”</p><p>Hanbin giggled, “so, I met Youngbae hyung in TV M building,” the older understand this because he knows baby TV korea owned by TV M, “and we met two other guys, they’re producer and some engineer or something… they listen to my three songs and review it, they said it’s nice, the producer even said that the Miwa song gonna fit their new segment—this one, I honestly didn’t really listen because Youngbae hyung started to talk about meeting the CEO of TV M.”</p><p>“Kimhan…” Jiwon said.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“I really have to go because of this freaking general meeting.” He said, “but—“ he literally speechless, “you’re going home now, aren't you?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“See you very soon at home.”</p><p>“Okay.</p><p>“And tell me everything again from the start!”</p><p>“Kimji…” he whines.</p><p>“I love you, I’m so proud of you.”</p><p>Hanbin replied to him with a short laughter before they hung the phone call.</p><p> </p><p>“Whatta lovey dovey couple…” Mino chuckles when Jiwon sat beside him.</p><p>“Baby TV likes his tunes and gonna use it, he also got offer from TV M.” Jiwon couldn’t contain his proudness.</p><p>“Whoaa, big deal,” Mino said, “he’s gonna work there?”</p><p>Jiwon shrugged, “still haven’t heard the detail.”</p><p>“Good afternoon, gentlemen.” Jiwon’s manager greet everyone.</p><p>Jiwon looked around, he sees only him, his manager, and Mino. “I, I thought we’re having general meeting…”</p><p>“Yes, well,” Jiwon’s manager clasped his hands, “Jiwon we would like to inform you a good news.”</p><p>Jiwon feel a good kind of heart race, “good news?”</p><p>His manager nodded, “you’re going to transferred to Jeju hospital.”</p><p> </p><p>“W-what??” Jiwon gulped, “why?” he asked.</p><p>“We went through your record and work ethic and we think that you deserve the special course to be Pharm.D, and the course is in Jeju.”</p><p>“Pharm.D? special course??” he fully understood that. It took years to extend the study from pharmacist to get a pharm.D license, and special course means an intensive study to get the degree faster.</p><p>“Less than two years if you’re good.”</p><p>Jiwon is speechless, first thing got into his mind was Hanbin. he’s thinking about how the younger will react, will he be happy for him? This is not an everyday opportunity and being a pharm.D means better salary. And better salary means better savings for Miwa.</p><p>“Jiwon?” Mino nudge him.</p><p>“I, uh, I’ll think about it.”</p><p> </p><p>_</p><p> </p><p>“You’re kidding, right?” Mino raised his voice, “you’re chosen! And you said you’re gonna think about it??”</p><p>Jiwon make a sudden turn and Mino cursed because he almost hit him, “I have a daughter and Hanbin!”</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“So??” Jiwon raised his voice, “I can’t move to Jeju without them!”</p><p>“Ji, you can bring them along!” Mino released a loud sigh, “you know this kind of program allowed you to bring family, right?”</p><p>Jiwon shrugged.</p><p>“They do!”</p><p>“Yeah, but does Hanbin wants to move to Jeju?”</p><p>“Well, why not?”</p><p>Jiwon snorts, “didn’t you remember I, I told you Hanbin just get a new job?”</p><p>Mino stops, “oh well…”</p><p>Jiwon took a heavy breathe, “I’ll get going, see you.” He get into his car and leave Mino.</p><p>_</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon stopped in front of the apartment door, again and again he inhaled a big amount of oxygen before hitting the door code. Jiwon stepped into the unit and found an unfamiliar shoes.</p><p>“Jiwon, you’re home!” Hanbin said.</p><p>He turned to the kitchen and saw a their lawyer.</p><p>“Mr. lawyer…”</p><p>“I have a name, so stop calling me mr. Lawyer.”</p><p>“Do Kyungsoo-ssi…” Jiwon bowed.</p><p>“Kyungsoo-ssi stopped by to give us the documents about Miwa’s adoption, and I ask him to check on my contract.”</p><p>“You have the contract with you already?” Jiwon asked.</p><p>“Yup, they gave me the copy to get through it first…” Hanbin said, “the talk was brief because I left Miwa with Lisa.”</p><p>Jiwon nodded, “and how was it?”</p><p>“Nice,” Kyungsoo said, “basically an agreement about music copyrights, and other settlement.”</p><p>Jiwon really need to know if he’s going to work full time in the company or not. “what about the working hour?”</p><p>“What working hour?” Hanbin asked back.</p><p>“You’re gonna work there, aren’t you?”</p><p>Hanbin laughs, “No, Jiwon, no, I’m a uh—freelancer?” he turned to Kyungsoo and he nodded, “This contract is more about my products, not me, because I don’t need to go to the office everyday… well, I’d have a studio—shared with other composers—but I could work from anywhere! Isn’t that great?”</p><p>Something got lighter inside his chest, some worries are dismissed. But until Kyungsoo bid himself goodbye, Jiwon still don’t know how to tell Hanbin about the mutation to Jeju.</p><p>“Hey Bin…”</p><p>“Hm…” the younger tidying up Jiwon’s shoes after closing the door for Kyungsoo.</p><p>“Where’s Miwa?”</p><p>“Oh, she’s still with Lisa and Donghyuk.” He said, “I asked them to watch her for me, but when I’m about to pick her up, turned out Ezra’s family is going to groceries now, they bring Miwa with them.”</p><p>“Oh…” Jiwon murmured.</p><p>“So…” Hanbin suddenly climb the older’s lap.</p><p>Jiwon surprised but his heart also pounding from excitement, “Soo…?”</p><p>“You see the number?”</p><p>“Number?”</p><p>“The price of my song…”</p><p>Jiwon honestly, didn’t saw it, “it’s big?”</p><p>“Huuuge, Jiwon!” he laughs and bent down to kissed Jiwon’s jawline.</p><p>“Uh, Bin… I also have a news…”</p><p>Hanbin pulled away a bit, but his arms still circling the older’s neck.</p><p>“The meeting earlier…” Jiwon played with Hanbin’s shirt button, “my manager told me that I’m chosen to be the candidate of pharm.D special course.”</p><p>Hanbin tilt his head.</p><p>“You remember pharm.D, right? Like Mino…” Jiwon looking up to meet the younger’s gaze, and he saw him nodded, “well, it takes years to complete the certificate, but with special course it means that I could get the degree much sooner… Bin, it is like a lifetime opportunity.”</p><p>“Then it is a good news!!”</p><p>Jiwon smiles, “yeah it is…”</p><p>Hanbin push him and slowly kissing him, he’s in a very good mood and there’s no way Jiwon will ruin this—if his news ever ruining it. Well, he hasn’t tried but he will not try, not now, not today, not when Hanbin is grinding above him and devouring his lips, pouring hot kisses down his face and jawline, trailing down his neck and chest, while his not-so innocent hand unbuckling Jiwon’s pants and playing with his length.</p><p>Lusty moans are the only sound heard when Hanbin wrapped his plump lips around him. “Bin…”</p><p>“Hmm…” the guttery sound made vibration on his length and sent shiver down the older’s spine.</p><p>“I don’t wanna cum like this—I wann—“</p><p>Hanbin release Jiwon with a electrifying pop sound, “you wanna fuck me?”</p><p>Jiwon nodding, quick and fast, “yes.”</p><p>Hanbin pull him towards the bedroom while peeling layers of fabrics on their bodies, Jiwon doesn’t really care about it, he keep on kissing the younger hungrily, his thoughts stops as if heart and body taking over. Jiwon squeezes the younger’s waist hard, it might bruise him, but they don’t care, lips crashing, teeth clashing, skin redden from sucking attempts.</p><p>And the air getting heavier, breathe getting harder without a sound. Hanbin muttered something under his touch. “You close? Huh? Baby?” Jiwon asked, lips brushing together.</p><p>He breathe out an answer, something like yes, something like yeah. Jiwon increase his pace, thrusting harder made the younger moaning louder. He grabbed Hanbin’s nape and kiss his mouth hard, Hanbin unable to kiss him back. He was high, eyes rolled when finally he cums.</p><p>“You like that, huh?” Jiwon bite Hanbin’s lips, “how was it, huh, how was that baby?” he’s still inside the younger still slowly pumping him.</p><p>“wan’more…” Breathlessly he replied.</p><p>“Ohh…” Jiwon flips him so Hanbin is on his four, dragging his lips along his spine, Jiwon entering him again, “remember that you’re the one asking for this…”</p><p>He slams in and the rest was Hanbin being a moaning mess.</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon wrapped Hanbin inside the warm blanket after he did the after care because it’s almost impossible for Hanbin to even open his eyes. Jiwon kissed his hair few times before jumped off the bed because he heard the door bell rang. Miwa is here.</p><p>He has a chitty chat with Donghyuk before they left and he brought Miwa to his bed.</p><p>“Bin, Miwa’s home.” Jiwon said.</p><p>Hanbin opened his eyes and smiles, “you had fun, Miw?” he mumbled.</p><p>“Daddyyy…” Miwa climbed the younger’s shoulder and stayed there.</p><p>“You hungry?”</p><p>“Lisa said Miwa ate with them.” Jiwon replied.</p><p>“What about you? Want me to cook something?”</p><p>“No, I’m full… full of you.” Jiwon rest beside Hanbin.</p><p>“Cringey.”</p><p>Jiwon laughs.</p><p>“Hey Bin…” Jiwon run his fingers, carding the younger's hair gently, he couldn't explain the ache, maybe fullness, caused by fond he feels for the guy beside him.</p><p>“Hmm…” the younger’s eyes is half closed.</p><p>“Will you always be by my side?”</p><p>“What’s with you and the sentimental questions, Ji…?”</p><p>“I just wanna know…” he fiddled their fingers together.</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“Wherever?”</p><p>“Yeah, whenever…” Hanbin hums.</p><p>“No, I asked, where-ever.”</p><p>Hanbin paused, “Yeah, as long as you want me and Miwa to be there, we’ll be there.” Hanbin opened his eyes and pull Miwa into his hug.</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon smiles. Today marked the 6th months they live together, they’re still learning but one thing that is sure for Jiwon is that he loves the boy and the baby beside him. And hoping that love is enough.</p><p> </p><p>-</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you think~~ xo abbi.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. New Girl in Town</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>“I can’t believe it!!”</p><p>Jiwon who is washing his car in apartment yard (they have a corner for residents to wash their cars) turned around and see Jinhwan walking with Jisoo.</p><p>“You and Hanbin are in laws, and you guys are not married!” Jinhwan fold his hands in front his chest, his cute face pouting, making it ten thousand times cuter.</p><p>Jisoo beside him giggling, and Jiwon didn’t see Haru with them, must be with Yunhyeong.</p><p>“Morning guys…”</p><p>Jinhwan rolled his eyes, “you lied to me! For what?? So I won’t court you?”</p><p>“I didn’t know you’re interested in courting me?” Jiwon chuckles, he spin the faucet off. “Where did you guys found out?”</p><p>“Yun.” Jisoo said, “your observer and lawyer went to eat in Yun’s noodle shop and they talked.”</p><p>Jiwon smiles, “I’m very sorry, I had to lie to everyone…”</p><p>“So, you and Hanbin are actually singles??” Jinhwan asked.</p><p>“Are you gonna court me?” Jiwon smirks.</p><p>Jinhwan rolled his eyes again, “no.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I can’t choose between courting you or Hanbin, you both are my type.” Jinhwan shrugged.</p><p>Jiwon laughs, “good, because me and Hanbin are dating.”</p><p>“Is this another lie?” Jinhwan asked.</p><p>“No, I’m telling the truth this time.”</p><p> </p><p>“Jiwon.”</p><p>Three of them turned to the voice, there’s Hanbin with Miwa inside the carrier.</p><p>“Oh, morning everyone.” Hanbin smiles, then turned to Jiwon, “what took you so long? You’ve been washing the car since two hours a go.” Jiwon wiped his hands on his pants and take Miwa from Hanbin “I don’t have time, I have to go to TV M.”</p><p>“I washed yours too.” Jiwon pointing at a certain direction.</p><p>“Oh my… thank you!”</p><p>“No probs, just love me harder.” Jiwon gave the key to Hanbin and let the younger kiss Miwa and him before saying goodbye to Jinhwan and Jisoo.</p><p>“Okay, you two looks like real couple.” Jinhwan said.</p><p>“of course! We’re real couple.” Jiwon laughs, “ehm, nuna,” Jiwon said to Jisoo.</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“Would you watch Miwa while I’m drying the car and move it to the parking lot?”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“How’s the interview going?” Hanbin put down his cup of coffee at the wooden table.</p><p>“Went well, and the company building is across the street.”</p><p>Hanbin look around, this area is the CBD of Seoul, where almost all big company buildings are, including TV M.</p><p>“It’s very near from TV M building, Jen.”</p><p>Jennie who sat across him smiling, “we can have lunch together during break if I’m accepted in Hera.”</p><p>Hera is the luxury cosmetic brand placed in the 5-7 floor of the tall building right crossway from TV M. he applied there and several others brands and this morning she told Hanbin that she’s having interview in Yeouido Business district and Hanbin said he has a meeting also in Yeouido and here they are, having coffee for brunch.</p><p>“Sure.” Hanbin smiles.</p><p>“I’m so happy that you got recognized by big company!”</p><p>“I can’t believe that either.” Hanbin sips his coffee.</p><p>“can I hear the song? Or is it restricted?”</p><p>Hanbin laughs, “it’s a baby song, just a sleepy instrument.” Hanbin pull out his cellphone, “and it’s not restricted yet.” He played the song.</p><p>“Yeah, I feel calm already.”</p><p>“Are you a baby, or what?”</p><p>Jennie sighs, “I wish I’m a baby so don’t have to work…”</p><p>Hanbin replied her with a smile.</p><p>“Hey, how’s your daughter and your boyfriend?”</p><p>“Jiwon has afternoon shift today, he’ll leave for the office after lunch, that’s when I have to be home to watch Miwa.”</p><p>“So cute!” Jennie pouts, “where do you live?”</p><p>“Mapo, it’s a nice neighbourhood tho.”</p><p>“Yeah, Mapo is considered central…”</p><p>“Where do you live, Jen? Still with your parents?”</p><p>“They live in outskirt of the town, it’s too far from here, I think I’m gonna move to somewhere near here—but again,<em> if</em> I’m accepted in Hera.”</p><p>Hanbin nodded, he’s happy to be able to talk like this with Jennie, he feels Jennie is really changed. “Hey, I have to go to buy some lunch and then heading home.”</p><p>“Okay, I’ll have lunch around here while waiting for another interview.”</p><p>“You have another interview today?” Hanbin asked her while wiping the water from his drink’s dew on the table.</p><p>Jennie nodded, “yeah, but not in this area, it’s in Gangnam at 4, clean freak.””</p><p>Hanbin laughs, “old habit die hard. So, you’re gonna wander around until 4?”</p><p>Jennie also take his cup and pointed at the dew, asking Hanbin to wipe it for her, “thank you” she murmured, “well, going back home will take time, so it’s better to stay in the city.”</p><p>“Hey, Jen, Gangnam is not very far from my house, you wanna stop by and have lunch there?”</p><p>Jennie paused, “you sure? Will Jiwon okay with it?”</p><p>“Of course! Jiwon is an ease person… he likes people more than I do.”</p><p>Jennie laughs, “he’s the friendly one in your relationship?”</p><p>Hanbin nodded while they walked outside the coffeeshop.</p><p>“I was the friendly one in our relationship.” Jennie said.</p><p>“You wished! You hate people too, just like me!”</p><p>Jennie laughs, and so Hanbin.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon furrowed his eyebrows when he heard laughter outside the door before beeping sound of Hanbin hitting the door’s code. He recognized it was unfamiliar sound of laughter, not Jisoo’s or Lisa’s</p><p>And his guess was right.</p><p>“Kimji, remember Jennie?”</p><p>“Oh, hello.” Jiwon waved at her.</p><p>“Whoaa, nice place!” Jennie bowed at Jiwon and then looked around.</p><p>“Come in.” Jiwon said.</p><p>“Thank you.” Jennie took off her shoes and placed it neatly on the corridor and Jiwon feel another dusturbing tug in his chest. Jennie has similar habit with Hanbin. “may I look around?”</p><p>“Sure.” Hanbin replied from the kitchen, he took two glasses of water and put one on the counter.</p><p>Again, Jiwon creased his eyebrows because Hanbin should’ve kiss him first whenever he’s home, but confronting him is not easy right now, and he doesn’t understand why.</p><p>“Where’s Miwa?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“Sleeping.”</p><p>Hanbin pout, “whyyy… I missed her.”</p><p>
  <em>What about me? Do you miss me? Or are you forgetting me because your ex is here?</em>
</p><p>Hanbin went into Miwa’s room, “Kimjii…” he called the older.</p><p>Jiwon going after him, “hm?”</p><p>Hanbin pull his arm and kiss him.</p><p>“W-what the heck, Bin?” he chuckled, “why here? You can’t kiss me in front of Jennie?”</p><p>Hanbin paused, “it will be weird.” He shrugs.</p><p>“No I don’t think so.”</p><p>“Will you kiss me in front of—“</p><p>“Who? Jinwoo? Yes.” He said, “the fact that I kissed you in front of him even before we officially dating.”</p><p>“Oh right,” Hanbin rolled his eyes, “to make him jealous.”</p><p>“The hell? I kissed you to let him know that it’s over between me and him.”</p><p>“Exactly! And that’s the weird part, Jiwon, it should’ve been over even without you kissed me that day, you broke up and he’s engaged to someone else!”</p><p>“Don’t put it up on me, it’s about you couldn’t even kiss me in front of your ex.” Jiwon grunt and leave the room, he could hear Hanbin grunting in frustration. He looked around and found Jennie is in the balcony.</p><p>She turned around and nod to Jiwon, “the balcony is not big but it’s very comfortable.” She smiles.</p><p>“it is.” Jiwon shortly replied.</p><p>“Oh I wish they still have unit like this here, this place is gorgeous!!” Jennie cheerfully said when Hanbin stepped out the room. “but it’s too big, I mean, three bedroom for one single girl?” she turned to Hanbin, “Bin, I saw Haneul oppa’s picture,” she walked towards Hanbin, caressing his arm and sighs, “I’m so sorry…”</p><p>Jiwon squints his eyes, he choose to ignore it while he can.</p><p>“Hey it’s fine, I’m over it.” Hanbin turned to Jiwon, “he helped me get through it.”</p><p>She showed Hanbin a sad smile before turned to Jiwon, “Jiwon-ssi, your sister is so pretty.”</p><p>Jiwon stretch his lips into a thin smile, “thanks…”</p><p>Jiwon helped Hanbin prepared lunch while Jennie sat on the floor playing with Miwa. Jennie teased Miwa by acting cute all the time and gets Miwa giggling.</p><p>“I think she likes me.” Jennie said while tickling Miwa. “baby recognize another baby… and me is a baby too.”</p><p>Hanbin scoffed, “you’re not cute at all.”</p><p>“Ya!” Jennie brought Miwa towards the kitchen when she saw the food is ready, “you liked me because I’m pretty and cute.” She murmured.</p><p>Jiwon knew Hanbin glancing at him, trying to read his reaction whenever Jennie brought up her past relationship with Hanin, so he decided to laugh just to make Hanbin think that he’s chill. “food is ready, let’s eat, I’ll put Miwa to her chair.” Jiwon took Miwa from Jennie and kissed the baby, “you want some snack miss Miwa? Banana?”</p><p>Miwa mumbling while nodding.</p><p>Jiwon peeled a banana for her. “say thank you, appa.”</p><p>“Chankyuuuw appaa…”</p><p>Jennie paused, trying to translate the situation “she calls you appa?” Jiwon turned to Jennie, hearing a sharp tone from her. But then Jennie immediately smiling widely, “sooo cute!”</p><p>Jiwon didn’t replied, just mouthing thank you when Hanbin gave him his plate.</p><p>“So, binnie,” Jennie said with her mouth full of rice, “what is your plan for your birthday?”</p><p>Birthday. Hanbin’s birthday.</p><p><em>When is it?</em> Jiwon alerted.</p><p>“Hmmm, I don’t know, it’ll be on the weekend, I might working.” Hanbin shrugged his shoulder.</p><p>“Then celebrate it in the club.” Jennie suggested.</p><p>Jiwon exhaled, then he put down his chopsticks, “hey, I gotta go.”</p><p>Hanbin looking at the clock, “but it’s still—“</p><p>He can’t . he just can’t stand to be around for another second. Jiwon need to leave to clear his mind because now he’s being irrational, he got triggered by Jennie and his heart keep telling his brain that Jennie doing it all on purpose while his brain trying to be calm. “I forgot that I have to pick up something before going to the office.” Jiwon drank his water, kissed Miwa briefly and pull Hanbin’s chin to give him a peck. “Bye, Jennie-ssi.”</p><p>_</p><p> </p><p>“Ssup?” Mino who just back from lunch with Tzuyu and Baekhyun patted his back while Jiwon is looking like he’s spacing out at the common room.</p><p>“Oh hey.” Jiwon smiles.</p><p>“I heard you got the special course opportunity?” Baekhyun sat beside him.</p><p>“Yes, hyung.” Jiwon feels there’s heavy burden everytime he has to talk about the course and moving to Jeju.</p><p>“Oh so envious.” Baekhyun sighs, “next year I’ll be 28 and it’s gonna be my last year to be able to take the course.”</p><p>“Isn’t the maximum age is 30, oppa?” Tzuyu asked.</p><p>“No, it’s 28.” Baekhyun replied. “ah, I’m gonna get ready to go home. Happy working second shifters!”</p><p>Mino sat across Jiwon and slide his coffee to him, “I haven’t drink it.”</p><p>“Thanks.” Jiwon took the cup and sip it.</p><p>“So, have you talk to Hanbin about the course?” Mino asked, Jiwon just shrugged without saying anything, “I knew it… I knew you haven’t talked t him.”</p><p>“I did,” Jiwon paused, “I told him I got the opportunity, but I haven’t told him about moving to Jeju…”</p><p>Mino sighs, so does Jiwon.</p><p>“Hey, do you know when is Hanbin’s birthday?” Jiwon asked.</p><p>“No, don’t… why?”</p><p>“So do i…” Jiwon murmured.</p><p>“What the—“ Mino flinched, “how??”</p><p>“It’s coming, it’s near, and it’s on the weekend…” Jiwon grunts, “damn it. Who should I ask??”</p><p>“Uhhm… his mom?”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon is home around 9 pm, he shrug his jacket off and hang it on the hook while searched around, the TV is off, and no sound from anywhere.</p><p>Is Hanbin not home? Does he going out with Miwa? And Jennie? Like family??</p><p>“Kimhan…” Jiwon called him.</p><p>No answer.</p><p>“Kimhaaan…” he changed into his grey slippers and go to Miwa’s room.</p><p>Miwa’s not there.</p><p>Temper almost taking over. Jiwon almost convinced that Hanbin is hang out with Jennie when he found Hanbin sleeping with Miwa in the master bedroom. Miwa sleeps beside him still holding her favorite winnie teether, while Hanbin had a bedtime stories book in his hand.</p><p>“Kimhan…” Jiwon sat on the edge of the bed.</p><p>Hanbin slowly open his eyes, “oh, hey Ji…” he murmured. He stretched his arms while yawning, “oaaai’m oversleep while read her a book..hhh…”</p><p>Jiwon smiles, “go sleep, I’ll take her to her bed.”</p><p>“Noo… I have some works to do.” He sat up, “have you had your dinner?”</p><p>Jiwon shook his head, he feels silly but he reject his senior’s offer to stop by a place to eat because he needs to be home as soon as possible to see if Jennie still there. But Hanbin doesn’t need to know that.</p><p>“You want me to reheat something for you?” Hanbin snugs to Jiwon, claiming a hug from the older.</p><p>“What do we have?” Jiwon asked, carding the younger’s hair and kissing his temple, “beside steamed tofu.”</p><p>“Banana.”</p><p>They both laughing.</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin took some banchan, leftover meat and veggies, mixed it with gochujang while jiwon sat on the kitchen island, watching his boyfriend making food for him.</p><p>“Mixed rice.” Hanbin slide a big bowl to Jiwon.</p><p>“You’re the best.” Jiwon said, “and I haven’t kissed you.”</p><p>Hanbin lean in so Jiwon could reach his lips. Jiwon enveloping Hanbin’s lips softly and ended it with a sift biting on the younger’s lower lips.</p><p>Hanbin squints his eyes, “naughty!”</p><p>Jiwon shrugs his shoulder “Can’t helped it.” He chuckles, “Hey, Bin…”</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“I’m sorry about this afternoon… I shouldn’t confront you like that.”</p><p>Hanbin sat beside him on the kitchen island, cupping Jiwon’s face and kiss him again, now he’s the one biting his lower lips. They giggling before Hanbin said, “okay.” and demand Jiwon to feed him because the rice looks good.</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon sleeps earlier than Hanbin because the younger need to revise some tunes for his next meeting with Youngbae. Hanbin finished around midnight, he walked towards the bedroom, he rest beside Jiwon, propped his head with an arm while watching Jiwon sleeping.</p><p>A smile bloomed in his face, with his contract in baby TV and Jiwon’s opportunity to be Pharm.D it means a better savings for Miwa. Hanbin run his thumb over the older’s cheekbone, he knew their life is heading to somewhere better.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jennie</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I got accepted in Hera!! OMG!! Soo happy! Hey Bin, let’s have lunch tomorrow, my treat! And please ask Jiwon-ssi to come. And bring Miwa toooo!^^</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin showed the text to Jiwon.</p><p>“What’s this?” Jiwon read it while getting ready to go to the hospital, he has an afternoon shift again today.</p><p>“Lunch, tomorrow, before you’re going to work.”</p><p>Jiwon paused, “but I have a morning shift tomorrow.”</p><p>“Oh…” Hanbin paused, he sounds disappointed “Uhm, but… can I go?”</p><p>Jiwon lift his head towards the younger, something warm get into his chest because Hanbin is asking a permission from him. He feels hundred times important than he ever be.</p><p>“Do you have anything else to do? Like work or so?” Jiwon asked, Hanbin shook his head, “then go…” he stood up and hug Hanbin, pressing his lips on the younger’s temple, “bring Miwa with you and have fun.”</p><p>Hanbin settled his head on the crook of Jiwon’s neck, “whatever we’ll eat tomorrow, I’ll bring it home for you, for dinner.”</p><p>“Deal.” Jiwon grinning, “so she got accepted?”</p><p>“Yup.”</p><p>“And now you’re friends with her?”</p><p>“Yup. She’s your friend too now.” Hanbin help Jiwon buttoning his shirt and the older feel silly for ever being jealous over Jennie. Jennie invite him for lunch beside Hanbin, it means that she moved on, right?</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Jennie chirpily waving her hand when Hanbin get into the restaurant, a famous wonton and spicy cold noodle restaurant.</p><p>“Where’s Jiwon-ssi??” Jennie asked.</p><p>“Working, he said hi to you.”</p><p>Jennie grinned. “I’d like to meet him to apologised.”</p><p>“Why?” Hanbin furrowed his eyebrows.</p><p>“Relaaax,” Jennie chuckled, “I need to say sorry for bothering you too often!” she sighs, “I don’t have friends yet, my old friends are nowhere to be found!”</p><p>Hanbin prevent Miwa’s attempt to take a chopstick.</p><p>“You remember Irene? Joy? Where are they now?”</p><p>Hanbin know they’re Jennie’s closest friend before she moved to Japan. “Well, I don’t know…”</p><p>“Me neither…” she pouts.</p><p>“Hey, it’s okay, you’ll have a lot of friends once you start working.” Their order coming and Hanbin prepared tous and snacks for Miwa so she won’t be so bored.</p><p>“Binnie…”</p><p>“Hmm?” his eyes still on Miwa.</p><p>“I can’t believe you’re a father now, I mean, look at you! You’re taking care of her really well… i—“ she paused, “I kinda tear up here.”</p><p>“Jen, you serious?” Hanbin look up and she actually tearing up. “Oh my God…” Hanbin took a napkin and hand it to Jennie.</p><p>“It suits you, even tho I know more than half people here thought you might impregnant—“</p><p>“My high school sweet heart.”</p><p>“Many people told you that?”</p><p>Hanbin shook his head, “none, but Jiwon said that once.”</p><p>They were talking about many things, Hanbin is happy to find the Jennie he knew looong before they started dating, Jennie that is funny, cute, and attentive.</p><p>“…and the son of the land lord has a noodle shop, I went there several times, it’s actually delicious! I’ll take you there one day.” Hanbin tell her about Yunhyeong.</p><p>“It’s a must! You know how much I love noodles!”</p><p>“I know Jen, any kind of noodle.” Hanbin laughs, “don’t you sick of ramen during your stay in Japan?”</p><p>“Nope, will never sick of noodle…” Jennie grinned.</p><p>“Right—“ suddenly Miwa’s hand slapping a glass, Hanbin is good enough to caught it before it hits the floor, but his pants is now wet. “Oh, noo… Kim Miwaaa…” Hanbin sighs.</p><p>Miwa starting to pout because she’s startled too.</p><p>“Hey, hey I’m not mad… it’s okay…” Hanbin took her from the baby chair.</p><p>Jennie laughs, “go clean yourself! I’ll watch her.” She extend her hands to Miwa, “here, Miwa, let Daddy go to the bathroom.”</p><p>Hanbin left and Jennie walk back and forth to comfort Miwa. Miwa still crying so Jennie decided to pay the food so she could go out to distract Miwa.</p><p>“She’s very pretty.” The cashier said.</p><p>“I know right…” Jennie smiles.</p><p>“She looks exactly like your husband.”</p><p>Jennie paused, she’s looking at Miwa, Miwa is one of the cutest baby she ever know, and she also behaves really well. Jennie turned back to the cashier and said, “yup, she took all his features.” She said while finishing the payment.</p><p>“Thank you ma’am.”</p><p>Jennie took a light breathe before saying, “and please tell my husband, I’m waiting outside.”</p><p>“Sure.” The cashier nodded.</p><p>Jennie left the shop, walking back and forth at the sidewalk to keep Miwa’s smile because she seems to like the bouncing. “Oh look at you little baby…” Jennie lift Miwa and she giggled, “You’re so pretty… you know that?”</p><p>Miwa is giggling again, “Hey, Miwa, let me tell you something.” Jennie smiles very sweetly before continued, “I want to be your mom.” Cute smiel disappeared from Jennie’s face, she’s looking sharply to Miwa.</p><p>Miwa tilting her head and furrowing her eyebrows because she sensing that Jennie is being serious.</p><p>“Because you deserves a mom and a dad…” she scoffed, “not two dads.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>-</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i know, i know, you hate jennie here... but it's not over yet my dears... lmao... angst is coming y'all. xo abbi</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. All better</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>love don't say goodbye, leave me wondering why.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>please do search the song by Mayer Hawthorne - All better and play it in where in put the lyrics (on the story) make it as the ost.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“October 22,” Jiwon said to Mino.</p><p>“Uhm, no it’s October 18 and it’s cold as fuck.” He adjust his coat.</p><p>“No, I mean Hanbin’s birthday in on October 22.” Jiwon said, “what should I get him?”</p><p>“The good news that you all gonna move to Jeju, living on a small pretty house in the sea side.” Mino slip himself quickly inside the restaurant where they gonna have their lunch.</p><p>“I don’t know about that…” he murmured.</p><p>“Why don’t you try? For good sake! Try to ask him! You never know his perceive towards the news if you never tried.” Mino took the menu book, “who knew he’s going to love the idea.”</p><p>Jiwon paused, then he shrugged his shoulder. “hey gotta go. I have to pick up Hanbin and Miwa.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“I’m serious, hyung,” Hanbin said, he’s on the phone with Youngbae while pushing Miwa’s stroller, “I know it’s an opportunity, but I don’t have any babysitter and I’m still haven’t thinking about enroll Miwa to a daycare…” he reached the lobby and look around, seems like Jiwon hasn’t arrived, “I’m really sorry that have to turn down the full time composer offer… for now being the freelancer is enough, hyung, at least until Miwa is going to school.” He said, “okay, hyung, thank you so much. I’ll talk to you soon!”</p><p>Hanbin went to a shopping center to buy some necessities for Miwa. The younger’s waiting for Jiwon at the lobby, Jiwon said he’ll pick him up and they’re going to grab food for dinner at home.</p><p>“Hey…” Jiwon said when Hanbin get into the car.</p><p>Hanbin let Jiwon kissed Miwa before he put the baby on the car seat at the back.</p><p>“What do you want for dinner?” Hanbin climbed the passenger seat.</p><p>“Hmm… something spicy is good.” Jiwon glance at the rear mirror as he drives, “hey the spicy noodle you brought me home is good, I want that.”</p><p>“Hmm? Which one?” Hanbin tilt his head.</p><p>“The day you met Jennie.”</p><p>“Oh, good! It’s near here… just turn right after that store.” Hanbin pointed at a building, “I’m gonna buy the wonton, it’s sooo good!”</p><p>“You hungry? Wanna eat there?”</p><p>“Very much! But I think we’ll stick to take out because Miwa is sleepy.”</p><p>“Okay.” Jiwon said.</p><p>“Okay.” Hanbin repeating in cute way.</p><p>Jiwon reached the younger’s chin and pull him closer to kiss him, “so cute.”</p><p>“Cuter than Miwa?”</p><p>“Oh don’t you dare compare my daughter to anyone… not even you.”</p><p> </p><p>They get into the shop and Hanbin wrote their order in a take away order sheet and went to the bathroom, leaving Jiwon and Miwa on his arms.</p><p>Suddenly the cashier looking at Miwa and smiling, “Miwa, isn’t it?”</p><p>Jiwon surprised, “oh, you know Miwa?”</p><p>“I recognized her and also I saw her father on the hall near the restroom.”</p><p>“Oh you knew Hanbin?”</p><p>“Well, I don’t know him personally but he came here few days a go with Miwa...”</p><p>“Oh I see…” Jiwon replied, Hanbin indeed was there with Jennie too.</p><p>“… and his wife.”</p><p>Jiwon paused, “wife? Jennie?”</p><p>“I don’t remember her name, sir, but she was holding Miwa while paying the food. Her husband was in the rest room, she paid the food because baby Miwa was crying and she comforted her outside. She told me to tell her husband that she’s waiting outside.”</p><p>“oh…” Jiwon murmured.</p><p>“She said that Miwa took all his husband’s features, they’re such a lovely young couple.”</p><p>
  <em>Lovely young couple.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Hey.” Hanbin came and kissed the sleepy Miwa, “you want me to hold her?” he asked Jiwon.</p><p>Jiwon just shook his head and didn’t say anything else while waiting for the food.</p><p>They received the foods and the cashier waving her hands to Miwa, “bye bye cute baby, say hi to mommy.”</p><p>Hanbin politely smile but the he scoffed, “mommy… why people always stereotyping other?”</p><p>“Don’t blame her, you went there few days a go with your wife she said.”</p><p>Hanbin dwelled, “my<em> what</em>?”</p><p>Jiwon open the backseat door and put Miwa carefully on the baby car seat.</p><p>“I swear I never said Jennie was my wife!”</p><p>“Maybe Jennie who said that?”</p><p>“Oh my God… are you sure it wasn’t something made up by that cashier?”</p><p>Jiwon turned to Hanbin and sharply replied, “are <em>you</em> sure Jennie didn’t made up a story about you, her and your little family with Miwa in front of that cashier lady?”</p><p>“Jiwon come on! She was with me all the time!”</p><p>“She who?”</p><p>“Miwa! And Jennie too.”</p><p>“Are you sure? The cashier said Jennie told her that when she’s paying.”</p><p>Hanbin rolled his eyes, “Maybe the cashier told her that Miwa is cute and she said thanks and the rest was that cashier own narratives…” Hanbin groan. “I’m not having this argument, Ji… no…”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>October 22 is on Sunday, and Hanbin is going to play at Créma on Saturday night at 11pm – 1am, means that he’s gonna celebrate the midnight on the deck. That’s going to be awesome. Only if Jiwon could come. And today is Saturday where the Kims are going to their monthly groceries while Hanbin still looking for possible person to watch Miwa so Jiwon could go to the club with him.</p><p>“Lisa’s family is in Bangkok now, they’re visiting Ezra’s grannies.” Jiwon said, “I’m not gonna trust Miwa to Yun-Jisoo or Jinhwan.”</p><p>Hanbin pouting beside him.</p><p>“It’s okay…” Jiwon said, “just come back home as soon as possible,” he pull Hanbin to a kiss, “come home to me…”</p><p>“Will you stay awake and wait for me?”</p><p>Jiwon nodded. “of course… now ready for groceries? Look at your daughter, she’s ready.”</p><p>Hanbin chuckles to how Jiwon dresses Miwa, “okay I am fully aware that Miwa needs to be as warm as possible, but look at her! She looks like a ball of wool thread.”</p><p> </p><p>“Jiwon!”</p><p>Jiwon turned and saw his co-worker, Seulgi. “oh, nuna!”</p><p>“Hey, hello, Hanbin.” Seulgi greet him, “ohh cute Miwaa…”</p><p>“Seulgi nuna…” Hanbin bowed.</p><p>“Grabbing some groceries?” Seulgi asked pointing at their trolley.</p><p>Jiwon nodded, “are you with your family?”</p><p>“Yup, my husband need to buy something at the electronic section.” Seulgi smiles, “hey, you must be excited about the special course.”</p><p>Jiwon nodded, hoping Seulgi didn’t say anything further.</p><p>“Hanbin, you should be proud of him, not everyone got this opportunity.”</p><p>Hanbin smiling, “I am, nuna, I’m so proud of him… it’s a fantastic news for us!”</p><p>“Yup! And who doesn’t like the idea of moving to Jeju?” Seulgi continue, “I heard the resident’s house there is really nice, it’s on the sea side.”</p><p>“What?” Hanbin asked, and Jiwon feels cold slithering his spine, like someone slide down chunk of ice.</p><p>“A house, Hanbin," Seulgi continued, "not a cramp apartment, that’s why the candidates are allowed to bring the family with them.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“When will you’re planning to let me know??” the groceries is now just Hanbin throwing things on the trolley while confronting Jiwon.</p><p>“Soon, i—I need to figure out how to say it to you without…”</p><p>“Without what??”</p><p>“Without you freaking out like this.”</p><p>“Of course I freaked out, I knew the news from your co-workers! Not from you!”</p><p>“I’m sorry, okay?” Jiwon took his hands, “I’m sorry, I’m very sorry…”</p><p>Hanbin look away.</p><p>“Hey,” Jiwon caressing the younger’s hand, “can we talk about this in ‘hanbin way’?”</p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p>“Talking about problems with a clearer head.” Jiwon smiles, hoping to see Hanbin smile too after this.</p><p>But the younger shift his gaze somewhere else. “If you’e asking me to move to Jeju. I can’t”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon standing at the door frame of Miwa’s room, he’s looking at the younger tucking their baby to her crib.</p><p>“Let’s talk.” Jiwon said.</p><p>Hanbin closed Miwa’s room quietly and then following Jiwon to the guess room.</p><p>“Why won’t you come with me?”</p><p>“I just signed a contract with baby TV, Ji.”</p><p>“I know, but you’re not required to go to the office everyday. You can be in Jeju and going to Seoul for meeting, only one and a half hour flight, and might just once a month. We can deal with that. I’m sure we’re gonna solve that easily.”</p><p>“You want me to go back and forth everytime I have to go on a meeting and gig in Créma??” Hanbin asked, “you heard how selfish that sound??”</p><p>Jiwon paused, <em>oh shit, Créma</em>. “you don’t have to work as a DJ anymore, Bin…”</p><p>“What??” Hanbin raised his voice, “why the fuck I  can’t work as a DJ anymore?”</p><p>“Because…” Jiwon paused, “come one, you’re not thinking being a DJ as a longterm job, are you??”</p><p>“Why not??”</p><p>“Bin, just like idol or model, there will be regeneration for a DJ, they would like to see younger, fresher look DJs, and if you’re not—uh let’s say, you’re not Diplo, or DJ whatever who has a million dollar recording albums, you’ll be replaced. And what we’re going to focus now is your job in baby TV, your work as a composer… I can see the future better in there.”</p><p>“Future… huh…?” Hanbin scoffed. “are you really seeing a future with me when you’re actually mocking my job as a DJ?”</p><p>“I didn’t—when did I??”</p><p>“I’m sorry that my salary is half yours! I thought we’re gonna be in this together, but I never imagine that you’ll be the one asking me to give up my job not knowing if it’s actually just a job or a passion.”</p><p>Jiwon feels like he just got slapped by a huge disappointment from Hanbin.</p><p>He surely selfish.</p><p>He didn’t consider Hanbin’s job as a DJ, he’s thinking as if it’s a hobby, something light, something Hanbin could leave easily.</p><p>Now he knew he’s fucked.</p><p>“Bin…”</p><p>“Ji, I’m not gonna say hold you from the opportunity to be a Pharm.D. so, if you want to go to Jeju, then go,” he put his hand on the door handle, “but I’ll stay here.”</p><p>Hanbin left the room.</p><p>Left Jiwon groaning while pulling his hair.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>It's his birthday, and at 3 am, Jiwon still awake, he’s waiting for Hanbin to be home. The older open the door when he hard a doorbell rang, and found Hanbin carried by Junhoe and, well, Jennie.</p><p>Hanbin looked drunk and helpless. He was leaning to Junhoe with his eyes close.</p><p>“What happened?” Jiwon asked even though there’s an urge to yelled at Hanbin of how irresponsible he is, and another yell would be for Jennie to be there and being the main caused of his insecurities.</p><p>“We surprised him at midnight, we thought he’ll be just as usual, made a toast and drink deliberately, but… he finished a bottle of vodka by himself.” Junhoe said, “been a while to see him like this… sorry, Jiwon-ssi.”</p><p>Jiwon let Hanbin lean on him completely and with a help from Junhoe they put Hanbin in the bedroom.</p><p>“Can I use the restroom?” Junhoe asked.</p><p>“Sure.” Jiwon pointed at the restroom.</p><p>Jennie just standing there near the kitchen.</p><p>“You want, uh, water?” Jiwon asked.</p><p>“No, thanks…”</p><p>“How was the party?”</p><p>“He seems off.” Jennie replied, “you argued with him?”</p><p>“None of your business.” Jiwon replied.</p><p>Jennie seems alarmed with Jiwon coldness, “well, I—“</p><p>Jiwon heard the restroom door opened, he turned to Jennie, “Jennie-ssi.” He said politely.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“You’re not Hanbin’s wife, and you’re not Miwa’s mom. So don’t play like you’re part of my family.”</p><p>Jennie stunned, she didn’t say anything and following Junhoe when he bid himself goodbye.</p><p>Jiwon leaned on the bedroom door frame, he was between the connecting door, he’s looking at the sleeping Miwa and Hanbin who is still mumbling something on his drunken drowsiness.</p><p>“Bin…” he tried to wake him so he could get changed.</p><p>“Kimji?” the younger tried to open his eyes. “why you’re heree..??”</p><p>“You’re home…”</p><p>“Huh? Me… wheree..??” he's too intoxicated to open his eyes.</p><p>“You’re home…”</p><p>“I’m home… Kimji… I hate… you…!”</p><p>Jiwon paused, “let me help you changed your clothes…”</p><p>“I hate you…” he whines, “why you’re so mean to me…?” he mumbled.</p><p>“Bin, let’s talk tomorrow okay?”</p><p>Hanbin sat while Jiwon undress him, he put a fresh shirt on him and let him sleeping in his boxer. Then Hanbin looked down to his knees, Jiwon watch him wiping his eyes, “… it’s my birthday, Ji… why you do this to me…”</p><p>As if there’s a cold knife ripping his heart, Jiwon immediately kneeling in front of Hanbin, looking up to see the younger’s face, “Hanbin, baby…”</p><p>Hanbin let the older’s palm running on his cheek.</p><p>“I’m sorry…”</p><p>Hanbin crouched down to rest his forehead on Jiwon’s shoulder and Jiwon hugged him, very tight as if he’s afraid Hanbin might gone any second without his consent. Jiwon brought the younger’s face up to take a look at it, and wipes Hanbin’s tears.</p><p>“Kim Hanbin…”</p><p>Hanbin looking at him.</p><p>“Happy birthday…” he tilt his head and kissed the younger’s lips softly, “I love you…”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Mrs. Kim came to Seoul to celebrate Hanbin’s birthday and Jiwon prepared food and cake for them. They wanted to celebrate it at the rooftop but its freezing cold on late October, so they have small party in their house, all neighbours are invited also Won, Junhoe, and… Jennie.</p><p>Hanbin suffered hangover but he manage to enjoy the small gathering and smiling and joking with others. On the other side, Jiwon knew Hanbin been avoiding words with him, not sure why but Hanbin still looks annoyed by the arguments with Jiwon about Jeju.</p><p>Jiwon hold Miwa while helping Yun who insist will taking care about the catering. He took a small cake and offering it to Miwa. Jiwon laughs when Miwa ate the cake, and then he saw Jennie is looking at his direction.</p><p>He mentally rolled his eyes when Jennie walked towards his direction.</p><p>“Jiwon-ssi.”</p><p>Jiwon didn’t say anything.</p><p>“Are you not gonna apologize for impeaching me?” she asked.</p><p>“I’m sure you knew I’m not making it up.” Jiwon sharply replied.</p><p>“So you think you’d win against me?”</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jiwon amazed of how ignorant is this girl.</p><p>Jennie scoffed, “I can get Hanbin back. And we’ll see, who’s gonna be the part of the family.”</p><p>Jiwon cynically laughing, “I’m a family with Miwa by blood, so…”</p><p>“Sure~ but with me, Hanbin would have his own family, his own children… since I’m a woman. I can get pregnant.” She winks. Then she turned around and smiling widely when she saw mrs. Kim, “eommunim~ it’s Jennie…”</p><p>“Omo… Jennie… how are you?”</p><p>“I’m fine, I’m back to Seoul for good, how are you, eommunim?”</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon look across the room and saw Hanbin is staring at him, but then the younger look away when Jiwon caught his gaze. His heart aching. Even when they all singing happy birthday for Hanbin and Jiwon stay beside him with Miwa, and got to kiss Hanbin after the first cake. He still feel the younger’s coldness.</p><p> </p><p>One by one the guest are leaving, even mrs. Kim has to leave early to catch her train back to Busan. Miwa is also exhausted and sleeping soundly with Miwa song and dim light of her room. Hanbin is cleaning up the kitchen while Jiwon just back from throwing garbage downstairs.</p><p>“Do you have a problem with Jennie?” Hanbin asked while still busy wiping the kitchen island.</p><p>“Well it depends.”</p><p>“Depends on what?”</p><p>“I don’t have problem if only her intention is just to befriend you. But I do have problem with her if she thinks she could take you from me.”</p><p>"She'd take me away from you, huh?" Hanbin scoffed, "am i just a commodity? that you both could just take me away from someone? don't you think i have my own decision of whom i wanted to be with?" he's pinning his gaze sharply at the older. "of course not. you never had a faith on me."</p><p>"What the fuck you saying?"</p><p>Hanbin stopped wiping, “Jiwon, Jennie told me you threat her.”</p><p>“What??”</p><p>“You told her that she’s not my wife or Miwa’s mom. Is that true? Did you really said that to her?”</p><p>The older sighs before nodding, “but that was because—“</p><p>“Because of the cashier lady at the restaurant, right?? Kim Jiwon I told you that could be a misunderstanding!!” Hanbin raised his voice.</p><p>“But it wasn’t! And guess what she said to me just now at the party?” Jiwon asked, “she told me she could have you back, and with her you can have your own children because she’s a woman.” Jiwon had to hold into the small coffee table near the kitchen just so he wouldn’t shouts.</p><p>Hanbin close his eyes while frustratedly breathe out.</p><p>"See? you told me i don't have a faith on you, but you refuse any truth coming from my mouth! you're no different, Hanbin!"</p><p>"Because it's funny!" Hanbin shouts, "so what if she's a woman and she could get pregnant whatsoever??"</p><p>“isn’t that what you want? A normal family, a kid of your own?”</p><p>“Me?” Hanbin asked back, “<em>me??</em> When did I said that?! Oh my God!! Kim Jiwon you’re mixed up between me and the insecurities you felt about dr. Kim Jinwoo!!”</p><p>Jiwon paused, “n-no…”</p><p>“If you still have those trauma, is that my fault? Why would I be the one who have to deal with it?? Why you shot it all at me?? I’m <em>not</em> gonna leave you for some women but you never trust me!! You choose to believe on your own plots! And you’re being incredibly selfish lately, Jiwon.”</p><p>“I’m selfish? Really? Is it about Jeju?”</p><p>Hanbin only staring at the older.</p><p>“Hanbin, “ Jiwon went to the kitchen, trying to reach the younger’s arm but she snatch it, “let’s talk about Jeju and work later, okay? It’s your birthday, you deserves to—“</p><p>“You’ve ruined it, there’s no point of us being quiet about this now.” Hanbin throw the napkin away and fold his hands on his chest.</p><p>Jiwon grunts, “you’re the one who always told me that we have to talk with a cool head. What happened to that Hanbin now?”</p><p>“We’re postponing this topic, and we failed finding our serenity, so just talk now.”</p><p>“Okay.” Jiwon staring back, but he couldn’t find any words, “I’m sorry for hurting your feeling about your work and passion.” He finally said.</p><p>“And about jeju?”</p><p>“This is the career that was supported by Jian. she was working extra to pay for my study.” He talked in an assertive tone, “I’m sorry Hanbin, this is a lifetime opportunity, also the only chance for me to prove to Jian and my family, to make them proud of me!”</p><p>Hanbin looked down, his gaze falls on the floor. “then what about me?”</p><p>Jiwon couldn’t say anything. He doesn’t want Hanbin to look unprofessional because he has to suddenly move away right after signing a contract. Also his DJ career, Jiwon knew it’s important to Hanbin. He was jerk enough and humiliate Hanbin by demeaning his occupation as a DJ.</p><p>“We’ll never hear the end of this, Bin, you know that.” Jiwon murmured.</p><p>Hanbin tremulously inhaled, trying to push the urge to bawl there because of so many disappointment he felt towards Jiwon now. “then let’s settle things down. You do yours, I’ll do mine.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“You go to Jeju and get your dream. It’s unfair to bind you here when you could have a better and brighter career.” Hanbin said, “I hope you can feel the same about me.”</p><p>“You-you’re gonna stay here in Seoul?”</p><p>Hanbin looked away.</p><p>“What about Miwa?”</p><p>“She’ll obviously stay here.”</p><p><em>Now that’s unfair for me.</em> Jiwon wants to shout but he push it down his gut, he know it’s impossible for him to bring Miwa only to jumble with his time consuming study and work.</p><p> </p><p>They didn’t say anything anymore, not until they both finished cleaning up the house and Hanbin went to the bedroom.</p><p>Jiwon get into the bedroom just to gave him a box, a birthday gift and then leave to the guest room. The older said he’ll stay there so they can think.</p><p>Hanbin staring at the small box on the bed side table. He pull the deep violet ribbon and open the lid. Two theme park tickets. Hanbin took the card;</p><p>
  <em>Not a fancy gift, Kimhan, but I really want to have you for me just one day. So, let’s go on a date, just you and me. I love you. Kimji.</em>
</p><p>And the remaining hours of his birthday is him drowning his face between his arms and crying.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The course will start on January but Jiwon will move in early of November to prepare many things, moreover, there will be Christmas and new year holiday that shorten his preparation.</p><p>Jiwon stayed at the guest room since that night. And they didn’t go to the theme park because the next day after Hanbin’s birthday, when he went and say thank you for the gift to Jiwon, Jiwon told him that they don’t have to go.</p><p>It’s not the right time.</p><p>And the younger agreed.</p><p>They met their lawyer, Kyungsoo few days later. They told Kyungsoo about Jiwon’s plan, and since the document of adoption is on process, Jiwon is officially one of Miwa’s legal parents, and even though he’s not living with Miwa, he needs to fulfil some parental responsibilities.</p><p>“… Such as helping to raising and caring. Physical presentation is necessary but financial support is obligatory.” Kyungsoo said.</p><p>Jiwon nodded.</p><p>“I’m glad you both are mature enough to talk about these things. Well, I guess it’s good to come visit each other every now and then.”</p><p>Hanbin mentally scoffed. <em>Mature enough?</em></p><p>Kyungsoo helped them settle down the amount of financial support they have to spare for Miwa and also the agreement to let one party to see the baby whenever.</p><p>“I know it sounds like we’re discussing about letter of separation, but when couple decided to end their registered partnership, moreover with children in between, it is is important to keep the objectivity of your claims in the future.” Kyungsoo said. “so, because Miwa is living with Hanbin-ssi, let’s say Hanbin-ssi had a new partner in the future, Jiwon-ssi wouldn’t have any difficulties to see Miwa.” The lawyer smiles, “because it happens a lot to divorce couple, they tend to keep their children from their former partner per sooo many excuses.”</p><p>Jiwon clears his throat in discomfort.</p><p>“Well, I’ll see you guys in three days with the settlement letter.” Kyungsoo stood up, “have a nice day!”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>A nice day didn’t come to them.</p><p>Not when the settlement letter came. Not when Jiwon get the exact date when he has to move. Not when the house is now colder than the winter outside.</p><p>They still there, having breakfast, or lunch, or dinner together for Miwa. Doing groceries together for Miwa. Sitting at the living room during the monster cartoon time for Miwa.</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin get into the house at 2 am after his gig at Créma. He shrugged off his coat and hang it in the designed hook beside Jiwon’s. he took off his shoes and changed into the slippers and saw only one shoes of Jiwon on the shelf. He packed the rest.</p><p>Hanbin halts when the guest room opened. Jiwon stepped out in his sleepwear.</p><p>“Hey.” The older said.</p><p>Hanbin replied with a nod and went to the kitchen to drink.</p><p>“You want to eat something?” Jiwon asked, “I bought bulgogi for dinner, I can reheat it for you.”</p><p>Hanbin shook his head, “no, thanks…” he washed the glass he just used. “What time is your flight tomorrow?”</p><p>“At 9 pm, I’m going to the office for a small farewell.”</p><p>“oh…” Hanbin played with the napkin he use to dry the kitchen topper marble, “have you told the neighbours?”</p><p>“I did…” Jiwon chew his lower lips, “I went to see them one by one this afternoon when you went to your agency.”</p><p>“Okay… cool…”</p><p>This is painful for them, not able to read what’s in each other’s mind is hard. Moreover with Jiwon is moving tomorrow, Hanbin doesn’t making it easier for them.</p><p>“So… are you gonna be here on Christmas, or are you gonna be busy?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>Jiwon shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know, but I really wanna be here… to celebrate it with Miwa… and you.” Jiwon looking at the younger, “what about you? What is your plan?”</p><p>“Nothing fixed yet… probably here… or Busan, go to mom’s.”</p><p>“Ah right…” Jiwon nodded, “just let me know where you are so I can go there.”</p><p>“Sure, I’ll let you know where Miwa is going to celebrate her Christmas.”</p><p>Then there’s another cold silence.</p><p>“Ji…” Hanbin suddenly speaks.</p><p>Jiwon lift his head, looking at those eyes that got him speechless, eyes that hold so many emotions at once. The eyes Jiwon would like to drown into. But tonight those eyes are only showing one emotion, it was sadness.</p><p>“So are we… are we gonna,” the younger swallowed lump on his gut, “are we gonna break up now or later?”</p><p>
  <em>Why should we break up?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Can’t we just hold on a little longer?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Does this hassles have no answer?</em>
</p><p>Everything was motionless, even the face in front of him is freeze, waiting for him to speak. So he keep staring at those black orbs of Hanbin, trying to dare him with any guts he has left and say, “now.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Love don't bring me down<br/>You can turn me around<br/>Love don't lead me out<br/>And then leave me all alone</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love don't do me wrong<br/>I've been waiting too long<br/>Love don't set me up<br/>And then pull the rug away</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love can make me all better<br/>Love can make me all right<br/>Love can pull me together<br/>So just make me all better tonight </em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Mayer Hawthorne (All Better)</em>
</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t you fix it?” Junhoe asked, beer on his hand while Hanbin is holding a glass of soju.</p><p>He shook his head.</p><p>“Have you ever heard of long distance relationship?”</p><p>“I had.” He knew the younger being sarcastic as always.</p><p>“Ever consider trying it?” Junhoe asked again</p><p>“We could if we trust each other on the first place.”</p><p>“You don’t?”</p><p>“He doesn’t trust me.” Hanbin gulp his soju, “he keep accusing Jennie, he thought Jennie is back to court me again.”</p><p>“Tell him he’s wrong.”</p><p>“I did. Few times. And I’m not gonna do it again.”</p><p>Junhoe scoffed, “and?”</p><p>“And then our career.” Hanbin look away, “it’s okay, I’m done talking about how selfish he was about this occupation things.” He pour another glass for himself, “You remember I told you that Youngbae hyung offered me to be a jingle composer for TV M?”</p><p>Junhoe nodded, “means you gotta work full time.”</p><p>Hanbin inhaled, “you knew I turned it down, right?”</p><p>Junhoe nodded again, “which for me you’re a fool.”</p><p>“But what did I do that for?” Hanbin staring at Junhoe while the small shot glass between his fingers, “because I feel responsible for Miwa, I don’t want her to grow up without me—or Jiwon—because we’re too busy working. But now what? He still going to Jeju. Leaving Miwa.” Hanbin scoffed, “guess he doesn’t love her as much as I do…”</p><p>“Don’t say that, Bin, you don’t know how he feels.”</p><p>“Oh, you know?” he mocked.</p><p>Junhoe shook his head, “obviously I’ve no idea either, but you can’t judge him like that.”</p><p>Hanbin didn’t say anything, just sipping the soju little by little, let his mind wandering, “but we settled that out. So no worries!” he said with an artificial cheering voice.</p><p>Junhoe raised his eyebrows, “no worries…” he mocked. “So you and Jiwon really broke up?”</p><p>Hanbin nodded.</p><p>“After what? 7 months?”</p><p>He nodded again. “oof! I gotta stop drinking. I need to go home.”</p><p>“Dinner with daughter and ex husband?”</p><p>Hanbin stood up and smirks, “glad we’re not married.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>When Hanbin arrived at home, Jiwon is ready with his luggage. “are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to the airport?”</p><p>Jiwon shook his head, Miwa is in his arms, he keep on holding her and kiss her.</p><p>“Okay…”</p><p>They forget how they love silence before. Just doing their things without talking to each other. But now silence became scratchy and awkward.</p><p>“Bin, I—uh, I might video calling you everyday to see Miwa.”</p><p>“Sure, no problems.” Hanbin nodded.</p><p>“Okay, thanks.” Jiwon kissed Miwa again, “appa will miss you.”</p><p>“Apppaaaa…” Miwa smiles when Jiwon hug tight.</p><p>“Appa loves you, Kim Miwa.”</p><p>Hanbin pupils can’t keep still, he keep on looking anywhere just to distract himself from tearing.</p><p>Jiwon gave Miwa to Hanbin and smiles, “bye, Bin.”</p><p>“Bye…”</p><p>“See you on Christmas?”</p><p>The younger nodded. “good luck.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Love don't say goodbye<br/>Leave me wondering why<br/>Love don't come halfway<br/>And leave one foot out the door</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love please let me stay<br/>Don't you throw me away<br/>Love don't wring me out<br/>And then hang me up to dry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love can make me all better<br/>Love can make me all right<br/>Love can pull me together<br/>So just make me all better tonight…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Mayer Hawthorne (All Better)</em>
</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Jiwon</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“So are we… are we gonna,” the younger swallowed lump on his gut, “are we gonna break up now or later?”</p><p>“Now.”</p><p>Hanbin get into the bedroom after their talk. Left Jiwon at the living room, staring blankly on the wall. Are they really broken? What was it all mean? The ups and down during the seven months of their relationship, has it loses its meaning now? It’s true he was the one deciding they have to break up now. Because there’s only agony left in him, he couldn’t stand anything anymore. He just want Hanbin to understand him, even though Jiwon loses the reason why. But…</p><p>Why his heart aching…</p><p>Why his eyes warm…</p><p>Why his shoulders trembling…</p><p>Why is he crying?</p><p>Jiwon wants to get into the younger’s room, he wants to confront him.</p><p>Why can't he just leave to Jeju with him, why can’t Hanbin grant his wish just once! He only want Hanbin to move with him. But then the younger’s word keep twirling in his head.</p><p>
  <em>Selfish.</em>
</p><p>Yes, Jiwon is selfish for only considering his career, he wasn’t even discuss it with Hanbin, he remembered Hanbin would call him for every little detail about his works. How Hanbin will sent him photos of his gig venue, the party goers that dancing in front of his booth, how the younger ran to him when he met the director of baby TV, how he was the first person Hanbin called when he offered the contract. And still so many other examples of how Hanbin never failed to make him feel important.</p><p>And Jiwon called his job is less important than his.</p><p>Now he lose him.</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Hanbin</strong>
</p><p>“Bye, Bin.”</p><p>“Bye…”</p><p>“See you on Christmas?”</p><p>The younger nodded. “good luck.”</p><p>The door closes. Hanbin could hear the faint sound of the elevator dinging. He inhaled deeply before looking at Miwa.</p><p>“Hungry?”</p><p>Miwa nodded.</p><p>“Let see what we got…”</p><p>“Appaa…”</p><p>“Hmm?” Hanbin asked while trying to push the ache inside his ribcage.</p><p>“Daddyyy…” sh epointed at the TV.</p><p>“Oh the cartoon.” Hanbin put Miwa on the carpet and turn the TV on. “wait for me here, okay?”</p><p>“Yessh…”</p><p>“Good girl… miss Miwa is a good girl…” Hanbin singing while going to the kitchen. “Oof Miwa, it’s gonna be just the two of us from now…” Hanbin took the banana bread Jisoo made. “you’re gonna see appa on Christmas… and then, I don’t know…” he keep on talking, “don’t miss him too much, okay? Don’t call his name too much…” his voice trembling but he keep it on high pitch, “but don’t worry… he’ll call everyday, he said…” Hanbin bring the banana bread and milk for Miwa, “…at least we’re gonna see him everyday…”</p><p>Miwa pointing at the TV.</p><p>“Yes… it’s the monster family.”</p><p>“Appa…”</p><p>“Yeah, okay, don’t call him too often, okay? From now just call daddy… because daddy’s here.”</p><p>“Banyanya…”</p><p>“You like this?” Hanbin asked, “of course you like this… you only like banana…” Hanbin help her eating, “hey…”</p><p>Miwa turned to Hanbin but then she’s busy with her food and TV again.</p><p>“Promise me you will always be here to keep me company okay??” Hanbin poke Miwa’s cheek, “don’t leave me… and worse, don’t break up with me…”</p><p>Hanbin couldn’t hold it anymore, his breathe hitching and getting shorter, he’s sobbing.</p><p>Miwa turned to him and tilt her head, “daddy…”</p><p>“Hug daddy, Miwa…”</p><p>Miwa offered him the bread, “daddyyy… want?”</p><p>And Hanbin swoop her inside his embrace, “I’m fine…” he wiped his tears and smile, “I’m fine…”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>So just make me all better tonight…</em>
</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i promise you better chapter next... don't hate me so much lmao</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. winter falls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>when he's still the one he wants to share anything</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Jiwon walking on the small path towards his house, it was a gloomy afternoon of late November. Trees color has changed from green to golden, or to red, the carpet of grass turned into the carpet of falling leafs.</p><p>Cold breeze hitting his face, he hugs himself while running towards the door. He wears a thin coat today and he regretted it. But at least he’s home right now. Jiwon groans while shrugged off the cold out of his body in the dark. He hung the coat on the coat stand and took off his shoes.</p><p>Jiwon paused, then he scoot his shoes neatly.</p><p>Not a new habit, just feels like doing it even though it actually hurt him inside but it made his chest warm at the same time.</p><p>Then Jiwon sat in the couch, small couch near the window, he couldn’t wait to do his favorite things. Opening a message from Hanbin. His cellphone been buzzing on his way home, but he waits in purpose. He and Hanbin do sending message to each other. Not exactly like the one they did before but just the short one with Miwa’s picture in it. And every awaiting messages from Hanbin made him feels like a kid opening his christmas gift.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Hanbin</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>[picture] Miwa in a new shoes you bought her.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It’s the picture of Miwa sitting on the trolley. She was smiling wide while eyeing at someone behind the camera, must be Hanbin, he must be doing the funny face to get Miwa smiling. Jiwon’s lips stretched into a smile too when he’s looking at the picture, seems like they were at the groceries store in their area. Jiwon is familiar with the shelfs.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Hanbin</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>[picture] we lost the right shoes.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Now the younger sent him the picture of Miwa’s bare foot. Jiwon is slightly pouting because he really likes the shoes. It’s a simple pink vans slip-ons. He scrolled down again and found another picture attached.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Hanbin</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>[picture] found it!!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon is grinning while typing for reply.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jiwon</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Where did you find it?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It took about 15 minutes for Hanbin to reply his message but Jiwon didn’t do anything else, he was just leaning on the couch and keep scrolling the pictures of Miwa that Hanbin sent.</p><p>The older keep on pinching the picture, trying to zoom in the picture, low key hoping there’s hint of Hanbin on the picture. He knew he’s being silly. Hanbin is the one who took the picture. That’s a little impossible for him to be included.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Hanbin</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Inside the trolley. thank God.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon smiles. He really wants to push the calling button but he hold himself together. Instead, he send the younger another text.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jiwon</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I just got home.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>And he didn’t get replies for another 20 minutes. Jiwon feel stupid. After he left Seoul four weeks a go, they never once talking about what happened between them. Their final conversation about break up was also their final conversation about relationship. Now they’re just Miwa’s parents, not anymore lovers, so Jiwon grunts at his last text that might sounds like he thinks Hanbin cared about his whereabouts.</p><p>“Arghh… why can’t you just stick to talking about Miwa??” nor Jiwon and Hanbin set any rules about their text, but there was a clear unwritten rules that they’re texting or calling each other for Miwa only.</p><p>The younger will sent Jiwon pictures of the baby everyday, Jiwon will video calling Hanbin everyday (or almost everyday) to see Miwa and talk to her. Sometimes they will talk to each other about Miwa’s growing progress. Not even once Hanbin asked him about his life in Jeju. And not even once Jiwon asked the younger about his work in TV M or his gigs. Jiwon doesn’t even know how Hanbin manage to leave Miwa when he has a gig at Créma.</p><p>Yes, they are that distant.</p><p>Jiwon is about to unsent the message when suddenly his cellphone rang.</p><p>A video call from Hanbin.</p><p>He jolted from the couch and immediately swipe the screen to connect the phonecall.</p><p>Jiwon waited for a few second before he saw the chubby cheek little lady is appear on screen.</p><p>“Miss Miwa?”</p><p>Miwa is immediately turned to the screen when he heard Jiwon’s voice, “appa…” she smiles. Hanbin use the front camera, he holds the cellphone for Miwa, but he’s not in the screen, he just let Miwa and Jiwon seeing each other and he stays behind the cellphone.</p><p>“Hey Miwa… what are you doing?”</p><p>She’s chewing the rubber spatulla.</p><p>“She has another tooth coming.” Jiwon heard Hanbin’s voice.</p><p>“Really? Let me see!”</p><p>Jiwon heard Hanbin mumbled, he said something to Miwa but the baby squeaking when Hanbin took her spatulla.</p><p>“Kim Miwaaa… appa wants to see your new tooth…”</p><p>“rawffhh! Awnyabhalhbalsnyanya!” Miwa talked in her own language.</p><p>“I know, I’m sorry, I’ll give it back to you if you cooperate.”</p><p>“Daddyyh!!”</p><p>“Why? You mad at me?” Hanbin exaggerating his voice and make Miwa pout more.</p><p>Jiwon smiles when he heard Hanbin’s laugh. It’s been a long time.</p><p>“Hey,” Jiwon said, “are you developing a new skill?”</p><p>“Who?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“You, you now speak baby language?”</p><p>Hanbin laughing again, “I know most of her babbles.”</p><p>Jiwon saw Hanbin’s hand holding Miwa’s chin, his thumb and index finger squeezing her cheek, made her mouth open and Hanbin show Jiwon the new tooth.</p><p>“See that?”</p><p>Jiwon didn’t see it but he hums, “yeah…”</p><p>“Made her chewing things and drooling like crazy.”</p><p>Jiwon hums again. “how’s her eating habit?”</p><p>“Still the same. But she’s eating veggies now.”</p><p>“Really? What veggies.”</p><p>“Actually it’s a butternut pumpkin, not greens, she still refusing greens. OMO!!” The cellphone fell because Miwa snatched it, it landed on the carpet with the so Jiwon could see the camera showing a bit of Hanbin, “miss Miwa!”</p><p>he felt a little disappointed when Hanbin took the cellphone and back to filming Miwa.</p><p>“Miwa…” Jiwon called her. Miwa turned to the screen and grinning, “I miss you, Miwa…”</p><p>“Waaa… apppaapa…”</p><p>Hanbin seems to propped the cellphone to something facing Miwa, “stay here, Miw, I’ll be back.”</p><p>“Where you going?” Jiwon asked.</p><p>“Taking my dinner, I haven’t eat.”</p><p>Jiwon feels his stomach grumbling too, but he don’t want to end the phone call yet, “right I need food too.” He went to the kitchen and took a cup ramen and pour the hot water into it. Jiwon doesn’t ask what’s the younger have for dinner, just like Hanbin doesn’t react when Jiwon eat cup ramen.</p><p>He’s eating with cellphone in front of him, showing Miwa who also busy with her own things, sometimes Miwa will turned her head to her left, and pointing something on the TV, and Jiwon will hear Hanbin replying to Miwa’s blabbing with a full sentence as if they’re understand each other, and it warms Jiwon’s heart. Even when the phone call is about to ended (usually after one hour or more, depends on the battery life), Hanbin will let Jiwon sat goodbye to Miwa only and then disconnect the phone call without showing his face even just a bit. They’ve been too casual. Jiwon thinks Hanbin is too casual. Jiwon thinks Hanbin is probably moved on.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Junhoe!” someone called him when he’s about to enter a coffeeshop.</p><p>Junhoe turned and saw Hanbin, he did agree to meet the older in a coffeeshop near TV M building. “hey, I thought you’re with Miwa?” he asked when he saw Hanbin is alone with a small pouch in his hand, not Miwa.</p><p>“Oh she’s inside with Jennie.”</p><p>“Aren’t you too often hang out with her?”</p><p>Hanbin smiles, “I know, but she made it clear that we’re friends, she even wants to befriend Jiwon before, but Jiwon seems to refuse her presence…”</p><p>“He’s jealous, and that’s normal, I guess?” Junhoe shrugged her shoulder.</p><p>“He’s blindly jealous, and that’s <em>not</em> normal… he threat Jennie and keep making up stories about her wanting to court me again.” Hanbin open the glass door for them.</p><p>“I heard that, but maybe he wasn’t making it up?” Junhoe following Hanbin walking to a corner where he saw Jennie is playing with Miwa. Hanbin didn’t reply but instead he stunned on his place. Junhoe stops behind him and realised the situation.</p><p>Jennie is talking to Miwa at the corner of the coffeeshop and doesn’t seems to realised Hanbin’s and Junhoe’s presence.</p><p>“Mommy…” Jennie said, “call me mommy… okay Miwa?”</p><p>Junhoe turned to Hanbin and saw his jaw falls open.</p><p>“Jennie…” Hanbin called her.</p><p>Jennie startled and quickly turned around, Junhoe could see her ear got red from embarrassment.</p><p>Hanbin take Miwa from her, he shook his head, he really don’t know what to say, the emotion juggling in his chest. He feels repulsion growing in his stomach, he feel stupid for the betrayal Jennie done to him again. He’s been spending time believing that Jennie has changed, and worse he choose stood for her in front of Jiwon.</p><p>“Hanbin I’m sorry, I was just joking.”</p><p>“Then it’s not funny at all, Jen.” Hanbin murmured, “Miwa is not your daughter to call you mommy in the first place. She’s me and Jiwon’s daughter!” he took Miwa’s bag and turned to Junhoe to give him the pouch, “you’re going to Jeju this Friday for a gig, right? Give this to Jiwon, it’s his laptop charger.” The he left the coffeeshop.</p><p>“You’re too much.” Junhoe sit across her. “Aren’t you ashamed?”</p><p>“None of your business.” she look away but there’s a clear guilt on her face.</p><p>Junhoe scoffed, “you’re evil, Jennie… you might already know that but someone should say it out loud.”</p><p>“Just leave.” Jennie fold her hand together.</p><p>“Why should I? I just came and I was hoping to enjoy coffee in this bright afternoon with my bestfriend if you’re not ruining it by your shameless behavior.” Junhoe took Hanbin’s drink which the older hasn’t touch.</p><p>Jennie took her purse, about to leave when Junhoe snatched her wrist. “Why don’t you sit and we talked?”</p><p>“I have nothing to talk about with you.”</p><p>“I just wanna know why you’re obsessed with Hanbin?”</p><p> </p><p>_</p><p> </p><p>It’s Sunday, Jiwon entered a supermarket to buy some supplies before heading to a restaurant where he’s going to have his dinner. Jiwon took a box of peeled and cut mixed fruits, pack of eggs and cereal, he automatically reading the components and took the one with the lowest sugar. Then he went to the chiller to take milk but he stops in front of the tofu sections.</p><p>“Miwa…” he murmured, “my steamed tofu junkie…” he smiles, even tho his heart aching from the longing to see that cotton ball. He could only replaying videos Hanbin sent him, or keep looking at the pictures of his baby without able to hug her, to absorb the smell of fresh cotton mixed with her baby lotions and oils.</p><p>“Wait until Christmas, Jiwon.” He’s been working extra hard, stayed late at the hospital just to prepare documents for his course, keep making sure that he could go to Seoul on Christmas because he needs to see Miwa. Yes, Miwa.</p><p>Jiwon ignore the tiny voice in the corner of his head telling him that he misses other person who always with Miwa.</p><p>
  <em>No, Jiwon, you don’t miss anyone beside his Miwa.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin lied beside Miwa on his bed, Miwa is sleepy but still refuse to close her eyes, instead he's busy chewing her own thumb, Hanbin is strongly disagree with this behavior but too busy typing and deleting a message.</p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry…</em>
</p><p>He deleted it, “sorry for what? Do you think he’ll understand if I only said sorry?” he murmured, Miwa lift her head to see her dad talking to no one.</p><p>
  <em>I knew you weren’t lie about Jennie, I was stupid to not believe in you.</em>
</p><p>Hanbin deleting it again, “but I didn’t know! I mean I was not wrong to think that—“ Hanbin paused, “okay, I was wrong.” Jiwon always been someone vocalized more about his feelings than Hanbin and that one of thing that makes the younger fall for him. when Jiwon asked him what are they, when he initiate their first kiss. Shivers erupting his skin for recalling their intimate moment.</p><p>
  <em>Jiwon</em>
</p><p>He pressed delete, “I lose my ability to communicate, Miw,” he rolled to see Miwa, “daddy lose the ability to communicate.”</p><p>“Daa…” she showed Hanbin her few teeth.</p><p>“Miwa…” Hanbin caresses her hair, “who is this?” he pointed at himself.</p><p>“Daddyyw…”</p><p>Hanbin pressed Jiwon’s whatsApp profile picture which had Jiwon and Miwa smiling to the camera, “Who is this?”</p><p>“Miwaaa…”</p><p>“And?”</p><p>“Miwaaaaa…”</p><p>“Okay, this is Miwa,” Hanbin pointed at Jiwon, “and who is this?”</p><p>“Appa…”</p><p>“Great.” Hanbin put down his cellphone, “Miwa is the baby of daddy and appa, okay?”</p><p>“Baby okaaayw…” Miwa giggling.</p><p>“Miwa is the daughter of daddy and appa. No one else is going to be your parents… no one… let’s hope your appa won’t date anyone because I will hate that…” Hanbin pouting, “daddy will not like that…”</p><p>Miwa still busy chewing her thumb.</p><p>“I love you, Miwa.”</p><p>“Wove vyou Miwa…” she copied.</p><p>He admit that he was shocked to hear Jennie trying to manipulate Miwa to call her mommy, and he wasn’t only only, he was damn mad about it. He keep on holding Miwa and telling her sorry on his way home, he was about to cry from guilt and disgust.</p><p>Hanbin startled when this cellphone buzzing. Unknown number.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Mr. Kim Hanbin, we’re from SK leasing company, we would like to inform you about the rent in Itaewon for your shop.”</p><p>“My shop in Itaewon?” Hanbin paused, “oh 5gam! Right… how can I help?”</p><p>“The rent will be ended in three months. We wanted to asked if you already prepare any decision regarding to it?”</p><p>Hanbin totally forgot about 5gam, the perfumery shop his father gave to him and Haneul, “can you give me a few days? Then I will contact you and we’ll arrange a meeting.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon waved his hand to someone who just entered the restaurant. The guy sitting in front of him while ordering another portion of nakji bokkeum or spicy stir fried octopus.</p><p>“Nothing beats the spicy food in the winter day like this.” He smiles.</p><p>Jiwon smiles back, “how’s the gig, Junhoe?”</p><p>“It was great, a lot of people coming.” Junhoe slide the pouch filled with his laptop charger.</p><p>“Oh, Hanbin told you to bring this?”</p><p>Junhoe nodded then pour himself a drink. “how are you?”</p><p>Jiwon shrugs his shoulders, “missing Miwa like I’m actually going crazy.” He mouthing thank you when Junhoe pour him a drink, he gulp the clear liquid that burn his gut, “I never knew I could miss someone this much.” He groans.</p><p>“What about Hanbin? You miss him?”</p><p>Jiwon chuckles, “I don’t know…” he lift his head, “you heard the story huh?”</p><p>“he went to the agency, telling me he couldn’t take any gig for a moment because he doesn’t have anyone watching Miwa.. and he spent the next 3 hours getting really mad at you.”</p><p>Jiwon didn’t say anything. He’s gonna accept whatever Hanbin pointed at him.</p><p>“You are one selfish jerk.”</p><p>“I know about that…” he murmured, “I’m a fucking jerk.” His mind flew before he’s looking at Junhoe again, “you said he’s didn’t take any gig?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“What about his work in baby TV?”</p><p>“Going well I guess… but his life had always be in a gig… there’s some unexplainable feelings when you’re up the on the deck, mixing songs and looking at the human wave in front of you.”</p><p>Now that is shit. Jiwon never thought about it. “Then he has all the right to hate me, Jun.” Jiwon smiles.</p><p>“Hey,” Junhoe took spoon and chopsticks when the meal came, “he’ll probably have his first gig after you left next week.”</p><p>Jiwon lift his head from the pan in front of him, “what about Miwa??”</p><p>Junhoe staring at him, then shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>Jiwon's mind instantly assumes that Jennie will watch Miwa for Hanbin. maybe they're already dating now.</p><p>Junhoe hold Jiwon’s glass when he’s about to gulp another shot of soju, “you shouldn’t be so drunk because I want to tell you a story.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>It’s December, end of the second week of December and winter is arriving soon. Hanbin opened a box of package he got from Jeju. It is some winter clothings for Miwa. Jiwon told him few days a go that he went shopping and he wants to buy something for Miwa. Hanbin suggested him to buy coat or warm clothes for their daughter.</p><p>He sighs, he’s been trying really hard to keep his cool, answering Jiwon’s question regarding to Miwa only. Jiwon never asked him about his life, so he decided maybe it’s the older’s way to set the rule between them. By not caring about each other’s personal life anymore, that their life is only connected because there’s Miwa in between.</p><p>Hanbin look up to his coat hanger, he only have one padding coat for winter. And few jackets. Maybe he needs another sweaters and thermal clothes. He opened another box. Jiwon surely bought a lot for Miwa.</p><p>But then the younger’s eyebrows furrowing to see a brand. Greggory. Winter gear brand for adult.</p><p>He pulled the puffy clothes and found a gorgeous padding coat, “whoaa… nice.” Hanbin took his cellphone thinking that Jiwon must be shopped online and forget to change his address.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Hanbin</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>[picture] Jiwon, they’re sent you coat to Seoul, want me to sent it to Jeju?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It took less than 5 minutes before Jiwon replying</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jiwon</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s yours.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin paused Jiwon bought him a coat? Why? He shouldn’t. Hanbin could buy it for himself. He got the money if it only for coat. Beside, does Jiwon know what he likes? Jiwon shouldn’t just buy something for him without his consent—</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jiwon</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I saw it after buying the coat for Miwa, and the color seems pretty similar. I think you and her will look cute in couple color.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>Oh. That’s why</em>. Hanbin lay the coat beside the one Jiwon bought for Miwa, and the color is exactly the same. Chestnut brown color.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jiwon</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I hope you’d like it, I really shouldn’t buy it without talking to you first. But I saw one of your padding coat has similar cut with this one.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Hanbin</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re right. It’s similar with my old coat. I like it. Thank you, Jiwon.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jiwon</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>No probs, Bin…</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon put down his cellphone after erasing the last message he wrote but have not enough courage to send them. He wants the younger to take picture when he and Miwa wear the coats and send it to him. That’s his wish.</p><p>He release a deep sigh. Looking blankly at the ceiling.</p><p>The house in Jeju is not big, one floor house with two bedroom. The apartment in Seoul is slightly bigger, but here, he got a big yard, he could imagine how happy Miwa if she lives in this house. But again all the ego they had ruined everything, and even tho they’ve been silent and got much time to think by themselves during this two months, Jiwon still hasn’t got answer beside thinking that this is the best for them.</p><p>No one could easily give up what they have now.</p><p>But Jiwon has to gave up Miwa.</p><p>And Hanbin gave up their love.</p><p> </p><p>His mind flew to the conversation he had with Junhoe, a story about Jennie. He should be irritating by her but Jiwon saw Jennie in him, someone who conceit and selfishly thinking about himself. Junhoe also told him about about how sharp was Hanbin’s words when he told Jennie that Miwa’s not her daughter but his and Jiwon’s, it made everything clearer. That Hanbin is not what he thought he was. Hanbin never consider Jennie to be anything more than friends. And jiwon fail him.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve sent an email to you hyung.” Hanbin talked to Youngbae on the phone while opening his unit’s door, Miwa is on his other arm, “would you review it for me? I’m nervous because it’s the first time I’m gonna make a jingle for commercials.” He chuckles. “alright, thank you, hyung.”</p><p>Hanbin put Miwa on the carpeted floor then he’s back to the shoe shelf to tidy up his shoes and hang his coat. They’re just back from meeting Jisoo and Haru in Yun’s noodle shop, and Yunhyeong brought him a delicious braised beef brisket noodle soup home.</p><p>“Kim Miwa let’s eat the noodle soup, hm?”</p><p>“No.” Miwa replied while eating her socks.</p><p>“oh, no, no, no.” Hanbin took the socks away, then with hands on the hip Hanbin act like his gonna scold Miwa, “we agreed not to eat anything beside teether and—well rubber spatulla, remember?”</p><p>Miwa looked up with her big eyes, “no?”</p><p>Hanbin shook his head, “no.”</p><p>Miwa adorably tilt her head.</p><p>“Uh-uh, don’t try to manipulate me with that charm, young lady…”</p><p>Miwa crinkles her nose.</p><p>“Anyway, I made you a veeery delicious porridge that I’m gonna pour the soup from the braised beef… humm… delicious!”</p><p>Miwa looking at him.</p><p>“How you said it? Humm… deliciouss…” he said, asking Miwa to repeat after him but Miwa is giggling. “say it, Miwa-ssi…”</p><p>“Dezizioows…”</p><p>“Smartie.” Hanbin smiles.</p><p>He’s back to the kitchen to prepare their dinner. First he poured some soup, only the soup for Miwa, then he put the rest to the microwave, reheat it for himself. Hanbin watching Miwa playing with her winnie plushie while talking in her own language, sometimes crawling here and there. Miwa is one and a half years old, but she hasn’t walk yet. It worries Hanbin but dr. Im said it’s still normal, don’t compare your kid with others, she said.</p><p>
  <em>Ding.</em>
</p><p>The microwave stops and Hanbin took the bowl and walking towards Miwa with two bowl in hand, one is his noodle, and the other is Miwa’s porridge.</p><p>“Miss Miwa…” he called Miwa who already crawling to somewhere near her bedroom door.</p><p>Hanbin put down both bowl.</p><p>“Kim Miwa, come here.”</p><p>Miwa turned to him.</p><p>“Wanna eat dinner while watching your favorite boring monster family?”</p><p>“Appaaa daddyyhh!”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, that one.” Hanbin is getting used to Miwa calling the cartoon is appa daddy cartoon. He turned the TV but the cartoon hasn’t start yet, and yet there’s a short segment where they use Hanbin’s composed song.</p><p>“Miwa, Miwa, come here, it’s daddy’s song.”</p><p>“Daddyh song?”</p><p>“Uh huh…” Hanbin waving his hand asking Miwa to come, “Miwa come—“ Hanbin turned to Miwa and he’s stunned to see Miwa is wiggling standing with her two chubby feet, “…Miw…a?”</p><p>The baby giggling while raised up her hands and with a stubborn move she’s started to take one… two steps.</p><p>Hanbin gasped, <em>Miwa is walking!</em></p><p>
  <em>It’s Miwa’s first walk!</em>
</p><p>“Oh My God! Miwa is walking—Ji—“ he choked on his own words.</p><p>Jiwon is not here.</p><p>Suddenly his chest full of confusing feelings, mixed up, juggling inside his ribcage.</p><p>
  <em>Blop.</em>
</p><p>Miwa falls butt first and she giggled.</p><p>“Miwa…” Hanbin went to her, giving her hand to get up again.</p><p>“Dadddyyyh…”</p><p>“My baby is walking…” he chuckles, “my baby…” he murmured. His brain is chaotic, and unknowingly, automatically, his hand swoop the cellphone on the floor and press the one who always in his number 5 speed dial.</p><p>Jiwon.</p><p>Because he’s Miwa’s appa.</p><p>Because he deserves to know.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Why number 5?” Jiwon asked one day.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Because it’s the most center, the thumb could reach it from any angle of phone… just in case I need to call you in emergency situation.” The younger explained.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You never fail to amaze me how methodical you are.” Jiwon smiles.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Hello??” Jiwon answer with a worried tone because Hanbin never voice calling him, they only do video call for Miwa.</p><p>“Ji…”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Miwa… just walk.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>still i want to hear what you think, so talk to me! xo abbi</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Earl grey and cucumber</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>his birthday and first snow</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>“One iced americano, one iced latte, one hot green tea frappe.” Lisa order drinks for her, Jinan, and Jisoo in a coffeeshop that is not very far from their apartment. “ah… it’s so cold outside and yet you two still drink ice.” Lisa gave the buzzer to Jinan, signalling him to take the drink when it’s ready.</p><p>Jisoo is busy feeding Haru while Ezra is sleeping inside his stroller. “where’s Hanbin? Should we go to his place?”</p><p>“we should call him first.” Lisa said, “maybe he’s in Jeju now, because I haven’t seen him for days.”</p><p>“In Jeju? Really? Because after the fake marriage they told us, I met their observer again and he said that they’re making letter of separation. So I don’t know if they’re really dating of it’s just another phony act.” Jinan rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Wait, all I can hear is you met mr. Jung again?” Lisa raised his eyebrows, “why?”</p><p>“Yeah, why?” Jisoo squint her eyes.</p><p>“No, well, i—“ he was saved by the buzzer, “oh, ladies! Our drinks ready!”</p><p>“That guy should learn how to settle down.” Jisoo shook her head.</p><p>“Let’s go!” Jinan grinning widely while bring three cups with him. “have you called Hanbin?” Jinan asked Jisoo and Lisa.</p><p>“Not yet.” Lisa replied.”</p><p>“Let’s just knock on his door.”</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin opened the door and saw his neighbours, “oh hey…”</p><p>“We should’ve buy him coffee…” Jisoo murmured looking at the mess behind Hanbin.</p><p>“I know, we’re so rude.” Lisa continued.</p><p>Hanbin smiling wide, “hey it’s okay! I just had coffee.” He continued, “come in! and pardon the topsy-turvy. But the good news is Miwa is walking!”</p><p>“Whoa…” Lisa claps her hand, “welcome to the never tidy house!”</p><p>“When will that stop?” Jisoo asked.</p><p>“The untidy house?” Lisa asked back and Jisoo nodded, “never.”</p><p>Ezra is awake and got excited to play with Miwa and Haru while four adults sitting in the living room.</p><p>“So…” Lisa inhaled, “where have you been?! It’s almost a month after Jiwon move and I barely see you around. Are you going back and forth to Jeju?”</p><p>Hanbin almost choked on his drink. Of course, his neighbours didn’t know. He just sitting there looking back the three others that staring at him.</p><p>“I knew it!” Jinan said.</p><p>“W-what?” Hanbin slightly panicking</p><p>“After faking the marriage, you and Jiwon is actually not in relationship, are you?”</p><p>Hanbin paused, looking around, he should’ve say yes to make things easier. But he smiles, these neighbours had been making his life easier, it’s time to consider them as his close friend.</p><p>“Me and Jiwon were in relationship… we dated.” He said, “but we decided to end it just before he moved.”</p><p>“But whyyy??” Lisa pouts, “you and Jiwon look good together!”</p><p>Hanbin chuckled and he heard the door knocking, assuming it probably Yun, or Donghyuk, he opened it and startled to see Jennie.</p><p>“Binnie, can we talk?”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Near the end of the third week of December, first snow hasn’t come but the weather is now colder than the fridge. Jiwon stepped out the shower, whistling a happy song, he’s in a good mood today.</p><p>He’s looking at the clock still got time before calling the cab, then he swoops his cellphone to rewatch Miwa’s video again. He already replaying the short video of Miwa stumblingly walking around for the million times now. He loves looking at how Miwa is so happy that she’s experiencing walking for the first time, and also Hanbin’s voice at the back telling her to be careful. The videos feels like home for him.</p><p>Jiwon wears his shirt with a contented smile, then he sprayed his favorite perfume after. Jo Malone, earl grey and cucumber. The smell is actually a little too soft for Jiwon’s character. Like it’s name, the perfume opens with bergamot which is the main component of earl grey, hint of apple, jasmine and the aquatic note gets this perfume it’s masculinity, even tho it consist of vanilla on the base note but it doesn’t make it feminine. Just soft and fresh. Like the end of summer. And it’s what makes Jiwon likes the perfume.</p><p>He sprayed it once again and put it down on his table and ready to call a cab before he suddenly stops and turn back to his perfume bottle.</p><p>He read it again.</p><p>Earl grey and cucumber.</p><p>“Shit…” he murmured.</p><p>His mind back on the summer where he came to Créma for the first time with Hanbin. Just few weeks after they were stumbling into the fake marriage for the sake of Miwa. First time he saw Hanbin as the great DJ B.I on deck.</p><p>That night Créma introduce new cocktail which was made by Vince, the bartender and B.I. Summer sunset is the name, inspired by summer, he said. Consist of vodka, hibiscus, earl grey, and cucumber.</p><p>Earl grey and cucumber.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jiwon</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Did they still sell summer sunset in Créma?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin paused after receiving text from Jiwon. How did he remembered the cocktail name that he only drank it once.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Hanbin</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Yes, why?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jiwon</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Just tell me the truth, was it inspired by my perfume?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin looking at his cellphone. He typed ‘no’.</p><p>“Why did you lie, Hanbin?” he talked to himself but all the pride prefer him to possibly hurt Jiwon. “heck, I made that drink with Vince when I realised I might in love with Jiwon, so what if I was inspired by him?? I was in love. That’s normal.” He blabbing while sending a reply towards the older.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Hanbin</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>No, not inspired by your perfume. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Hanbin</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>It was inspired by you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon couldn’t stop thinking about the replied all day, the way one simple text got his heart skip one beat. Now he realised he was never pay attention of what the younger use for perfume. Or had he ever use one?</p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile Hanbin pouting that Jiwon didn’t reply the last text. <em>Am I too much?</em> But he was just being honest, he did got inspired by Jiwon. Hanbin huffed, he’s now stood in front of a closed shop. Earlier, he got a phone call from a leasing company telling him that a year contract of the perfumery shop Haneul owned is about to expired, and they need Hanbin to go there, either to extend the rent period or closing down the place.</p><p>“It is so weird that Jiwon texted me about perfume when I’m visiting this place…” he murmured while opened the glass door, and beside the sticky dust, the smell is nothing like an old space that hasn’t been open for almost a year. The shop aromas really good. like a bottled up nature. There’s a hint of woody scent slips into Hanbin’s olfactory. He looked around remembered that he used to hate this place because it reminds him of responsibilities. Of how Haneul always told him that one day he also have to take care of this shop because it’s their father’s legacy.</p><p>Now he wished Haneul is here with him to run this shop. Because what he comprehended about perfumery? Zero.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin stepped into the galbitang restaurant not far from where he was to meet mrs. Kim and Miwa. Mrs. Kim is in Seoul since yesterday because she went to see her doctor. She got this appointment with her doctor every 1-2 months, and she also use that time to visit Miwa.</p><p>“Hey miss Miwa…” Hanbin kissed Miwa who immediately reach out for him.</p><p>“How’s 5gam?” his mom asking about the perfumery shop.</p><p>“They gave me two months to move everything out.” Hanbin put Miwa on the baby chair and give her the snack puff.</p><p>Mrs. Kim smiles, Hanbin knew it’s a kind of sad smile.</p><p>“I’m sorry…” Hanbin said.</p><p>“Don’t be, son… I know you have no time for that…”</p><p>Hanbin stop and looking at mrs. Kim, “and please don’t blame Jiwon.”</p><p>“I won’t… I won’t…” his mom chuckles, his mom took a deep breathe before helping Hanbin take the food. To be honest, her heart breaks when Hanbin said Jiwon is going to move to Jeju and how the two boys couldn’t get any better option than the separation. But she tried to understand that they both are adult who has to start choosing their own path without any intervention from outside parties.</p><p>“Anyway, you’re gonna drive to the train station after this, right?”</p><p>Hanbin nodded, “of course.”</p><p>“And what about Christmas?”</p><p>Hanbin’s aunt who had transient ischemic attack or mini stroke got better after 2 years of therapy, and mrs. Kim promise her to go to on a holiday with her to the warmer place this Christmas.</p><p>“We’ll spend it here, don’t worry, mom… I’m sure the neighbour is going to celebrate it with us.”</p><p>“What about Jiwon?”</p><p>“I’m gonna let him know soon, he told me he’ll be here, if he’s not too busy.” Hanbin said, “argh… I’m so full…”</p><p>“You don’t eat really well.” Mrs. Kim pointed at the leftover which still a lot.</p><p>“I’m gonna take away this, Miwa likes the broth.” Hanbin raised his hands, calling the server.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin opened the apartment door with Miwa standing and holding his calve while his other hand bringing a lot of stuff, from the galbitang to Miwa’s diaper bag.</p><p>“Okay, go in, Kim Miwa, and say I’m home.” no one's at home but he taught her to always say it whenever they're home.</p><p>Miwa stepped in, “Am howmm…”</p><p>“Welcome home, Miwa.”</p><p>Both Miwa and Hanbin stiffened by the voice coming from inside the house. Someone is sitting at the living room couch still in working shirt and dress pants.</p><p>“Appaa… apaaa… AAPPPAA!!” Miwa running to Jiwon and Jiwon is laughing from the euphoric feeling to see Miwa.</p><p>“You really is able to walk now, miss Miwa??”</p><p>“Appaaa…”</p><p>Jiwon lift her up, “miss me?”</p><p>Miwa wrapped her little arms around Jiwon’s neck.</p><p>“Ahh… I miss you so much, Miwa…” Jiwon pull her away just to kiss her cheek repeatedly. Then he look up to see Hanbin who still stunned near the kitchen. “h-hey…”</p><p>“Hi…” Hanbin took off his shoes and he realised there’s another shoes in there. “you’re… here.”</p><p>“Yeah, I kind of wanted to be here before Christmas.” Jiwon smiles.</p><p>Hanbin put down the diaper bag, Jiwon still looking at him, not knowing what to do, “uh… galbitang?”</p><p>“Oh, sure… I haven’t had my dinner.”</p><p> </p><p>Jiwon eats the short ribs soup with Miwa stays on his lap. The baby refused to be away from her appa.</p><p>“What time did you arrived?” Hanbin asked, trying to make himself busy by cleaning up the house, and by now he already move Miwa’s toy box three times.</p><p>“around 6… my plane landed at 4.” Jiwon replied, “have you eaten?”</p><p>“I had, with mom… she was here since yesterday and got back to Busan just now.”</p><p>“I see…” he murmured, “Uh, I met Junhoe last week…”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I told him to give you the charger…”</p><p>“Right… and he told me that you have a gig on the weekend…”</p><p>“Yes, last Saturday, lucky enough that mom is here. Miwa is safe with her.” Hanbin replied.</p><p>“Good…”</p><p>“H-how’s the—uh how’s Jeju?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“Fine… I mean, the house is nice, the course will start on february because of some reasons. You know…” he put Miwa down so he could bring the plates to the dishwasher but Miwa is immediately pouting, “wait, Miw, appa just gonna go to there. Just one second.”</p><p>Hanbin took Miwa’s laundry and fold it while Jiwon hold Miwa around the house, listening to the baby blabbing about God knows what.</p><p>“Bin, I found this utilities bill on the kitchen, they not collecting it every six months anymore?”</p><p>“They do, they just send the bills on 20<sup>th</sup> every month now.” Hanbin stopped, 20<sup>th</sup> of December was yesterday, it means that today is 21<sup>st</sup> of December, “Jiwon…”</p><p>Jiwon turned to look at Hanbin.</p><p>Hanbin stood up and going to the kitchen.</p><p>“Bin…?” he's confused.</p><p>“Put Miwa on her cot and turn the TV on, you should go take a shower.” Hanbin said.</p><p>“Oh, right… okay…” he's still confused but he put the baby down and despite her protests, Miwa is instantly absorbed by the dancing apples on TV.</p><p> </p><p>And after around 20 minutes, Jiwon get out of the room all fresh in his favorite old sweater and pyjama pants. He sat on the couch ready to play with Miwa again but then the younger came with a bowl on his hand.</p><p>“Here, have this.” Hanbin came bring him a bowl of seaweed soup. “Happy birthday.”</p><p>Jiwon dazed, he doesn’t know that Hanbin knew his birth date. “Oh, uhm, thank you.” Jiwon look up, “you made this?”</p><p>“I have the instant seasoning, so… yeah, not much effort, but you have to drink this on your birthday.”</p><p>Jiwon had at least five to six birthdays where he celebrate it alone, only with the text from Jian or a small cake prepared by his co-workers, even when he got Jinwoo as his boyfriend back then, the older didn’t celebrate it with him because of too many excuses. But today, he’s practically single, but he got Hanbin quickly prepared one of the most essential food for birthdays, he also grabbed a banana bread (Miwa’s supposedly breakfast) topped it with a candle from the younger’s birthday two months a go, and Jiwon also got his daughter trying to sing a happy birthday for him.</p><p>This is home.</p><p>Jiwon thanked God that he took the last minute decision to go to Seoul today.</p><p>Because Miwa, and the younger guy in front of him, are his home…</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>At night before they went to sleep, before Jiwon get into the guest room, Jiwon asked Hanbin if he could visit mrs. Kim in Busan because it’s been a long time he hasn’t seen her, also he wasn’t properly saying goodbye when he moved to Jeju.</p><p>Hanbin told him that his mom is going abroad on Christmas eve, so it’s better to visit her as soon as possible.</p><p>So today, the day after Jiwon’s arrival, Jiwon dragged a medium luggage while Hanbin has Miwa inside the carrier, walking inside the Seoul train station. Jiwon keep smiling because Hanbin wear the coat he bought for him, also Miwa. They looked really cute, it made Jiwon jealous.</p><p>Jiwon bought dosirak or boxed meal for him and Hanbin, he also bought one long rolled kimbap and sweet heottok. He was going in a minimart to buy warm drinks when Hanbin called him.</p><p>“Ji,” Hanbin said, “it’s only two and a half our from here… why you bought a lot?”</p><p>“We haven’t had out breakfast.” He hang the dosirak plastic bag on the luggage handle, “so, what do you want to drink?”</p><p>“Coffee.”</p><p>“Okay, wait for me here.” Jiwon went inside the minimart and buy some cans of coffee and Hanbin saw him took some snack too.</p><p>“Monthly groceries, Kim Jiwon?” Hanbin chuckles when Jiwon bring another plastic bags full of drink and snacks.</p><p>“I bought Miwa some baby snacks because it’s her first train ride, isn’t it??”</p><p>Hanbin gasped, “you’re right!” Hanbin poke Miwa’s cheek, “miss Miwa, have you ever see real train??”</p><p>“Twainn…” Miwa pointed at the train.</p><p>“Smartie!” Hanbin claps, “you saw them only from TV and books, right? Now you see the real one…”</p><p>“Daddyyhh…”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Chooo choo!”</p><p>Hanbin pretend to gasped, “when did you become so smart?”</p><p>“So envy…” Jiwon murmured.</p><p>“Hm?” Hanbin lift his head.</p><p>“I wanna be close to Miwa too…”</p><p>Hanbin didn’t say anything, and Jiwon knew he shouldn’t say that. It was all his decision to move.</p><p>“Sorry, I didn’t mean to—“</p><p>“No, you’re right…” Hanbin cut him, “you’re only here for few days,” he unclasped the baby carrier, “you should use your time to be with Miwa as much as you can… here, take Miwa and I’ll help you wear the carrier.”</p><p>“Hanbin…”</p><p>“Go, go, Miwa, go to appa…” he said and Miwa immediately reaching out for Jiwon.</p><p> </p><p>Mrs. Kim loves the surprise visit, tho it’s not purely surprise because Hanbin told her in advance that he’ll go there, but he didn’t mention Jiwon.</p><p>Hanbin and Jiwon didn’t plan on staying the night because the house in Busan only have one guest room available. It’s actually a big house, but mrs. Kim renovated two other guest room as a library and the other for Hanbin’s aunt therapy room.</p><p>Speaking of his aunt, she’s ecstatic to see Hanbin again after a long time. She looks a lot healthier even tho she’s still using the wheelchair. She seems to like Jiwon so much since Jiwon helped her to organised her medicines.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t have gift for your birthday, do you want to eat the best gukbap?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>Jiwon nodded, he loves gukbap and Busan is famous for that dish.</p><p>“I have one shop that sell the most delicious gukbap I’ve ever ate.” Hanbin continued while feeding Miwa, “moomm… is Dwaeji gukbap near old station still there?”</p><p>“Yes, only now the shop is bigger.” Mrs. Kim came, “you wanna eat there?”</p><p>Hanbin nodded, “you wanna come? Or should I just call the delivery?”</p><p>“No, no, you boys go there and eat on the spot, that’s the best way to enjoy the gukbap… but, if you’re not going anywhere again after that, bring home some.” She winks.</p><p>Jiwon laughs, “should we bring Miwa?” Jiwon asked Hanbin but mrs. Kim cut him.</p><p>“In this weather?” mrs. Kim asked, “no… no… she’s stay.”</p><p> </p><p>They walked around a bit after eating the gukbap and brought home two portion of it when suddenly they saw cottony rain.</p><p>“Snow…” Jiwon said.</p><p>“Right…”</p><p>Jiwon clears his throat when he saw many people who witnessing the first snow is either hugging or even kissing their partner, because seeing first snow with your loved ones means eternal love.</p><p>Hanbin saw Jiwon awkwardness so he pretend to hug the big container of gukbap and walking towards the taxi station.</p><p>The snow’s getting thicker, and when they’re home, mrs. Kim told Hanbin to call the train station because usually on the first day of snow they will cancel some schedules. He and Jiwon didn’t buy return tickets because the train from Busan to Seoul is every half an hour.</p><p>Mrs. Kim reheat the gukbap while Jiwon hold Miwa, “he ate a lot?” she asked.</p><p>“Who? Hanbin?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Yes, he finished the whole bowl and finished the dumplings we ordered as side snacks too.”</p><p>Mrs. Kim smiles, “he wasn’t eat well lately. When I visited him last time, he keep leaving food on his plate, lots of it…”</p><p>Jiwon didn’t say anything, doesn’t want to think that Hanbin got his appetite back when he’s here. He really don’t want to put his hopes up too high.</p><p>“He’s a happy eater… he eat a lot when he’s happy.” Mrs. Kim added and Jiwon feel the tug in his heart strings.</p><p>Hanbin get into the kitchen, “I called the station and they said the last train will be at 7.50 pm” he sighs. Usually the last train from Busan is at 11 pm. Hanbin looking at the clock, 7.10 pm. “Do you think we can make it?” he asked Jiwon.</p><p>Jiwon hesitates, “I’m not sure.”</p><p>“Just stay here until the morning…” mrs. Kim said, “I’ll prepare the bed.”</p><p>“But mom…”</p><p>“Ah right, the bed is not big…” she murmured then rub her chin to think, “Oh, Miwa can sleep with me.” She continued as if it’s the only problem.</p><p>Hanbin turned to Jiwon.</p><p>“Don’t worry, I can sleep anywhere.”</p><p>Of course Hanbin didn’t let him sleep on the couch or anywhere during winter, even tho he knew sleeping on the same bed with Jiwon would be hard, Hanbin is ready if he end up didn’t sleep a wink. But he was wrong, listens to Jiwon’s regular breathing lul him to sleep. And the familiar warmth beside him get him sleeping so deep, he couldn’t remember his dream.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this is a laid back chapter i would say (dont you agree?) they're became friends again, grudge is gone.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Christmas & New Year Eve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>which they have a closure</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Hanbin went out the baby TV building towards the taxi station when he saw Jennie from a far. Jennie saw him too and trying to smile but Hanbin ignored her. He get into his taxi and rest his back further, a little guilt sneaks in but he refuse to give it attentions.</p><p>Few days a go, she showed up in front of his door, telling him sorry, telling him that she was blinded but jealousy and grudge. Hanbin couldn’t simply submit to her excuses. She hurts him and Jiwon, she made him looks like a fool for considering her offer to be friends again. She told her to fuck off and not even spare a glance to her when Jennie’s eyes glazing from tear.</p><p>Jennie texted him few times, saying that she’d understand that Hanbin would never accept her apologies but the thing bothers him is Junhoe. When he met Junhoe, Junhoe told him that Jennie trully awake to her culpability and her apologies were sincere.</p><p>Hanbin refuse to comment for now. still too many resentments occupied his chest. He couldn’t think about forgiving Jennie without thinking about his miserable relationship with Jiwon.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“But part of it was your mistake.” Junhoe told him that day</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You and Jiwon, it didn’t work not only because of Jennie, part of it was yours and Jiwon’s mistakes.” The younger said, “it shows that your bond with him was so thin it breaks from small things.” Junhoe scoffed, “break up for a long distance relationship?” Junhoe shook his head, “I’m mentally laughing at you right now.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And all Hanbin can do is sulking.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>few days later, Yun host a Christmas in their place, turns out the top floor where Yun live is bigger than other units.</p><p>“I wanted to say it’s unfair but he’s the landlord son, so…” Jinhwan shrugs his shoulder, “anyway, aren’t Hanbin said he broke up with Jiwon, then why they came together looking like married couple than ever?” Jinan looking at his right-side and found Ezra looking at him with a curious eyes.</p><p>“What, uncle Jin?” he asked.</p><p>“Ugh, you won’t understand,” Jinan rolled his eyes, “you’re just a baby.” Jinan left Ezra with his toys and walked towards the kitchen. “hey, Liz, are they back together?”</p><p>Lisa looking at the direction where Jiwon is holding Miwa and Hanbin bring two glasses of champagne for himself and Jiwon. Seems like Miwa still missing Jiwon so she still refuse to play with other kids and instead is clinging on her appa.</p><p>“Based on Jisoo unnie who got the gossip from Yun oppa, who got it from lawyer Do Kyungsoo… No.” Lisa sips her drink. “aren’t you suppose to know from mr. observer??”</p><p>“Hey!! I don’t have any relationship with him.” He waved his hands in dismissal.</p><p>“Oof so defensive. Interesting~” Lisa whistles.</p><p>Yun passes them to open the door, seems like he’s waiting for more guests. Lisa saw Do Kyungsoo and Jung Chanwoo came followed by Junhoe and … Jennie.</p><p>Hanbin immediately looked uncomfortable and Jiwon realised that but he left Hanbin side to let Miwa play with Haru and Ezra.</p><p>“Why'd you bring Jennie here?” Hanbin who invite Junhoe annoyed that Junhoe is being insensitive.</p><p>“What?” Junhoe wear his blunt face, “she’s my plus one.”</p><p>“Yeah but—ugh!” Hanbin mentally stomp his feet.</p><p>“Aren’t you and Jennie already settled down everything? She told me she talked to you and apologize?”</p><p>“Yes, and I told her to get away from me.” Hanbin said,</p><p>“Stop being a five years old bitch, and she’s not here for you.”</p><p>“Yeah she’s here as your plus one I get it, but—“</p><p>“She’s here to see Jiwon.” Junhoe take a champagne from a table, “I would say she’s brave enough to face her mistakes.”</p><p>“She’s always bold, but making Jiwon upset today is the last thing I wanna do!”</p><p>Junhoe chuckles, “don’t worry about that…”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing compares what Hanbin meant to me.” Jennie said.</p><p>Jennie thought asking for Jiwon’s time would be hard, but she was surprised that Jiwon immediately said okay and even brought her a glass of champagne.</p><p>Jennie twirl her fingers on the champagne glass, “but when he slap me with his words that day… I realised I’m making mistake.” She’s playing with the glass of wine on her hand, “I never felt so low…”</p><p>“I heard everything from Junhoe anyway…” Jiwon said, “I just never thought you gonna come to me and apologize.”</p><p>“I have to.” Jennie murmured, “hurting you both didn’t make me happy either… in fact, seeing him hurting because of me breaks my heart.” she sighed, “I’m sorry, Jiwon-ssi…”</p><p>Jiwon smiles, “You were too much, tho I don’t want to cursed at your face but still, you’re too much…”</p><p>“Don’t worry about all harsh words, Junhoe cursed at me more than he should.” Jennie shrug her shoulders.</p><p>They both laughing, Jiwon could imagine Junhoe raging up.</p><p>“But I know this is not entirely your fault.” Jiwon said, “you just adding salt to our wound.”</p><p>“That sounds as bad.”</p><p>“You could be worse, but Junhoe came to you at the right time.” Jiwon said.</p><p>“Should we thank Junhoe?”</p><p>Jiwon shrugged his shoulder, “Junhoe is no different with you, he kissed Hanbin in front of my eyes.” Jiwon said, “well, it was accidental but still…”</p><p>“He’s gay??? I thought he’s straight, I mean, he looks like womanizer.”</p><p>“He probably bi, I don’t know, don’t care either.” Jiwon laughs. “you like him?”</p><p>“Ewh! Not in million years.” Jennie flinched.</p><p>“Million years is like a second if you enjoy the ride.”</p><p>“And what’s that supposed to imply?”</p><p>Jiwon shrugged again and laughs.</p><p>“Weird.” Jennie rolled her eyes and sip her drink.</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin saw Jiwon is at the dining table munching cakes after talking to Jennie, and he can’t help but going to him.</p><p>“Hey…” Hanbin said.</p><p>“Cakes?” Jiwon showed his plate.</p><p>Hanbin smiles, “uhm… I saw you talking to Jennie.”</p><p>Jiwon smiles back, “yeah…”</p><p>“Everything’s good?” he asked, trying to not crossing their lines.</p><p>“Yes. Everything’s good, Bin.”</p><p>“Hanbin, Miwa’s crying.” Jisoo shouts from a where Miwa’s playing.</p><p>“Crying?” Hanbin furrowed his eyebrows because she’s not a crybaby, “maybe she’s hungry.”</p><p>“I’ll get her.” Jiwon said, leaving Hanbin with Junhoe.</p><p>Hanbin turned to Junhoe and the tall guy smirked.</p><p>“So… Jiwon doesn’t seems upset after talking to Jennie.” Junhoe said.</p><p>“Yeah,” Hanbin saw Jennie across the room talking to Lisa and Jisoo, “hey, why you seems very close to Jennie lately? Do you know something I didn’t?”</p><p>Junhoe shrugged his shoulders, “nope.”</p><p>“What happened after I left the coffeeshop that day?”</p><p>“Which day?” Junhoe sips his drink.</p><p>“The day she tried to make Miwa called her mommy.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p>-</p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Few weeks a go, in a coffeeshop near TV M.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>After Hanbin left furiously, Jennie took her purse, about to leave when Junhoe snatched her wrist. “Why don’t you sit and we talked?”</p><p>“I have nothing to talk about with you.”</p><p>“I just wanna know why you’re obsessed with Hanbin?”</p><p>Jennie staring at him for awhile before saying, “Drink with me.”</p><p>Junhoe and Jennie ended up sitting on a quiet bar, the jazz music and some people chattering faintly heard behind them. There’s two bottles of soju, beer, and a plate full Pajeon or korean savoury pancake in front of them.</p><p>“Now talk!” Junhoe said but Jennie tilt her head, looking at Junhoe. “Are you always creepy and unbearable like this?” Junhoe asked.</p><p>Jennie smiles, mockingly grinning, “you know you’re good looking, aren’t ya?” she let Junhoe poured her a drink and she sip it without clink it with him.</p><p>Junhoe didn’t replied, he just drinking his beer.</p><p>“Does life going easy on you?”</p><p>Junhoe looking at Jennie, “what do you think?”</p><p>“I think life is easy for good looking people.”</p><p>Junhoe couldn’t say no, he was lacking in skill of DJing compared to one of his mate back then, but Won choose him because he’s more good looking, and Won said Junhoe can always develop his skill.</p><p>“But that only happened to men.”</p><p>“Huh?” Junhoe creased his eyebrows.</p><p>“You heard me.” Jennie smiles while take another shot of Soju, “look at me.” Jennie said, “I’m above average.”</p><p>He agrees, Jennie is pretty, her face features is cute and sexy at the same time.</p><p>“But this face made me hated by other girls, they think I’m walking around stealing their boyfriends.” She said, “I’ve no friends before. They hated me because I’m too pretty. And that’s a fact.” She winks.</p><p>Junhoe watching her rip the pajeon with her chopsticks.</p><p>“Until I met Hanbin.” She munch the pancake, “we started as friends then we became comfortable with each other… and then Hanbin told me he likes me.” Soft smile formed on her face, “I realised I like him too… so we dated. And I’m so happy, because after that, I started to have friends, people aren’t scare of me anymore, Junhoe. They stopped thinking I’d steal their boyfriends because I have one… and we were so happy together.”</p><p>Junhoe feels his heart clenched when he saw Jennie trying to swallow her sadness away.</p><p>“I gained friends, I even had my own girls squad, my life became enjoyable, I liked it a lot, and I started to be anxious if I lose them all… so I made sure Hanbin never gonna leave me. The anxiety ate me up… I started became possessive. Until my parents told me they’re worried about me… they told me I need to start a new life. They forced me to left Hanbin.”</p><p>“Then what makes you repeat the same mistake now?”</p><p>“I still love him.”</p><p>“But he’s happy with Jiwon! And you’re being selfish by ruining their relationship.”</p><p>“Now try be me, Junhoe!” Jennie raised her voice, “my life was a mess before, and it started to make sense when I’m with Hanbin. I can’t forget him even tho my parents forced me to moved away with them!” she paused, “Then I met him again… only to find out that he’s already with someone else. A guy. A. guy!”</p><p>Junhoe scoffed, “what’s wrong with that? Are you gonna blame love?”</p><p>Jennie hang her head low, trying not to bawl.</p><p>“Jennie… ssi.” Junhoe pats her shoulder, “I understand your story… but don’t you think it’s enough suffer for Hanbin? He lost his only brother, he needs to adjust his life with suddenly being a dad, then he found a little happiness in Jiwon, now that they’re broke up, are you gonna continue to make him suffer?” he said, “he’s a kind person, he’s still befriending you after all you did to him, he believes that you’re a brand new person, he believes the goodness in you.”</p><p>Jennie drown her face between her arms, “they’re broke up not because of me…” she cries.</p><p>“I know…” Junhoe caressing her hair, “it’s not entirely your fault… their ego also took parts in it. But I hope you could at least apologize to Jiwon… he doesn’t deserves your bitchiness.”</p><p>Jennie lift her head. Junhoe thought she’s gonna explode hearing Jiwon’s name but she’s actually calm enough to listen to Junhoe.</p><p>“Jiwon doesn’t have anyone, his parents and sister are all passed away… his only family is Miwa, and Hanbin. I fully understood if he’s trying his best to protect them from you…” Junhoe said, “honestly, I was so mad when you asked Miwa to call you Mommy, because… Miwa is the world for Jiwon… Jennie-ssi, you could try to take Hanbin away from him, but don’t take Miwa.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p>-</p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Bin…” Jiwon outside Miwa’s room, Hanbin is in there to clean up her toys.</p><p>“Yes?” he lift his head.</p><p>He hesitantly put down a paper bag.</p><p>“W-what’s that?”</p><p>“Uh, christmas gift.”</p><p>“Jiwon, I didn’t prepare anything for you!”</p><p>“No need.” Jiwon scratch his nape, “I just, I made that just because I have free time.” He chuckles.</p><p>“You <em>made</em> that?” Hanbin immediately took the bag and peek what’s inside, he pulled out a small clear bottle, a 50 ml perfume named, Hanbin. “Perfume?”</p><p>“Well, it’s a funny story, I mean, you made drink inspired from my perfume—or me, and I never really know what’s your perfume… I mean, you smell like baby, like Miwa, so I kind of found this small artisan perfumery and made perfume based on my knowledge about how you smell…” Jiwon chuckled, “I sounds silly, you know, don’t mind me…”</p><p>“Oh… wow…” Hanbin smell the perfume. It smells like baby powder, honeysuckle, acacia honey. “does it has alcohol in it?”</p><p>Jiwon nodded.</p><p>Hanbin smiles, “Ji, you weren’t being ignorant for not knowing my perfume because I never use any… I kind of allergic the alcohol base found in perfumes… that’s why my dad made a perfumery to make a natural fragrance for people with sensitive skin like me… but I never really use perfume from his shop tho…”</p><p>“Oh no…”</p><p>“But it’s okay, thank you so much.” Hanbin looking at him, “I mean it, thank you so much! I’m so happy that you find me smelling so good like this! I really like the smell…”</p><p>Suddenly someone knock on the unit’s door, Jiwon walked towards the door to open it. Not long after, the older peeked from the door frame,</p><p>“Lisa’s here, she’s looking for you.”</p><p>Hanbin went to the kitchen where Lisa is waiting for her while Jiwon sat with Miwa in her room, listening to the baby singing a song from her favorite composer, her dad.</p><p>It’s only less than ten minutes before Jiwon heard the door’s open and closed and Hanbin went to his room before appear in Miwa’s room.</p><p>“Jiwon…” he said.</p><p>Jiwon lift his head, “yeah?”</p><p>He gave him two pieces of small rectangular papers, the theme park tickets, “it’s still valid until new year… you—uh—wanna go?”</p><p>Jiwon paused, “oh, well, uhm, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to… I mean, it’s not expensive, so—“</p><p>“But I want to go.” Hanbin said it fast.</p><p>Jiwon immobile, “o-okay then… we’ll go… tomorrow?”</p><p>Hanbin nodded, Jiwon could see his ear is red.</p><p>“We’ll bring Miwa?”</p><p>“Lisa said she’s gonna watch her for me.”</p><p>“She came here to say that?”</p><p>Lisa came and told Hanbin that she knew from Jinan, who knew from Jennie, who knew from Junhoe about the birthday gift. And she’s hoping that Hanbin would go with Jiwon. That’s why she offered herself to watch Miwa meanwhile the boys go to the theme park.</p><p>Hanbin nodded and Jiwon didn’t ask anything further, he let whatever Lisa’s plan on them be his mystery.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Three months a go, when Jiwon booked the tickets online, he imagined he and Hanbin would go to this theme park just like any other couples. They will ride some extreme rides, went to the haunted house together, eat hotdogs and ice creams while taking millions selfies with their head accessories sold in the gift shop.</p><p>Never he imagined they’ll all awkward. Like today.</p><p>Hanbin picked a tiger ear as his accessories, while he picked a bunny hat for Jiwon. Then they can’t go riding roller coaster or similar rides because it’s freezing cold, the haunted house is temporary closed due to maintenance. Just today. How unfortunate. They just walking around, looking at the fantastic christmas decoration all over the park. They don’t talk too much, just exchanging giggles or commenting on bunch of school girls who still eating ice cream in this weather while they’re craving for hot spicy ramyun and warm tea.</p><p>“Look, Lisa sent me photos.” Hanbin showed Jiwon his cellphone.</p><p>“They’re going out for lunch?”</p><p>“Uh-hm,” Hanbin sliding to the next picture, “since when they’re close?”</p><p>Jiwon craning his neck to see the pictures, there are Lisa and Donghyuk with Miwa on Donghyuk’s lap and Ezra sitting beside him, next to them are Jisoo and Yunhyeong with Haru, and Junhoe then Jennie.</p><p>“Why Junhoe and Jennie are there while Jinan hyung is nowhere to be found?” Jiwon asked.</p><p>“Exactly! Since when Junhoe suddenly close to our neighbor… Jennie too.” Hanbin observing the pictures, she frowned to the fact that Jennie is there, “…why would she be there.”</p><p>Jiwon turned to the younger boy, “hey, you still upset about Jennie?”</p><p>Hanbin inhaled, “I just… I don’t know…”</p><p>“She made mistake, so did we…”</p><p>“But she hurt me, hurt me again, then she hurt you.”</p><p>“I forgave her Bin… not because I’m not mad anymore, but because myself need peace.” Jiwon looking at Hanbin.</p><p>Embarrassment sneaks between his ribs, Jennie might act like an evil but Hanbin knew his hatred towards the girl is because he was looking at anything to blame for his failed relationship with Jiwon.</p><p>Jiwon saw him sighing then the latter asked, “You good, Bin?”</p><p>“I miss Miwa…” he murmured, but then he stopped, feeling sorry because it’s supposed to be his quality time with Jiwon, whatever it is for, and he shouldn’t missing Miwa now.</p><p>Suddenly Jiwon laughs, “You wanna go home?”</p><p>“No, no, it’s fine…”</p><p>“It’s okay if you wanna go home… I’d rather to spent the rest of the day inside our warm house, accompanying that cotton ball playing with her rubber spatulla rather than be here for another hour, Bin, it’s freezing.”</p><p>“Really?” Hanbin smiles, and Jiwon feels like he’s doing the right thing. “okay, let’s go.”</p><p> </p><p>They didn’t bring their car, and now they couldn’t get a taxi, so they decided to take a bus home. The bus is super packed, they both cornered near the door, pressed by other passengers. Jiwon feel Hanbin is pressing himself to him when the bus is approaching a shelter.</p><p>“The bus is packed enough, he shouldn’t stop to add another passenger.” A woman near Jiwon and Hanbin scoffing while referring the driver who open the door for people to get in.</p><p>Hanbin puffing his cheek frustratingly while trying to give those people space, Jiwon watch him, he watch him and then he takes the younger’s hand, pulling him to be closer to him, and keep him there.</p><p>Hanbin let out a soft gasp before settle up beside Jiwon.</p><p>Hand in hand.</p><p>Jiwon move his finger slowly, excruciatingly slow only to get their fingers clasping together.</p><p>Warmth pursues through their ribcage.</p><p>They look away from each other.</p><p>But the crimson color tinted their cheekbones shows that those small gestures hit right to their hearts.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The boys took Miwa from Lisa’s unit, Junhoe and Jennie are still there chatting with Donghyuk.</p><p>“How’s the park?” Lisa asked while handed Miwa’s diaper bag to Jiwon.</p><p>“Cold. Freezing cold.” Jiwon shortly replied, he’s watching Hanbin trying to lift the sleeping baby.</p><p>“Any interesting story?” Jennie joined them.</p><p>Jiwon move his eyes, thinking when Jennie gave him a meaningful gaze, “uh, nope.”</p><p>“No?” she raised her eyebrows in scrutiny, “nothing?”</p><p>Jiwon didn’t say anything, he’s confused now.</p><p>“You and Hanbin are still friends?”</p><p>“Yeah, we’re not fighting or anything.” He then adding, “thank God.”</p><p>Jennie exasperatedly exhales, “I mean, you guys still <em>just</em> friends?”</p><p>Oh, Jiwon get that now.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Créma decided to make the big party for new year, all resident DJs are playing back to back while after midnight the international DJ will be on deck.</p><p>Again, Lisa told Jiwon he should go out and let Miwa stay with her. Jiwon was disagree at first but Hanbin said it would be great if Jiwon would come. They will leave Miwa at 10 after she asleep and will take her in the morning. She wouldn’t even realised she was left at Lisa’s.</p><p> </p><p>Now Hanbin is behind the DJ booth with Junhoe jumping behind him with a bottle of Dom Perignon on his hand hyping Hanbin. Ocean of people under them dancing while making toast and laughing while slowly getting intoxicated.</p><p>Jiwon watch the boy on the deck which playing a nice bop, biting his plumpy lips while concentrating.</p><p>“You’re so disappointing.”</p><p>Jiwon turned to see someone beside him. Jennie.</p><p>“I made that plan so you both can go to the theme park, I persuaded Lisa, paid for their meals so she agreed to watch Miwa for you and you’re not doing anything to get him back???”</p><p>“You really did that all?”</p><p>“Who you think able to do such scheme if that’s not me? Jennie the bitch?”</p><p>Jiwon can’t help but laughing, “you’re really is…”</p><p>“Ugh do something tonight! Ask him to comeback to you!”</p><p>“Why you’re doing this?”</p><p>Jennie suddenly pout, “…out of guilt?”</p><p>Jiwon can’t believe that Jennie, the woman he hates the most could be so adorable. Jiwon shrugged his shoulder, “I shouldn’t push him to comeback to me… Hanbin might be not ready yet.”</p><p>“Oh come one!! Junhoe said he’s sad when you’re gone!”</p><p>“Yeah, but being together again means that we have to deal with long distance relationship, I think he’s not ready for that… that’s why he broke up with me.”</p><p>“You. <em>You</em> broke up with him!” Jennie raised her voice.</p><p>“He offered me that option!” Jiwon followed by raising his voice too.</p><p>“Yeah, but you can always choose to stay in relationship!” Jennie hissed.</p><p>“Who’s side are you?”</p><p>“My side.” Jennie replied, “I’m my own side, mister, I don’t pick side between two fools.”</p><p>Jiwon rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Do you really gonna let him being single? Look at him! He’s so cool on stage, oh my God, I think I’m gonna court him again if you let me.”</p><p>“Back off, Jen!”</p><p>Jennie cracked, “I’m kidding, okay? Now it’s time for you to man up, oppa!”</p><p>“Oppa?”</p><p>“Yes, you’re my oppa now!” Jennie grinned, “and if Hanbin rejected you, just call me, I’ll drink with you.”</p><p>“As if I never tried to be drunk only to forget him…” Jiwon murmured.</p><p>“You did???”</p><p>“I tried to drink, alcohol, not water, okay?” Jiwon said. “it was working for a while until the second I thought about his smile.” Jiwon’s sappy eyes went to the stage again and see DJ B.I drinking champagne from junhoe’s bottle. “Geez, he looks extra fine.”</p><p>Jennie really wants to roll her eyes so high it went to the back of her head. “if I don’t have this guilt to you I might dismiss you right now, Kim Jiwon. But since I used to be the bad guy, so let me help you with something.”</p><p>They wait until they saw Hanbin disappeared back to the backstage then Jennie snatch the iced americano Jiwon been drinking (he said he shouldn’t drink because he’ll be driving) and push him to couch, “sit still!”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Shut up and follow my play, okay??”</p><p>“Hey.” Hanbin came from the crowd, he has to stop by few times to greet people, he saw Jinan with his friends, and Jennie, and Jiwon who sit quietly on the couch, “Jiwon, you okay?” he ignored Jennie (still).</p><p>Jiwon was about to answer when Jennie exclaim.</p><p>“He’s drunk! You should totally bring him home!!!”</p><p>Hanbin flinched, he’s not planning at talking to Jennie at all.</p><p>Jiwon put a confuse face. He’s not drunk. He’s been drinking that fucking iced americano.</p><p>“But the new year party—“ Hanbin said, he’s about to join the others and Junhoe (who still up on the DJ booth), "the countdown which is less than two minutes" he mumbled, but again, he was cut by Jennie.</p><p>“Okay, let’s wait until the countdown and then you have to bring him home. I’m afraid he’s going to make unecessary drama scene here!”</p><p>Junhoe and the guest DJ leading the crowd to counting down, Hanbin checking on Jiwon who is now standing beside him. He looks fine, just a little quiet.</p><p>“Three… two… one…!! HAPPY NEW YEAR 2021!!”</p><p>everybody is hugging everybody, couples are kissing, the rest clinking their glasses. Hanbin hugged Jinan and hesitantly hugged Jennie, then he turned to see Jiwon.</p><p>The latter's smiling.</p><p>He made the crowd behind him blurred into a soft out of focus object.</p><p>And all Hanbin sees is Jiwon’s smile to him.</p><p>“Happy new year…” Jiwon said, “...Hanbinnie.”</p><p>The younger nodded, “happy new year…” his heart aching to call him Kimji again, but he continued, “Jiwon…”</p><p>No kisses, no hugs. Yes, because that's how an only friend treat each other.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin drove in silence. When they’re home, Hanbin offer Jiwon to help him walk but the older refuse. He’s not drunk for pete sake. And he doesn’t know how to act.</p><p>Hanbin threw the key into the bowl in the doorway and took off his shoes, he’s looking at Jiwon, he didn’t asked but immediately squat down to help Jiwon with his shoelace and Jiwon’s chest aching.</p><p>“I’m fine, Bin…”</p><p>“Sure you do.” Hanbin replied, he sat up and go to the kitchen, he took a bottled water and give it to Jiwon, “you need aspirins?”</p><p>“No, I’m good, really.” Hanbin nature in taking care of him only bring deeper sorrow in him.</p><p>Hanbin looking at Jiwon, his dumb self still thinking that Jiwon is drunk so he’s gonna staring at him as long as he wants. Unknowingly he smiles.</p><p>“Don’t smile.” Jiwon murmured.</p><p>Hanbin’s smile fading instantly, “huh?”</p><p>“Don’t…” he murmured again, staring at the younger, “…smile.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because your smile is so pretty,” he blabbing, he regret it but there’s no stopping right now, “and I hate it because that’s not mine anymore.”</p><p>Hanbin’s heart tightens from his words.</p><p>“The fact that with those smiles you could melt any heart and brings you possibilities to have other people falling for you makes me sick.” He said it in an annoyed murmurs. “I couldn’t do anything if that happens… because you’re a free people. You’re allowed to date anyone because you’re single. I couldn’t get mad, I couldn’t say no, I couldn’t prohibit you from dating someone else.”</p><p>“Whoaa… you should hear yourself when you’re sober.”</p><p>“You think I’m drunk?” Jiwon took another step closer to the younger.</p><p>“You are.”</p><p>“I’m not.”</p><p>Hanbin gasped when Jiwon is chest to chest with him and the older lean in to let his lips approaching really close to Hanbin.</p><p>“Do you smell alcohol?”</p><p>He didn’t, Hanbin smell faint coffee from his breath.</p><p>“I drank iced americano not a shot of alcohol.” He whispered. “asked Vince, he was looking at me like I’m a freak for asking for coffee.”</p><p>“The bar doesn’t have coffee, Ji.”</p><p>“Yeah, he got me one from the backstage coffee machine.” Jiwon shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>“Then why you act drunk?”</p><p>“Because it’s easier for me. It’s easier for you too to bring me home without much talking on the way.” Jiwon still so close to Hanbin.</p><p>Hanbin looking down, avoiding his gaze and their almost-no-distant lips. And then the older tilt his head further, and land a kiss on his cheek.</p><p>“Happy new year again, Hanbin, and good night.”</p><p> </p><p>No, he couldn’t sleep. Hanbin flipping himself side to side for the rest of the night until he found the dawn is peeking. He sat up and let his feet touch the cold floor. One deep sigh before he get up and slowly walking outside.</p><p>Hanbin look around. It’s silent. The house is even quieter knowing Miwa is not home. Hanbin is looking at the door of the guest room and unintentionally his feet brought him to that room. And he knocked.</p><p>Jiwon opened the door, his face showed Hanbin that the older hasn’t sleep a wink too.</p><p>“Bin…”</p><p>“I couldn’t sleep.” He said.</p><p>“Oh—“ the curve in Jiwon’s throat bopped, “ me… me too.” He open the door wider just in case Hanbin wants to get in. but the younger stay still, eyes avoiding each other.</p><p>“About, about my smile…” Hanbin said. “if you like them so much… why don’t you… why don’t you claim it?”</p><p>Jiwon feel himself immobile, he couldn‘t feel anything beside the extra pound sore in his chest, every ounce of breath he takes like the empty pulling, no air. Until he met the younger’s eyes.</p><p>He found his entire world back.</p><p>“If I told you I want you back… W-would you, would you come back to me?” he stutters.</p><p>Hanbin scoffed, but the glassy eyes enough to make Jiwon understand that he’s been waiting for him to say it. And that slight nod from Hanbin untying all of his knots. He never realized that he was so empty until Hanbin back into his arms.</p><p>Like the oxygen came back. He’s able to breathe now.</p><p>And when his lips touch the younger’s lips, he realised the difference between living and alive, he pecked the younger all over his face, they stare on each other for some intense seconds.</p><p>Hanbin’s hand sliding up to Jiwon’s nape, exchanging gaze deeply, then they kissed again. Open mouthed. Tongue sliding inside, licking the soft lips so slowly made Hanbin parted his lips desperately. Breathing and whimpering filling the air, especially when Jiwon pressed their hips together.</p><p>“I missed you…” the older breathlessly whispers, “…so much.”</p><p>Hanbin dig his fingers in Jiwon’s shoulder leaving the crescent moon mark when Jiwon suck the skin of his neck.</p><p>“Yeshh… hhh… miss you too.” Hanbin trying not to moan too loud.</p><p>When Jiwon trace his lips with his own again, Hanbin stepping back, bringing Jiwon with him, made him gently pushed the younger to his bed and continue kissing him while his hands roaming up and down Hanbin’s torso that brings pleasure and heat, Jiwon resting his face somewhere near Hanbin jaw, calming himself while the younger keep making friction on their lower part making the sound of the soft cotton ripples under them. There are plenty of feather touch, the warm hugs, the smooth skin under their lips, fabrics are gone slowly, they’re not rushing into anything, eyes half open, admiring each other’s beauty. Face flushing red when the touch are getting bolder, a little dirtier.</p><p>Jiwon sighs to Hanbin’s moans. He likes this song.</p><p>And when Hanbin intensely kissed him, when Jiwon hold the younger’s trembling body under him, when Hanbin whispering “I love you.” To Jiwon when he’s on his peak,</p><p>Jiwon knew it’s a story he never wanted to end.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>(continuing my summary) which they have a closure about their problem with Jennie kkk~ i hope u like this chapter as much as i do. anyway, please do nudge me on twitter, curious cat, or comment here. i really really really love your comments even if it's just to yell at me lmao. xo abbi.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Scent</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Jiwon had a new crush through her scent</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Hanbin looking at the small bottle in his dressing desk. His name engrave in the clear bottle. Hanbin.</p><p>Jiwon made it for him.</p><p>He’s smiling and put it back.</p><p>“Hello.” Jiwon hug him from behind and kiss his neck.</p><p>“Hey, morning.”</p><p>Jiwon kiss the crook of his neck softly, “tell me your schedule today.” He murmured on his neck and it tickles the younger’s stomach.</p><p>“I have to go meeting people from leasing company.”</p><p>“Hmm? What leasing company?”</p><p>Hanbin turned around, “the perfume shop, 5gam, the rent is going to end in less than two months.” Hanbin explained.</p><p>“You’re gonna close it?”</p><p>He nodded.</p><p>“Can I come with you to see the place?”</p><p>Hanbin shook his head, “that means we have to bring Miwa, the place is dusty, Ji, it’s not good for her.”</p><p>“But I wanna seee…” Jiwon whining.</p><p>Hanbin sighs after they got back together, it’s hard to say no to Jiwon, he’s been a spoiled boyfriend and clingy as hell (not that Hanbin hates it tho), “okay, but if Miwa sneeze, one sneeze and you have to get out the place!”</p><p>The older stretched his lips into a wide childish smiles, “okay!”</p><p> </p><p>They arrived at the shop just before lunch time, and because Hanbin were there before, he opened some windows and let the breeze in, made the shop is less musty, only the smell of natural mixed with chemical ingredients of fragrance fill up the 65 sqm room. Jiwon pushed Miwa’s stroller and Miwa seems to enjoying the smell of the room that she’s distracted from her toys and look around instead.</p><p>“Appaa…”</p><p>“Yes, Miw, it’s a perfume shop, it smells good, isn’t it??”</p><p>Miwa nodded.</p><p>Jiwon look around while Hanbin talk to the people from SK leasing outside, he found a small lab behind the counter which had all the tools he had in his working place but everything here is cuter, the dropper came in baby blue and baby pink color, the glassware is even cuter and came in small sizes. He went along the line of beakers, test tubes, pipettes, “Hydroxycitronellal… hydroxy citronellal is C<sub>10</sub>H<sub>20</sub>O<sub>2</sub>” he murmuring the chemical name then smell it, “hmm, citrusy floral… nice…” he went to the other shelf, “butylphenyl…? Ah p-BMHCA! I think this is what makes Hanbin allergic.”</p><p>Jiwon was enjoying looking around because he’s familiar with most of the ingredients with all their molecular names. He glancing at Miwa who now is relaxing her back on her stroller and started to lul herself to sleep.</p><p>Jiwon decided to kill time while Hanbin is still on meeting, “Miwa, appa will mix some nice perfume…” he murmured and took a small bottle, some aluminium foil, a glass jar. He turned on the small pot filled it with water and turn the heat to make distilled water. Then he look around to get inspiration for his recipe.</p><p>He took his cellphone and write a text, “… top note orange zest, lilly… maybe mimosa, middle will have jasmine, or honey? Hhmm… I’m gonna add vanilla for the base note, no, no, too sweet, maybe apple rhum? Oh too masculine, maybe chamomile or cornflower…” Jiwon took the bottle of ingredients he need, and took the vaporised water that condensed back into liquid, that’s the distilled water he needs for the perfume.</p><p>He made this for Miwa so he won’t use anything with alcohol base.</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin back into the room around 20 minutes later and found Miwa is fall asleep inside her stroller while Jiwon is looking like a hot scientist behind the counter.</p><p>“Ji, what are you doing?”</p><p>“Oh, hey, I’m almost done!” he pour the liquid inside the beaker to a spray bottle, “I made perfume for Miwa.”</p><p>“Is it safe?”</p><p>Jiwon laughs, “There are reasons why I still working at Seoul best hospital medical laboratory, and entrusted to make some medicine for people, Kimhan…” he smiles, “these liquids are my world, I know them by heart.”</p><p>Hanbin squints his eyes.</p><p>“Here, smell it, alcohol free and it smells exactly like I imagine Miwa is.”</p><p>Hanbin sniffs Jiwon’s knuckles where he sprayed the perfume, it smells like happy kids playing at the fruit and flower orchard on a bright spring day. “Amazing… it smells like… Miwa.” Jiwon sprayed some to Hanbin’s hand and the younger squeak, “I told you I’m allergic to perfume!”</p><p>“We’ll see… if you’re allergic to this one, I have the medicine for you, but I’m hundred percent sure you won’t need that.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Professor Kang</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I will arrived tomorrow morning, let’s have meeting at dinner time.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jiwon</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Yes, sir, I will informed Baekhyun-ssi. Thank you so much for your time.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Appa!” Miwa shove her snack puff to Jiwon, trying to feed Jiwon.</p><p>Jiwon bite the snack while busy typing something in his phone.</p><p>“Appaaaaaa…” Miwa sounds irritated.</p><p>“Yes, baby? I’m sorry, I need to reply this message.” He lift his head and Miwa is looking at him with a furious face. Jiwon can’t help but laughing at her.</p><p>“Daddy??”</p><p>“Daddy is going out, he’s working, he’ll be home after lunch, Miwa.” Jiwon said. Miwa is trying to escape from her seat, she trying to look for any chance to walk around the house but Jiwon is exhausting from cleaning the house and do the laundry while Hanbin is meeting Youngbae in baby TV, so Jiwon imprisoned her in her baby seat.</p><p>“Hey… I’m home.” Hanbin said while taking off his shoes, he got his laptop bag on one hand and plastic bag of food in other hand.</p><p>“Yay… daddy’s home to feed us.” Jiwon put down his cellphone, he’s in worn out t-shirt and comfy training pants looking like a useless jobless husband at home, and that makes Hanbin mentally smiling.</p><p>Jiwon took another week of holiday in Seoul when he supposed to be back on January 2<sup>nd</sup>.</p><p>Hanbin put the plastic bag on the kitchen countertop and his laptop bag at the bar stools then went to the couch and sat on Jiwon’s lap before kissing him, “hungry?”</p><p>Jiwon glancing at Miwa with the side of his eyes and whispers, “we talked about food, right? Not the other hunger?”</p><p>Hanbin laughing, “yes, we’re talking about food as the food, not me as your food,” he winked before before swooping Miwa and kiss and tickle her.</p><p>“Dadddyyy daddyyy aaaacckkk daddyyy!!” she screaming while pulling Hanbin’s hair.</p><p>“Hahaha…” Hanbin keep playfully wrestle her.</p><p>“What’s with the good mood?” Jiwon joined them on the carpet.</p><p>“No biggie, just had a deal with TV M to make jingle for their late night show.” He shrugged it as if it’s really not a big deal when in fact it’s like the biggest career achievement in Hanbin’s life so far.</p><p>“No effin’ way, Hanbin!”</p><p>Hanbin smiles, “what? It’s just, you know… my everyday work… yeah my everyday activity is signing contract with biggest TV shows, and sometimes meeting mr. President on my free time.”</p><p>“Hanbinnie!”</p><p>The younger laughs, then he squeals with Miwa, “oh my Goooodd Miwa I can’t believe I got the contractt!!! Can you believe thattt aaaaacckkk!!!!”</p><p>“Oh my God!!”</p><p>“Oh my God!!”</p><p>“OH MY GOD HANBINNIE!!”</p><p>“OH MY GOD JIWON!!!””</p><p>“ow ma God miwaaa..” Miwa mumbled</p><p>and three of them laughing.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Few days later, Hanbin had this meeting again with people from TV M. After it done, he went to the lobby and he saw Dr. Min.</p><p>“The meeting’s done?” she asked Youngbae and he nodded. “Hello, Kim Miwa…” Hyorin greeted Miwa and the baby giggles. “You brought baby to your meeting?”</p><p>Hanbin chuckles, “yes, Hyorin-ssi, it’s because Jiwon, my-uhm-partner, he has something important to do.”</p><p>“His partner working in your hospital.” Youngbae said.</p><p>“Really? A doctor too?”</p><p>Hanbin shook his head, “no, he works at the apothecary.”</p><p>“Ah, Kim Jiwon-ssi?”</p><p>“You knew him?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“Of course, there are only four pharmacist in Seoul hospital.” Hyorin laughs. “And he’s one of the best! I didn’t know you’re married to him.”</p><p>“We’re not married yet.”</p><p>“Oh…” Hyorin smiles, “I thought you two got married and adopt Miwa.”</p><p>“It’s a long story, but—yeah, maybe next time.” Hanbin bid himself goodbye because he saw Jiwon’s car.</p><p>“Hey,” he kissed Jiwon after settled Miwa in her car seat.</p><p>“How’s the meeting?”</p><p>“Good, just a brief meeting, a very laid back meeting, that’s why I’m able to bring Miwa.” Hanbin said, “how about you?”</p><p>Jiwon shrugged his shoulder.</p><p>“What?” Hanbin asked again.</p><p>The older shrugging his shoulder, “nothing, just, you know, meeting.”</p><p>Jiwon never good at lying but Hanbin let this one slide because he saw few bottles of 5gam perfume in Jiwon’s dashboard.</p><p>“What’s this?”</p><p>Jiwon quickly glancing at the bottles, “oh, I finished the meeting early and went to 5gam because I saw the key there.” He pointed at the small compartment near the speed stick, “and I made some more perfumes.”</p><p>“You like making perfume, huh?”</p><p>“I’m enjoying it, Bin…” he smiles, “smell it!”</p><p>Hanbin open the bottle one by one, the smell giving him a completely different experience. Jiwon made one he named as nectarine, it smells like the morning in the middle of summer days. The fruity and sweetness in the perfume is not overwhelming at all, the layer is definitely speaks one word; fresh.</p><p>The other has the smell of salt muted at the beginning but as the smell goes by, Hanbin is reminded by the shore, the easy afternoon. And the hint of cinnamon at the end bring him the sense of home.</p><p>“Wow…” Hanbin smiles, “wow…”</p><p>“You like them?’</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“I’m so good at this, aren’t I?” Jiwon wiggle his eyebrows.</p><p>“You are.” Hanbin leaned and kisses the older’s cheek.</p><p>“Bin… why don’t we keep 5gam?” Jiwon slightly pouting, “I like the place so much…” Jiwon took the younger’s hand.</p><p>Hanbin staring at the clasped hands on his lap, “but when you’re in Jeju, no one is gonna take care of it… I won’t have time for that.”</p><p>Jiwon sighs.</p><p>“Ji, next time when you’re back from Jeju and you still want it, we can talk about it again.”</p><p>Jiwon turned to Hanbin when they’re stop during the red light, he put the sweetest smile for Hanbin, “But you don’t hate the idea of reviving 5gam, do you?”</p><p>Hanbin shook his head, “you know that 5gam is one of Haneul’s pride… I’d keep it if I could. But for now, it’s just impossible.”</p><p>Jiwon pull Hanbin’s palm and kiss it, “I get it, anyway… those perfumes are alcohol free,” he said, “you can use them… it’s safe even for baby, and for you because you’re a baby.” Jiwon said, “my baby.”</p><p>“So cheesy, I’m gonna sell you one of those italian restaurant.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Jen,” her co-worker call her, “someone’s looking for you downstairs.”</p><p>Jennie wondered who’s looking for her when he saw Hanbin.</p><p>With flowers in his hand.</p><p>“Hey, Jen.”</p><p>Jennie received the flower from Hanbin.</p><p>“What is this?”</p><p>“Flowers?”</p><p>“Yeah, right, I know, but why?” Jennie smirks.</p><p>“Because I accepted your apology.”</p><p>Jennie burst in laughing, “oh wow!” then she checked on the flowers, it’s pretty but messy, like so many type of flowers arranged in a bouquet, “you put just every flower here because you don’t know what flower I like , do you?”</p><p>“No, I know you <em>don’t</em> like any flowers.” Hanbin replied.</p><p>“Yeah, I appreciate more if you brought me big container of tteopoki.”</p><p>Hanbin smiles, “so… we’re good?”</p><p>Jennie nodded, “we’re totally good.”</p><p>Jennie’s co-worker walked passing them because it’s already lunch time and they’re looking at Hanbin handsome-ness in awe.</p><p>“Hey wanna go grab lunch together?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“I’d love to, moreover if you offering me a free lunch, but I promised my friends to have lunch with them… so, next time?”</p><p>“Sure!”</p><p> </p><p>Jennie joined her friends on a small eatery near the office, she put the flower bouquet on the table and her friends cooing at her.</p><p>“Is he your boyfriend?”</p><p>“Oh my Gosh, he’s so sweet, he came to your office just to give you this?”</p><p>“He’s handsome as hell!”</p><p>“I know right… Jennie is so lucky!”</p><p>Jennie looking at the flower, her heart feel the sad tug for thinking if only Hanbin is still hers to call and how sweet it must be to have your boyfriend coming to your office in the middle of the day just to give you flowers and remind you how much they loves you.</p><p>She inhales and shook her head, “he’s not my boyfriend… he’s my bestfriend.”</p><p>“What kind of bestfriend gave you flower? He must have feelings for you!”</p><p>Jennie swoop her cellphone from her pocket because it buzzes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Junhoe</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Ok, I have time for dinner tonight.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jennie typing ‘???’ as the reply to him. She didn’t remember promised him a dinner whatsoever.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Junhoe</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I promised u one.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>Oh</em>. Jennie remember she was crying during the new years eve when she saw Hanbin left with Jiwon. In her defense, she was hella drunk and she was confuse whether she was sad or happy, and Junhoe came and patted her back, telling her she did a good job, and Jennie remembered she asked Junhoe to treat her something nice and expensive because she’s being a good girl.</p><p>She almost forgot, but Junhoe remember that?</p><p>Unknowingly she smiles.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jennie</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Deal.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Sooo…?” one of her co-worker snap her back to present time, “that guy who gave you flower must have feelings for you, right?? Just date him or I’ll court him…”</p><p>“No… no… he was just… he came to apologize for something.” Jennie lift her head from her cellphone and giggling, “but you girls can’t court him because he has a boyfriend, and his boyfriend is hot as hell!!”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jiwon</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Kimhan, where are you?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Hanbin</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m home. You done meeting with your co-worker? </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jiwon</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m on my way home now… I need to talk to you.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Hanbin </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Why it sounds serious?”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Jiwon</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Because it is.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Where’s Miwa?” Jiwon asked when he’s home and he heard no blabbing baby.</p><p>“Watch some cartoon in Lisa’s place.” He said, “you sounds very serious and I think I need someone to watch Miwa while we’re talking.”</p><p>Jiwon nodded, “I see…” he said, losen his tie and sat on the couch while Hanbin is sitting next to him.</p><p>“So?”</p><p>Jiwon inhaled, “so, I talked to my Professor.”</p><p>“About?”</p><p>“My pharm.D course…”</p><p>Hanbin froze at his seat, he’s got a bad feeling about what he’s gonna say next.</p><p>“One of the Pharm.D course requirement is that it has to be done before the applicant turned 28, and you know I still have few years before I turned 28 meanwhile Baekhyun hyung gonna be 28 next year, he needs the course more than I do, so I gave it up to him…” he said it fast and clear then continued, “I don’t have to go to Jeju anymore.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Jiwon just nodded as if he said, <em>you heard me.</em></p><p>“Ji…” Hanbin sighs, “You don’t have to do this for 5gam.” Hanbin knew Jiwon been going to 5gam everytime he has time and experimenting with everything it offers.</p><p>“I…” Jiwon knew he’d lie if he said it’s not about it, but it wasn’t the only thing. He wants to stay where Hanbin and Miwa are, “I did it for us…”</p><p>Hanbin took a deep breathe, “Kim Jiwon,” he sat beside him, “why you never discuss anything big with me?”</p><p>Jiwon gulped, Hanbin looks slightly annoyed.</p><p>“You made me look selfish.” Hanbin said, “we went through something similar like this just now, you get it? We’re finally settle about you moving to Jeju and now you suddenly wanna stay here just because 5gam? You gonna give up your dream because of me again?”</p><p>“5gam is not only about you, Bin.”</p><p>“I know, but that’s my family’s shop.”</p><p>“I’m your family now.”</p><p>Hanbin paused to calm his heart, at this point he know Jiwon more, “give me a second to drink water.” Hanbin stood up and go to the kitchen. On his way he’s trying to think about what he’s gonna say, he’s not gonna ruin anything and end up hurting them again. And he remembered how happy Jiwon everytime he got time to go to 5gam.</p><p>“Bin are you mad?” Jiwon asked when he’s back.</p><p>Hanbin shook his head, he offered his water to Jiwon, “drink…”</p><p>“Is this poisoned?” Jiwon asked.</p><p>“Yeah, and we both will die in 5 seconds.”</p><p>Jiwon have a sip before put the glass on the table, “Baekhyun hyung promised me to make a recommendation for me next year.”</p><p>“Will the course still going to be in Jeju?” Hanbin staring at the water in the glass.</p><p>Jiwon nodded, “most likely so… I know it sounds like I’m just postponing things, pressing snooze button for us to be separated again, but—“</p><p>“Sshh!” Hanbin raised his finger, “can you make sure to me one thing?”</p><p>Jiwon raised his eyebrows.</p><p>“Are you sure you can make 5gam revive in just one year?”</p><p>Jiwon paused, “well I…”</p><p>“Because I don’t want to hear you postponing your course again next year.”</p><p>Jiwon smiles, he nodded, “I’m sure 5gam is going to be great in a year.”</p><p>“And if it doesn’t work, promise me you’re still going to Jeju for your course.”</p><p>He nodded again, “I promise.”</p><p>“I should write this down so you won’t fool me.” Hanbin said.</p><p>“I will never fool you, baby…” Jiwon whispers.</p><p>Hanbin staring at him, trying to look stern, “alright, let’s go get Miwa.”</p><p>“But, Bin…”</p><p>Hanbin turned to the older, “hm?”</p><p>“Gimme a smile first… you’ve been so scary just now.”</p><p>Hanbin inhaled, “I’ve been holding this smile since you said you’re gonna stay here with me to rebuild 5gam…” he grinned.</p><p>“So you’re actually happy?”</p><p>“Yes! Of course! I mean, how can I not be happy if you’re gonna rebuilt 5gam? Wait until mom hear about this, she’s gonna jumping in joy!” Hanbin paused, “but I can help but feeling selfish because you deserves your course!” he pouts and Jiwon can’t help but falling in love to him again.</p><p>“I told you it can wait.”</p><p>“Yeah but the sooner the better!”</p><p>Jiwon swoop Hanbin inside his embrace. Settle him on his lap.</p><p>“And also.” Hanbin pull away a bit, “promise me to discuss anything with me! I might not the best person to give you advice… but I want to be the first one to know anything that occur in your life.”</p><p>“Come to think of it, is this why you couldn’t wait to tell me when Miwa first walked?”</p><p>“And when I met people from baby TV, or when I finally I got the job there, and many other things that I always reported to you… because you’re that special, Kimji. I want you to be the first someone I shared anything that happened in my life.”</p><p>Jiwon smiles, “I’m sorry… now I feel bad.”</p><p>“Don’t be…” Hanbin crumpled his fingers on Jiwon’s shirt, “I’m no better person, Ji, I accused you for having no faith in me… until I did something bad to our relationship, we almost sacrificed Miwa because of our selfishness. Now we’re adjusting to fit to each other more.”</p><p>“I did have no faith in you, that was my fault.”</p><p>Hanbin rolled his eyes, “I’m not here sitting in your lap just to argue about who’s fault it was.” Hanbin said, “if you’re not gonna kiss me or do something, I’ll just gonna take Miwa from Lisa’s now.”</p><p>Jiwon slips his hand inside the hem of Hanbin’s shirt and smoothed the younger side, let his finger pads feels the silky skin under the fabric. “ehm, I don’t wanna kiss you… I want <em>you</em> to kiss me…” he look up, staring right into Hanbin’s eyes.</p><p>Hanbin cupped his jaw and nibble the latter’s lower lips made him sighs.</p><p>“What else you want me to do?” Hanbin speak on his lips.</p><p>“Fuck me?”</p><p>Hanbin smirk and push Jiwon further to the couch, “my pleasure, sir…”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>next is the final chapter... so please let me know what you think. xo abbi.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. We're the Kims</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>in which the end is the beginning</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“So you guys made up?” Jinan asked.</p><p>Hanbin took some apples and put it inside a fruit bag and to his shopping cart.</p><p>“We trying to be more considerate and understanding towards each other…” he said.</p><p>“You sure you’re not gonna argue again later?”</p><p>“Misunderstanding and arguments will always creeping from the corner of a dark aisle, hyung, but as I said, we’re going to try to be more understanding.”</p><p>“Have you talk to him, like real talk, which is deep and long?”</p><p>“We did…”</p><p>“Don’t argue over small things.”</p><p>Hanbin scoffed, “who’s the stupid people who likes to argue over a small matters?”</p><p>Jinan staring at Hanbin, “I know two.”</p><p>“Who?”</p><p>“You and Jiwon.”</p><p>“We’re never argue about small things!”</p><p>“Well. I just know you guys a typical person who hold a large ego and living in pride… I might never witness it but…” he annoyingly shrugging.</p><p>“Jiwon promised me to reduce his temper, and I promise him not to be naggy.” Hanbin pouts.</p><p>Jinan laughs, “so cute, two of you…”</p><p> </p><p>Yes, he and Jiwon talked few days a go, they had a long conversation about their relationship. Jiwon realised their conversations always had Miwa as the center and after they tucked Miwa to bed, it’s about time for them to talk about just two of them.</p><p>Hanbin expressed hims worries, his thought, and his concern. Jiwon accepts everything with an open mind. He understood the younger's worries about 5gam, Jiwon’s study to Jeju which he postponed, and any other concerns regarding to Miwa.</p><p>“I know many things are still unfastened, like I seem to postponing my study, or who’s gonna run 5gam while I’m gone to Jeju. And it is impossible to solve everything right now, Bin, but we’ll figure everything out as long as we promised each other to stay together through thick and thin.” Jiwon holds the younger’s hand. “Miwa is half of my world, and you’re the other part of it. You know I don’t have anyone else beside you and her, and I’d do anything to keep you two beside me. I was stupid to feed my ego, but I promised you I’ll fix myself up, I’ll be a better person.” Jiwon staring at Hanbin’s eyes, “and you have to promise me to that you will have the same effort as me.”</p><p>Hanbin gazing at their intertwined hands then he nodded. “Actually, I’m glad that you postpone your study…” Hanbin murmured.</p><p>“You do? Why?”</p><p>“Because when you’re gone, Miwa will be at least three years old, she’ll be big enough to travel with me to Jeju to visit you.”</p><p>Jiwon chuckles, “she’s a smart and sweet girl, she’ll cooperate whenever it is, but I’m glad you found goodness in the situation.” Jiwon squeeze his hands tighter, “I can go to Seoul every weekend to watch Miwa when you’re working.”</p><p>Hanbin took a deep breathe after their comfort silence, “if only we were discussing like this instead of went furious back then…”</p><p>“No, Bin, we had to went through that to value this relationship… to make me realised how much I need you in my life…”</p><p>Hanbin rest his head on the older’s shoulder, and he feels safe. Jiwon was right, they can’t just solve everything at once… everything needs time, and all they need is to always be together.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Hanbin came home to find Jiwon is opening a big box of his newly ordered perfume base and others materials.</p><p>“Hey.” Hanbin bent down to reach Jiwon’s lips and the older reached up to kiss him. Hanbin watch the latter’s face beamed up and look brighter, “are you that happy?”</p><p>Jiwon turned to see his boyfriend, “you’re doubting my happiness being here with you?”</p><p>Hanbin laughs, “no, I mean with those new toys of yours.” Hanbin pointed at the box.</p><p>“Ah, these? Yes.” He playfully nodding, “very happy.”</p><p>Jiwon re-open the perfumery few day ago, he invited many acquaintances and turns out 5gam old customers are thrilled to know that their favorite perfume shop is re-open. Jiwon been spending hours there during his free time, he would sometimes bring Miwa along and he already prepared a small room filled with Miwa’s toys, pillows and and ipad just in case Miwa got bored and need to meet her monster family cartoon or to listening her daddy’s songs.</p><p>“Dadadadadaaddyyy…” Miwa mumbles while bouncily walking towards Hanbin.</p><p>“Hey, baby, I got you banana, and tofu… a lot of it.”</p><p>“Dadadadaaaddyyy…” she blobbed on Hanbin’s lap, “Eeyowe is sad and pigget is sad too… poowh came wiv wabbit and tiggew, daddy, and they cheey eeyow… Miwa wants eeyow as a pet daddy…”</p><p>Hanbin turned to Jiwon. Asking for help.</p><p>“She’s watching adventure of Winnie the pooh, and the last episode was talking about how Pooh, Rabbit, and Tigger cheer Eeyore and Pigglet who were upset about something… and she keeps on saying she wants Eeyore as a donkey pet.” Jiwon explained.</p><p>“But Eeyore is not a pet, miss Miwa, Eeyore is Pooh’s friend…”</p><p>“Miwa wants Eeyore as fwend.”</p><p>“What about winnie?</p><p>“Winnie?” Miwa tilt her head.</p><p>“Pooh,” Hanbin corrected himself, “Miwa has a lot of Pooh soft toys… Miwa doesn’t like him?”</p><p>“No,” Miwa shook her head, “Miwa likes Pooh, but Miwa wants eeyowe…”</p><p>“Okay…” Hanbin nodded, “tomorrow we’re going to a toy store and get my little Miwa-ssi an Eeyore.”</p><p>“Yay yay yaaayy!!” Miwa circled her short arms aroung Hanbin’s neck while jumping in joy.</p><p>“Hanbin the king of spoiling Miwa.” Jiwon scoffed.</p><p>“Like you’re the saint.” Hanbin replied, “I saw your present for Miwa’s birthday. You’re the biggest loser here and don’t tell me otherwise.”</p><p>Jiwon just snickered while his mind wandering to the huge box of a doll house in the corner of guest room.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“We’re here.” Jiwon parked their car in front of cute cake shop called Sugarcup. The door ding-ing when they entered the room. One helper behind the counter smiling,</p><p>“Hello, can I help you?” the name tag on her left chest is written with her name, Eun Ah.</p><p>“Yes, we’re looking for a cake for our daughter’s birthday.”</p><p>Eun Ah paused, “ah I remember you guys from last year.” She smiles wider, looks like not many same sex couple buying cakes here.</p><p>“Oh, you’re the one served us back then?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Wow, cool…” Jiwon murmured.</p><p>“So… have you decide what cake you want for your little ones?”</p><p>“Of course, we’re not spending time here to argue anymore… because we’re gonna take the Banana in Pyjamas theme cake.” Jiwon said.</p><p>“Oh…” Eun Ah stopped, “but…”</p><p>Two guys in front of her raised their eyebrows.</p><p>“We don’t have that cake today… the cakes changing everyday, you were lucky we made that cake last year but to have a spesific cake you actually have to pre-ordering the cake at least one week before.”</p><p>“But her birthday is tomorrow!” Jiwon said.</p><p>Eun Ah showed a anxious expression, “I’m very sorry…”</p><p>Hanbin and Jiwon exchanging gaze.</p><p>“So…?” Eun Ah asked. “we have Minnie mouse and Winnie the Pooh ready for today…”</p><p>“Okay then we’ll take…” Jiwon rubbed his chin.</p><p>“Minnie.”</p><p>“Winnie.”</p><p>They said in unison</p><p>“Pardon?” Eun Ah asked again.</p><p>“Winnie.”</p><p>“Minnie.”</p><p>They said it in unison again.</p><p>“Kimhan…” Jiwon set his voice to be intimidating but Hanbin never back off.</p><p>“Kimjii….” The younger add a glare to Jiwon.</p><p>“Let us take the Winnie.” Jiwon said, “I know my daughter very well.”</p><p>“Oh really? For me I think she would love the Minnie cake more.”</p><p>“Yeah? I don’t think so.”</p><p>“You think you knew her better, Jiwon?”</p><p>“Yeah of course.”</p><p>“Oh funny because practically I psent more time with our daughter.” Hanbin rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Wow, uncool, Bin, uncool, I’m sorry that I have office at actual building, with normal office hour which made me has to be away for few hours from Miwa,” Jiwon replied, “and sorry for not working at home office like you and I’m not working in the middle of the night too.”</p><p>“Now me being Dj is a problem again? Hanbin fold his hand in front of him.</p><p>“Nope, not at all,” Jiwon raised his hands, “maybe I should be a DJ to, so you won’t say terrible things like I don’t know my daughter.’</p><p>“Oh here we go!”</p><p>“But we all know who she called first, right, KIMJI, and APPA, oh wow, that just proved that our bonding is so strong.” Jiwon sneered.</p><p>Hanbin was about to explode when Eun Ah who sneaking to the back office came back to see the couple still bickering.</p><p>“Ehm. Gentlemen.” She clears her thraot, “my pastry chef agreed to trying make the Banana in Pyjamas cake for you.” She continued, “you can take the cake tomorrow, but we can’t promise you a big cake.”</p><p>Hanbin and Jiwon paused their arguments, “oh…” Hanbin murmured.</p><p>“Well then…” Jiwon mumbled too.</p><p>“They can make it for us, Ji…”</p><p>“They’re gonna make it for us, Bin.”</p><p>“Thank you.” Hanbin said.</p><p>“Yes, thank you.” Jiwon smiles after repeating what the younger said.</p><p>Eun Ah sighs after the couple left. “They really is like the Bananas in Bananas in Pyjamas…”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>may 4, 2021</p><p> </p><p>Neighbors are gathered at the rooftop, as usual, and the spring baby blue sky add the goodness, radiating joy. Kids music produced by one and only Kim Hanbin comes from small portable speaker, yet somehow the background ambiance which full of kids giggles and adults chatting is comforting.</p><p>“Sooo…” Jinhwan went near them, “I heard you two argued at the cake shop?”</p><p>“Who told you?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>Jinhwan shrugged his shoulders, “I just have my way…”</p><p>Hanbin looking at Jiwon, “we argue at the cake shop?”</p><p>Jiwon furrowed his eyebrows, “why would we argue?’</p><p>“Yeah, why?” Hanbin asked.</p><p>“Can’t argue, Hanbin.”</p><p>“Me too, don’t wanna argue my Kimji~”</p><p>“Oh, Kimhan…”</p><p>“Can’t live without this big baby.” The younger hugs Jiwon</p><p>Jiwon wrap him inside his embrace, “can’t live without you, too…”</p><p>“Ok, cool, you guys are the only couple disgust me.” Jinan left them right when Jennie came with Junhoe and Jinan seems to have a new victim to be teased.</p><p>“Oh, look a new couple!” Jinan shouts.</p><p>“Couple?” Junhoe flinched, “who? Us?”</p><p>Jennie scrunches her nose, “ewhhh…”</p><p>“Then why you guys always together?” Jinan raised one eyebrow.</p><p>“We met downstairs.” Jennie replied.</p><p>“Oh am I supposed to believe that?” Jinan grinned.</p><p>Mrs. Kim called the to sing Miwa a hppy birthday and cut the cake.</p><p>“HAPPY BDAY MIWAAA…”</p><p>The two years old baby giggling while mumbling words about she wants the cake as soon as possible and that’s an order.</p><p>Jiwon take a plastic knife and about to cut the cake when Hanbin stopped him.</p><p>“We should cut it in rectangle shape.” The younger said.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“Don’t cut it in triangle shape, rectangle get us more cuts.”</p><p>Jiwon furrowed his eyebrows, “huh? It’s the same.”</p><p>“No, Jiwon, come one, give me the knife, let me cut the cake.”</p><p>“Oh you just want to get the privilege of cutting the cake.”</p><p>“Since when cutting the cake is a privilege??”</p><p>“Since now, or since whenever you and your sneaky mind think it is.” Jiwon shrugged.</p><p>“My God! I was just offering help!”</p><p>“You think I’d buy that?”</p><p>“Geez, Kim Jiwon—“</p><p>“Hey, guys, you argue?” Jinan came.</p><p>“Ye-what? No!! we’re not!” Hanbin fold his hands in defense mode.</p><p>“Oh co cute…”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Sugar rush from eating too much cake plus the excitement of opening many presents got Miwa jumping and running around like a tornado. She keeps on mumbling, singing, sometimes annoyed when Jiwon is trying to help-slash-teasing her, and Hanbin just watching while making Jiwon a cold pressed juice of celery and lemon, and supper for Miwa.</p><p>He smiles when remember how Miwa is screaming so excitedly to see the present from Jiwon (and Hanbin) because Jiwon said that huge doll house is enough even is she didn’t get other presents for another two upcoming birthdays. His little girl kissing Hanbin and Jiwon brutally while screaming thank you repeatedly.</p><p>And Hanbin teared up.</p><p>The joy of being parent.</p><p>You feel you can do anything to see the smile of your little ones.</p><p> </p><p>“What you’re thinking?” Jiwon burried his face on the crook of Hanbin’s neck.</p><p>“Myself,” he replied, “with you and Miwa…. Our family.”</p><p>“Sentimental Kimhan.” Jiwon peck the skin few times until Hanbin whines.</p><p>Hanbin then threw himself to the couch and see Miwa still walking happily around her new doll house.</p><p>“I love her so much.” Hanbin mumbled.</p><p>“I love you so much.” Jiwon smiles then kissing the younger's cheek.</p><p>Hanbin turned and put a confuse face. “If I love Miwa so much, and you love me so much, who’s gonna love you?”</p><p>“Don’t care, I just want to love you and Miwa so so much. I don’t care if you two love me back as much as I do.”</p><p>Hanbin pull Jiwon closer, “you know I love you as much as you do.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know…”</p><p>Hanbin chuckled, “three of us is so perfect, it scares me.”</p><p>“You have me, and we have Miwa, we shouldn’t be scared.”</p><p>Hanbin nodded.</p><p>“Kimhan…”</p><p>Hanbin turned to Jiwon, “yes?”</p><p>“Life isn’t stop when everything falling into the right places like now. its doesn’t stop when you think it’s perfect. You know it only happened in the movies. But for us, this is just the beginning—oh no, the beginning was when I saw you one year a go, I wouldn’t imagine that I’d end up loving you like this… but what I’m gonna say is, we might find hardships again in the future, maybe the problems are even bigger. But please stay with me…”</p><p>Hanbin bite his lower lips, “you too. Stay with me no matter how hard it is.”</p><p>Jiwon nodded, “I promise.”</p><p>Hanbin lightly kissed his lips.</p><p>“We’ll hang on each other, okay?”</p><p>Hanbin nodded, “I know this is right, because it scares me but it excites me too.”</p><p>Jiwon pull the younger closer and absorb all his warm and scent, “we’re gonna stick together forever, Bin…”</p><p>“Even beyond forever…” Hanbin whispers.</p><p>Miwa turned to her parents to see them cuddling and she immediately throw herself in the middle of the two adults.</p><p>“Daddy, appa, miwaaa…” she mumbled.</p><p>“Yup, three of us.” Hanbin hold her closer.</p><p>“Tweee… daddy, appa, miwa…” she counting using her chubby little fingers, “tweee of us.”</p><p>“We’re the Kims, Miwa… we’re the Kims.” Jiwon said, and Hanbin giggled.</p><p>4<sup>th</sup> of May is a bright spring day, just like Hanbin and Jiwon describe how Miwa is, a bright little baby girl, the one who bring up the sun in Hanbin and Jiwon’s life, the one return extra energy to the two adults. Her presence is the music for Hanbin’s soul, and the best medicine for Jiwon’s heart. She’s the infinite blue sky, the soft breeze, the freshly baked apple pie.</p><p>She is love.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>-the end-</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yup, that's it!<br/>wow! can't believe that i actually finished a story! 20 chapters? wow.<br/>Anywaysss! thank you for staying until the end. thank you for all the comments here, curious cat, or twitter. Thank you for any kind of appreciation. thank you, thank you, thank you!<br/>do not forget to see them again in "suddenly family" a short stories about their life.<br/>thank you.<br/>xo abbi.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>talk to me on twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/bbindaeyo"> @bbindaeyo.
or
curious cat </a><a href="https://curiouscat.qa/bbindaeyo"> bbindaeyo</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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